Roast Yelling at Clouds

[Next Waiting]

Did you change your meds like I suggested?

You didn't, I can tell.

Actually I'd like to thank the good people at Pharmacare and the good people at Asahi Breweries International for the delicious cocktail I've discovered recently.

 

[maddog37]

When I say crafted it's more that I allow my long blonde curls to cascade gently over my shoulders like some dreamy waterfall.

It's the only thing Bailey Smith and I have in common...me being a much better kick.

 

[Next Waiting]

Thanks so much. Thanks, thanks very much, thank you. What's this so crap.

 

[Bulldog rick]

A Yelling at Clouds Hall of Fame dinner seems inevitable to me. At threadbare and stained red carpet affair.

To be held in a drafty town hall with limited car parking and no disabled car parks or access. The venue will be inaccessible by public transport and the night will be scheduled to clash with a Bulldogs must win block busting final. The venue will not have a television and will be in an internet black spot.

You'll be seated 12 to a table that only has the capacity to seat 8 and as close to the toilets as possible. A choice of under-cooked chicken with an alphalpha salad or over cooked steak with under cooked potatoes awaits you, both accompanied by a 2 day old bread roll, served on mismatched crockery by incompetent and inexperienced wait staff. There will be no vegan or vegetarian options.

Poor lighting and trip hazards will be arranged for the infirm, the first aid kit will be difficult to find and not have any band aids and the defibrilator will be at the shop for repairs after being tampered with by delinquent youths..

The bar will run dry between mains and dessert and the microphone used for acceptance speeches will deliver constant feedback...when it works. The coffee will be instant.

And for the ladies, I haven't forgotten you. In your 4 stall bathroom, 3 of the stalls will be out of order, there will be no mirror and we'll run out of toilet paper within the first hour. In the vein of "don't get beaten by what you know", the incontinent should also come prepared.

The same delinquent teenagers who wrecked the defibrilator will be engaged to interfere with your vehicles and syphon your fuel while you suffer through proceedings inside and a booze bus and vehicle inspection point will be provided upon your exit for your inconvenience. A local hobby farmer, possibly geoffjennings79, will also be engaged to leave a gate open to allow his neglected livestock to wander haphazardly on the road or to emerge suddenly and without warning from the overgrown, bushfire risk, roadside verge that borders his property and/or through the fences that have been allowed fall into a sate of disrepair.

It's yet to be decided whether the event will be held on an extreme fire risk day and whether the delinquent teenagers will also set fire to geoffjennings79's noxious weed and snake infested, asbestos dumping ground of a verge using the fuel they've syphoned from your vehicles.

I look forward to seeing you all there.

Excited about this 1 star extravaganza your planning Next Waiting. Sounds like more fun than a lead balloon.
Like to suggest some music to accompany the festivities.
Opening song could be ' Everything is Beautiful ' just before the participants enter the carefully selected venue and the cold reality slaps them in their face. Good for tuning up the vocal chords for a good whinging.
A couple of Slim Dusty classics to be included in the repertoire. The first would be
' I love a beer with Duncan because Duncan's me mate' but abruptly cut short and replaced with ' The pub with no beer' as the patients become more vocal and the real stars begin to shine.
During meal time, I suggest Weird Al Yankovic baritone song ' Eat it ' just eat it.
Play this on repeat until all lab rats have cleaned their dishes.
For any straglers, I would expect you to get the microphone and belt out :
' You better listen better do what your told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole just eat it,eat it, open up your mouth and feed it.'
I hope these suggestions help make the occasion more special than it deserves. Unfortunately I won't be there as I have a prior engagement at the MCG.

 

[Next Waiting]

Excited about this 1 star extravaganza your planning Next Waiting. Sounds like more fun than a lead balloon.
Like to suggest some music to accompany the festivities.
Opening song could be ' Everything is Beautiful ' just before the participants enter the carefully selected venue and the cold reality slaps them in their face. Good for tuning up the vocal chords for a good whinging.
A couple of Slim Dusty classics to be included in the repertoire. The first would be
' I love a beer with Duncan because Duncan's me mate' but abruptly cut short and replaced with ' The pub with no beer' as the patients become more vocal and the real stars begin to shine.
During meal time, I suggest Weird Al Yankovic baritone song ' Eat it ' just eat it.
Place this on repeat until all lab rats have cleaned their dishes.
For any straglers, I would expect you to get the microphone and belt out :
' You better listen better do what your told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole just eat it,eat it, open up your mouth and feed it.'
I hope these suggestions help make the occasion more special than it deserves. Unfortunately I won't be there as I have a prior engagement at the MCG.

Thanks for the suggestions, however, as Dwayne Russell and Kelli Underwood will be jointly MCing the event it'll be one of those two belting out the tunes (probably Kelli) while usher for the evening, BT, guides the stragglers to their tables.

 

[Bulldog rick]

Thanks for the suggestions, however, as Dwayne Russell and Kelli Underwood will be jointly MCing the event it'll be one of those two belting out the tunes (probably Kelli) while usher for the evening, BT, guides the stragglers to their tables.

Could Manuel from Fawlty Towers assist BT in the ushering duties? I am just getting these vibes that it would work.
Do you know if Kelli can belt out any rap music?
I think you need some music from the hood when your expert on analingus rocks up playing in the background. I was thinking a bit of Nicki Manij and khia with ' My Neck My Back (lick it).
Maybe Dwyane and Kelli could do a duo

All for the noble cause of yelling at clouds.

 

[Timewillcome]

Even if you are joking, I reckon everyone has probably walked out with something accidentally. I did it a couple of years back with a Roast Chicken (prior to me black banning the use of these checkouts) I’d hung it on that little hook on the back of the trolley, unpacked the whole trolley, scanned everything diligently and paid. I got out the car at the other end of the shopping centre and unloaded the trolley into the car and saw the chicken….god I felt bad…for about 5 minutes, then thought about all the times I can guarantee I’ve been rorted by the supermarket scanning extra items, not applying specials, leaving things out of my online order and me not noticing.

Gee that roast chook tasted good

The secret ingredient was crime.

 

[Timewillcome]

Have been trying to remember who Jeff White took a dive against in the ruck to cost us a finals spot. It was Wayde Skipper

This is it. Extremely soft decision that has been burned into my memory.

 

[Fossie 32]

This is it. Extremely soft decision that has been burned into my memory.

wtf Willie was the ruck and they say White was his opponent so wtf was the other gimp wrestling with Willie?

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Even if you are joking, I reckon everyone has probably walked out with something accidentally. I did it a couple of years back with a Roast Chicken (prior to me black banning the use of these checkouts) I’d hung it on that little hook on the back of the trolley, unpacked the whole trolley, scanned everything diligently and paid. I got out the car at the other end of the shopping centre and unloaded the trolley into the car and saw the chicken….god I felt bad…for about 5 minutes, then thought about all the times I can guarantee I’ve been rorted by the supermarket scanning extra items, not applying specials, leaving things out of my online order and me not noticing.

Gee that roast chook tasted good

I walked out with a $100 gift card which I was holding so it wouldn’t get damp on the conveyor belt. Of course I had to go back and pay for it to be authenticated

 

[grassman75]

I walked out with a $100 gift card which I was holding so it wouldn’t get damp on the conveyor belt. Of course I had to go back and pay for it to be authenticated

So you walked out with a plastic card effectively….not really stealing is it….

 

[Hoges64]

- Nuts in brownies. Why ruin a perfectly good treat?

- The driver at the front of the queue for the green arrow not moving their arse the nano second they get the green arrow. Move it!! We all want to get across the intersection.

- Lack of sleep. Interrupted sleep. Does anyone actually get good sleep these days? Work, family, parenting, finances, the weather, your health. It takes its toll on whether you get a good nights sleep.

- The fact that I’m aging. It was my birthday the other day. I have one more year in my 30’s. I look in the mirror and go, yep, middle age, I’m nearly there. Where did the time go? (ps I mean this point respectfully for all the posters who are older than me!)




I’ll think of more, that’s all for now.

Are you.....


...me?