Roast Yelling at Clouds

[Next Waiting]

Sooooo many things annoy me these days. It's one of the great joys of aging.

So it occurred to me that we need a thread that enables us (mainly me) to vent at things around the periphery of footy. Not game or player performance reviews, trade or list management, this coach or that (I mean back in my day we had these concepts called consolidation and efficiency where you didn't need 10 threads to talk about the same thing ... and a thread was something you picked at on your shirt).

People or things that annoy you. It could be a player or a coach but it's their appearance, tatts, haircut, shirt, their voice, lazy eye or language that annoys you. The important stuff.

Most commentatoes annoy me. Particularly Brayshaw and Underwood. Stop farking yelling at me! If wanna be yelled at, I can not put the bins out or forget the milk.

And this fixation with journeys. Everything's a farking journey. No! No more journeys. It's time for an expedition in a window of opportunity. Nah, I'm over windows too.

 

[dogwatch]

View attachment 1975176

Sooooo many things annoy me these days. It's one of the great joys of aging.

So it occurred to me that we need a thread that enables us (mainly me) to vent at things around the periphery of footy. Not game or player performance reviews, trade or list management, this coach or that (I mean back in my day we had these concepts called consolidation and efficiency where you didn't need 10 threads to talk about the same thing ... and a thread was something you picked at on your shirt).

People or things that annoy you. It could be a player or a coach but it's their appearance, tatts, haircut, shirt, their voice, lazy eye or language that annoys you. The important stuff.

Most commentatoes annoy me. Particularly Brayshaw and Underwood. Stop farking yelling at me! If wanna be yelled at, I can not put the bins out or forget the milk.

And this fixation with journeys. Everything's a farking journey. No! No more journeys. It's time for an expedition in a window of opportunity. Nah, I'm over windows too.

I get annoyed by people who post graphics too big for the low density resolution.

 

[Norm De Guerre]

I get annoyed at a new thread that makes all other threads on bigfooty redundant.

That and everything life. It takes too darn long to be over.

 

[Next Waiting]

Phones. Phones annoy me, or rather that people you don't want to talk to can get at you.

I learnt about phones on one of these



You can still see them in museums. It's called a party line and there might have been 4 or 5 houses on the same line, each one with a slightly different ring tone so you knew if the call was for you. We had 2. One went from the house to the woolshed. Calls to and from the house (except the woolshed line) had to go through the operator. You might think that's rubbish. Yeah? Guess how many scam calls we got. That's right none. No-ones ringing the operator at 6pm saying "Hello please I'd like to be speaking to party number 3. No not sure of name", you couldn't "Press 1 for English" and no-one's stealing your passwords and cleaning out your bank account

And parents give their kids toy mobile phones to play with . We had painted blocks to chew on and that paint contained lead! Didn't do me any harm. And OK I might have choked on the odd block but I got my choking out of the way early rather than wait till gameday.

 

[dogwatch]

Phones. Phones annoy me, or rather that people you don't want to talk to can get at you.

I learnt about phones on one of these

View attachment 1975197

You can still see them in museums. It's called a party line and there might have been 4 or 5 houses on the same line, each one with a slightly different ring tone so you knew if the call was for you. We had 2. One went from the house to the woolshed. Calls to and from the house (except the woolshed line) had to go through the operator. You might think that's rubbish. Yeah? Guess how many scam calls we got. That's right none. No-ones ringing the operator at 6pm saying "Hello please I'd like to be speaking to party number 3. No not sure of name"

And parents give their kids toy mobile phones to play with . We had painted blocks to chew and that paint contained lead! Didn't do me any harm. And OK I might have choked on the odd block but I got my choking out of the way early. Kids these days save it till gameday.

Nice size graphic!

 

[stevieg1969]

I think there needs to be Lift/Elevator etiquette.
Fill the back corners first.
Do not enter a ground floor lift until all have exited the lift.
Do not press a button to open the door of a lift that’s door is already closing.
Do not go up or down a floor (use the stairs)

I could go on!

 

[Next Waiting]

I think there needs to be Lift/Elevator etiquette.
Fill the back corners first.
Do not enter a ground floor lift until all have exited the lift.
Do not press a button to open the door of a lift that’s door is already closing.
Do not go up or down a floor (use the stairs)

I could go on!

Please do.

 

[Next Waiting]

I think there needs to be Lift/Elevator etiquette.
Fill the back corners first.
Do not enter a ground floor lift until all have exited the lift.
Do not press a button to open the door of a lift that’s door is already closing.
Do not go up or down a floor (use the stairs)

I could go on!

And POS etiquette.

You're standing patiently in line and finally it's your turn and you plonk the single item you have to purchase on the counter and whip the card out ready pay. Then from nowhere, the old bat behind you decides to plonk all her sh1t on the counter beside yours whilst simultaneously obstructing your access to the eftpos machine ..... because she's old and frail. We've all got our problems! And I don't wanna hear ya life story. This counter is mine and I paid for it with my time. You're encroaching on my personal space. * off!

 

[dogwatch]

Zero Sum Game posters on BF.

You know ... the ones who are all about winning the argument, not about having a constructive discussion.

 

[Next Waiting]

Zero Sum Game posters on BF.

You know ... the ones who are all about winning the argument, not about having a constructive discussion.

No they aren't

 

[Next Waiting]

And you young 'uns out there. Shopping is not a leisure activity!

Word of advice (boys). Build into your marriage (is that still a thing) vows .... get it in writing ... that you are not required to accompany your other half shopping. That under no circumstances are you required to "check out" Ikea and that all children will be born between November and February. You can thank me later.

 

[Freshwater]

Could of. I could of gone to the game but I didn’t. It’s as bogan as anythink.
In case any don’t know, could’ve is short for could have!

 

[geoffjennings79]

I think there needs to be Lift/Elevator etiquette.
Fill the back corners first.
Do not enter a ground floor lift until all have exited the lift.
Do not press a button to open the door of a lift that’s door is already closing.
Do not go up or down a floor (use the stairs)

I could go on!

In my younger corporate days in the big smoke, I had a period of time where I used to enter a lift and face everyone, making eye contact with as many people as possible, and smiling the whole time.
Virtually everyone looked down or away, and shifted the weight between their feet uncomfortably, or shuffled whatever they were holding in their hands.
Anyone that entered on floors where I didn't need to exit, I offered to press their floor button for them.
Other than that, I followed your etiquette to a T.
Not sure many of my fellow travellers enjoyed my behaviour (well, there was one young lady, but that's a long story... )

I miss those days.
I've also forgotten where I was going with this reply...

Oh well, is it round 23 yet?

 

[stevieg1969]

Please do.

Don’t press the close door button before everyone alights the lift.
Don’t enter the lift diagonally - keep your line.
Don’t let your kid press the floor button

 

[Optimistic Dog]

What annoys me.

Is letting myself believe we are going to be a good team each season knowing deep down we are very average.
To many score reviews.
My crap putting at golf.

 

[Next Waiting]

Could of. I could of gone to the game but I didn’t. It’s as bogan as anythink.
In case any don’t know, could’ve is short for could have!

This is definitely the place for such annoyances. There are many grammatically incorrect shaped clouds to yell at.

 

[Dogs 13]

Don’t press the close door button before everyone alights the lift.
Don’t enter the lift diagonally - keep your line.
Don’t let your kid press ALL THE floor buttons

 

[geoffjennings79]

And that all children will be born between November and February. You can thank me later.

Late spring wedding - check

All kid's due dates post-season - check

Several kids arrive (very) prematurely during H&A and finals - luckily all grew up strong and healthy. Bloody challenging when birthdays clash with a home game or a (usually) prelim final!

 

[Next Waiting]

In my younger corporate days in the big smoke, I had a period of time where I used to enter a lift and face everyone, making eye contact with as many people as possible, and smiling the whole time.
Virtually everyone looked down or away, and shifted the weight between their feet uncomfortably, or shuffled whatever they were holding in their hands.
Anyone that entered on floors where I didn't need to exit, I offered to press their floor button for them.
Other than that, I followed your etiquette to a T.
Not sure many of my fellow travellers enjoyed my behaviour (well, there was one young lady, but that's a long story... )

I miss those days.
I've also forgotten where I was going with this reply...

Oh well, is it round 23 yet?

That was you! I fantasised about buying a gun and blowing your head off. Small world!

 

[geoffjennings79]

Could of. I could of gone to the game but I didn’t. It’s as bogan as anythink.
In case any don’t know, could’ve is short for could have!

This is definitely the place for such annoyances. There are many grammatically incorrect shaped clouds to yell at.

I've given up worrying about the grammar, spelling, lack of paragraphs, etc in posts.

I still enjoy this though (malapropisms get a good workout on BF too!):

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

 

[GetDimmaBack]

Get over "the learnings", you tools!

Learn the lessons and put them into practice

 

[Next Waiting]

Get over "the learnings", you tools!

Learn the lessons and put them into practice

They're like lemmings with the learnings. It's too much to hope for that they'll follow each other off a cliff.

 

[geoffjennings79]

They're like lemmings with the learnings. It's too much to hope for that they'll follow each other off a cliff.

No one's mentioned lemmings on here since what's-his-name!

 

[GetDimmaBack]

By the way, a split infinitive boldly goes into a bar...

 

[Next Waiting]

No one's mentioned lemmings on here since what's-his-name!

So many clouds, so much yelling.