Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2021

[Fadge]

Lifetime achievement award: Levi Casboult
View attachment 1285702
Pictured: Freedum! From my crippling AFL career

Levi Casboult is a hulking, large man who has alternated his career thus far with playing for Carlton and 'doing his own research'.

A rookie selection in 2010, Carlton were in the final year of their 5 year plan and Levi was looking forward to playing with a host of teammates who didn't quite make it at GWS. Over his career he has shown he can take a solid contested mark and that, as well as being tall and built like an entrant into the 'Miss Geelong' pageant, has meant he has been able to forge a career at Carlton that far outlasted any coach that we can remember.

Levi's career started interestingly enough. He was part of the infamous 'booze cruise' where he was handcuffed to an 'unnamed senior player' and forced to drink until he fell unconscious. After then putting together Carlton's next gameplan, the news hit the media airways and Andrew Walker, Eddie Betts and Ryan Houlihan were suspended.

Levi hasn't always been the best kick during his career, nor handballer, runner, or much else to do with football.
He did finally make his mark on the game, winning Carlton's goalkicking in 2017. It was his finest year, sandwiched between two Bottom 50 entries.
This year Carlton handed Levi 13 games which yielded 8 goals, 6 hit outs on average, only 4 games with 10 or more touches and no finals.
Carlton, believing they now have their bookends sorted, delisted Levi at the end of the year (come back Liam!)

All is not lost for Levi. The Gold Coast Suns, fresh from delisting Hugh Greenwood only to lose him for nothing, clearly know a thing or two about lists and said they will take Levi in the rookie draft. Well, they would but unfortunately he is relying on information from respected international medical researcher Liam Jones and refusing to get jabbed with any currently available vaccine. It's ok though, he has said he 'has faith' that the new unapproved vaccine from the US is perfectly safe unlike the others already in use and he'll be taking that, an act of trust and twisted logic not heard of for about 2021 years:


Levi has recently said he's changed his mind and is willing to get the jab if it meant resurrecting his career at Gold Coast, where his experience at missing finals should prove invaluable. Levi is looking forward to playing under Stewie Dew as he will 'no longer be the heavy one' and finally, for the first time in his career, he'll have someone on the ground at training he's got covered for pace.

Levi - you're a Bay 13 legend. Thank you for you fine contributions and congratulations on joining David MacKay and Gary Rohan in being awarded this lifetime achievement trophy.

Very well deserved.

 

[Elmer_Judd]

I'd much rather Stevo having a decent season in the worst team then being a bit of an idiot (Not hurting anyone) in the offseason than Murphy sooking it up and setting a shocking example at Carlton whilst he was gifted games after games.

Doesn't matter now, Murphy's retired now. You can just imagine Steffi continue to have these sort of these off field **** up's tbh

 

[76woodenspooners]

I'd much rather Stevo having a decent season in the worst team then being a bit of an idiot (Not hurting anyone) in the offseason than Murphy sooking it up and setting a shocking example at Carlton whilst he was gifted games after games.

You could mount a strong case that Murphy was in the worst team over the period of his career.

 

[Starburns_]

Tayla Harris is a good chance.

This is a good suggestion for Moira's "left field" hint.

 

[NSWCROW]

Player #10 - Toby Greene
View attachment 1285019
Pictured: The aftermath of Toby Greene's 'chat' with an umpire

Wait, wut? Superstar small forward and $1m dollar player Toby Greene? He went at 2.5 goals per game and had 17 touches per game to boot! Mofra's crazy!

Quick question: How many touches did Toby Greene get in GWS' only September final in 2021? Hint: Even lifetime achievement award winner Gary Rohan beat Toby Greene's total, and that only took him a half of football.

You see, Toby Greene has all the discipline of Nigella Lawson standing in front of the fridge at 11pm. Now I know that the old-school crowd like that Toby "plays with an edge" but if you are going to get yourself suspended repeatedly and change absolutely nothing about your behaviour, hurting your team's chances of winning games including finals, 'your an id10t'.

A recap. Toby was pick 11 in the 2011 draft. GWS were granted 11 of the first 14 selections and ruined their incredible leg up so badly that even Todd Rixon feels sorry for them:

Above: A more successful leg up than GWS' draft concessions. Better outfit too.

Toby has been an All-Australian twice (2016 and 2021), won the Kevin Sheedy medal in 2016 and was GWS' leading goal kicker in 2017 and 2021. On the occasions he chooses to, he can play football well. He has also amassed 22 AFL Tribunal charges resulting in 6 suspensions and fines totalling over $30k. He famously missed a finals game in 2019 for eye gouging the week after he should have been suspended for eye-gouging - double stupid. Then of course, came 2021.

GWS had just scraped into the finals and were playing the Sydney Swans. Unhappy with an umpiring decision (typical Swans getting a good run with the umps), Toby charged at Matt Stevic and bumped him. Umpire contact is considered a non-no in the AFL (and presumably, Tinder) and making a charge while mouthing off made it even worse. He was suspended for 3 games (missing the next final) and on appeal that suspension was extended to 6 games This meant that not only did Toby miss out on playing Geelong he will miss the first five games of 2022. There's letting your teammates down a bit, then there's the Toby Greene 'angry mouthy idiot' let-down, as shown below:
View attachment 1285027
Pictured: Like GWS in finals, completely coxless

Because there is pretty much nobody else, Toby is considered a leader at GWS. He's one of their more marketable players, and even features on their merchandise. The Toby Greene stamp didn't do so well though as people kept spitting on the wrong side. Every thing else is marked as a choking hazard. The ACCC remain on high alert over potential gouging.

What was that? Why yes, of course he does have an assault conviction among other charges (2014). Let's not mention his dad either (note: Collingwood fans, that's not because he disappeared). Clearly Toby is one of the reasons that crayons come in flavours.

Toby's suspensions are not without controversy. Scott Pendlebury is a Toby Greene supporter, and tweeted that Toby's tribunal appearances meant he cops a 'Toby Tax' when it comes to determining a sentence. The irony of a Collingwood captain advocating for shorter sentence shouldn't be lost. I'm glad Scott has his priorities straight and supports Toby. Too bad he seems to have forgotten his Twitter log on during Collingwood's entire racism saga, or when Treloar was getting shafted by Bucks. Other notable Toby Greene supporters include Harvey Weinstein, Robert Mugabe, Jeffrey Epstein, Kyle Sandilands, Nickelback and the inventor of spam emails.

Fun fact: Toby uses public toilets, and pees on the seat. He walks around in the summertime saying 'how about this heat?'

Anyway, I can write whatever I want here knowing Toby is probably unable to read it. Try not to belt anyone during the off-season and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.

This entry needs to be in the HOF of BF roasts

 

[Chat Pile]

This is a good suggestion for Moira's "left field" hint.

Who's Moira?

 

[Obese Arachnid]

Who's Moira?

 

[William Wonka]

Who's Moira?

R.I.P Bert

 

[masai tu]

You could mount a strong case that Murphy was in the worst team over the period of his career.

Had the chance to go to Brisvegas.

Declined the invitation.

 

[1970crow]

Lifetime achievement award: Levi Casboult
View attachment 1285702
Pictured: Freedum! From my crippling AFL career

Levi Casboult is a hulking, large man who has alternated his career thus far with playing for Carlton and 'doing his own research'.

A rookie selection in 2010, Carlton were in the final year of their 5 year plan and Levi was looking forward to playing with a host of teammates who didn't quite make it at GWS. Over his career he has shown he can take a solid contested mark and that, as well as being tall and built like an entrant into the 'Miss Geelong' pageant, has meant he has been able to forge a career at Carlton that far outlasted any coach that we can remember.

Levi's career started interestingly enough. He was part of the infamous 'booze cruise' where he was handcuffed to an 'unnamed senior player' and forced to drink until he fell unconscious. After then putting together Carlton's next gameplan, the news hit the media airways and Andrew Walker, Eddie Betts and Ryan Houlihan were suspended.

Levi hasn't always been the best kick during his career, nor handballer, runner, or much else to do with football.
He did finally make his mark on the game, winning Carlton's goalkicking in 2017. It was his finest year, sandwiched between two Bottom 50 entries.
This year Carlton handed Levi 13 games which yielded 8 goals, 6 hit outs on average, only 4 games with 10 or more touches and no finals.
Carlton, believing they now have their bookends sorted, delisted Levi at the end of the year (come back Liam!)

All is not lost for Levi. The Gold Coast Suns, fresh from delisting Hugh Greenwood only to lose him for nothing, clearly know a thing or two about lists and said they will take Levi in the rookie draft. Well, they would but unfortunately he is relying on information from respected international medical researcher Liam Jones and refusing to get jabbed with any currently available vaccine. It's ok though, he has said he 'has faith' that the new unapproved vaccine from the US is perfectly safe unlike the others already in use and he'll be taking that, an act of trust and twisted logic not heard of for about 2021 years:


Levi has recently said he's changed his mind and is willing to get the jab if it meant resurrecting his career at Gold Coast, where his experience at missing finals should prove invaluable. Levi is looking forward to playing under Stewie Dew as he will 'no longer be the heavy one' and finally, for the first time in his career, he'll have someone on the ground at training he's got covered for pace.

Levi - you're a Bay 13 legend. Thank you for you fine contributions and congratulations on joining David MacKay and Gary Rohan in being awarded this lifetime achievement trophy.

you had me at David Mackay.

 

[AlecDuncan]

Harsh on Levi. Hobbled around on one leg all year because the club needed him to, when he rightfully should have been concentrating on his onlyfans account.

 

[WillHayward]

Predicting A flashing finish from the outside by JDG to take number 1

Finished 4th in the B & F and his indiscretion was post season. Not entirely convinced he gets in based on that........

Having said, that Collingwood's 2021 best and fairest was horrendous. Utterly horrendous. So 4th might be very very misleading....

Lets have a look shall we:

1. Jack Crisp (90 votes) - Who?

2. Brayden Maynard (70) - BOG average

3. Scott Pendlebury (67) - Cooked ex "Basketball" player from Sale who was probably good in Gippsland playing against small children from coal mining towns. Lasted 3 weeks at the AIS before he realised he was a half foot too short and 90% too s**t to ever make it in basketball.

4. Jordan De Goey (66) - 23 goals from 20 games for a full time fwd. Umm. Shane McAdam has bagged 25 from just 15. Dylan Moore 27 from 20 and I have genuinely never heard of him until I just looked up the list now. How the * does De Goey finish 4th?

5. Steele Sidebottom (59) - atrocious season. Absolutely cooked.

6. Brodie Grundy (57) - Atrocious season.

7. Darcy Moore (54) - played 13 games

=8. Isaac Quaynor (52) - Who?

=8. Jordan Roughead (52) - Hang on what?

9. Chris Mayne (48) - Nuff said...

 

[Laphroaig]

Probably too late for Carlton and Collingwood though, they are over-represented. have got lots of sh!t-trucks.

And yet Carlton beat Fremantle comfortably twice, by a total of 61 points.

Glass houses, pot kettle etc.

 

[Fadge]

And yet Carlton beat Fremantle comfortably twice, by a total of 61 points.

Glass houses, pot kettle etc.

That's awesome for Carlton.

 

[76woodenspooners]

1. Jack Crisp (90 votes) - Who?

You need to follow AFL more. He’s the bloke who currently has played the most consecutive games (currently 173).

The commentators mention that more than Pendlebury’s Basketball background.

2. Brayden Maynard (70) - BOG average

Now you’re just being silly.

3. Scott Pendlebury (67) - Cooked ex "Basketball" player from Sale who was probably good in Gippsland playing against small children from coal mining towns. Lasted 3 weeks at the AIS before he realised he was a whole foot too short and 90% too sh*t to ever make it in basketball.

Sigh. You would have had more cred pointing out that he came 3rd despite missing 4 games. And he had to haggle for a contract extension.

4. Jordan De Goey (66) - 23 goals from 20 games for a full time fwd. Umm. Shane McAdam has bagged 25 from just 15. Dylan Moore 27 from 20 and I have genuinely never heard of him until I just looked up the list now. How the fu** does De Goey finish 4th?

DeGoey wasn’t a full time forward?

5. Steele Sidebottom (59) - atrocious season. Absolutely cooked.

True

6. Brodie Grundy (57) - Atrocious season.

True

7. Darcy Moore (54) - played 13 games

True

=8. Isaac Quaynor (52) - Who?

Look out for that name, you’ll be seeing more of it.

=8. Jordan Roughead (52) - Hang on what?

Yeah, point.

9. Chris Mayne (48) - Nuff said...

Can’t reasonably expect the nine debutants and the handful of other assorted sub-10 game players to challenge these guys?

But your point was that 4th in the B&F isn’t saying much, and that’s fair

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I am really enjoying this thread and hope my descendants will live long enough to see its conclusion.

A mate ran data analysis for the juvy justice system a couple of decades ago in a particular State. He was bored one day. So what did he do? He analysed the most common first names of young offenders. Dwayne (admittedly with other highly inventive spellings devised by their proud folks) was the clear winner.

Personally I have always been delighted Rampe's folks had the great sense to economise on letters in his first name.

New decades and different trends. Have no idea about the most popular name these days is among aspiring young crims. But I am curious about first names that seem to consign players to dud careers and the risk of being consigned to Mofra's list.

I reckon the name Brayden is not uncommon on the lists of the 18 footy tribes. Stats wise seems a greater probability of the name appearing on lists of duds. Brayden Shaw may have been the first.

Has there been a better than bog average Brayden (don't give me Maynard ya wee Pie kids)? Like Dwayne, Brayden is apparently difficult to spell and many proud new parents experience understandable difficulties registering the name. Think Sier, Fiorini, Preuss, Ham, Crossley amng current/recent players cursed with the name.

Alas my own mob is represented with a near thing in Brandon (is that really a name?) Jack. Famously played 28 games for my mob (and 28 more than me) and is now a wonderful writer and top bloke.

We also have Braeden Campbell entering his second year. Even worse than a misspell, Braeden is Irish gaelic and not Scottish. Campbell of course is as Scottish as haggis or burning a McDonald on a lead (oh). I fear for the lad's future in the game.

 

[76woodenspooners]

Has there been a better than bog average Brayden (don't give me Maynard ya wee Pie kids)?

Brayden Sier (14th in this year’s Mofra bottom 50) supports your hypothesis.

Brayden Maynard does not.

 

[Mofra]

There was a lesser Rocca brother called Brayden, and the rules committee meet every year under the code-name "Project Brayden"

 

[Elmer_Judd]

Brayden Sier (14th in this year’s Mofra bottom 50) supports your hypothesis.

Brayden Maynard does not.

Wasn't Tony Shaw's dud of a son also called Brayden ?

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Before Mofra finally completes his modern day Sisyphean task of pushing 50 s**t trucks up the hill, I confess to a secret fear. This is his left field nomination will be from the Swans - a fallen midfield star who has fallen on the hard times of Nic Nat tog, is chasing the 300 and has forced yet another good mid from the Club

Otherwise it will be poor old Matt Stevic who endured a tough and ultimately unsatisfying campaignery Finals campaign for Footscray.

 

[76woodenspooners]

Wasn't Tony Shaw's dud of a son also called Brayden ?

Already mentioned

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Five of the top 40 are named Sam. Why would parents name their kid Sam if they going to play footy?

It consigns them to a footy career of groans from one's own fans and hoots of derision from the Oppo. This follows recruiters. People cruelly point and laugh at SOS for umpteen reasons for many of his trade and drafting decisions but they totally lose it Sam 'PS' - I can't play.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Who's Moira?

The former Ms Mofra. She's gone on to bigger and better things

 

[76woodenspooners]

The former Ms Mofra. She's gone on to bigger and better things

No need to gloat now!

 

[MC Bad Genius]

Before Mofra finally completes his modern day Sisyphean task of pushing 50 sh*t trucks up the hill, I confess to a secret fear. This is his left field nomination will be from the Swans - a fallen midfield star who has fallen on the hard times of Nic Nat tog, is chasing the 300 and has forced yet another good mid from the Club

Otherwise it will be poor old Matt Stevic who endured a tough and ultimately unsatisfying campaignery Finals campaign for Footscray.

Are you still banging on about JPK?