Thanks for the update. I'm a lawyer and used to work in that area for a bit. Also I've been divorced. Bloody nightmare times.
Sounds like you are on the up though.
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Sounds like you are on the up though.
laverton_nuffy
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Yeah past the worst of it thankfully
Absolutely horrible s**t divorce when it gets ugly I’ve heard some horror stories from blokes who’ve had similar stories
It would have been cheaper to stay married and be unhappy than be divorced lol
Not good on the financials.
On the upside I can watch a lot of footy.
I try and keep myself distracted
laverton_nuffy
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A guy I met working on the same building site went through a divorce
Same thing happened to him gets an Ivo taken out against him
He fought it and it got knocked back he goes you’ve gotta fight back they’re relying on you just rolling over
I didn’t turn up for mine thinking it shows I’m not a threat just wanted to be left alone
But I learnt if you don’t turn up it’s automatic
laverton_nuffy
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I’ve got this mate i used to work with
His dad died recently and it hit him super hard because he dad was abusive when he was a kid I’m not sure if he regrets not making up before he died or that he’s still angry about what happened… im Not sure I’ve never actually asked him
Anyway he’s been really ****ed up since and I’ve always kept in contact with him just send him msgs see how he’s doing and took him out for dinner a few times just to take his mind off things… he’s barely working not able to and he’s nocturnal
Lately he’s stopped replying to my msgs so the other. Night I went over to his house to check on him make sure he hasn’t done anything drastic
He was alive but in the mean time his mrs had also left him which he didn’t want to talk about so I didn’t push it. I couldn’t think but help she had enough of trying to help him and he can’t get out of the hole he’s in
One thing I’ve learnt through all my s**t recently is isolating yourself is just about the worst thing you can do
He wa really apologetic for not answering my msgs n stuff and I said nah man nothing to apologise for at all I do get it…. But if I’ve learnt anything from My last two years of s**t it’s that talking is helpful
He said he’s had other people msging him to see if he’s ok but I’ve been the only person that’s actually gone out of their way to make sure he’s still alive
His dad died recently and it hit him super hard because he dad was abusive when he was a kid I’m not sure if he regrets not making up before he died or that he’s still angry about what happened… im Not sure I’ve never actually asked him
Anyway he’s been really ****ed up since and I’ve always kept in contact with him just send him msgs see how he’s doing and took him out for dinner a few times just to take his mind off things… he’s barely working not able to and he’s nocturnal
Lately he’s stopped replying to my msgs so the other. Night I went over to his house to check on him make sure he hasn’t done anything drastic
He was alive but in the mean time his mrs had also left him which he didn’t want to talk about so I didn’t push it. I couldn’t think but help she had enough of trying to help him and he can’t get out of the hole he’s in
One thing I’ve learnt through all my s**t recently is isolating yourself is just about the worst thing you can do
He wa really apologetic for not answering my msgs n stuff and I said nah man nothing to apologise for at all I do get it…. But if I’ve learnt anything from My last two years of s**t it’s that talking is helpful
He said he’s had other people msging him to see if he’s ok but I’ve been the only person that’s actually gone out of their way to make sure he’s still alive
Yeah absolutely. They definitely rely on you not showing up and they can make up anything and put that on the form.
What generally happens is a family lawyer will tell the female to take out an ivo because if they get it, it will help them in any future dispute over money or kids.
This is because they can point to it and say the avo is "evidence" of DV.
Even when the IVO is just a form filled out full of lies and uncontested.
So always best to go along and have it heard properly.
Been avoiding these parts on purpose..Dont know what to say
But couldnt walk past without saying - Look after yourself mate
Thank you so much for the response. Really helpful.
Honestly, I’ve been up and down. I internalise things so much that I really question myself. Play with my kids and I think to me During the process should I be happy. It intrusive thoughts I know. I groan at myself and shrug it off.
Lately have been a drag. The heavy chest, the tiredness. The weight of being responsible. It’s a lot. I have been thinking pretty dark but good at hiding it from family.
I’ve been cut off, well I think, from my family as I respect and love my wife and kids, that’s my priority. It’s hard to balance both. I see myself as a very nice guy, and that’s not a good thing I find.
Anyway, thank you so much on checking it. One day at a time I guess.
Take care mate and just 1 more thing i like to say dont fall into the trap of internalising and seek a friend and family and let things out and talk about things. It really doe help getting things out and talking
Again take care please
It's weird how one negative thought can cause a spiral (one leading to many others and a never ending process of trying to block those thoughts out).
I have good days
Then I can have one small thing trip me up and it leads to a lot of negativity.
Even though I'm seen as a laughing stock here (self inflicted by carrying my Bay 13 persona on to other parts of BF) I'm still a person at the end of the day as is everyone else here.
My thoughts are jumbled (lack of sleep), ultimately I wish nothing but the best for everyone here and I hope you all navigate the down periods you are having, and come out the other side stronger.
I have good days
Then I can have one small thing trip me up and it leads to a lot of negativity.
Even though I'm seen as a laughing stock here (self inflicted by carrying my Bay 13 persona on to other parts of BF) I'm still a person at the end of the day as is everyone else here.
My thoughts are jumbled (lack of sleep), ultimately I wish nothing but the best for everyone here and I hope you all navigate the down periods you are having, and come out the other side stronger.
by and large my mental health has been much better for the past 6 months.
s**t with my ex wife periodically blows up but I feel like I handle it much better and even now after she has basically dropped a bombshell recently and said she is moving to Sydney and leaving the kids with me more or less full time but wants to refuse to pay child support (she earns three times what I do) and instead wants to pay a token amount and even then wants to tell me how to spend it, I’ve been fairly evenly balanced about it and handled it well.
My current partner is very emotionally up and down and I think I’ve handled it well even though we hardly see each other and the relationship is usually on her terms and because of a number of factors - namely her ex’s refusal to take any responsibility for one of their children - I just go with the flow and cop whatever heat comes my way.
I keep working my job, studying my uni course, working my second job singing on weekends and have added a third part time job just making a little bit of extra cash doing trivia at a local pub on a Thursday. It’s not much but every bit helps.
Anyway my son recently turned 16 and I was so proud of him getting his L’s - he’s a bit different and not very ‘blokey’ but he has a girlfriend and he’s growing up so I wanted to take responsibility for him and teach him to drive in my Ute.
Last Friday I took him for his third lesson. He was doing really well but we got to an intersection right on the edge of town and he overshot it a bit as he was turning and got into the wrong side of the road, and with traffic coming towards us I tried to steer us back to the correct side of the road. He thought his foot was on the brake but it was on the throttle and he floored it and ended up ploughing the car straight into someone’s house.
I thought we were going to die or maybe kill some one inside. In reality we maybe were only going about 30-35km/h when we hit.
But the thing was that after not driving for 18 months due to epilepsy before recently getting the car back on the road, it cost me so much to do it ($3000) that I hadn’t even insured it.
I’m looking at god knows how much to pay the damage. Could be $20k, could be $50k. Who knows. On top of that my partner and I had a fight on Monday about, of all things, me calling a player from her footy team overrated 12 months ago - I don’t even remember doing it let alone understanding why it would even matter especially considering I think he’s a gun now.
I’ve spent the week going to bed at 8pm doing nothing but worrying wtf I’m going to do for the next 5-10 years as I haven’t got a saved cent to my name. I rarely have an issue getting by but I live week to week.
I feel like my life is just one hurdle after another and I am never ever going to get clear of all the s**t
s**t with my ex wife periodically blows up but I feel like I handle it much better and even now after she has basically dropped a bombshell recently and said she is moving to Sydney and leaving the kids with me more or less full time but wants to refuse to pay child support (she earns three times what I do) and instead wants to pay a token amount and even then wants to tell me how to spend it, I’ve been fairly evenly balanced about it and handled it well.
My current partner is very emotionally up and down and I think I’ve handled it well even though we hardly see each other and the relationship is usually on her terms and because of a number of factors - namely her ex’s refusal to take any responsibility for one of their children - I just go with the flow and cop whatever heat comes my way.
I keep working my job, studying my uni course, working my second job singing on weekends and have added a third part time job just making a little bit of extra cash doing trivia at a local pub on a Thursday. It’s not much but every bit helps.
Anyway my son recently turned 16 and I was so proud of him getting his L’s - he’s a bit different and not very ‘blokey’ but he has a girlfriend and he’s growing up so I wanted to take responsibility for him and teach him to drive in my Ute.
Last Friday I took him for his third lesson. He was doing really well but we got to an intersection right on the edge of town and he overshot it a bit as he was turning and got into the wrong side of the road, and with traffic coming towards us I tried to steer us back to the correct side of the road. He thought his foot was on the brake but it was on the throttle and he floored it and ended up ploughing the car straight into someone’s house.
I thought we were going to die or maybe kill some one inside. In reality we maybe were only going about 30-35km/h when we hit.
But the thing was that after not driving for 18 months due to epilepsy before recently getting the car back on the road, it cost me so much to do it ($3000) that I hadn’t even insured it.
I’m looking at god knows how much to pay the damage. Could be $20k, could be $50k. Who knows. On top of that my partner and I had a fight on Monday about, of all things, me calling a player from her footy team overrated 12 months ago - I don’t even remember doing it let alone understanding why it would even matter especially considering I think he’s a gun now.
I’ve spent the week going to bed at 8pm doing nothing but worrying wtf I’m going to do for the next 5-10 years as I haven’t got a saved cent to my name. I rarely have an issue getting by but I live week to week.
I feel like my life is just one hurdle after another and I am never ever going to get clear of all the s**t
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