Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition

[Mofra]

Player 23 - Clay Smith


Pictured: That incredible moment when there are two players in a photo and Libba isn't the crazy one

Ok bay, I'll admit it. This hurts. Clay Smith has endured three knee recos and was a prelim hero last year kicking 4 goals in a half against GWS.
This year his form was, basically, old man testicles. Once held in high regard as an essential part of ultimate glory, he has dropped enough to be left swinging in the breeze on multiple occasions. Let me explain.

Starting his year in round 4 after being an emergency the week prior, he did start showing urgency and effort laying 15 tackles against North Melbourne. A decent game against the Lions followed before he went and played 4 top 8 sides in a row. In one of those games he was excellent, kicking 4 against Richmond who were only really that good when it absolutely mattered anyway - and in this game, 5 of his 15 disposals were clangers which meant anyone within kicking distance were within his Field of Danger... if only there was another was to phrase that.
Clay wasn't great in the other games and was injured at the end of them which saved him from being dropped this time.

He would then only feature in two more games for the year, in round 16 and 20 where he was swiftly dropped both times. From the highs of last September to playing VFL in a side that missed the finals, Clay's season was a bigger disappointment than the organized people who ordered the Louis CK box set last month for Christmas.

The major culprit here seems to be a pre-season training schedule that was a little less 'train the house down' than it was 'Amy Winehouse it up'. When the bouncers at Revolver not only know your name but expect you then perhaps you're not starting the AFL year in the best possible shape:


Pictured: The Bulldogs pre-season

On top of this, Clay Smith's kicking action is arguably the ugliest in the AFL. It's somehow effective when kicking for goal but it really is a lot like hooking up at 3am Revolver - you might get the job done but you certainly don't want to watch a replay of the action.
His post-season seems to have taken a more benign turn at least, with Clay getting married and honeymooning in Mexico which really is only a worry for Essendon players sourcing 'vitamins'.

Anyway I'm sure 2018 will be better than 2017. Clay, welcome to the Bottom 50.

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Clay- you simply porked it up after winning a flag, gutflop style.

2016 PF:

2017:

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Bloody dogs! Hogging the limelight.

 

[Tbonefreo]

Looks like stringer

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

With the money he is getting surely he can fix his teeth.

 

[Art Corvelay]

With the money he is getting surely he can fix his teeth.

Not everyone in the Bulldogs VFL team is paid millions.

 

[Starburns_]

Lots of Dogs players so far, reckon that has to be it* for the entire count...






*Stringer is an Essendon player

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Player 23 - Clay Smith


Pictured: That incredible moment when there are two players in a photo and Libba isn't the crazy one

Ok bay, I'll admit it. This hurts. Clay Smith has endured three knee recos and was a prelim hero last year kicking 4 goals in a half against GWS.
This year his form was, basically, old man testicles. Once held in high regard as an essential part of ultimate glory, he has dropped enough to be left swinging in the breeze on multiple occasions. Let me explain.

Starting his year in round 4 after being an emergency the week prior, he did start showing urgency and effort laying 15 tackles against North Melbourne. A decent game against the Lions followed before he went and played 4 top 8 sides in a row. In one of those games he was excellent, kicking 4 against Richmond who were only really that good when it absolutely mattered anyway - and in this game, 5 of his 15 disposals were clangers which meant anyone within kicking distance were within his Field of Danger... if only there was another was to phrase that.
Clay wasn't great in the other games and was injured at the end of them which saved him from being dropped this time.

He would then only feature in two more games for the year, in round 16 and 20 where he was swiftly dropped both times. From the highs of last September to playing VFL in a side that missed the finals, Clay's season was a bigger disappointment than the organized people who ordered the Louis CK box set last month for Christmas.

The major culprit here seems to be a pre-season training schedule that was a little less 'train the house down' than it was 'Amy Winehouse it up'. When the bouncers at Revolver not only know your name but expect you then perhaps you're not starting the AFL year in the best possible shape:


Pictured: The Bulldogs pre-season

On top of this, Clay Smith's kicking action is arguably the ugliest in the AFL. It's somehow effective when kicking for goal but it really is a lot like hooking up at 3am Revolver - you might get the job done but you certainly don't want to watch a replay of the action.
His post-season seems to have taken a more benign turn at least, with Clay getting married and honeymooning in Mexico which really is only a worry for Essendon players sourcing 'vitamins'.

Anyway I'm sure 2018 will be better than 2017. Clay, welcome to the Bottom 50.

I'd like to know what ManOfClay thinks about this.

 

[hufus]

The reasoning is sound but I still can't quite bring myself to like the post.

 

[hawkman]

With all the Bulldogs being named it seems like Mofra is just using the bottom 50 to release his anger about the Dogs season

Needs more of other clubs players to bring in the melts

 

[BrisDog]

Clay got fat and s**t real quick. I count at least 4 more doggies in the last 23. Mofra, do you feel good or bad giving Plugger35 regular erections?

 

[SaintsSeptember]

With all the Bulldogs being named it seems like Mofra is just using the bottom 50 to release his anger about the Dogs season

Needs more of other clubs players to bring in the melts

Suban not a dog, but so obvious that melts were never going to happen.

 

[Bemoreboyddog]

Not everyone in the Bulldogs VFL team is paid millions.

Sharp. I like it.

 

[ManOfClay]

I'd like to know what ManOfClay thinks about this.

Pre beer gut dominate GWS in a prelim Clay = great.

2017 Clay = ffs

 

[HumanMeatball]

Player 23 - Clay Smith




Pictured: The Bulldogs pre-season

On top of this, Clay Smith's kicking action is arguably the ugliest in the AFL. It's somehow effective when kicking for goal but it really is a lot like hooking up at 3am Revolver - you might get the job done but you certainly don't want to watch a replay of the action.

.

Don’t agree some of those trashy chicks are ******* hot

 

[El Dubya]

Don’t agree some of those trashy chicks are ******* hot

Yeah, I did alright at Revs back in the day. At least I think I did.

 

[DanWA]

All these Doggies players are just Canon Fodder to intentionally leave out Tom Boyd like the sham 2016 bottom 50/flag*

 

[SaintsSeptember]

All these Doggies players are just Canon Fodder to intentionally leave out Tom Boyd like the sham 2016 bottom 50/flag*

Hmmm lets just say a player with a similar role, is already included.
That other player played less than half the games Boyd did, but only kicked 2 less goals.
That other player never had a game with less than 6 disposals.

If he's not in, i'm going to join the chorus of melts.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Suban not a dog

Beg to differ.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Pretty sure that McCartin hasn't been included (yet).

Really?? ..... damn it. He's not doing his job then. That's it he doesn't get his $600 000 pay rise!!!.

 

[Mofra]

Player 22 - Tom Hickey


Pictured: These aren't spirit fingers... THESE are spirit fingers

Tom Hickey is the 'bad hair day' of the AFL. Every single picture of Tom proves his bathroom mirror finishes at about 178cms and he's just guessed the rest:

Pictured: Perhaps choosing Jake Carlisle as a mentor was a mistake

Tom Hickey was a Queensland zone selection for Gold Coast in 2010 which was like a pre-draft-draft for the Suns, so they are basically the toolies of the AFL. He is a 201cm ruckman who the Saints traded for, giving up... pick 13? Jesus that's a bad trade.

So rolling into this year, he was battling with Billy Longer which is a fellow Saints ruckman and not an exclamation from a weird Japanese gameshow.
Hickey was selected in round 1 and was absolutely destroyed by Max Gawn's beard, while Max Gawn played a solid supporting role.

Then round 2 occurred giving hopes to "tall guys who look like excited puppies with bad hair" everywhere:

Pictured: Seriously Tom, WTF? LOOK AT YOUR HEAD!!!!

West Coast had their first 37 ruck choices out so they threw in a cooked ex-Norf KPF to ruck for them, with predictable results. Round 3 he was against smashed, ditto round 4 (sense a pattern?)


Pictured: Speaking of patterns ARE YOU JUST TAKING THE PISS NOW?

He was "rested" before being dropped which I'm not sure is letting him down gently or giving him a harsh landing. Either way, someone should do the same to his hair stylist:


Pictured: He went the full Vickery. You never go the full Vickery

Hickey did make it back for one game. Round 17 against Essendon which Essendon won, because it wasn't a final. SEN gave him a 1 out of 10 where, checking the stats, he was beaten in every category by anyone who remotely resembles an opponent that day. He had zero marks, something only one Essendon player managed that day (the 178cm Green - the player, not the herb).

Tom, you battled hard but in the end you are now behind Longer at the Saints and... oh c'mon man, seriously?


Pictured: "I give up" - Hickey's barber.

I'm outta here. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017 Tom.

 

[HumanMeatball]

Player 22 - Tom Hickey


Pictured: These aren't spirit fingers... THESE are spirit fingers

Tom Hickey is the 'bad hair day' of the AFL. Every single picture of Tom proves his bathroom mirror finishes at about 178cms and he's just guessed the rest:

Pictured: Perhaps choosing Jake Carlisle as a mentor was a mistake

Tom Hickey was a Queensland zone selection for Gold Coast in 2010 which was like a pre-draft-draft for the Suns, so they are basically the toolies of the AFL. He is a 201cm ruckman who the Saints traded for, giving up... pick 13? Jesus that's a bad trade.

So rolling into this year, he was battling with Billy Longer which is a fellow Saints ruckman and not an exclamation from a weird Japanese gameshow.
Hickey was selected in round 1 and was absolutely destroyed by Max Gawn's beard, while Max Gawn played a solid supporting role.

Then round 2 occurred giving hopes to "tall guys who look like excited puppies with bad hair" everywhere:

Pictured: Seriously Tom, WTF? LOOK AT YOUR HEAD!!!!

West Coast had their first 37 ruck choices out so they threw in a cooked ex-Norf KPF to ruck for them, with predictable results. Round 3 he was against smashed, ditto round 4 (sense a pattern?)


Pictured: Speaking of patterns ARE YOU JUST TAKING THE PISS NOW?

He was "rested" before being dropped which I'm not sure is letting him down gently or giving him a harsh landing. Either way, someone should do the same to his hair stylist:


Pictured: He went the full Vickery. You never go the full Vickery

Hickey did make it back for one game. Round 17 against Essendon which Essendon won, because it wasn't a final. SEN gave him a 1 out of 10 where, checking the stats, he was beaten in every category by anyone who remotely resembles an opponent that day. He had zero marks, something only one Essendon player managed that day (the 178cm Green - the player, not the herb).

Tom, you battled hard but in the end you are now behind Longer at the Saints and... oh c'mon man, seriously?


Pictured: "I give up" - Hickey's barber.

I'm outta here. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017 Tom.

Wat a head

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Wow, wasn't expecting Hickey so early - surely he was bottom 10 material.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

You have to remember that at the time we picked up Hickey, the AFL were leaning towards rules that handed the ball to any tall guys named Tom.
But yeah.... the trade..... and it wasn't even the worst trade that year.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Wow, wasn't expecting Hickey so early - surely he was bottom 10 material.

That haircut should have pushed him lower surely.