Unsolved Murder of teacher Lilie James at St Andrews school - Sydney CBD

[MC Extra Dollop]

It says he was flirty with young students in his capacity as a staff member at the school. I would say that is incredibly disturbing behaviour

Might be splitting hairs, but it says he had "a flirtatious personality". I'd probably be asking for a few examples if I was the reporter.

If there was a pattern of demonstrated behaviour and examples then - as you've said - it demonstrates how vitally important it is to speak up and report it.

 

[BFew]

https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/truecrimeaustralia/police-courts-nsw/lilie-james-murder-police-can-account-for-the-actions-of-james-thijssen-for-all-but-two-hours/news-story/b3acc014d84546963c8a1be576d7c3bd

'The school confirmed to the Saturday Telegraph on Friday the[y] knew of the relationship after both staff members had made them aware. They said relationships were allowed between staff members providing they followed protocol and notified the school.'

 

[Shell]

My ex principal became aware of a relationship (the female staff member herself told me this story) he called in her bf and told him to break it off. He basically laughed at this request. They're now married with two children.

And fwiw I knew they were dating it was common knowledge. But you hardly ever saw them ever together, it's pretty easy to keep everything professional at work.

 

[Shell]

*for normal people that is

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Frankly, I'd suggest a decent media outlet would just ease up a bit on contacting shocked, traumatised students and trawling social media for clues. They talk about him boasting about his relationship, but nothing further (unless I missed it). To be honest, if that's the best evidence of disturbing behaviour that they have, I'd suggest that no-one had any concerns about his behaviour, just that some people considered him arrogant. Show me a sports captain at a school and I'll show you a person that some at the school think is a bit of a tosser. I can pretty much guarantee that if he was sports captain, it's pretty unlikely that "All the boys hated him."

But this is where your message is extremely important: if I had to bet, on the information that's been presented, I think he was probably considered to be pretty normal, no previous concerns about him. A bit cocky, so he probably rubbed a few people the wrong way, but nothing more than that.

And that's the point where the message turns to: what is it going to take for all young men (in particular) to learn to take 'no' for an answer and move the f*** on? Like, you're not the star of the movie who gets the girl in the end if he just keeps trying. She's not keen on you, move on. That's life.

I can’t buy he was just a normal person who got rejected and couldn’t handle it.

Beating another person to death with a hammer is the work of a seriously disturbed human being.

Obviously I don’t know, but I’d be staggered if there weren’t some clues to this in his background.

Somebody like this needs to be studied in-depth like the piece of scum bacteria that he was.

 

[HairyO]

This. And the consequences in Australia for murder are not even that bad. Would of had free rent and food and no bills and been free in 15 years with good behaviour and the age of 36.

Taking someones life isn't considered a serious offence in Australia by the courts, neither is bashing someone. But watch out if you don't wear a seatbelt, drink alcohol on a beach or get caught with powder or pills.

Exactly. Stealing from rich people is the biggest crime in Australia. Rich people stealing is ok though.

Because it is their legal system.

 

[Golden_6]

It says he was flirty with young students in his capacity as a staff member at the school. I would say that is incredibly disturbing behaviour

You wouldn’t believe how common this is amongst teachers unfortunately. At my old school when I was a student (Catholic semi-private), two young male teachers were sacked because they slept with two recently graduated 18 year olds in the summer after they finished school.

 

[MC Extra Dollop]

I can’t buy he was just a normal person who got rejected and couldn’t handle it.

Beating another person to death with a hammer is the work of a seriously disturbed human being.

Obviously I don’t know, but I’d be staggered if there weren’t some clues to this in his background.

Somebody like this needs to be studied in-depth like the piece of scum bacteria that he was.

Maybe. It's been a relatively blank slate that the media outlets have turned up so far and I've got to believe they've been trying their damndest and almost as sure that if anyone from the school had witnessed or experienced seriously troubling behaviour from him (when he was at school there, when he was a staff member, or a parent), we'd have probably heard about it in detail by now.

It reminds me of this ad I saw Norwich City put out for World Mental Health Day.



Like, it's one thing to act on if there are seriously concerning signs, but how can this sort of violence from men against women (which is an epidemic) be prevented, if we don't see any obvious warning signs? And the clear answer to me would be to drum into boys and girls from adolescence that harassment isn't okay, it's not normal, no-one should have to put up with harassment and that there are support networks and actions you can take if you are being harassed.

The #metoo movement has created a significant shift in how a lot of people think about male/female interactions, dating, flirting, the whole dynamic, but it clearly hasn't changed enough men's behaviour. It's a pretty steep learning curve. I come from an era where a mainstream comedian like Chris Rock would do routines where he'd say that the only kind of sexual harassment that exists is if a boss says to an employee 'sleep with me, or your fired', everything else comes under 'just trying to get laid'. And I think that at the time, basically me and most of my peers would have said that basically that was true. So there's a fair bit of ground to make up in how teenage and young adult male and females interact with each other in general, in my opinion and not just the extreme cases, if we're going to be serious about addressing this problem.

 

[craffles]

Are there any resources where we can see the countries with the least violence against women from men and try to understand what it makes it so?

 

[BonzaRam]

So there's a fair bit of ground to make up in how teenage and young adult male and females interact with each other in general, in my opinion and not just the extreme cases, if we're going to be serious about addressing this problem.

The "Healthy Masculinities Project" has just received funding to address this part of the problem. This will only be of benefit to future generations though.

Helping young men to have healthy, respectful relationships | Department of Social Services Ministers

ministers.dss.gov.au

We are still left with the now and the only way I can see to minimize the dangers women face when wanting to get out of a relationship is by having someone else with them as support and protection when they do it. It is sad that they should have to do that to start with but i do believe it is better to be safe than sorry.

With programs like the "Healthy Masculinities Project" coming into being now perhaps such necessities won't be as needed a few generations from now.

 

[BFew]

I suspect clues to what made Lilie Jame's killer Tik and Tok will be found in his digital footprint and digital consumption data.

How much effort will go into looking into this, with him being declared dead, and so much evidence having been found of the actual murder?

 

[Percel]

Maybe. It's been a relatively blank slate that the media outlets have turned up so far and I've got to believe they've been trying their damndest and almost as sure that if anyone from the school had witnessed or experienced seriously troubling behaviour from him (when he was at school there, when he was a staff member, or a parent), we'd have probably heard about it in detail by now.

It reminds me of this ad I saw Norwich City put out for World Mental Health Day.



Like, it's one thing to act on if there are seriously concerning signs, but how can this sort of violence from men against women (which is an epidemic) be prevented, if we don't see any obvious warning signs? And the clear answer to me would be to drum into boys and girls from adolescence that harassment isn't okay, it's not normal, no-one should have to put up with harassment and that there are support networks and actions you can take if you are being harassed.

The #metoo movement has created a significant shift in how a lot of people think about male/female interactions, dating, flirting, the whole dynamic, but it clearly hasn't changed enough men's behaviour. It's a pretty steep learning curve. I come from an era where a mainstream comedian like Chris Rock would do routines where he'd say that the only kind of sexual harassment that exists is if a boss says to an employee 'sleep with me, or your fired', everything else comes under 'just trying to get laid'. And I think that at the time, basically me and most of my peers would have said that basically that was true. So there's a fair bit of ground to make up in how teenage and young adult male and females interact with each other in general, in my opinion and not just the extreme cases, if we're going to be serious about addressing this problem.

That ad is amazing

 

[BomberManU]

Maybe. It's been a relatively blank slate that the media outlets have turned up so far and I've got to believe they've been trying their damndest and almost as sure that if anyone from the school had witnessed or experienced seriously troubling behaviour from him (when he was at school there, when he was a staff member, or a parent), we'd have probably heard about it in detail by now.

It reminds me of this ad I saw Norwich City put out for World Mental Health Day.



Like, it's one thing to act on if there are seriously concerning signs, but how can this sort of violence from men against women (which is an epidemic) be prevented, if we don't see any obvious warning signs? And the clear answer to me would be to drum into boys and girls from adolescence that harassment isn't okay, it's not normal, no-one should have to put up with harassment and that there are support networks and actions you can take if you are being harassed.

The #metoo movement has created a significant shift in how a lot of people think about male/female interactions, dating, flirting, the whole dynamic, but it clearly hasn't changed enough men's behaviour. It's a pretty steep learning curve. I come from an era where a mainstream comedian like Chris Rock would do routines where he'd say that the only kind of sexual harassment that exists is if a boss says to an employee 'sleep with me, or your fired', everything else comes under 'just trying to get laid'. And I think that at the time, basically me and most of my peers would have said that basically that was true. So there's a fair bit of ground to make up in how teenage and young adult male and females interact with each other in general, in my opinion and not just the extreme cases, if we're going to be serious about addressing this problem.

Oh, that ad is fantastic.

 

[BonzaRam]

Are there any resources where we can see the countries with the least violence against women from men and try to understand what it makes it so?

Here are a couple of sites I found on the subject.

The 10 Best and Worst Countries to Be a Woman in 2021

Stalled gender equality progress globally can be traced to the COVID-19 pandemic.

www.globalcitizen.org

Most Dangerous Countries for Women 2024

Country Metrics: Crime Safety

 

[Shell]

Wow we are not even in the top 10. That is actually pathetic.

 

[Shell]

Ok we are 11.


*personally I don't feel that safe tbh. That could just be a "me" thing but that's how I feel unfortunately.

 

[jason_recliner]

It says he was flirty with young students in his capacity as a staff member at the school. I would say that is incredibly disturbing behaviour

Disturbing and disgusting. If any teachers were "flirty" with my daughter...

 

[Shell]

Geeze USA 37. Hang your head in shame US..

Just looking deeper into the data.. "Women's perception of community safety" which is at 54% for us.

Singapore has 94%. which is the highest. I have been told this before Singapore is quite safe, iirc.

 

[jason_recliner]

Ok we are 11.


*personally I don't feel that safe tbh. That could just be a "me" thing but that's how I feel unfortunately.

It's extremely concerning that even with the domestic violence epidemic and the problems in regional northern Australia we still come in at 11. The world has a LOOOOOOONG way to go.

 

[Shell]

It's extremely concerning that even with the domestic violence epidemic and the problems in regional northern Australia we still come in at 11. The world has a LOOOOOOONG way to go.

I agree.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Maybe. It's been a relatively blank slate that the media outlets have turned up so far and I've got to believe they've been trying their damndest and almost as sure that if anyone from the school had witnessed or experienced seriously troubling behaviour from him (when he was at school there, when he was a staff member, or a parent), we'd have probably heard about it in detail by now.

It reminds me of this ad I saw Norwich City put out for World Mental Health Day.



Like, it's one thing to act on if there are seriously concerning signs, but how can this sort of violence from men against women (which is an epidemic) be prevented, if we don't see any obvious warning signs? And the clear answer to me would be to drum into boys and girls from adolescence that harassment isn't okay, it's not normal, no-one should have to put up with harassment and that there are support networks and actions you can take if you are being harassed.

The #metoo movement has created a significant shift in how a lot of people think about male/female interactions, dating, flirting, the whole dynamic, but it clearly hasn't changed enough men's behaviour. It's a pretty steep learning curve. I come from an era where a mainstream comedian like Chris Rock would do routines where he'd say that the only kind of sexual harassment that exists is if a boss says to an employee 'sleep with me, or your fired', everything else comes under 'just trying to get laid'. And I think that at the time, basically me and most of my peers would have said that basically that was true. So there's a fair bit of ground to make up in how teenage and young adult male and females interact with each other in general, in my opinion and not just the extreme cases, if we're going to be serious about addressing this problem.

The media won’t necessarily know. It’ll lie deeper, I think. He needs to be seriously studied, the way serial killers are studied and profiled. Of course, he being dead makes it much more difficult. Another problem with the piece of s**t taking the easy way out.

I can’t believe that a totally “normal” person, with a normal upbringing and without having run into seriously problematic influences, can be capable of beating somebody to death with a hammer.

There’s no harm whatsoever in the respect toward women movement, and I’m sure plenty of good will come of it. But I’m not sure it will capture and explain this level of utterly deranged violence.

 

[Shell]

The media won’t necessarily know. It’ll lie deeper, I think. He needs to be seriously studied, the way serial killers are studied and profiled. Of course, he being dead makes it much more difficult. Another problem with the piece of s**t taking the easy way out.

Well mum and dad would be a good starting point in all this, considering he's dead.

 

[MC Extra Dollop]

Ok we are 11.


*personally I don't feel that safe tbh. That could just be a "me" thing but that's how I feel unfortunately.

This is where #metoo has been a real eye-opener for me. I always felt as though my wife took caution to the extreme and I recall being gobsmacked years ago when I caught up with an overseas flame in Perth and she'd lock her car doors while driving if she was stopped at the traffic lights.

I'd always treated it as a bit "You do you" thing, because I can't recall ever feeling even remotely like that (and I bet heaps of males are the same), but then when #metoo happened, it just became story after story on social media of friends of mine saying things like they routinely walked from the train station to their car at 6pm, holding their keys tight between their knuckles from fear of being attacked. That's when it turned more into a 'what the hell is wrong with our society?' moment for me.

 

[Shell]

This is where #metoo has been a real eye-opener for me. I always felt as though my wife took caution to the extreme and I recall being gobsmacked years ago when I caught up with an overseas flame in Perth and she'd lock her car doors while driving if she was stopped at the traffic lights.

I'd always treated it as a bit "You do you" thing, because I can't recall ever feeling even remotely like that (and I bet heaps of males are the same), but then when #metoo happened, it just became story after story on social media of friends of mine saying things like they routinely walked from the train station to their car at 6pm, holding their keys tight between their knuckles from fear of being attacked. That's when it turned more into a 'what the hell is wrong with our society?' moment for me.

I honestly change my behaviour. I am reluctant to stay out in the city after 11pm or just dont go to an event altogether because I just dont feel 100% safe coming home alone. I am a little bitter about that but I guess its my choice at the end of the day.


Lmao I remember feeling so "liberated" when I bought an apartment on the top floor. Could finally leave windows open on a hot night as opposed to when I lived in a villa on ground level for 10+ years.

 

[BFew]

Hmm

Disturbing message water polo coach’s killer sent her family

New insight into the moments after Lilie James was killed has been brought to light.

7news.com.au

'Lilie James’ killer sent message to her father in moments after her death at St Andrew’s Cathedral School in Sydney'​

'Bryce Luff / Updated 11 mins ago'

'Using James’ phone, her killer messaged the victim’s dad, asking him to collect her from the school.'