Autopsy Nuts football thoughts you've had to endure from coworkers

[terrybull]

Seems appropriate to bring it up, but I am admitted (though I've never practised)...



And yes, avidly. Being an MCC toff as well as a Hawks member helps (and I am self-aware enough to know I am only perpetuating your image of us now)

Different times now I guess.

Look at Hawks home attendances in the 70’s, yet they were highly successful in that period….

 

[Osho]

Sounds like you're the nuffy coworker. Daicos has Macedonian descent.

Isn't it Daicosso?
Pietro Daicosso from Lipari?

 

[Tall poppy Syndrome]

Crazy thoughts about football from co-workers? Hhmm let’s see.

Well there’s a guy at the office who tells me he supports the Suns…

That’s it actually.

 

[Papa G]

Don't really engage in footy talk with oppo supporters these days. I'm thoroughly uninterested in their teams or their opinions or the league in general. Only really talk to fellow Port supporters about how fukced the club has become and my intense desire to fire Hinkley, Koch and most of the board into the Sun.

 

[Gordon Farkas]

Not exactly ‘nuts’ but notable.

Had a female co-worker who said she ‘doesn’t like AFL’ because one of her friends was once in a relationship with a player years ago and he turned out to be a knob.

‘Really?’, I replied. ‘Do you remember his name?’

‘Not sure’, she replied, struggling to recall. ‘I think it was Wayne somebody…. Wayne Carey was his name, perhaps?’

 

[Hydatina Physis]

A mate of mine, another tiger, keeps banging on about how we're going to smash to comp this season. Every player we have is an A-grader, our fitness dept is going to keep everyone on the park all season, all our draftees are going to play most of the season. I'm all for optimism or hope but it's embarrassing, especially when we're in a group of people that also know I support Richmond. Pretty sure he posts on here, I just don't know his username and I'm too afraid to ask. If he's willing to talk the nonsense he does in person, lord knows what he says on here.

 

[Scholz Supremacy]

When I started at a new job in 2021 at around the time David Teague had just been sacked as Carlton coach, I tried to start a conversation with a woman wearing a Carlton beanie.

I asked her what she thought about David Teague being sacked and she looked at me funny and said "Who's that?"

 

[errant bounce]

Not exactly ‘nuts’ but notable.

Had a female co-worker who said she ‘doesn’t like AFL’ because one of her friends was once in a relationship with a player years ago and he turned out to be a knob.

‘Really?’, I replied. ‘Do you remember his name?’

‘Not sure’, she replied, struggling to recall. ‘I think it was Wayne somebody…. Wayne Carey was his name, perhaps?’

This is a topic itself – women whose friends go out with footballers and then they all act disgusted when the footballer inevitably dumps them.

Classic progression is 'my friend –– is dating –– from the ––, apparently he's a really really sweet guy, and apparently he doesn't even like football that much, he's more into his ––.'

A month later when she's 'ghosted' or 'randomly dumped' he's a pig, he uses women, he's manipulative...

Like surely they know some rich and fit 24-year old who plays sport for a living is probably going to be rooting a lot of women and your bang average mate is absolutely not going to be 'the one.'

 

[CatToTheFuture]

Always a real mixed bag when it comes to discussing football in a workplace.

Most of the better sorts don't hyperanalyse too much or act like they're more knowledgeable than the coach and CEO's wives combined and generally keep it light, have a laugh, talk about a good game, give the odd insight into a club you don't support.

But some campaigners truly cannot ****ing help themselves and drive you into never discussing the topic because you know it'll denigrate into some childish slinging match or stat-driven horseshit diatribe.

So, who are the people you've worked with who make you rue Monday morning regardless of if you won or lost by 60 points.

- Collingwood supporter who had an obsession with the Daicos, probably because he was Italian, and would say things like 'the loss that needed to happen' and would just flip flop on opinions week to week, would repeat the most bland opinions ever ('Harley Reid is a serious talent') but then had this weird hate for Scott Pendlebury and how he was 'overrated' and 'holding the team back' (this is after they'd won the flag). I think most people would be happy with Scott Pendlebury being at their club for 20 years. used to eat like four meals a day and leave bowls all around his desk but then went on tirades about people leaving empty chip boxes under the seats at the G? when Freo were inevitably about to crumble, last year it was clear we were going to miss finals, and he'd tell you how he knows heaps more about the club and how wrong I am and it could the the Dockers year and and then when the Dockers did miss finals, told me he'd have them pencilled in to miss the eight in his pre-season prediction.

- Bloke who supported Adelaide. really odd dude. would look straight through you and discuss a topic you have no prior knowledge in like you two had discussed it 20 times before, would constantly take weird jabs at Fremantle and I was like 'yeah they are pretty shit.' said Patrick Dangerfield had 'dirty secrets all over the state.' had this story about Josh Carr apparently always wanting to play for the Crows and that's why he kept going between Freo and Port. I was working in a bottle shop at the time and whether it was a beer or wine or someone's ID or the football scores, everything would come back to how Perth people are jealous of Adelaide people. said he was 'always welcome in the rooms with the boys' but could never tell me if he knew some staff or a player or whatever.

- Good guy to be honest this dude, but was obsessed with bringing Monday night football back and bringing in a team that exclusively played bad time slots. honestly not a dickhead and a great and truly unpopular personal obsession he harboured and was a decent guy but man, 'how good would it be if we had footy last night?' is not something I think about on a Tuesday morning while on 700 bucks a week.

- Same job, dude worked there and had absolute zero interest in sport but said he was the best player on his high school team (we were a similar age who grew up in a similar region) because he'd 'flog the other team 'til there was no one standing.' had a penchant for discussing his weekend sex plans over Friday beers with all the bosses (this was a job where most of us were young guys who'd come in regaling weekend achievements, but yknow, not like that). said he knew for a fact one player had his own son also playing in the competition. of course never explained and it was 'told in complete confidence.'

- Guy in Perth when I worked retail for a summer during uni who was certain that the Western Bulldogs were once based in Perth and it was a Berenstein Bears Mandela effect. did tell me some cool stuff about tunnels though so it all evened out.

- Dude who come over to our office for a few weeks and said that Essendon were so well supported in WA because they had the same jumper as Perth in the WAFL and the Perth Demons were a massive club (they're definitely not).

- Obviously most West Coast supporters who attach their personal status to that of the football team and have never kicked a ball in their life but reckon they know everything, how everything's a grand conspiracy, constant obsession with Freo even though no one cares about them or something...

Ok, I'm with you for most of these, but on the Monday night football dude, I kinda just want to hear him out here

 

[CatToTheFuture]

- Same job, dude worked there and had absolute zero interest in sport but said he was the best player on his high school team (we were a similar age who grew up in a similar region) because he'd 'flog the other team 'til there was no one standing.' had a penchant for discussing his weekend sex plans over Friday beers with all the bosses (this was a job where most of us were young guys who'd come in regaling weekend achievements, but yknow, not like that). said he knew for a fact one player had his own son also playing in the competition. of course never explained and it was 'told in complete confidence.'

Ok that one isn't even footy related, he's just a d***head

 

[Scholz Supremacy]

Not work, but I went to high school with an absolute flog Western Bulldogs fan who gave me heaps of shit for being a Port Adelaide supporter.

One day at school I mentioned the name Ollie Wines to him, and he responded with “Who? who?”

Safe to say that he was definitely in my thoughts on Brownlow Night 2021.

 

[CatToTheFuture]

The Crows and Power supporters who know you watch footy, feel the need to discuss the ins and outs of either team when in reality you never give either of them much thought.

I actually enjoy that. Tbh I'm more the d***head because I don't stop taking about Geelong... ever..

 

[CatToTheFuture]

I was literally about to post something similar... now I feel like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon, so to speak.

I can't believe that joke fell flat. I enjoyed it

 

[CatToTheFuture]

'Essendon are closer to a flag than Brisbane'.

- Essendon supporter in 2021.

You know how many [insert team here] are closer to a flag than Geelong conversations I've had over 2008-2022?

 

[FreddyTwoShoes]

I used to work with a blues supporter who would get stuck into me every time they won and we lost.
I’d ask him “who are your favourite Carlton players?”
He’d routinely say “Steve Kernahan”.

It was about ten years after Sticks retired.

 

[Roobs321]

I did all my schooling in gayfl aerial pingpong country (always the casual league fans never the passionate who are cool sports folk). Dad was the only footy chat I really had.

 

[GetDimmaBack]

I actually enjoy that. Tbh I'm more the d***head because I don't stop taking about Geelong... ever..

I worked in Geelong for a few years. You're not Robinson Crusoe, I assure you



Back on topic, I worked with a Saints fan who went on for years with, ''Billings will be/is way better than Bont'',...

 

[hoddo22]

I worked in Geelong for a few years. You're not Robinson Crusoe, I assure you



Back on topic, I worked with a Saints fan who went on for years with, ''Billings will be/is way better than Bont'',...

You worked with Cooper Grech?

On SM-G781B using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Proper Gander]

Don't really engage in footy talk with oppo supporters these days. I'm thoroughly uninterested in their teams or their opinions or the league in general. Only really talk to fellow Port supporters about how fukced the club has become and my intense desire to fire Hinkley, Koch and most of the board into the Sun.

That’s me