harry000
Brownlow Medallist
You’d expect that in this day and age a brand new Land Cruiser would have adequate air conditioning for just about any situation. But today the hire car was struggling to live up to its expectations as I meandered north along the Stuart Highway. Coober Pedy was far behind me and the vast red surroundings were all starting to look the same. The news of Thepuppermaster’s disappearance weighed heavily on my mind, especially so, considering the fact that the band wagon had gone missing with him. I mean the loss to the dogs wasn’t the end of the world! I thought the band wagon would come rolling back in after the belting of Brisbane but to my dismay it was nowhere to be seen.
Alas, we have more important things to worry about at present such as the impending clash with the Power, the reason for my journey across this desolate plain. “Why did I agree to give Jimmy a lift,” I thought to myself. But deep down I knew that I feel sorry for the bloke and I still have a soft spot for him as much as I hate to admit (it’s not his fault he now plays for a bunch of lunatics). I was at first reluctant, when we spoke on the phone a few days back and he had made the request, however, he did make a good point, “my mum can’t drive me because she has to make a moussaka for the family to eat while they watch the game. Plus, I’m too scared of heights to fly with the team.”
“You’re afraid of heights?” I asked.
“Yes I’m afraid of anything high! High expectations, being picked high in the draft, Heritier Lumumba and most of all flying in a plane.”
I pondered for a few moments before agreeing to give him a lift. Since leaving Adelaide we had driven past hordes of white walkers wearing Port Adelaide guernseys. They were obviously making the trip on foot to save on the cost of petrol. We had collected one other passenger along the way. Whilst stopping for refreshments in Coober Pedy I had bumped into Liam Jurrah, who was on his way to an annual war with some family members.
“Heeey Jimmy how are we brudda,” he exclaimed with great excitement as he entered the cruiser, “pretty sure you haven’t won a contested possession since I was at the club!”
“Well I have been working on it,” Jimmy rebutted, ”you just wait and see, I don’t run away from a contest any more. I have been speaking with Dr Whooooooooooo and he informs me that the positive culture at Port Adelaide will lift me to All Australian status.”
Liam brushed a fly off his face and responded, “Mate, you won’t be All Australian if ya stuck in the twos!” Jimmy went silent and started sulking, holding back tears and nodded off to sleep.
For the last few hours nobody had spoken much and we hadn’t seen a soul for miles. I was about to fall asleep myself when I noticed another vehicle approaching at high speed.
“See that Liam?”
“Yeah that brudda is flying!”
The vehicle caught up with us in no time and flew past in a streak of red and blue.
“THE BAND WAGON” Liam and I both yelled in unison. I put my foot down but the cruiser was no match for such a well-oiled machine and it disappeared over the horizon.
I continued to pump the accelerator, pushing the cruiser to its limits and eventually I spotted the band wagon pulled over on the side of the road and I came to a stop behind it. It appeared that the white walkers who had stolen it had spotted some aboriginal art work of a man painted in red, black and yellow and had stopped to beat it up. Liam and I disembarked our own vehicle and approached the rabid walkers.
“Oi, whered ya get that band wagon,” yelled Liam.
A bald walker wearing glasses turned to face us. “I am Kotchie, we have commandeered your band wagon because you do not deserve such a magnificent vehicle. Our football department have made significant modifications and have the band wagon in pristine condition.”
Another walker stepped up beside Kotchie as I noticed a crowd of around 50 of them had formed around us, I thought I saw Jonas to my rear waiting for the opportunity to king hit me. The second walker seemed a bit confused as he was wearing a Power guernsey, a West Coast beanie and a Geelong scarf. “I am Dr Whooooooooo he exclaimed, I have betrayed you and led the band wagon into the hands of your enemy. With a culture like yours, you could never have restored this band wagon to the condition in which you see it now.”
The anger was welling up inside me. I wished I had a mod nearby to expel this little troll from existence. However, I responded calmly. “Whether your warped beliefs are true or not, the band wagon belongs to the posters of MFC Big Footy board, where you are no longer welcome. Move aside or feel our wrath.”
Dr Whooooo and Kotchie both started to laugh, an evil cackling sound, and the rest of the walkers started moving slowly towards us chanting, “NEVER TEAR US APART, NEVER TEAR US APART!!!”.
I heard a car door slam, I looked around and Toump was running away from the scene in terror.
“NEVER TEAR US APART, NEVER TEAR US APART!!!”
I was trying to come up with a plan of attack when Liam yelled, “here Brudda” and threw me a machete. A Demonic grin appeared on my face "NEVER SAY NEVER MOTHA F**KERS," I screamed, as Liam and I proceeded to tear the walkers apart, literally, limb for limb.
When the dust settled and the earth was an even deeper shade of red than it had been previously, I opened the boot of the band wagon to see Thepuppetmaster bound and clearly dehydrated croaking “Dees by 10 goals over the Lions.”
“Good prediction buddy” I stated, but that game is in the past. “Let’s get you untied and continue on to the Northern Territory.”
Dees by 26 poos in the Toump-asses pants
Edit: Opposition supporters welcome*
* Striker475 made me say this
Alas, we have more important things to worry about at present such as the impending clash with the Power, the reason for my journey across this desolate plain. “Why did I agree to give Jimmy a lift,” I thought to myself. But deep down I knew that I feel sorry for the bloke and I still have a soft spot for him as much as I hate to admit (it’s not his fault he now plays for a bunch of lunatics). I was at first reluctant, when we spoke on the phone a few days back and he had made the request, however, he did make a good point, “my mum can’t drive me because she has to make a moussaka for the family to eat while they watch the game. Plus, I’m too scared of heights to fly with the team.”
“You’re afraid of heights?” I asked.
“Yes I’m afraid of anything high! High expectations, being picked high in the draft, Heritier Lumumba and most of all flying in a plane.”
I pondered for a few moments before agreeing to give him a lift. Since leaving Adelaide we had driven past hordes of white walkers wearing Port Adelaide guernseys. They were obviously making the trip on foot to save on the cost of petrol. We had collected one other passenger along the way. Whilst stopping for refreshments in Coober Pedy I had bumped into Liam Jurrah, who was on his way to an annual war with some family members.
“Heeey Jimmy how are we brudda,” he exclaimed with great excitement as he entered the cruiser, “pretty sure you haven’t won a contested possession since I was at the club!”
“Well I have been working on it,” Jimmy rebutted, ”you just wait and see, I don’t run away from a contest any more. I have been speaking with Dr Whooooooooooo and he informs me that the positive culture at Port Adelaide will lift me to All Australian status.”
Liam brushed a fly off his face and responded, “Mate, you won’t be All Australian if ya stuck in the twos!” Jimmy went silent and started sulking, holding back tears and nodded off to sleep.
For the last few hours nobody had spoken much and we hadn’t seen a soul for miles. I was about to fall asleep myself when I noticed another vehicle approaching at high speed.
“See that Liam?”
“Yeah that brudda is flying!”
The vehicle caught up with us in no time and flew past in a streak of red and blue.
“THE BAND WAGON” Liam and I both yelled in unison. I put my foot down but the cruiser was no match for such a well-oiled machine and it disappeared over the horizon.
I continued to pump the accelerator, pushing the cruiser to its limits and eventually I spotted the band wagon pulled over on the side of the road and I came to a stop behind it. It appeared that the white walkers who had stolen it had spotted some aboriginal art work of a man painted in red, black and yellow and had stopped to beat it up. Liam and I disembarked our own vehicle and approached the rabid walkers.
“Oi, whered ya get that band wagon,” yelled Liam.
A bald walker wearing glasses turned to face us. “I am Kotchie, we have commandeered your band wagon because you do not deserve such a magnificent vehicle. Our football department have made significant modifications and have the band wagon in pristine condition.”
Another walker stepped up beside Kotchie as I noticed a crowd of around 50 of them had formed around us, I thought I saw Jonas to my rear waiting for the opportunity to king hit me. The second walker seemed a bit confused as he was wearing a Power guernsey, a West Coast beanie and a Geelong scarf. “I am Dr Whooooooooo he exclaimed, I have betrayed you and led the band wagon into the hands of your enemy. With a culture like yours, you could never have restored this band wagon to the condition in which you see it now.”
The anger was welling up inside me. I wished I had a mod nearby to expel this little troll from existence. However, I responded calmly. “Whether your warped beliefs are true or not, the band wagon belongs to the posters of MFC Big Footy board, where you are no longer welcome. Move aside or feel our wrath.”
Dr Whooooo and Kotchie both started to laugh, an evil cackling sound, and the rest of the walkers started moving slowly towards us chanting, “NEVER TEAR US APART, NEVER TEAR US APART!!!”.
I heard a car door slam, I looked around and Toump was running away from the scene in terror.
“NEVER TEAR US APART, NEVER TEAR US APART!!!”
I was trying to come up with a plan of attack when Liam yelled, “here Brudda” and threw me a machete. A Demonic grin appeared on my face "NEVER SAY NEVER MOTHA F**KERS," I screamed, as Liam and I proceeded to tear the walkers apart, literally, limb for limb.
When the dust settled and the earth was an even deeper shade of red than it had been previously, I opened the boot of the band wagon to see Thepuppetmaster bound and clearly dehydrated croaking “Dees by 10 goals over the Lions.”
“Good prediction buddy” I stated, but that game is in the past. “Let’s get you untied and continue on to the Northern Territory.”
Dees by 26 poos in the Toump-asses pants
Edit: Opposition supporters welcome*
* Striker475 made me say this
Last edited:
