stupid things work clients say

[mighty mick]

i work in computer retail and just a couple of examples of customers who make you laugh or cry for that matter:

1. i want to print something green where do i get a green ink printer cartridge,

2. customer standing in front of a printer, " so this is what you call a scanner, how does it work.

3. CUSTOMER: ok so i bought this printer yesterday, now how do i use it?
ME:" ok so did you connect it to your computer?

CUSTOMER: i dont have one?



im sure weve all had one of those customers lets hear about it.

 

[evade28]

lol, gotta hate working in customer service

 

[eagleskickass]

Buying a printer without a computer...CLASSIC. Thats good one.

Stupid things that get said at dominos

CUSTOMER : Id like 3 large pizza's please
PHONE PERSON : Name Please
CUSTOMER: Id like 3 large pizza's please
PP: Yes, Sir/Madam, can i have your name first please
CUSTOMER: Yeah id like 3 large pizza's please
PP: Absolutely but i need to get your name first please
CUSTOMER : Id like 3 large pizza's please
PP: In a second, just give me your name first thanks
CUSTOMER : Oh, my name, John

Actually happened the other night, talk about dense

 

[BlueMark]

Employee was having a lot of trouble with client, so got me to help out.

C, I want to speak to the manager
M, I am the manager Can I help you?
C, I want to speak to the manager
M, I am the manager can I help you?
C, I want to speak to the real manager
M, I am the real manager, now can I help you?
C, No, your not.
M, I am Ma'am now can I help?
C, I want to speak to your superior.
M, Sorry Ma'am but that is me, can I help you?
C, Why won't you get the real mamager?
M Cause that would be me. now finally can I help you?
C, Well if you must!!

Turns out that the problem had nothing to do with our service at all, but with a completely different service.

Parting words from Client as she stomped out disgusted, clutching a supplied cab charge to get to cross town service were 'Fat lot of help you were then!!"

 

[Beffery]

Whilst trying to save some money I stupidly took a job working in the deli at BiLo... and I have had some absolute doozys over my short (3 month) stint there.

One that sticks out was this bloke who spent about 10 minutes looking at our sliced ham. I asked if I could help him and he asked whether the ham was fresh/pre-packaged and I explained how we get it and that it was fresh. I then had to go and find out the fat content and every other tiny detail available with ham, which took aaages. The customer has a right to know so I wasn't too ****ed off with that, but then after he *finally* decided that he wanted some of the bloody ham, he made me lift up every piece so he could decide which ones he wanted.

I’ve also had those customers who insist on having their meat sliced an exact thickness, those who change their mind right after you’ve wrapped everything… and the always fun drunk/stoned teenagers coming in for roast chickens and then proceeding to throw up all over the cabinets.

Oh... I've also had salami thrown at me by the local crazy man.

BiLo can kiss my ASS.

 

[ViperV10]

Originally posted by Beffery
BiLo can kiss my ASS.

Oh great, and I have an interview tomorrow with them.

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

I work in the Lay-by department, so there's some interesting characters who i've come across.

*This guy came with a layby overdue by a good 18months, and asks if he can still pick it up...
*Lady comes to pick her layby up without her docket, but when I search the computer for her details i can't find them. After about 25mins of explaining to her its not on our computer for various reasons (i.e. she picked it up), she remembers that she's at the wrong store.
*Lady comes to pick her layby up (2xshoes), but I can't seem to locate her. I inform the manager, who tells her she can either take any two pairs of shoes for the same price, she can get a refund, or she can comeback in 2 days after which we will have another pair brought down from another store. But no, she won't have any of it. She wants her layby there and then, end of discussion. Now unless I can magically pull the shoes out of my *ss, she wasn't going to get them. Stupid b*tch argued for 45mins before her husband convinced her to STFU.
Now fair enough she's p*ssed off, most people would be, but you gotta be realistic. If the shoes aren't there, they aren't there.
*There's this guy who puts a PS2 on layby almost weekly, and never picks it up. Ends up losing his $1.10 layby fee everytime, yet keeps coming back.
*There's this smelly hillbilly family who buy in bulk. Bought a dozen watches once because they were on sale. Bought just about every boardgame we had another time.

List goes on. Rarely a shift goes by where I don't deal with a weirdo. Oh, how I love the western suburbs

 

[Warren Anker]

I was giving some grand final tickets to a favoured customer and his PA today, and he asked me if Trevor Lockett was going to be playing. I told him that Trevor Lockett retired the year he kicked his 1300th goal so he won't be playing, but my customer said he made a comeback last year.

 

[mantis]

I work for a Computer Networking Company, we only deal with Businesses, as our ad clearly says, but you still get some people ringing up about their home computers, trying to get help to fix their's over the phone, so they don't have to pay someone to repair it, damn annoying, so I have a bit of fun with them.

ME: Can I help you?

CALLER: I hope so, can you help me fix a problem I am having my my computer?

ME: Sorry, no I can't

CALLER: Why not?

ME: Because I don't know how to fix computers

CALLER: You should know, you work for a computer company

ME: Well I don't, I can't even fix my own computer, I handle the administration side of the business.

CALLER: Well is there someone else there who could help me then?

ME: My boss might be able too

CALLER: Can I speak to him then?

ME: Yes, can I have your name & the name of your company?

CALLER: I don't have a business, it is my home computer

ME: Well we can't help you, we only deal with companies, you will have to ring a home computer repair business, BYE.

Give an evil chuckle as I hang up, then hear my boss muttering that I can be a real bitch sometimes.

 

[ImperialPurple]

Originally posted by Warren Anker
I was giving some grand final tickets to a favoured customer and his PA today, and he asked me if Trevor Lockett was going to be playing. I told him that Trevor Lockett retired the year he kicked his 1300th goal so he won't be playing, but my customer said he made a comeback last year.

LOL...

 

[mighty mick]

Originally posted by daddy_4_eyes
I work in the Lay-by department, so there's some interesting characters who i've come across.



List goes on. Rarely a shift goes by where I don't deal with a weirdo. Oh, how I love the western suburbs

they must come over to me after they have seen you

my biggest peeve is that someone buys a printer and cant be bothered to learn which cartridges it takes. im supposed to have esp and guess the model and make of thier machines and cop the repercussions if im wrong.

me: "what type of printer do you have?"
customer:" its a white one"

 

[skilts]

Deal with these mothers every day of the year.

The classic was when an American came up to me in the middle of a medical conference, in Melbourne.

He said to me, "I want to see the how the aborigines live in their native state. I've got a day off from this conference".

Have you any idea how close I was to sending him to Gertrude St, Fitzroy, or Ackland St, St kilda?

Instead, I said I couldn't help him, he didn't have enough time.

It's like pulling into a hotel in New York and asking where you can see Red Indian Americans in their 'native state'.

 

[Altum Volantes]

Well today I had a podiatrist requesting a PPT arch fill on a 4mm poly pair of orthotics with a 4mm EVA heel raise to be worn by an 80kg patient.

Now obviously, that makes no sense to anybody else, but boy it sounded damn stupid to me

 

[P_D]

JuJu, what WERE they thinking!??!?!

 

[Westy_Boy]

This one's more an honest mistake rather than stupid, but when they pay for whatever it is, and say "keep the change" and walk off ... when they're well short.

"ummm, mate?"

"Don't worry about it!!" ... storming out the door with a 'how generous am I?' look on their face.

Short of yelling out "you're 2 bucks short you f***in goose!!" embarrasing the hell out of him in front of 20 other customers, there's not much you can do.

 

[dreampolice]

Every christmas i recall this one.ABout 12 years ago my first wife excitedly gave me my xmas present. I openedit to find a cd player! Wow thats great i said. Umm but where is the stereo system?

- What stereo system she esaid, do you need one!

I was torn between her sweet thoughts and her stupidity. Still disturbs me in a way...

 

[Mobbs]

Originally posted by dreampolice
Every christmas i recall this one.ABout 12 years ago my first wife excitedly gave me my xmas present. I openedit to find a cd player! Wow thats great i said. Umm but where is the stereo system?

- What stereo system she esaid, do you need one!

I was torn between her sweet thoughts and her stupidity. Still disturbs me in a way...

I don't get this one. My CD player plays ok without a stereo system.

 

[Mobbs]

Wait ... you mean it was only the player?

Alrighty, I think I've caught up!

 

[Blondie]

Can you make the logo bigger?

 

[Mobbs]

Originally posted by Blondie
Can you make the logo bigger?

Might need to know the context to know why that's a stupid thing to say!

 

[Blondie]

Originally posted by Mobbenfuhrer
Might need to know the context to know why that's a stupid thing to say!

Every fricking context. I'm an art director, and no matter how many hours you put in on a commercial, website, print ad, catalogue etc. the first comment will always be:

"Right... now, that was good... but can we have the logo a little bit bigger?"

 

[Mobbs]

Originally posted by Blondie
Every fricking context. I'm an art director, and no matter how many hours you put in on a commercial, website, print ad, catalogue etc. the first comment will always be:

"Right... now, that was good... but can we have the logo a little bit bigger?"

Hehe, well then fair enough. Umm, do they determine the dimensions first and then change their mind?

 

[bluechampion]

Every job i've had deals with customers.

I once worked in a Milkbar that sold sandwiches when I was a teenager. A bloke came in to buy milk and sandwiches. This was at six at night. Now we only made sandwiches from 10-3 every day. Lunchtime. I was apologetic, and explained the situation adding that I really didn't have much stuff to make sandwiches with anyway, as it had all been used or cleaned up and thrown out.

He SCREAMED at me. "What the **** are my kids gonna have for dinner, you prick! " etc. He threw the milk at me and stormed out.

Now this whole time he had a $20 note in his hand. The milkbar was next to a Fish and Chip shop, Chinese Takeaway and Italian Takeaway... What's he gonna feed his kids? Anything,you ********!

We also had a chemist nearby. But they were more than a chemist, they were also a methodone clinic! So, more than once i had junkies falling asleep trying to but food from me.

There was also a kid who regularly shat his pants and wandered in. People would be lined up, waiting to be served and they'd sniff the air and check their shoes... And he's just stand there.

At a seperate job i once had someone aske where the toilet was... there's a set of stairs going up and one going down. Both in plain view.
I replied, "In the basement"
The person looked around and then went...
"Up the stairs then?"

sigh.

 

[Blondie]

Originally posted by Mobbenfuhrer
Hehe, well then fair enough. Umm, do they determine the dimensions first and then change their mind?

They change their minds afterwards.

Ok, picture a tv screen. Then imagine it divided into a grid 8 (width) x 6 (height), each of equal proportions. At any one time, the most I would ever make a logo (and reluctantly, may I add) would be 3x3. I would rarely go that large though. However, most clients will want 6x5 AS A MINIMUM.

Now, transpose this problem to a billboard 22m wide and 4m high. They want the logo to be 8m x 4m, which if you think about it, is so fricking offensively huge.

And if you need talent (i.e models) they will always have a relative who can do it. Last week a client told me his niece was gorgeous and would be perfect. I said no, he insisted. Hey, he's the client, go ahead and waste money, see if I care.

His niece turns up, she is not just fat, she is massive. That, I can deal with... but she was the quitest, shyest person I have ever met. Not exactly ideal for me to be barking orders at her. I ring the client and tell him my concerns, he says to go ahead. Result: Total re-shoot next week, double bill for the client.

 

[Mobbs]

Originally posted by Blondie
They change their minds afterwards.

Ok, picture a tv screen. Then imagine it divided into a grid 8 (width) x 6 (height), each of equal proportions. At any one time, the most I would ever make a logo (and reluctantly, may I add) would be 3x3. I would rarely go that large though. However, most clients will want 6x5 AS A MINIMUM.

Now, transpose this problem to a billboard 22m wide and 4m high. They want the logo to be 8m x 4m, which if you think about it, is so fricking offensively huge.

And if you need talent (i.e models) they will always have a relative who can do it. Last week a client told me his niece was gorgeous and would be perfect. I said no, he insisted. Hey, he's the client, go ahead and waste money, see if I care.

His niece turns up, she is not just fat, she is massive. That, I can deal with... but she was the quitest, shyest person I have ever met. Not exactly ideal for me to be barking orders at her. I ring the client and tell him my concerns, he says to go ahead. Result: Total re-shoot next week, double bill for the client.

Yeah the logos sound huge ... and you'd be in a better position to know what works, too, I'd think.

If you concede to them, and their idea flops, it'd come back on you, I'd bet.

Amusing about the models suggestion.

At a seperate job i once had someone aske where the toilet was... there's a set of stairs going up and one going down. Both in plain view.
I replied, "In the basement"
The person looked around and then went...
"Up the stairs then?"

That's gold!