Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

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Dogs_R_Us said:
" described as 'mercurial' by commentators who don't know that the word actually means "subject to sudden or unpredictable changes of mood or mind" but apply the tag to any mid-sized forward who floats in and out of games and has questionable off field ethics "

Kind of like calling a player 'laconic' which they think means laid-back in rather a nice way, when it actually means 'using few words due to lack of interest in the topic'.
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When I hear laconic in the football sense, I think of a bloke who gets tackled a LOT.
 
Mofra said:
Thank god for the Bras n Things catalogue
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Still filthy they stopped that.

What a time to have lived.
From Dads ragged old Playboy ( Karen Pini ) under the bed to Oculus ******* Rift
 
Stan_Darsh72 said:
I saw 3 rolls royces in footscray late at night. Drug dealers are doing well there.

Although rather suddenly my wog mates VY Holden calais was looking out of place
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A Chrysler 300E should suffice
 

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I still remember me and a mate finding his old man's stash in the sulo bin. Both of us still being a bit young to appreciate what we were seeing, we were busy having a good old laugh about it when his old man came out and cracked the shits at us in a big way. Wasn't your normal type of stash either as I recall, mostly a lot of black and white artistic type of pictures.

In primary school we started a syndicate selling playboys and penthouses, which one of the lads was stealing from a newsagents on his way home from school. We'd sell them for a couple of dollars each to the kids in the year below, and it was all going sweet until some little s**t grassed on us. We all ended up with the teachers in the photocopy room bawling our eyes out and tipping old mate who was stealing them further into the s**t. I thought my parents were going to give me a bollocking when I got home, but they weren't worried at all.
 
Stan_Darsh72 said:
For me it was buying porno's in carribean markets along with counterfeit pokemon and yugioh cards, pirated dvds and games and laser pointers.

The world has lost part of its charm when that placed closed.
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Jesus this gave me the nostalgia feels. Buying a shitty knock off Ecko or FUBU hoody then heading to the rollerama to try and finger one of the girls... the wasted years of adolescence.

Stepdad had an extensive collection of pr0n vhs in a box that had a garbage bag lining it. I didn’t realize for some time he had a very specific order for the vids and started to fold in paper like some elaborate Indiana Jones hack to catch me watching them.
 
Mofra said:
Player #16 - Steele Sidebottom
View attachment 1018080
Pictured: The 'after' photo of the roadkill and moonshine diet

Steele Sidebottom is a Collingwood player who, if pressed, could probably tell you the brand of car that killed the grilled possum he's eating just by the flavour profile and tenderness.

Steele didn't actually play too badly when he was on the paddock this year, although it was only for nine games. He did however invent the worst excuse known in AFL circles since de Goey blamed his dog for a broken hand, although DanWA's Gaff was just aiming for his chest comes close (Bloodret's defence of hitting a women doesn't bear mention).

Let me take you all back. It was late June, a simpler time. Adelaide were winless, some of Chief's server chickens were mere hatchlings, and Essendon had only gone 15.9 years without a finals win.
Steele decided to visit the upmarket suburb of Williamstown in Melbourne's seaside west, in breach of the Covid-19 protocols at the time.
After a "few drinks at a friends house", he was found in the early hours of the morning half-naked and freezing by the police. Coach Nathan Buckley, in a move we now know is out of character, stood by his player:

Buckley said “things headed a little bit off the tracks” after Sidebottom arrived at Wells’ place
“Steele obviously needed to get help home and in his recollection can’t remember a lot around what happened that evening. He ended up finding himself home earlier the next morning,” Buckley told reporters.

Eddie McGuire's excuse really took the cake though:
“The old fashioned was asleep on the couch and got up to go to the bathroom and walked out the wrong door,” he said on Fox Footy’s AFL 360.

It is the equivalent of rocking up to ER and telling the nurse "I slipped in the shower"
View attachment 1018090
Sidebottom's excuse in x ray form.

As a result of this, 'Sidey' (his nickname is either a play on his surname or his sense of direction) was suspended for all of July, missing four games as Collingwood lost to the Bombers and the Eagles in that time. Adam Treloar was their highest possession winner in each of those four games (they better not let that kid go).

Sidey then decided to give the finals a bit of a miss well as his wife gave birth. I assume birth isn't something he's unfamiliar with, given he looks like he was at the birth of most of his brothers, and probably even the conception. All in all in 2020 Steele threatened the schedule of the competition, played only 1/3 of the games he did last year, and was unavailable at the pointy end of the season. The end.

Fun fact: If you Google "side bottom wrong door", you get a call from HR. Please don't make the same mistake I did.

Steele, Sidey, I expect you won't be on this list next year. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
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Forward to 2:30 for laughs
 

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Wallaby said:
Anybody remember the thrill as a kid when people used to put out stacks of newspapers and magazines for a recycling collection, and every now and then you would spot someone's stash of pornos?
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Emptied and cleaned out the back shed today. Came across a 1984 Playboy. Ended up throwing it out with the old lawnmower.
Ironic because let’s just say that back then there was no mowing whatsoever.
 
MAXIMUM GAWNAGE said:
Hahaha
Had a work mate appear in that years ago.
She was pretty munted but.
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Went to school with a girl that did some promo work, she was in zoo back when that was a thing. Same deal, good body, average head, they changed her name and totally made up some story about her blowing a boyfriend in a helicopter.
 
Stronzo said:
I still remember me and a mate finding his old man's stash in the sulo bin. Both of us still being a bit young to appreciate what we were seeing, we were busy having a good old laugh about it when his old man came out and cracked the shits at us in a big way. Wasn't your normal type of stash either as I recall, mostly a lot of black and white artistic type of pictures.

In primary school we started a syndicate selling playboys and penthouses, which one of the lads was stealing from a newsagents on his way home from school. We'd sell them for a couple of dollars each to the kids in the year below, and it was all going sweet until some little sh*t grassed on us. We all ended up with the teachers in the photocopy room bawling our eyes out and tipping old mate who was stealing them further into the sh*t. I thought my parents were going to give me a bollocking when I got home, but they weren't worried at all.
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Thrifty, and a fan of Donny Benét... You really are the full package :hearteyes:
 
A Cut Above said:
Has Mofra ever done a retroactive achievement award?


7d889a56518123138c975382ffc858b7
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This was the most 2020 moment of 2020
 
phantom13 said:
Went to school with a girl that did some promo work, she was in zoo back when that was a thing. Same deal, good body, average head, they changed her name and totally made up some story about her blowing a boyfriend in a helicopter.
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Worked with someone who posed in Zoo real girls.

Sent round an All sites email to the 40,000 employees in the business asking them to vote for her

The link was her lying on the bed showing more cracks than a day 5 waca pitch.

She was unsuprisingly unemployed about 20 mins after she sent the email.
 
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