Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

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Mofra

Moderator
Dec 6, 2005
48,854
130,955
Footscray
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray, The Exers
Hi Bay,

2020 has been a great year, and by great I mean GAG the mightiest of Fs.
Given the shortened season and shortened quarters some of you may have been wondering if this would go ahead, but as much as "the cream rises to the top", in a septic tank it ain't cream that floats.

The rules
- My listings are final. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.
- Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded, although there is occasionally an allowance given for extraordinary spudness in the face of battle - especially for players who have spent extra time in the AFL environment and/or were first round picks.
- Players who have not played a senior game this year are excluded.
- Weightings have been granted for those who are over-rated, over paid, divers, are noted squibs and/or who are overtly Gen Z/Hipster.
- Melts about player inclusions / exclusions are highly encouraged.
- Lifetime achievement awarded players are excluded, as they have given us so much joy already

The Players
50 - Tim English
49 - Nathan Jones
48 - Jon Patton
47 - Ben Cunnington
46 - Tim O'Brien
45 - Lachie Hunter
44 - Neville Jetta
43 - Rory Lobb
42 - Tom Cutler
41- Tom & Oscar McDonald
40 - Paddy Dow
39 - Rory Atkins
38 - Adam Tomlinson
37 - Paul Puopolo
36 - Bailey Dale
 
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Mofra

Moderator
Dec 6, 2005
48,854
130,955
Footscray
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray, The Exers
Player #50 - Tim English

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Pictured: Tim has never been afraid to stick his neck out

Tim English was the Bulldogs' first round draft pick after the 2016 season in which they won four finals in a row against sides who were statistically quite undisciplined.
He is a very tall man - 205cm, although 35cm of that is neck. I'm guessing he's only 201cm when it's cold.

The story goes he was a highly skilled midfielder until he was 16, then he had a massive 20cm growth spurt - the second greatest growth spurt in AFL history. Unlike Stewie Dew, Timmy grew in height not circumference.

All pre-season we were fed stories about how much Timmy had grown his game, gotten stronger, and was going to take the AFL by storm. He did in round 7, with a BOG performance and he topped the supercoach highest scoring game chart this year with 204 points against the bombers. He had other games that were pretty good too, against AFL standard opponents. So why is he here?

Well, in round 1 he took on Brodie Grundy and I can only assume he said "step-brother, what are you doing?" at the opening bounce because Grundy flogged him so senselessly Timmy must have been praying for the season to be delayed. At halftime.

That's not to say he didn't have his moments, but the gap between his best and worst games was so vast that his performance reviews were nicknamed "Paddy McCartin's smile". He spent all year as first ruck at the Bulldogs, often rucking solo, yet made it to 23rd in average AFL hitouts. The Bulldogs have now lost the hitouts to their opposition a whopping 40 games in a row. Given the Bulldog ruck stocks are thinner than the casting hopefuls for the lead role in the stage version of Philadelphia, there was SFA the match committee could do about it either.

Fun fact: Tim's nickname is "Chili" because he turns red when he's embarrassed, and because most AFL players would be washing windscreens at traffic lights if they weren't good at football that's the best the other players could come up with.

Timmy, boy, thanks for kicking off the 2020 Bottom 50 in style.
 

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frggr

Protecting the Dropzone
May 16, 2012
21,510
36,457
AFL Club
Geelong
If we make the grand final he will have played 20 :) Sydney Stack could go deep here though. Jack Steven has to be a strong chance for top 10. Joe Daniher also.
Not sure he will - played well for a guy on return from a few years off, when he wasn't stabbed or having jaw issues, of course :)
 

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