Best sledges you have heard at the footy or any sport for that matter !
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grumbleguts
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Was playing indoor cricket for Victoria many years ago, batsman nicked it, everyone goes up the umpire says not out. The keeper turned to him and said "You're missing a bloody good game here umpire."
Later in the same game, I was fielding very close in on the off side. Batsman played a full blooded drive and I put my hand out and it stuck. Keeper said to me, "That was a great catch! You should have seen it!"
Later in the same game, I was fielding very close in on the off side. Batsman played a full blooded drive and I put my hand out and it stuck. Keeper said to me, "That was a great catch! You should have seen it!"
Bruno Oresar
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Hawthorn v Essenscum 2016 at Shitihad. Essendom were appealing doping bans from Wada to Court of arbitration in sport. Us and another group of Hawks supporters were sitting in the Medallion club in primarily Essenscum supporting area. Every time Essenscum supporters complained about umpires a very loud hawks fan would scream “Geneva - appeal it to Geneva” or “The Hague. Appeal it to The Hague. These boys are heroes”. He did it all game from start to finish. Essenscum supporters were fuming. I heard one of them say “this is why I can’t come to the footy anymore”. They couldn’t kick the bloke out because he wasn’t swearing or being abusive. Just enjoyably sarcastic. At one point Tim Watson, who was boundary riding, turned and gave this bloke the death stare. The few Hawks fans in proximity loved it. We beat the scum by around 100 points. One of my favorite footy memories.
KermitJagger
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I was at an Under 18s game in my local area a few years back, and there was a kid running around who had clearly been out on the piss (and other stuff) the night before with zero sleep, but he was absolutely dominating the other kid who was playing on him. Half time I overheard the coach absolutely seething about it, gave him a bake along the lines of "do not let Ben ****ing Cousins over there get a sniff in the second half because he looks like he looks like he's had the ****ing length of the 50m line last night".
Changa10
Premiership Player
There's some good stuff in here.
On Saturday in Launceston there was a throw in on the wing just in front of us. Dane Zorko, all by himself in the centre of the ground was yelling out "Who's got Wingard, someone get Wingard'. Someone from the crowd replied with, "Well Zorko, you haven't been near anyone all day, why don't you get him'.
On Saturday in Launceston there was a throw in on the wing just in front of us. Dane Zorko, all by himself in the centre of the ground was yelling out "Who's got Wingard, someone get Wingard'. Someone from the crowd replied with, "Well Zorko, you haven't been near anyone all day, why don't you get him'.
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Jack Silvagni get's the worst free kick of all time.
Bloke yells out.... 'You don't get a free kick just because your... Mum used to be on Sale of the Century'
Pretty sure everyone was expecting your Dad was Stephen Silvagni.
Bloke yells out.... 'You don't get a free kick just because your... Mum used to be on Sale of the Century'
Pretty sure everyone was expecting your Dad was Stephen Silvagni.
2002 Boxing Day test, Poms are struggling at 6-118 when Craig White comes out to bat.
While he is scratching out an off-stump line with his boot Punter asks:
'Hey Craig, what's that piece of sh*t doing on the end of your bat..?'
White instinctively raises his bat and inspects the toe.
Punter says: 'Nah mate, the other end!'
Last edited:
Hawk_francais
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2013 Prelim, I was at the ground after for about 40 minutes after we beat the cats. I still remember as I finally exited the G towards the train station there was a very drunk Hawks supporter all alone with a beer screaming "WE ARE GEELONG, THE SH***EST TEAM OF ALL".
So stupid, but in that moment it felt like pure genius.
So stupid, but in that moment it felt like pure genius.
A few of mine over the years - some are more anecdotal than sledges.
Hawks vs GC 2013 MCG - Buddy was having a shocker of a first half, A couple of out on the full kick for goals, dropped marks, fumbles etc.
I sit about 7 rows back on on the 50 meter line in my reserved seat and there was a throw in directly in front of me. Ball gets thrown in and taken away down the other end but Buddy still close by. I yell out "Hey Buddy keep playing like that and you'll want to sign your contract"."Got a good laugh from him and was looking into the crowd to see who yelled it. Came out in the second half and turned it on. Last quarter back down near me again and yelled out to him "So you signed your contract then!" - and he laughed again.
Hawks vs GWS MCG when they were s**t so must have been about 2014 or so and Devon Smith was playing for them. Again boundary throw in and yell out "Hey Devon look out Gargamel (you would have to know who the smurfs are to understand the reference) is behind you". - Sam Mitchell had a good chuckle.
I got this one from another source but it's a good one and used it a couple of times against Cats and Bombers.
"C'mon Hawks they're like a bunch schoolgirls outside a chemist (pause for a second or 2).
They know the pills in there, they're just too scared to go in and get it".
Being belted by North to the tune of 120 points at Waverley -
"Yeah we'd be winning by that much too if we had the wind for all 4 quarters".
Again North at Waverley but a different game to the one above.
North got about 5 free kicks in a row in succession.
I pick up an empty beer cup off the ground stand and up my seat (bench seat) hold the cup in the air above my head and started yelling
"Give here, give generously, give here, give generously, give to the North Melbourne Fraud Squad".
People around me started throwing 5 and 10 cent pieces to me and I was catching them in the cup.
Hawks vs Bombers - "Hey Watson (after the drug scandal) you and your mates are like dunny brushes - you can try and clean the s**t off but you still stink".
That got quite a number of Bombers supporters riled up.
Hawks vs Melbourne (The final we just lost to them).
Obviously we were going to lose at this point.
Stood up on my seat and held my membership above my head and started yelling
"You see this, it's a Hawthorn membership that voted no to the merger, so you can thank me for being here today".
Hawks vs GC 2013 MCG - Buddy was having a shocker of a first half, A couple of out on the full kick for goals, dropped marks, fumbles etc.
I sit about 7 rows back on on the 50 meter line in my reserved seat and there was a throw in directly in front of me. Ball gets thrown in and taken away down the other end but Buddy still close by. I yell out "Hey Buddy keep playing like that and you'll want to sign your contract"."Got a good laugh from him and was looking into the crowd to see who yelled it. Came out in the second half and turned it on. Last quarter back down near me again and yelled out to him "So you signed your contract then!" - and he laughed again.
Hawks vs GWS MCG when they were s**t so must have been about 2014 or so and Devon Smith was playing for them. Again boundary throw in and yell out "Hey Devon look out Gargamel (you would have to know who the smurfs are to understand the reference) is behind you". - Sam Mitchell had a good chuckle.
I got this one from another source but it's a good one and used it a couple of times against Cats and Bombers.
"C'mon Hawks they're like a bunch schoolgirls outside a chemist (pause for a second or 2).
They know the pills in there, they're just too scared to go in and get it".
Being belted by North to the tune of 120 points at Waverley -
"Yeah we'd be winning by that much too if we had the wind for all 4 quarters".
Again North at Waverley but a different game to the one above.
North got about 5 free kicks in a row in succession.
I pick up an empty beer cup off the ground stand and up my seat (bench seat) hold the cup in the air above my head and started yelling
"Give here, give generously, give here, give generously, give to the North Melbourne Fraud Squad".
People around me started throwing 5 and 10 cent pieces to me and I was catching them in the cup.
Hawks vs Bombers - "Hey Watson (after the drug scandal) you and your mates are like dunny brushes - you can try and clean the s**t off but you still stink".
That got quite a number of Bombers supporters riled up.
Hawks vs Melbourne (The final we just lost to them).
Obviously we were going to lose at this point.
Stood up on my seat and held my membership above my head and started yelling
"You see this, it's a Hawthorn membership that voted no to the merger, so you can thank me for being here today".
1989 grand final, Ablett first goal - “you’re ******* s**t Ablett” - goes on to kick 9 and a norm smith. Lesson learned, was young...
Buddy takes a mark, opposition encroaches the mark, fan yells in booming voice “get back bitch”. Was hilarious at the time, may have been the bourbons.
“You’re s**t Hale”. Becomes a triple premiership star, kicking crucial goals time and time again. Lesson learned as an adult.
“You are a ******* druggy Ben cousins” - this was back in 2004. Received some strange looks. Person in crowd definitely knew something.
KOLOKOTRONIS
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Buddy takes a mark, opposition encroaches the mark, fan yells in booming voice “get back bitch”. Was hilarious at the time, may have been the bourbons.
“You’re s**t Hale”. Becomes a triple premiership star, kicking crucial goals time and time again. Lesson learned as an adult.
“You are a ******* druggy Ben cousins” - this was back in 2004. Received some strange looks. Person in crowd definitely knew something.
KOLOKOTRONIS
On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app
Strebi3
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Had three coppers behind me for 2 quarters for yelling out "You left him more open than a teenage sl**s v**in*". Not my proudest moment but got the whole olympic stand up and about. This was in this years meeting against Collingwood a couple of weeks ago.
harry000
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We picked up that an opposition player was nicknamed 'Bambi'. Bambi tried to sledge one of my team mates and he replied back with "* off mate, your mum died in the opening credits."
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Great one from Pagan
“Denis Pagan sent a runner out on to the MCG with instructions for Peter Bell, a player who had been adopted, three days old, in Korea. The runner returned, puzzled, and said he couldn't find Bell. "They found him in three foot of grass at the side of a road in Korea and you can't find him in the middle of the f---ing MCG?" Pagan roared.”
“Denis Pagan sent a runner out on to the MCG with instructions for Peter Bell, a player who had been adopted, three days old, in Korea. The runner returned, puzzled, and said he couldn't find Bell. "They found him in three foot of grass at the side of a road in Korea and you can't find him in the middle of the f---ing MCG?" Pagan roared.”
I believe it was Brett Voss who was lining up for goal when Michael Voss yelled from behind “hey Brett, my dad ****** your mum”. I think he missed.
SAInTSMArCHnON
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" michelle timms!...Timmsy" , and "youre a lesbian Heal"
were enough to get shane heal ejected from a nbl game fewyears back. he heard everything from the guy shouting at him in courtside seats
were enough to get shane heal ejected from a nbl game fewyears back. he heard everything from the guy shouting at him in courtside seats
A few years back heard someone yell out to Razor Ray “Hey Ray, do you know why your parents called you Ray?.........Because it rhymes with you’re f#¥king useless!”
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Nathan Detroit
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Was at a women's basketball game some years back on the sideline. After a non-call, I yelled "Hey ref, if she traveled any further she'd need a damn suitcase!" Even the ref thought it funny at the time.
Last year at the Freo Hawks game I was so cheesed off at some of the decisions being made by the umpires I yell out,"F*** I now know why you umpires are in red - ur menstrating and it hurts so much you cant make the righty F**** decision. Thats it you are a pack of Menstrating maggots."
Silence hit the crowd around me, my kids face went bright red and then laughter - even saw a goal umpire turned around and smiled.
Since then when I see people I know from that game the call is made.
Are you serious - that is what you call witty???
At least two thirds are abysmal
Brant
Brownlow Medallist
I'm very pleased to respond that IMO, the 2019 hawker5 wouldn't say such crap & I've known him for the last 6-7 years.
Brant
Brownlow Medallist
Thanks Brant - I must admit I am extremely disappointed at the comments that have been made about my sledge considering they were made over 10 years ago at a time when footy was all about watching the game with friends that included supporters of the opposition sides and having a bit of a joke not considering the impact of what we were saying. That type of sledging was the norm for decades - the only aspect that wasnt and should never be allowed was discrimination
Have I booed an AFL Players? you betcha and given a chance I would do it again - is it wrong - not if the reasoning is non offensive - I booed Adam Goodes but not because of his colour or his beliefs, I have booed Stephen Silvagini but not because he was Italian, I booed Warwick Capper, but not because he was a - well Warwick Capper, I booed Gary Abblett Snr but not because of his indiscetions before he joined Geelong. How many jeered Gary Ablett Jnr after the 2008 Grand Final. Not once did i boo players because of the colour, religion or any other potential incorrect reasons - I booed them because they were brilliant players that all had a single fault - none were playing for Hawthorn. Before 2019 I hated Chad Wingard but today he is a Hawk and he is brilliant. I will ignore watching Sydney Swan games because i cant stand Buddy or Josh Kennedy playing for those sides. As supporters of the game how else can we express our "hatred" for players that will become legends. If we loose this ability how can we be called passionate supporters of our club. I will also add that after every game I always applauded and respected these players and continue to do so today
How many in here can remember the "White Hawthorn Policy" in place before Chance Bateman was drafted - if you criticize me what arent you directing complaints to the club. It has been documented that at one point in our recent history a retiring president said to a new president that the club will never select a player that had darker skin than him - do we complain about that - NO we learn from it, respect and acknowledge our mistakes and move to ensure that they never happen again. Would I make the offensive comment again - no - but i will complain about the standard of umpiring when warranted.
I have known several great AFL players and they often commented on how they could hear some of these sledges from supporters and they will admit that many like the one i said to the umpire made them laugh. These same West Coast players often used to tease me about my passion for the Hawks signing team posters suggesting i support a better side and once purchasing a membership for the Eagles supposedly for me. Revenge was sweet when I returned the favour saying to a few that they have played us twice in grand finals and then reminded them of the outcome.
Times change - we cannot and must not take offense to comments that were made in the past as many of us have made comments like this previously. As someone famously said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her"
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