Food, Drink & Dining Out Coffee w***ers..

[Papa G]

....seriously, I find them worse than wine w***ers.

And a disproportionate amount of them are Victorians, so there is bound to be a disproportionate amount of them on Bigfooty

But seriously, yes we understand that Melbourne has the best coffee in the known universe, but please, these tossers that go and say Oh I hate Sydney because you can't get a decent cup of coffee blah blah, Oh I couldn't live without my morning coffee from Dom's the Deigo in Doncaster just sounds so pretentious. But it's not just the preserve Victorian's, you can even be from Woolongong and be one....

 

[woopedazz]

Coffee w***ers!

 

[Selective Retention]

I'd prefer to drink my own urine than drink coffee. Horrible stuff.

 

[cats81]

Great thread....and they seem to think there is something wrong with you if you dont drink coffee

Its bad for you and tastes like s**t

 

[djrossie16]

Not a coffee man at all but don't mind a cup of tea

 

[beez]

Latte please, no sugar

 

[Papa G]

Don't get me wrong, I like coffee, I just don't dig the tossers who turn their noses up at anything that hasn't been cryovaced directly from the Peruvian Jungle, hand picked by natives in a non exploitative environmentally friendly way, ground by Dominic's nonna and then purchased from a tool know all 38 year barista who for some reason thinks he's a star because he works s**t hours at some hipster joint.

 

[RU_]

Farmers Union Iced Coffee count?

 

[cats2rise]

In Year 12 there was a kid who always had a thermos on his desk and would drink a bucket load of coffee each day. He was always trying to impress everybody by looking 'sophisticated' by drinking coffee during the day at school. One day he said 'omg i just couldnt function without my morning caffeine hit' trying to be all cool.... so we broke into his locker and changed his coffee to decaf (and rearanged his locker just to **** with his mind) and he for the next few weeks he kept on saying things like 'omg this coffee is great, finally awake in class now' etc etc. Being a coffee w***er... we thought it was quite funny he didnt notice the difference.

So I decided to go a step further (just cause he was annoying) and I stole his thermos from his locker one day, bluffed my way through borrowing a camera from the media room from the media teachers (i didnt even do media) and took an afternoon off school with a mate and went around getting random people in the street to hold the thermos and we would take pictures of them.

My mate was more than handy with photoshop etc and we photoshopped pictures of the thermos or people holding the thermos into pictures of the Melbourne airport waiting area and stuck it on his locker. He was not amused.

My mate then edited it into pictures of famous sights such as a viewing platform of niagra falls, people posing in front of Stonehenge, Arch de Triumph, etc etc. Each week we would stick one on his locker with a written letter (which i would write) talking about why I (being the cup) had to leave the relationship and explore the world, where I was, people I had met and drank out of me, where I was off too next.

Each week he would get more and more frustrated with the letters and EVERYONE in the year level couldnt wait for the new installment and no-one knew it was us. The cup went to about 9 different destinations over 9 weeks. The kid got so frustrated he started to stalk the hallways trying to spring people sticking it on his locker. The letters were pure classic too.... all 110 odd kids in our year level wanted to see the new picture and letter each week.

Might not seem like the most exciting or funny story to readers of BigFooty but it was one of my fondest memories of high school.

Damn coffee w***ers.

 

[Wahooti Fandango]

....seriously, I find them worse than wine w***ers.

And a disproportionate amount of them are Victorians, so there is bound to be a disproportionate amount of them on Bigfooty

But seriously, yes we understand that Melbourne has the best coffee in the known universe, but please, these tossers that go and say Oh I hate Sydney because you can't get a decent cup of coffee blah blah, Oh I couldn't live without my morning coffee from Dom's the Deigo in Doncaster just sounds so pretentious. But it's not just the preserve Victorian's, you can even be from Woolongong and be one....

Was not aware that quality coffee was available in Doncaster. Carlton would be more accurate.

Don't get me wrong, I like coffee, I just don't dig the tossers who turn their noses up at anything that hasn't been cryovaced directly from the Peruvian Jungle, hand picked by natives in a non exploitative environmentally friendly way, ground by Dominic's nonna and then purchased from a tool know all 38 year barista who for some reason thinks he's a star because he works s**t hours at some hipster joint.

Lold big time because so true.

 

[Shell]

But seriously, yes we understand that Melbourne has the best coffee in the known universe, but please, these tossers that go and say Oh I hate Sydney because you can't get a decent cup of coffee blah blah, Oh I couldn't live without my morning coffee from Dom's the Deigo in Doncaster just sounds so pretentious. But it's not just the preserve Victorian's, you can even be from Woolongong and be one....

ROFL.

Yeah I like coffee from a cafe, but I can drink nescafe from a foam cup at work too. I dont care tbh... ugh greek coffee tho is like tar. I'd by hyped up for days if I ever drank that.


My bf tho hates ALL hot drinks. Which i find a bit strange.. dunno why just do.

 

[Shell]

Not a coffee man at all but don't mind a cup of tea

Yeah I like tea too.

Gotta be the regular stuff tho- none of that fancy flavour s**t. My boss brought in a massive box of those- all different ones. Thought i'd try something new (cant remember the flavour). But the smell alone of it, literally made me almost barf.

 

[cats2rise]

Also I worked at a cafe for about 5 years during high school both in the kitchen and front of house and detest with a passion those who, by choice, order:
"Skinny soy decafe latte no sugar extra hot" and along those lines.

How about just GTFO of my cafe and let me get on with my job, w***er.

 

[Wahooti Fandango]

Larry David owns this thread.

[youtube]rBNOB7FkSSM[/youtube]

 

[THRILLHO]

Lol, loved the thermos story. High school stories like that just stay with you for years afterwards.

I like a good coffee, I'm not really a snob, I just like the beans not to be burnt and the milk not too hot. I can go without, but I find, when studying at home lately, it's nice to go for a walk and pick up a takeaway. Live in Essendon, so head to Denaro's most days. Have to move a bit further out north in a month and a tiny concern is finding another place that does a decent coffee.

The only coffee I drink are lattes or cappuccinos. Otherwise I'll happily drink tea. Probably find tea nicer to drink. There's something really nice about a cup of tea in winter. Girlfriend has introduced me to green tea as well. Never used to like it because, without milk in tea, I find it too watery and unpleasant, but slowly coming round to it.

"Skinny soy milk decafe latte no sugar extra hot" and along those lines.

The worst thing about these losers is they dont understand that you can't make a good coffee using soy or skim milk as the milk separates as it heats up. My girlfriend's mum is always banging on about good coffee (coffee snob) and she always orders skinny lattee. I always sfellow.

Maybe I am secretly a coffee snob?

 

[AtomicBlonde]

I HATE coffee, can't even stand the smell of the shite let alone the taste. It's vile, so vile that I won't kiss my partner after he's had one until he has something else to kill the flavour or it fades away.

I worked with a woman once who was so damn addicted to the stuff that she couldn't/wouldn't talk to anyone until she had three cups. One at home with breakfast and two in the studio between 8:30 and 9:00am. Without them she was vicious and when she snapped she made no apologies except to say, "I haven't had MY COFFEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEET." Total nutter.

 

[krisholio14]

I'm already a wine snob, a beer snob and a music snob.

Probably a good thing I don't like coffee.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

http://i.pbase.com/u35/jacko/upload/23085144.HowToSpotAw***er.bmp

Life's too short to drink crap coffee.

Think I'll go beat the bishop

 

[THRILLHO]

I worked with a woman once who was so damn addicted to the stuff that she couldn't/wouldn't talk to anyone until she had three cups. One at home with breakfast and two in the studio between 8:30 and 9:00am. Without them she was vicious and when she snapped she made no apologies except to say, "I haven't had MY COFFEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEET." Total nutter.

I really dislike people who play on the assumption that coffee wakens you and motivates you. They really overdo it as well.

Any mistake they make. HURR, I HAVENT HAD FIEV COFFEES YET. SORRY BOSS.

When I drink coffee I need a glass of water after it and I feel a bit down for fifteen or twenty minutes before the caffeine kicks in.

Eat an apple instead ffs.

 

[drd23]

Love the Thermos story!

And I always find it funny when people say they can't function without their 3 cups of coffee in the morning. By that stage of the addiction, the coffee isnt making them hyper-aware or anything like that, it's just getting them back to the normal state of awareness that non-coffee drinkers are normally at most days. It's their own damn fault if they can't function!

 

[Gus]

Nescafe blend 43 every morning. White with 2 sugars.

I'm better than you.

 

[WCErevival]

Flat white. Done. None of this fancy shite

 

[The Passenger]

I worked with a woman once who was so damn addicted to the stuff that she couldn't/wouldn't talk to anyone until she had three cups. One at home with breakfast and two in the studio between 8:30 and 9:00am. Without them she was vicious and when she snapped she made no apologies except to say, "I haven't had MY COFFEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEET." Total nutter.

when someone does this you should come into work the next day, act like a nutjob, and then tell them it's because you were late for work so you couldn't have your morning crank... it might make them realise how stupid of an excuse they are pulling.

 

[SugarShane]

Love this thread. I feel exactly the same as most others here. I'm about the only person in my workplace of about 15 who doesn't drink coffee. Hate just about everything about it.

 

[Damon_3388]

I don't drink coffee, and I simply can't stand people going on about their need for coffee, "good coffee", etc.

Even worse than coffee-drinking w***ers are the coffee-making w***ers - "baristas". Whenever I hear the term "barista", for some reason I always imagine people misinterpreting what the occupation is when told, and then later being disappointed when they find out the person in question isn't actually a high-powered lawyer (barrister), but simply makes coffees for a living. Apparently now you need to complete a three year course to become a fully qualified barista. Seriously, how hard is it to make a cup of coffee?