Crow's Jokes

[dansmith1988]

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

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Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

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A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

 

[Crowked]

PORT JOKES

A policeman is in a morgue finishing off some paperwork, when he sees a

naked body lying face down on a table. Upon further inspection, he

notices a cork stuck in the body's anus. Curiosity gets the better of

him and he gently removes the cork.

All of a sudden the policeman hears "It's the Power to win, we never

give in," so he quickly replaces the cork and rushes to find the

morgue attendant. When he finds him, he takes the attendant to the

body and instructs him to remove the cork.

The attendant, looking a little puzzled, removes the cork and suddenly

"It's the Power to win, we never give in" can be heard once more.

The policeman asks the attendant if he has ever experienced anything like
that before.

The attendant looks at the policeman in surprise and says to him ....

"Of course I have!!..... Thousands of ****************s sing that song !!"







Two young Port Power girls walk into a David Jones store, walk up to
the
perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Shazza sprays it on her
wrist
and smells it: "That's quite nice, innit, don't ya fink, Cheryl?"

Yeah, what's it called?"

"Viens a moi."

"VIENS A MOI, what the f*ck does that mean?"

At this stage the assistant offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is
French for "come to me".

Shazza takes another sniff and offers her arm to Cheryl, saying, "That
doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you,
Cheryl?"

 

[Crowked]

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

How long did iot take to change all the Ports to Crows mate?

 

[Blue Red and Gold]

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

are you related to PowerKnob?

 

[maccas_no1]

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

Ohh christ, stoppit please your killing me

 

[PowerKop]

Ohh christ, stoppit please your killing me

good

 

[True_Beleiver]

What do you do if your stuck in a room with a raging bear, a crows supporter, a shotgun with 2 bullets? You shoot the crows supporter twice

 

[bergkamp_scores]

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

Did you troll convictcreations.com and just change the names around?

 

[Mong]

What do you do if your stuck in a room with a raging bear, a crows supporter, a shotgun with 2 bullets? You shoot the crows supporter twice

Nice user name. That's GOLD.

 

[ExTasDeeMan]

by Effin Christ - who lets someones dad in this forum! Shane Bourne and the late Maurie Fields probably would have binned those son!

CROWS JOKES

I went to the shop to get a lemon and it cost me 30 cents, thought that was a bit rich and then it hit me that the Cows bought two and it cost them about ½ a million dollars (Carey and Burns)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three friends all die at the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was....

"How about those Crows, hey?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary teacher explains to her class that she is an Adelaide supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Adelaide fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Adelaide fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Adelaide fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Port Adelaide supporter, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Port Adelaide fan?" "Because my Mum is a Port Adelaide fan, and my Dad is an Port Adelaide fan, so I'm an Port Adelaide fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Port Adelaide fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Adelaide supporter."

 

[crazy_big_al]

u can mate em about any team and just change the name. All funny. All stupid

 

[PAFC2004]

I agree with big al... these jokes have been used so many times, for many different clubs.
Some are funny, but they tend to lose their effect when you hear them a second time... about a different club.

 

[Bomaz_Magic]

The only ones that are funny are the one's about Crows fans, after my little run in on their board I tend to agree with the sentiment of theses jokes.

 

[Thierry Henry]

by Effin Christ - who lets someones dad in this forum! Shane Bourne and the late Maurie Fields probably would have binned those son!

Did carey and burns play for Port Adelaide. No. Blows your theory away.

Anyway the crows trades and pick ups are enough to make me laugh.

 

[Altum Volantes]

"Andrew Jarman"

 

[dreamkillers]

How long did iot take to change all the Ports to Crows mate?

Probably the same time it took you to change the ones you posted - like most jokes they've been done for all teams at some stage in their life..........

 

[5107power]

Gary Ayres, AFC board, Neil Craig, Camry crow, AFC!

 

[Adrian Shelton]

This one should cover everyone here


Ian Downsbourough!!!

 

[RooDog]

What do you do if your stuck in a room with a raging bear, a crows supporter, a shotgun with 2 bullets? You shoot the crows supporter twice

your username

on a serious note this thread is pretty petty... all old and been done for most AFL teams

 

[dA Crow]

What do you do if your stuck in a room with a raging bear, a crows supporter, a shotgun with 2 bullets? You shoot the crows supporter twice

Well, being a port supporter I would be sure you could steal more bullets.

 

[Arsene Wenger]

Oldy but a goodie (back in the days when becks was at MANURE)

Man Utd coach ALex Ferguson bemused by his clubs poor form wanders down to London to chek up on Arsene Wenger and his training techniques. He observes some training and then Arsene speaks with Alex. Fergy asks him how he gets his players so mentally sharp. Arsene replies "simple" and he calls Dennis Bergkamp over. Arsene says to Dennis "dennis im not your brother, but i am still your fathers son - who am i?" To which Dennis replies " Thats easy boss - it is me." Alex ferguson is impressed and decides the following day to try this little test out on Becks.

SO the next day he calls becks over and says "david im not your brother but im still your fathers son - who am i?" "Jees boss, can u give me the night to think about that?" becks replies to which fergy obliges.

Absolutely bemused by the question becks decides to ring up his old mate Jaap Stam, he figures that he will be able to help since he plays on the continent, so he gets on to jaap and says " Helo mate i have a quick question - Im not your brother but im still your fathers son - who am i?" Jaap replies " Thats easy becks - its me"

Clearly chuffed by this becks rocks up to training the next day and fergy asks him " so david if im not your brother but i am still your fathers son who am i ?" Becks replies " easy boss - the answer is Jaap stam" Clearly ********ed off fergy repsonds " no u idiot its bloody dennis berkamp!"

 

[dA Crow]

Oldy but a goodie (back in the days when becks was at MANURE)

Man Utd coach ALex Ferguson bemused by his clubs poor form wanders down to London to chek up on Arsene Wenger and his training techniques. He observes some training and then Arsene speaks with Alex. Fergy asks him how he gets his players so mentally sharp. Arsene replies "simple" and he calls Dennis Bergkamp over. Arsene says to Dennis "dennis im not your brother, but i am still your fathers son - who am i?" To which Dennis replies " Thats easy boss - it is me." Alex ferguson is impressed and decides the following day to try this little test out on Becks.

SO the next day he calls becks over and says "david im not your brother but im still your fathers son - who am i?" "Jees boss, can u give me the night to think about that?" becks replies to which fergy obliges.

Absolutely bemused by the question becks decides to ring up his old mate Jaap Stam, he figures that he will be able to help since he plays on the continent, so he gets on to jaap and says " Helo mate i have a quick question - Im not your brother but im still your fathers son - who am i?" Jaap replies " Thats easy becks - its me"

Clearly chuffed by this becks rocks up to training the next day and fergy asks him " so david if im not your brother but i am still your fathers son who am i ?" Becks replies " easy boss - the answer is Jaap stam" Clearly ********ed off fergy repsonds " no u idiot its bloody dennis berkamp!"

Hoo hoo hoo, thats almost as funny as Arsene Wenger's next whinge

 

[Count Zero]

All Crows fans are blue rinsed, chardonnay sipping elitists who think that they are socially superior to everyone else. They never give a yelp at the footy except to shout "BALL", over and over and over. They will invariably walk out at the first hint of defeat.
All Port fans are pea-brained morons who would rather steal than buy, and are usually married to their siblings.
Now what we do now is just to endlessly repeat these stereotypes, with minor unimaginative variations, and call it.... Big Footy.

 

[afc9798]

All Crows fans are blue rinsed, chardonnay sipping elitists who think that they are socially superior to everyone else. They never give a yelp at the footy except to shout "BALL", over and over and over. They will invariably walk out at the first hint of defeat.
All Port fans are pea-brained morons who would rather steal than buy, and are usually married to their siblings.
Now what we do now is just to endlessly repeat these stereotypes, with minor unimaginative variations, and call it.... Big Footy.

At least half your post is correct And seeing as you're a Port supporter, I'll make it simple. Iwas referring to the bottom half of your post Now off you go don't you have an evening meal to steal for your family.....

 

[Jabber]

What do you do if your stuck in a room with a raging bear, a crows supporter, a shotgun with 2 bullets? You shoot the crows supporter twice

If you ask the admins nicely they might let you change your user name so that it's not so obvious you are a moron.