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Preview Gameday Thread. Hawks Vs Bombers
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Main question on everyones lips, who will go to Ben Stratton?....ooops wrong thread
Pretty confident about this game, we will not let this one slip 
LOOK OUT ess, we are coming and we will hit you hard.
LOOK OUT ess, we are coming and we will hit you hard.
The Bartos Report - Split Round- Hawthorn vs Essendon
It’s on again as the Hawks host the world’s most morally bankrupt sporting club at the MCG on Friday night football. It’s been a long time between drinks for the Hawks since we last experienced the glamour and over-priced light beer of FNF. We can look forward to the “Better Homes and Gardens Pre-game Show” followed by three of the ugliest/most visually offensive heads in Television football as Bruce “The Jockey” McAvaney, Dennis “Face like shrapnel” Cometti and Tom “Mascara and Lipstick” Harley. So Rufus, Brint and Meekus will undoubtedly host an explosive opening montage to excite fans like never before as they show the bumps, biffs and brawlers from the last 30 years where you could be forgiven for thinking that the ball is never bounced when the Hawks play the Nazi party.
The papers have done their best as always to fire the Bombers up for the game while quietfully smoothing over ugly past digressions from players in red and black. There was a fluff piece in today’s paper where Michael Hurley explains his shame in bashing an Indian cab driver who incredibly wanted the fare he was owed. Hurley apologised to the Essendon football club and promised to make it up to them. Apparently the cab driver enjoyed getting kicked in the nuts by the violent youth and doesn’t need any help or an apology because there was no mention of Hurley plans to apologise to the victim or “make it up” to him.
If that fluff piece wasn’t enough for you to stomach, there was another article where superstar semi-tagger (AKA DreamTeam nightmare) Andrew Welsh also talked about his previous indiscretions and the embarassment it brought him after kneeing Xavier Ellis in the balls last time we played them. Once again he apologised to the club but Xavier Ellis’ chance of reproducing misses out on an apology.
For a club I hate so much writing one of these abusive previews should come quite easily but when you take the time to individually assess their players you realise that this actually one of the least interesting clubs going around. Aside from the Indian basher, the bizarrely un-reportable thug David Hille, the cheap shot Welsh, the metro-sexual comb-over McVeigh and the Ecstacy king-pin Nathan Lovett-Murray there are some very ordinary characters at Essendon. If they played for any other club than Essendon we probably wouldn’t have heard of most of them (also known as the North Melbourne syndrome). Eagerly awaiting the team changes I saw the names In: Prismall, Atkinson, Hooker - Out: Dyson, Dempsey, Myer and felt absolutely no optimism, despair, joy, depression, fear or any other emotion. It felt like I was reading the names of the death toll in a Chinese earthquake. This club is so devoid of star players now after Goldy Locks and the Sniper left that they have to plaster their posters and membership campaigns with 2nd year players and injury prone beanpole centre-half forwards. Everytime I ask a bombers fan how they went after a loss (one of my favourite pastimes) I always have to listen to crap like “Ohhh Gumbleton was good, I mean he was REALLY good, he’s going to be better than Carey and Ablett fused together by some radical German surgeon.” Shocked and impressed (mostly about the advances in plastic surgery) I demand his statistics, “He kicked 2 goals and took a few marks but they were good marks man and he really presented”.
WHOOOOPDEEEE DOOO! He’s a goddamn number 2 draft pick! He’s 3 metres tall, of course he’ll take a few marks! 2 goals is bloody pathetic for your only focal point in the forward line (thanks to Mark Williams showing that he’ll only ever play for Hawthorn), of course he’s going to be involved in the game. It’s like babbling on about a Geelong midfielder racking up 20 possessions. Hurley played a very good game against our pathetic defence last year and I commend him on that (although 4 goals is hardly 9 or 10) but keep it all in perspective you ignorant twits. They’re both just good average young forwards who’ve shown nothing on the field that suggests they’ll be anything super special. Off-field Gumbleton has shown that his spine might collapse at any moment while Hurley has earned a criminal record in his first year out of high-school (something that most Carlton & Collingwood players would be envious of).
Moving on, Hawthorn has picked practically a full-strength side with the return of Bateman and Young but unfortunately my man Chubbs Peterson has had to make way thanks to faulty lights at the MCG (WOW, they weren’t kidding as children actually mimic the behaviour of people like Mal Brown and Dipper). The Hawks have gone for blistering pace to counter the Bombers game plan (avoid all non-Goldspink umpired contests and run like the police are chasing you) but we’ll be heading into this game with ruckmen who aren’t superstar midfielders/forwards so we can expect a pretty settled Hawthorn set-up.
Hawthorn vs Essendon Brawl Preview:
Surprisingly with the ommission of Carl Peterson we’ve lost one of our up-and-coming punch-on merchants (see Chubbs vs Chad Cornes) and replaced him with Bateman who’s too small to fight but happy to lay cheap ones that EVERYONE sees. Then again his role in the team might be to lay the cheap bump that starts the brawl now that Sniper Lloyd isn’t playing. I’m hoping that the fighting power of Hodge, Lewis (co-captains of fighting), Guerra (vice-captain), Osborne (deputy-vice captain) the much improved Birchall with fighting newcomers Muston, Renouf and Schoenmakers should be enough to cause the most facial injuries during the fight yet receive the least amount of suspensions at the tribunal. We really need some of the guys like Skipper, Murphy, Sewell and Young to ensure that Essendon’s best fighters namely Nathan Lovett-Murray who has street fighting experience (not the video game either) and Mark “Balding in denial and pretend tough guy” McVeigh are both held down sufficiently allowing some of our youngsters like Rioli, Stratton and Ellis to lay a couple of big punches and get some valuable street cred. The “McPhee Move” as it’s commonly known these days has become a very important component of the footy brawl as you can fight for longer and with more power as you don’t have to worry about defending yourself.
TAB Sportsbet have been kind enough to provide some odds on the impending brawl with a few tasty options available:
Winner of the Brawl:
Hawthorn - $1.85
Essendon - $2.30
No result - $6.03
Richie Vandenberg Medal (Most weeks at Tribunal):
Nathan Lovett-Murray - $2.58
Jordan Lewis - $4.30
Michael Hurley - $4.45
Luke Hodge - $4.75
Alistair Clarkson - $5.10
Matthew Lloyd Medal (Brawl instigator):
Chance Bateman - $1.30
Mark McVeigh - $3.00
Sam Mitchell - $4.80
Brent Stanton - $141.00
If there’s a fight or not, it’s going to be a cracking game unless we lose in which case you can join me as we set fire to the Peel Hotel (Essendon players after-party function) and turn over a few cars to celebrate world football hooliganism. It only took 1 game and 4 goals for me to lose interest in the World Cup so I’m all about the Hawks winning tonight and no win gives me greater pleasure than a smashing of those mother-f***ing scum bastards. My housemates, my other mates, my co-workers, my cousins and uncles, my family friends and my heroin dealer are all bandwagon red and black and they know I’ll be a very unlikeable person for the next few weeks should we have a win.
Hawks by 20 points.
Neville Bartos’ “Tassie Rampage III” report is still being written and should be posted here sometime next week. Stay tuned.
It’s on again as the Hawks host the world’s most morally bankrupt sporting club at the MCG on Friday night football. It’s been a long time between drinks for the Hawks since we last experienced the glamour and over-priced light beer of FNF. We can look forward to the “Better Homes and Gardens Pre-game Show” followed by three of the ugliest/most visually offensive heads in Television football as Bruce “The Jockey” McAvaney, Dennis “Face like shrapnel” Cometti and Tom “Mascara and Lipstick” Harley. So Rufus, Brint and Meekus will undoubtedly host an explosive opening montage to excite fans like never before as they show the bumps, biffs and brawlers from the last 30 years where you could be forgiven for thinking that the ball is never bounced when the Hawks play the Nazi party.
The papers have done their best as always to fire the Bombers up for the game while quietfully smoothing over ugly past digressions from players in red and black. There was a fluff piece in today’s paper where Michael Hurley explains his shame in bashing an Indian cab driver who incredibly wanted the fare he was owed. Hurley apologised to the Essendon football club and promised to make it up to them. Apparently the cab driver enjoyed getting kicked in the nuts by the violent youth and doesn’t need any help or an apology because there was no mention of Hurley plans to apologise to the victim or “make it up” to him.
If that fluff piece wasn’t enough for you to stomach, there was another article where superstar semi-tagger (AKA DreamTeam nightmare) Andrew Welsh also talked about his previous indiscretions and the embarassment it brought him after kneeing Xavier Ellis in the balls last time we played them. Once again he apologised to the club but Xavier Ellis’ chance of reproducing misses out on an apology.
For a club I hate so much writing one of these abusive previews should come quite easily but when you take the time to individually assess their players you realise that this actually one of the least interesting clubs going around. Aside from the Indian basher, the bizarrely un-reportable thug David Hille, the cheap shot Welsh, the metro-sexual comb-over McVeigh and the Ecstacy king-pin Nathan Lovett-Murray there are some very ordinary characters at Essendon. If they played for any other club than Essendon we probably wouldn’t have heard of most of them (also known as the North Melbourne syndrome). Eagerly awaiting the team changes I saw the names In: Prismall, Atkinson, Hooker - Out: Dyson, Dempsey, Myer and felt absolutely no optimism, despair, joy, depression, fear or any other emotion. It felt like I was reading the names of the death toll in a Chinese earthquake. This club is so devoid of star players now after Goldy Locks and the Sniper left that they have to plaster their posters and membership campaigns with 2nd year players and injury prone beanpole centre-half forwards. Everytime I ask a bombers fan how they went after a loss (one of my favourite pastimes) I always have to listen to crap like “Ohhh Gumbleton was good, I mean he was REALLY good, he’s going to be better than Carey and Ablett fused together by some radical German surgeon.” Shocked and impressed (mostly about the advances in plastic surgery) I demand his statistics, “He kicked 2 goals and took a few marks but they were good marks man and he really presented”.
WHOOOOPDEEEE DOOO! He’s a goddamn number 2 draft pick! He’s 3 metres tall, of course he’ll take a few marks! 2 goals is bloody pathetic for your only focal point in the forward line (thanks to Mark Williams showing that he’ll only ever play for Hawthorn), of course he’s going to be involved in the game. It’s like babbling on about a Geelong midfielder racking up 20 possessions. Hurley played a very good game against our pathetic defence last year and I commend him on that (although 4 goals is hardly 9 or 10) but keep it all in perspective you ignorant twits. They’re both just good average young forwards who’ve shown nothing on the field that suggests they’ll be anything super special. Off-field Gumbleton has shown that his spine might collapse at any moment while Hurley has earned a criminal record in his first year out of high-school (something that most Carlton & Collingwood players would be envious of).
Moving on, Hawthorn has picked practically a full-strength side with the return of Bateman and Young but unfortunately my man Chubbs Peterson has had to make way thanks to faulty lights at the MCG (WOW, they weren’t kidding as children actually mimic the behaviour of people like Mal Brown and Dipper). The Hawks have gone for blistering pace to counter the Bombers game plan (avoid all non-Goldspink umpired contests and run like the police are chasing you) but we’ll be heading into this game with ruckmen who aren’t superstar midfielders/forwards so we can expect a pretty settled Hawthorn set-up.
Hawthorn vs Essendon Brawl Preview:
Surprisingly with the ommission of Carl Peterson we’ve lost one of our up-and-coming punch-on merchants (see Chubbs vs Chad Cornes) and replaced him with Bateman who’s too small to fight but happy to lay cheap ones that EVERYONE sees. Then again his role in the team might be to lay the cheap bump that starts the brawl now that Sniper Lloyd isn’t playing. I’m hoping that the fighting power of Hodge, Lewis (co-captains of fighting), Guerra (vice-captain), Osborne (deputy-vice captain) the much improved Birchall with fighting newcomers Muston, Renouf and Schoenmakers should be enough to cause the most facial injuries during the fight yet receive the least amount of suspensions at the tribunal. We really need some of the guys like Skipper, Murphy, Sewell and Young to ensure that Essendon’s best fighters namely Nathan Lovett-Murray who has street fighting experience (not the video game either) and Mark “Balding in denial and pretend tough guy” McVeigh are both held down sufficiently allowing some of our youngsters like Rioli, Stratton and Ellis to lay a couple of big punches and get some valuable street cred. The “McPhee Move” as it’s commonly known these days has become a very important component of the footy brawl as you can fight for longer and with more power as you don’t have to worry about defending yourself.
TAB Sportsbet have been kind enough to provide some odds on the impending brawl with a few tasty options available:
Winner of the Brawl:
Hawthorn - $1.85
Essendon - $2.30
No result - $6.03
Richie Vandenberg Medal (Most weeks at Tribunal):
Nathan Lovett-Murray - $2.58
Jordan Lewis - $4.30
Michael Hurley - $4.45
Luke Hodge - $4.75
Alistair Clarkson - $5.10
Matthew Lloyd Medal (Brawl instigator):
Chance Bateman - $1.30
Mark McVeigh - $3.00
Sam Mitchell - $4.80
Brent Stanton - $141.00
If there’s a fight or not, it’s going to be a cracking game unless we lose in which case you can join me as we set fire to the Peel Hotel (Essendon players after-party function) and turn over a few cars to celebrate world football hooliganism. It only took 1 game and 4 goals for me to lose interest in the World Cup so I’m all about the Hawks winning tonight and no win gives me greater pleasure than a smashing of those mother-f***ing scum bastards. My housemates, my other mates, my co-workers, my cousins and uncles, my family friends and my heroin dealer are all bandwagon red and black and they know I’ll be a very unlikeable person for the next few weeks should we have a win.
Hawks by 20 points.
Neville Bartos’ “Tassie Rampage III” report is still being written and should be posted here sometime next week. Stay tuned.
My old man is a die-hard, 70 year old Bombers man and let me tell you, when the Hawks play the Bombers all hell breaks loose in our house!
He actually believes the umps (especially McLaren and the other Mc(burny?)) favour us and hate the scum more than us.
He cannot stand Campbell Brown and while admitting he is hard on the field, he thinks he is a depth player at best, that he is not tough when he tries to rough up opponents and he will never let me forget the time Browny slapped, yes slapped, a bombers player on the arm a few years back.
Unlike most opposition supporters, he cannot even admit that Buddy is hard done by at times in regards to umpiring and if he gives away a free there is apparently no doubt that the free was their.
As for Crawf, he was an average footballer and a little overrated according to him
Now I absolutely realise he is trying to stir me up as I'm sure some of you can relate to, and I give it back to him just as good (team of snipers, druggies and wife beaters) but it really makes for one hell of a night. The neighbours must love it!
Punish them tonight Hawthorn - Four quarters of hell!
He actually believes the umps (especially McLaren and the other Mc(burny?)) favour us and hate the scum more than us.
He cannot stand Campbell Brown and while admitting he is hard on the field, he thinks he is a depth player at best, that he is not tough when he tries to rough up opponents and he will never let me forget the time Browny slapped, yes slapped, a bombers player on the arm a few years back.
Unlike most opposition supporters, he cannot even admit that Buddy is hard done by at times in regards to umpiring and if he gives away a free there is apparently no doubt that the free was their.
As for Crawf, he was an average footballer and a little overrated according to him
Now I absolutely realise he is trying to stir me up as I'm sure some of you can relate to, and I give it back to him just as good (team of snipers, druggies and wife beaters
) but it really makes for one hell of a night. The neighbours must love it!Punish them tonight Hawthorn - Four quarters of hell!
Off The Couch
TheBrownDog
- Oct 4, 2007
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Really nervous about this game - god I hate the scum.
Will be listening to this game on the radio while I wait for better homes and garden to finish (by then will know the outcome) and it can either make or break my weekend. Can never watch the game if the outcome is poor and effectively it will ruin my entire weekend - come on boys do the right thing in this looooong weekend of football - I don't want to have to stew over this for over a fortnight.
Will be listening to this game on the radio while I wait for better homes and garden to finish (by then will know the outcome) and it can either make or break my weekend. Can never watch the game if the outcome is poor and effectively it will ruin my entire weekend - come on boys do the right thing in this looooong weekend of football - I don't want to have to stew over this for over a fortnight.
Strapping Young Lad
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- Apr 19, 2006
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Let's get it on!!
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This game will go a long way towards shaping the eight.
Good luck.
Good luck.
I am nervous, I think this game will be very telling about progress we have made since the first 7 rounds. Go Hawks
And I am in Tasmania so I get the game live on TV woot woot
And I am in Tasmania so I get the game live on TV woot woot
Dinsdale
®Moderation of beer©
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As I wipe a tear from my eye, from laughing too much, while bashing my pasty euro-stock fingers into this keyboard, I take great offence at this:
they are Krauts, not germans. And next time Nev, please dont mention those 2 morally inept ex-players in the same sentance. Its too much like journalistic diarohhea, you're wasting keystrokes on them
Excuse me while I warm up my wireless to listen to the game...
they are Krauts, not germans. And next time Nev, please dont mention those 2 morally inept ex-players in the same sentance. Its too much like journalistic diarohhea, you're wasting keystrokes on them
Excuse me while I warm up my wireless to listen to the game...
Isn't this actually the very FIRST reunion of the remaining 2008 flag bearers.
Actually the first time that those remaining heroes have actually graced the G in game day combat fatigues, all together!!!!!
Actually the first time that those remaining heroes have actually graced the G in game day combat fatigues, all together!!!!!
Isn't this actually the very FIRST reunion of the remaining 2008 flag bearers.
Actually the first time that those remaining heroes have actually graced the G in game day combat fatigues, all together!!!!!
Campbell Brown?
Also, can someone tell me, have the scum won the last 3 times we have played, or 4 times? Either way, been a long time between drinks...
3 times... We touched them up in 08 from memory...
The Big JPOD
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Its pooring rain in Geelong so there is prob rain on the way soon! Who will this favour? Essendons Runners or Hawks bigger bodies? Should be a ripper!
Spudwick
Debutant
Great Gameday review from Nev Bartos there, always enjoy your insightful views.
View from Sniper Lloyds position on the wing early in the third quarter, rd 22 2009.
Lets smash these scummers 2nite boys! Im sensing a 10 goal + victory
View from Sniper Lloyds position on the wing early in the third quarter, rd 22 2009.
Lets smash these scummers 2nite boys! Im sensing a 10 goal + victory
Early signs are ok.....Missing way to many easy shots. Schoey off to an average start. Lacks intensity. Rioli on fire early.
MUSTO GREAT GOAL!!!!!
MUSTO GREAT GOAL!!!!!
What The.....CYRIL!!!!!! One hander! But a poster....
Dubz
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Good quarter from the boys! Just need to convert a few more shots at goal. I also wish some of the guys would take a mark in the back line.
Buddy brilliance, Cyril has been great and Burgers to finish it off!
Keep it up Hawkers!
Buddy brilliance, Cyril has been great and Burgers to finish it off!
Keep it up Hawkers!
Strapping Young Lad
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Good first quarter for pressure, we're up and about.
Got to kick goals!!
Must stay on top of them.
Got to kick goals!!
Must stay on top of them.
Well good quarter from the boys and I would only have one real criticism...It was a little too easy in the first 10 mins for them to score when they went inside 50. Zone looked a little shakey and unable to get back in time however this improved later in the quarter. Oh, and we couldn't kick a goal to save ourselves!
Big props to Musto who is doing a great defensive job on Fletch (noone saw that coming). Musto and Buddy both kicked miraculous goals from the boundary and Cyril's one-hander was 'delicious' to say the least.
Signs are good. Keep it up Hawks!
Big props to Musto who is doing a great defensive job on Fletch (noone saw that coming). Musto and Buddy both kicked miraculous goals from the boundary and Cyril's one-hander was 'delicious' to say the least.
Signs are good. Keep it up Hawks!
I'm getting a stiffy
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