Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

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CakeEater said:
Worked with someone who posed in Zoo real girls.

Sent round an All sites email to the 40,000 employees in the business asking them to vote for her

The link was her lying on the bed showing more cracks than a day 5 waca pitch.

She was unsuprisingly unemployed about 20 mins after she sent the email.
Click to expand...

Of course in some organizations that gets you a job a PA for a high up.
 
Plugger35 said:
You know Schache is bad when he can't get a game ahead of Josh Bruce, lucky to only be 19th.
Click to expand...

And you wanted a first round draft pick for him...
 

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phantom13 said:
Went to school with a girl that did some promo work, she was in zoo back when that was a thing. Same deal, good body, average head, they changed her name and totally made up some story about her blowing a boyfriend in a helicopter.
Click to expand...
I had another work mate who got her back tattoos featured in the tatt section.
Let's just say the tattoo artist had a large canvas to work with.
 
Player #14 - Stephen Coniglio
1606777377503.png
Pictured: Cogs gets a handball away during the 'grand final chokers cup'

Stephen 'Cogs' Coniglio is the highest paid AFL captain ever to be dropped during the Home and Away season.

A little history lesson. After being invented by some coke fiend with a ponytail a few years ago and then being granted more concessions than any expansion club in the history of the AFL, the GWS Giants finally made the Grand Final in 2019. Unfortunately they only kicked 3 goals that day, much like Tom Boyd did in 2016 by himself. In the wash-up, Cogs was one of the hottest uncontracted players on the market. By that I mean he was wanted by clubs that can't develop their own players, not that... look, nevermind.

GWS decided to move heaven and earth to keep him away from Hawthorn and Carlton - giving him a monster seven year deal that 'guarantees' him in excess of $1 million each year, and dumping their co-captain model and making Cogs the sole GWS captain for 2020. They also shed a bunch of players, although that was as much to keep with their annual tradition as it was to manage their salary cap.
The 2019 Grand Finalists then shat the bed in a massive way this year, and their captain bears a lot of responsibility for that. His 2020 was poor by his own standards, and really really poor for a $1m player.
Cogs went from a 25 touch, goal per game mid to a 20 touch, goal every three games mid with ball use that was 'just ok'. It was a return on investment so poor I can only describe it in picture form:

1606777991698.png
1606778026279.png
1606778112173.png
1606778080371.png

This all came to a head when Cogs was dropped ahead of GWS' round 17 clash against Melbourne, although he was back a week later to get smashed by the Saints in round 18. This led the Giants to release a media statement assuring fan(s) that Cogs would remain captain for 2021, although there isn't anyone else left who can captain anyway. 'Choosing' Cogs to remain captain is akin to Susan Boyle 'choosing' to remain celibate, although if she signed up to BigFooty a drunken Duritz would undoubtedly PM her at some point.

Fun fact: Cogs was the first AFL captain to be dropped since John Worsfold in 1998

Stephen also has a 'keen interest in fashion' and an interest in restaurants, so given developments this year he would be awarded the George Colombaris 2020 Achievement award if there was one. Maybe we should slip it into one of the 2 or 3 rounds next year that aren't themed.

Anyway Cogs, enjoy the off-season. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
 
Mofra said:
Player #14 - Stephen Coniglio
View attachment 1021062
Pictured: Cogs gets a handball away during the 'grand final chokers cup'

Stephen 'Cogs' Coniglio is the highest paid AFL captain ever to be dropped during the Home and Away season.

A little history lesson. After being invented by some coke fiend with a ponytail a few years ago and then being granted more concessions than any expansion club in the history of the AFL, the GWS Giants finally made the Grand Final in 2019. Unfortunately they only kicked 3 goals that day, much like Tom Boyd did in 2016 by himself. In the wash-up, Cogs was one of the hottest uncontracted players on the market. By that I mean he was wanted by clubs that can't develop their own players, not that... look, nevermind.

GWS decided to move heaven and earth to keep him away from Hawthorn and Carlton - giving him a monster seven year deal that 'guarantees' him in excess of $1 million each year, and dumping their co-captain model and making Cogs the sole GWS captain for 2020. They also shed a bunch of players, although that was as much to keep with their annual tradition as it was to manage their salary cap.
The 2019 Grand Finalists then shat the bed in a massive way this year, and their captain bears a lot of responsibility for that. His 2020 was poor by his own standards, and really really poor for a $1m player.
Cogs went from a 25 touch, goal per game mid to a 20 touch, goal every three games mid with ball use that was 'just ok'. It was a return on investment so poor I can only describe it in picture form:

View attachment 1021065
View attachment 1021066
View attachment 1021068
View attachment 1021067

This all came to a head when Cogs was dropped ahead of GWS' round 17 clash against Melbourne, although he was back a week later to get smashed by the Saints in round 18. This led the Giants to release a media statement assuring fan(s) that Cogs would remain captain for 2021, although there isn't anyone else left who can captain anyway. 'Choosing' Cogs to remain captain is akin to Susan Boyle 'choosing' to remain celibate, although if she signed up to BigFooty a drunken Duritz would undoubtedly PM her at some point.

Fun fact: Cogs was the first AFL captain to be dropped since John Worsfold in 1998

Stephen also has a 'keen interest in fashion' and an interest in restaurants, so given developments this year he would be awarded the George Colombaris 2020 Achievement award if there was one. Maybe we should slip it into one of the 2 or 3 rounds next year that aren't themed.

Anyway Cogs, enjoy the off-season. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...

I like you putting the boot into a genuine (under preforming) star - again. Nice one
 
Disappointing no mention of the "ambassador" payment Steve Hocki.. uhh I mean the AFL put up to keep Coniglio at GWS in 2020, or discussion of whether it was better value than Brooke Cotchin's hotel quarantine suite.

How strange that Hocking didn't produce a similar "ambassador" payment to keep Jeremy Cameron at the Giants when he wanted to defect to Geelong.... what could possibly be different about their circumstances I wonder? :think:
 
Mofra said:
Stephen also has a 'keen interest in fashion' and an interest in restaurants, so given developments this year he would be awarded the George Colombaris 2020 Achievement award if there was one. Maybe we should slip it into one of the 2 or 3 rounds next year that aren't themed.
Click to expand...
Another restaurant owner stealing wages.
 
Waiting for the pages and pages of posts from GWS supporters/followers/fans/and member venting their (her) spleen(s) on yet another assault on their franchise.
 

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hawkman said:
Wouldn't Geelong need to be involved in the Grand Final chokers cup?
Click to expand...

I believe Dangerfield has entered thinking it's a solo event...

Gary Rohan's response "Hold my Beer".....
 
Player #13 - Sydney Stack
1606875922697.png
Pictured: I wonder what Tommy Hafey or Allan Jeans would have done with this

Sydney Stack is a Richmond player who makes Nick Kyrgios seem like a mature, well disciplined fellow.
He burst on the scene last year playing 17 games in an excellent debut season. Unfortunately he didn't so much step up this year as he stepped in a pothole, then on a rake under a ladder, then on a black cat on the way to smashing a mirror.

Stack managed only 9 games this year in which he went backwards at a rate of knots, save for his clanger count which doubled. The real reason he is here, as you all can guess, is he matched this poor performance on field with a little misdemeanour off it.

While in a Gold Coast hub, Stack decided to pop out to the town with fellow young player Callum Coleman-Jones (god with a name like that I bet Callum has strong opinions about trout pate). This in itself was a Covid breach and bad enough by itself, but their judgement gets worse from here. They decide to hit up the strippers. No wait, they decided to hit up what passes for a strip joint on the Gold Coast:

1606876597926.png
Pictured: Coleman-Jones would have felt comfortable here as I'm guessing most of the girls have hyphenated first names

After making an arse of themselves and being asked to leave by the manager of the venue, presumably with the bluntness of a Nathan Buckley exit interview, they decided it was time for 3.30am kebabs because they are finely tuned, professional athletes.

1606876787276.png
Pictured: Tigerboyz's surveillance camera business is clearly doing well

They then get into a brawl against a drunk local and police are called. Legend has it that Jack Riewoldt came to the rescue by heroically throwing himself on the ground next to them and looking around for assistance.
The AFL sanctioned the pair, with a $100k fine issued (of which Stack and CCJ are meant to cover $75k of it). Given that Stack had his card declined when he tried to buy the first pair of kebabs, the chances of that fine being paid on time are about as likely as an Essendon finals win. They were also immediately sent back to Victoria, where there weren't even strip clubs and late night kebab shops open.

Sydney Stack was also suspended for 10 games which really hurt Richmond on their way to another flag with a non-best 22 player unavailable for selection. Gee the AFL know how to get tough don't they? James Hird's punishment (a study trip to France) seems positively draconian by comparison. I'm pretty sure Stack doesn't have an illegitimate child from his suspension period though.

Fun fact: Sydney Stack was dating Mon Conti from the AFLW this year, in news that left many fans shocked to find out there was a straight woman playing AFLW.

Sydney, Stacky, good luck next year with your direct debit to the AFL to pay your fine. Welcoem to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
 
Doashuey said:
'Legend has it that Jack Riewoldt came to the rescue by heroically throwing himself on the ground next to them and looking around for assistance.'

^^THIS is the content I'm here for.
Click to expand...
Jack's maybe not an expert at assisting other people to get home, if he can't remember his own ticket!

e1ba24b168b9e046b4e0cb2fc296b9d7
 
Mofra said:
Player #13 - Sydney Stack
View attachment 1021507
Pictured: I wonder what Tommy Hafey or Allan Jeans would have done with this

Sydney Stack is a Richmond player who makes Nick Kyrgios seem like a mature, well disciplined fellow.
He burst on the scene last year playing 17 games in an excellent debut season. Unfortunately he didn't so much step up this year as he stepped in a pothole, then on a rake under a ladder, then on a black cat on the way to smashing a mirror.

Stack managed only 9 games this year in which he went backwards at a rate of knots, save for his clanger count which doubled. The real reason he is here, as you all can guess, is he matched this poor performance on field with a little misdemeanour off it.

While in a Gold Coast hub, Stack decided to pop out to the town with fellow young player Callum Coleman-Jones (god with a name like that I bet Callum has strong opinions about trout pate). This in itself was a Covid breach and bad enough by itself, but their judgement gets worse from here. They decide to hit up the strippers. No wait, they decided to hit up what passes for a strip joint on the Gold Coast:

View attachment 1021514
Pictured: Coleman-Jones would have felt comfortable here as I'm guessing most of the girls have hyphenated first names

After making an arse of themselves and being asked to leave by the manager of the venue, presumably with the bluntness of a Nathan Buckley exit interview, they decided it was time for 3.30am kebabs because they are finely tuned, professional athletes.

View attachment 1021517
Pictured: Tigerboyz's surveillance camera business is clearly doing well

They then get into a brawl against a drunk local and police are called. Legend has it that Jack Riewoldt came to the rescue by heroically throwing himself on the ground next to them and looking around for assistance.
The AFL sanctioned the pair, with a $100k fine issued (of which Stack and CCJ are meant to cover $75k of it). Given that Stack had his card declined when he tried to buy the first pair of kebabs, the chances of that fine being paid on time are about as likely as an Essendon finals win. They were also immediately sent back to Victoria, where there weren't even strip clubs and late night kebab shops open.

Sydney Stack was also suspended for 10 games which really hurt Richmond on their way to another flag with a non-best 22 player unavailable for selection. Gee the AFL know how to get tough don't they? James Hird's punishment (a study trip to France) seems positively draconian by comparison. I'm pretty sure Stack doesn't have an illegitimate child from his suspension period though.

Fun fact: Sydney Stack was dating Mon Conti from the AFLW this year, in news that left many fans shocked to find out there was a straight woman playing AFLW.

Sydney, Stacky, good luck next year with your direct debit to the AFL to pay your fine. Welcoem to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...
Harsh... but very ****ing fair!!
 
Mofra said:
Player #13 - Sydney Stack
View attachment 1021507
Pictured: I wonder what Tommy Hafey or Allan Jeans would have done with this

Sydney Stack is a Richmond player who makes Nick Kyrgios seem like a mature, well disciplined fellow.
He burst on the scene last year playing 17 games in an excellent debut season. Unfortunately he didn't so much step up this year as he stepped in a pothole, then on a rake under a ladder, then on a black cat on the way to smashing a mirror.

Stack managed only 9 games this year in which he went backwards at a rate of knots, save for his clanger count which doubled. The real reason he is here, as you all can guess, is he matched this poor performance on field with a little misdemeanour off it.

While in a Gold Coast hub, Stack decided to pop out to the town with fellow young player Callum Coleman-Jones (god with a name like that I bet Callum has strong opinions about trout pate). This in itself was a Covid breach and bad enough by itself, but their judgement gets worse from here. They decide to hit up the strippers. No wait, they decided to hit up what passes for a strip joint on the Gold Coast:

View attachment 1021514
Pictured: Coleman-Jones would have felt comfortable here as I'm guessing most of the girls have hyphenated first names

After making an arse of themselves and being asked to leave by the manager of the venue, presumably with the bluntness of a Nathan Buckley exit interview, they decided it was time for 3.30am kebabs because they are finely tuned, professional athletes.

View attachment 1021517
Pictured: Tigerboyz's surveillance camera business is clearly doing well

They then get into a brawl against a drunk local and police are called. Legend has it that Jack Riewoldt came to the rescue by heroically throwing himself on the ground next to them and looking around for assistance.
The AFL sanctioned the pair, with a $100k fine issued (of which Stack and CCJ are meant to cover $75k of it). Given that Stack had his card declined when he tried to buy the first pair of kebabs, the chances of that fine being paid on time are about as likely as an Essendon finals win. They were also immediately sent back to Victoria, where there weren't even strip clubs and late night kebab shops open.

Sydney Stack was also suspended for 10 games which really hurt Richmond on their way to another flag with a non-best 22 player unavailable for selection. Gee the AFL know how to get tough don't they? James Hird's punishment (a study trip to France) seems positively draconian by comparison. I'm pretty sure Stack doesn't have an illegitimate child from his suspension period though.

Fun fact: Sydney Stack was dating Mon Conti from the AFLW this year, in news that left many fans shocked to find out there was a straight woman playing AFLW.

Sydney, Stacky, good luck next year with your direct debit to the AFL to pay your fine. Welcoem to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...
How youre not chased by zoo n picture magazine is a farce!
 
Mofra said:
Player #14 - Stephen Coniglio
View attachment 1021062
Pictured: Cogs gets a handball away during the 'grand final chokers cup'

Stephen 'Cogs' Coniglio is the highest paid AFL captain ever to be dropped during the Home and Away season.

A little history lesson. After being invented by some coke fiend with a ponytail a few years ago and then being granted more concessions than any expansion club in the history of the AFL, the GWS Giants finally made the Grand Final in 2019. Unfortunately they only kicked 3 goals that day, much like Tom Boyd did in 2016 by himself. In the wash-up, Cogs was one of the hottest uncontracted players on the market. By that I mean he was wanted by clubs that can't develop their own players, not that... look, nevermind.

GWS decided to move heaven and earth to keep him away from Hawthorn and Carlton - giving him a monster seven year deal that 'guarantees' him in excess of $1 million each year, and dumping their co-captain model and making Cogs the sole GWS captain for 2020. They also shed a bunch of players, although that was as much to keep with their annual tradition as it was to manage their salary cap.
The 2019 Grand Finalists then shat the bed in a massive way this year, and their captain bears a lot of responsibility for that. His 2020 was poor by his own standards, and really really poor for a $1m player.
Cogs went from a 25 touch, goal per game mid to a 20 touch, goal every three games mid with ball use that was 'just ok'. It was a return on investment so poor I can only describe it in picture form:

View attachment 1021065
View attachment 1021066
View attachment 1021068
View attachment 1021067

This all came to a head when Cogs was dropped ahead of GWS' round 17 clash against Melbourne, although he was back a week later to get smashed by the Saints in round 18. This led the Giants to release a media statement assuring fan(s) that Cogs would remain captain for 2021, although there isn't anyone else left who can captain anyway. 'Choosing' Cogs to remain captain is akin to Susan Boyle 'choosing' to remain celibate, although if she signed up to BigFooty a drunken Duritz would undoubtedly PM her at some point.

Fun fact: Cogs was the first AFL captain to be dropped since John Worsfold in 1998

Stephen also has a 'keen interest in fashion' and an interest in restaurants, so given developments this year he would be awarded the George Colombaris 2020 Achievement award if there was one. Maybe we should slip it into one of the 2 or 3 rounds next year that aren't themed.

Anyway Cogs, enjoy the off-season. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...

Best use of Tom Boyd ever. Well played. The top 10 must be HUGE if Cogs didnt make the cut.
 
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