Official Match Thread Season 37 Round 14 - Coney Island Warriors v Fighting Furies at Van Corlandt Park

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Raveneyes first wazzah to 300, fantastic effort my friend.

Hope the sim does the righteous and deliver a random win for you.

300 games for 1 SFA club is a combination of dedication and mindless striving for our first flag.

Shhh the sim will hear you!

Thank you gents.
 
To stick around Coney Island for such a sustained period of time says a lot.

A hell of a lot.

Terrific teammate camaraderie, wonderful leadership over the seasons, never say die attitudes, and unsurpassed bantering skills. Why would I leave?

I've been approached to move clubs by nearly every other team, and I've rejected them all.

Why be a gumby, or a furry, or an old fart, when I can be a warrior?

spartans-what-is-your-profession-300.gif
 
Terrific teammate camaraderie, wonderful leadership over the seasons, never say die attitudes, and unsurpassed bantering skills.

Why be a gumby, or a furry, or an old fart, when I can be a warrior?
I think we've found a new tagline to recruit new guys.
 

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spudmaster have you had their other flavours? The fruit tingle and the portello ones go down a treat too.
Fruit Tingle is elite. Have a massive sweet tooth so these and stuff like 196s go down way too easily.
 
Terrific teammate camaraderie, wonderful leadership over the seasons, never say die attitudes, and unsurpassed bantering skills. Why would I leave?

I've been approached to move clubs by nearly every other team, and I've rejected them all.

Why be a gumby, or a furry, or an old fart, when I can be a warrior?

spartans-what-is-your-profession-300.gif
I once did a delivery out on the west coast and ran into some of the guys from the Wonders. They invited me out for lunch which included Babà Napoletano. I'll admit they were nice guys but when it came down to talk of a trade I knew where my heart was. ##loyalty
 

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Breaking

"New Jersey Nets Star Revealed as Genetically Engineered Superhuman: Shocking Lab Exposé Unleashes Global Controversy"

In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves across the globe, New Jersey Nets shooting guard, Alex "Ace" Mitchell, has been exposed as a genetically engineered superhuman. The scandal centers around a clandestine laboratory known as Project Apex, which has allegedly been creating elite athletes with unprecedented abilities.

## The Rise of Ace Mitchell

Ace Mitchell burst onto the basketball scene just three years ago, captivating fans with his otherworldly skills. His lightning-fast reflexes, pinpoint accuracy, and seemingly limitless stamina set him apart from his peers. But behind the scenes, a darker truth was unfolding.

## The Lab's Secrets Unveiled

Investigative journalists, working tirelessly to uncover the truth, stumbled upon Project Apex's hidden facility deep within the Swiss Alps. The lab, funded by shadowy figures and powerful corporations, had been operating for decades. Its mission? To engineer the perfect athlete—one who could dominate any sport.

## The Genetic Blueprint

Inside Project Apex, scientists tinkered with Ace's DNA, enhancing his physical attributes beyond what nature intended. They spliced genes from cheetahs for speed, eagles for vision, and even jellyfish for cellular regeneration. The result was a basketball prodigy unlike anything the world had ever seen.

## The Ethical Quandary

As news of Ace's engineered origins spread, ethical debates erupted. Is it fair for one player to possess such an advantage? Should we celebrate scientific progress or condemn it as an affront to the purity of sports? Fans, players, and officials grapple with these questions as the scandal unfolds.

## The Fallout

The NBA has launched an immediate investigation into Ace Mitchell's genetic makeup. Fans are torn—some demanding his removal from the league, while others argue that he's merely a product of cutting-edge science. Meanwhile, Project Apex's enigmatic founder remains at large, leaving a trail of unanswered questions.

## A World Changed Forever

The scandal has far-reaching implications. Other sports leagues are now scrutinizing their own stars, wondering who else might be a product of genetic engineering. Governments are drafting legislation to regulate genetic modifications in athletics. And the debate rages on: Is Ace Mitchell a hero or a manufactured fraud?

Stay tuned as this scandal continues to unravel, forever altering the landscape of sports and science. The world watches, breathless, as the truth emerges—one gene at a time.
 
## A Lamentation: "The Empire Strikes Back"

### A Symphony of Desolation

"The Empire Strikes Back"—a title that promises grandeur, yet delivers a symphony of desolation. Allow me to wield my lexicon like a Sith Lord's crimson lightsaber as we traverse the treacherous terrain of this cinematic endeavor.

1. Narrative Dissonance:
- The film opens with the Rebel Alliance on the run, their optimism crushed like a discarded protocol droid. Yet, instead of embracing this grim reality, we are subjected to quips and banter. The juxtaposition is jarring, akin to a funeral dirge interrupted by a kazoo solo.
- Torment sets in as we witness our beloved heroes—Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia—struggle against the relentless Empire. Their pain echoes through the corridors of Cloud City, where betrayal hangs thicker than Bespin's gas.

2. Character Arcs in Peril:
- Luke, our once wide-eyed farm boy, now grapples with existential dread. His Jedi training under Yoda feels like a fever dream—a montage of levitating rocks and cryptic riddles. Alas, his growth is stunted, like a bonsai tree yearning for the forest.
- Han Solo, frozen in carbonite, becomes a mere plot device. His fate dangles like a Damoclean sword, and we ache for his return. But alas, the narrative twists, leaving us with more questions than answers.

3. The Vader Enigma:
- Darth Vader, the dark enigma, should be our lodestar. Yet, his revelation as Luke's father lands with all the impact of a deflated balloon. The Force chills our spine, but the emotional payoff is akin to a malfunctioning hyperdrive.
- The iconic line—"No, I am your father"—should have seared our souls. Instead, it fizzles like a damp firework, leaving us yearning for the raw anguish that should accompany such a revelation.

4. Romantic Tumult:
- Leia's heart wavers between Han and Luke, like a malfunctioning droid caught in a love triangle. The tension should crackle like a lightsaber duel, but it fizzles like a faulty fusion reactor.
- Han's "I know" should have been a declaration etched in the stars. Instead, it lands like a half-hearted apology from a droid with faulty memory circuits.

### The Abyss Beckons

In the icy caverns of Dagobah, Yoda imparts wisdom, but it falls on deaf ears. We, too, yearn for enlightenment, but find only murky depths. The film's pacing—like a wounded AT-AT—lurches forward, leaving us disoriented and gasping for coherence.

And then, the pièce de résistance: the cliffhanger ending. Our heroes scattered, hope extinguished, and the Empire ascendant. We are left hanging like a Womp rat caught in a snare, tormented by the knowledge that resolution lies in another film, another era.

"The Empire Strikes Back" is a paradox—an opulent tapestry woven with threads of torment. Its darkness, once intriguing, now feels like a black hole devouring our enthusiasm. We emerge, battered and bruised, questioning our loyalty to this galaxy far, far away.

In conclusion, dear cinephiles, if you seek solace, look elsewhere. For this sequel, like a Sith apprentice, has betrayed our trust. The Force may be strong, but so is our disappointment.

May the next installment rekindle our hope, lest we drown in the void of cinematic despair.

1.5/10
 

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