The Half Back
BC Approved
I'm not in, I'll assist the great Gee Dub in day to day activities.
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SFA Survivor
- Thread starter Gee Dub
- Start date
- Tagged users None
I'm not in, I'll assist the great Gee Dub in day to day activities.
Eth
For sale
He's afraid of the saintkildamozzies.
Gee Dub, can I post another Challenge #1 Entry??? I have to wait on something first and then I'll post it. OkaY?
okeydoke7
FIGJAM
- Jun 7, 2007
- 17,169
- 23,911
- AFL Club
- St Kilda
CHALLENGE 1 -
Looking out at the glorious island should have excited me. The clean sand, amazing forest, and the warmth should have felt like luxury. But I have to admit, it was a sausagefest.
Something needed to be done. And two people needed to be sent on a "fact finding" mission. The only fact they will be finding is that they won't be back amongst the guys again!
As a group, we need to unite as one and think ahead. Later on, a challenge may or may not involve the surprise inclusion of females, wet t-shirts, bikini contests. Even if the opportunity to get some girls on the island doesn't come up, what if we get a reward that allows us off the island for a week? A group go guys this size will never pick up.
Two people needed to go, the reverse wingmen. The guys that are likely to make any females run away from the group faster than Matthew Stokes from a contested possession. Or the cops.
Firstly, we needed to dismiss Eth. Posts like the following scare me:
Now is not the time for transvestites. If that's the kind of shit you're into, don't bring the rest of our chances down. We are on a ****ing paradise island, secluded from the real world, and all we do all day is sit around, fish and hunt for a ****ing immunity idle. When some females are actually introduced, we can't scare them off with ****ing transvestites. And what if we are secluded on the island for weeks. Who will the deprived group of males turn to? I don't even want to think about what could happen in our delirious state.
Also Deddy can GTFO, we want women not girls.
The group will part with Eth and Deddy like Krishna parted from Trishna. We will end up like Krishna, the healthier of the two. And when we finally reach the island, we will fight. For our right to party!
Looking out at the glorious island should have excited me. The clean sand, amazing forest, and the warmth should have felt like luxury. But I have to admit, it was a sausagefest.
Something needed to be done. And two people needed to be sent on a "fact finding" mission. The only fact they will be finding is that they won't be back amongst the guys again!
As a group, we need to unite as one and think ahead. Later on, a challenge may or may not involve the surprise inclusion of females, wet t-shirts, bikini contests. Even if the opportunity to get some girls on the island doesn't come up, what if we get a reward that allows us off the island for a week? A group go guys this size will never pick up.
Two people needed to go, the reverse wingmen. The guys that are likely to make any females run away from the group faster than Matthew Stokes from a contested possession. Or the cops.
Firstly, we needed to dismiss Eth. Posts like the following scare me:
Now is not the time for transvestites. If that's the kind of shit you're into, don't bring the rest of our chances down. We are on a ****ing paradise island, secluded from the real world, and all we do all day is sit around, fish and hunt for a ****ing immunity idle. When some females are actually introduced, we can't scare them off with ****ing transvestites. And what if we are secluded on the island for weeks. Who will the deprived group of males turn to? I don't even want to think about what could happen in our delirious state.
Also Deddy can GTFO, we want women not girls.
The group will part with Eth and Deddy like Krishna parted from Trishna. We will end up like Krishna, the healthier of the two. And when we finally reach the island, we will fight. For our right to party!
- Sep 22, 2008
- 25,524
- 34,634
- AFL Club
- Western Bulldogs
- Banned
- #84
Don't worry guys I've finally arrived, after missing the boat I didn't want to feel left out so I called my private jet guy (yes that's right I have a private jet guy) and he hooked me up with a cheap flight!
I hope you all had a lovely day, stuck together on that rotten boat, the sound of Andonis' testie pops (voice cracks, for you old folk) coupled with Eastys constant rambling would have been enough to drive me insane! Oh but if it makes you feel any better Wwhile you were all throwing up your guts most likely because of the putrid smell coming from Filthy Sanchez's general area I was sipping champaign and listening to fergie!
Anyway we all made it safely so that's a positive, and you guys have already set up camp so I guess I don't have to do anything!
Now onto who I want to send out into the jungle to retrieve wood, food and hopefully a hooker -
I'm here to win, I'm not here for a good time (although if they can find a decent hooker, I wouldn't say no to a good time
) and I'm not here to have fun, when I see an opportunity I grab it, and that is why I vote for IMS and BILC to go collect our goods, we all know they're good at what they do and it would be a fantastic result to have them eliminated ASAP!So good luck you two, if you make it back alive I'll be sure to share my Tim Tams with you!
Fair enough...Damn it!I thought I had a better CHALLENGE piece than the one I posted. Oh well...
EagleOz
The Eagle has Landed
Challenge #1
I boarded the boat to the mysterious island, not knowing what the hell I have got myself into. Looking around I try and figure out who looks like the biggest threats, and who looks like my one armed 90 year old grandma could outwit and outlast.
It didn't take long for me to realize that for me to have any chance in this competition I had to lay low for a while, stay under the radar and keep a watch out for the back stabbers of the group.
I had already noticed a few strange events on the boat, the one who calls himself Beez had a fascination with giving people nipple cripples, Not sure weather it's that he enjoyed touching us or it was an attention thing I wasn't to sure, but one thing was for sure Easty seemed to enjoy them a little to much. Almost like the guy from the movie benchwarmers.
BILC and Filthy were chatting at the front of boat looking like they were already talking alliances.
And Harps talking to himself like a homeless creepy guy without his alcohol.
Anyway we had now reached the island and we were met there by our weird looking host Gee Dub who reminded me a lot like a male version of Rosie O'Donnell. He told us that our first task was to pick 2 people to fetch wood and food from the dangerous forest.
A bit sus I thought to myself this would be a great chance to get rid of some of the deadwood that this group has.
Looking around I found the perfect two for this special task.
1st - Deddy, Strange bloke who acts like his bear grills but is more like Ronald McDonald, useless in the woods.
2nd - Okey, Small and tiny, would be a liability to the group. And we would no longer have to put up with the smell that comes from him.
With these 2 gone the rest of us can focus on building our home for the next few weeks.
**
I boarded the boat to the mysterious island, not knowing what the hell I have got myself into. Looking around I try and figure out who looks like the biggest threats, and who looks like my one armed 90 year old grandma could outwit and outlast.
It didn't take long for me to realize that for me to have any chance in this competition I had to lay low for a while, stay under the radar and keep a watch out for the back stabbers of the group.
I had already noticed a few strange events on the boat, the one who calls himself Beez had a fascination with giving people nipple cripples, Not sure weather it's that he enjoyed touching us or it was an attention thing I wasn't to sure, but one thing was for sure Easty seemed to enjoy them a little to much. Almost like the guy from the movie benchwarmers.
BILC and Filthy were chatting at the front of boat looking like they were already talking alliances.
And Harps talking to himself like a homeless creepy guy without his alcohol.
Anyway we had now reached the island and we were met there by our weird looking host Gee Dub who reminded me a lot like a male version of Rosie O'Donnell. He told us that our first task was to pick 2 people to fetch wood and food from the dangerous forest.
A bit sus I thought to myself this would be a great chance to get rid of some of the deadwood that this group has.
Looking around I found the perfect two for this special task.
1st - Deddy, Strange bloke who acts like his bear grills but is more like Ronald McDonald, useless in the woods.
2nd - Okey, Small and tiny, would be a liability to the group. And we would no longer have to put up with the smell that comes from him.
With these 2 gone the rest of us can focus on building our home for the next few weeks.
**
- Aug 18, 2009
- 7,234
- 6,736
- AFL Club
- Richmond
Challenge 1
So weve been asked whose in charge of collecting t
The goods ey?
Well my first vote goes to andronis for two reasons. 1. I snuck in a copy of penthouse under my boobs to get off to and a lad of his age would not be able to appreciate such literacy. Also if he failed to bring back anything decent well at least he'll be able to beg well enough to get a second chance at it.
2. Okeydoke7. On the way over he would not shut up about the SFA "glory days." I figure if we send him out he'll find a pair of coconuts to tell his inane stories to and eventually die of exhaustion.
So weve been asked whose in charge of collecting t
The goods ey?
Well my first vote goes to andronis for two reasons. 1. I snuck in a copy of penthouse under my boobs to get off to and a lad of his age would not be able to appreciate such literacy. Also if he failed to bring back anything decent well at least he'll be able to beg well enough to get a second chance at it.
2. Okeydoke7. On the way over he would not shut up about the SFA "glory days." I figure if we send him out he'll find a pair of coconuts to tell his inane stories to and eventually die of exhaustion.
ClarkeM
Wonders 🏆🏆🏆🏆
- Mar 14, 2007
- 54,524
- 51,557
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Challenge: One
My silent trip on the journey across was a beneficiary; secluding my hidden strengths and weaknesses. I did manage to hear a few flaws however, in my newly formed and generalised clique. Okeydoke announced his love for hit teen sensation, Justin Bieber, as many around him either began to love or hate him. It was nothing more than a self-inflicted decision and I pounced on the opportunity to become the leader of those against Okeydoke. Upon self-titling myself “The Golden God” of SFA Survivor and the SFA in general, I knew exactly who I wanted to eat first, Filthy Sanchez. His constant referencing to how he was runners-up a under 13’s state korfball tournament, made me cringe as I reminisced upon my short-lived career as a korfball superstar. After playing on Leon Simons for most of the World Cup grand final, I collapsed in pain as my knee had dislocated itself 540 degrees upwards. It hurt as much as it sounds.
Beez looked mysterious in a way that makes blind men approachable, purely uncomfortable. His mouth began to open and close as his words were going at a million miles an hour but it was what he didn't say that truly astonished me. What he didn't say being that he wanted to eat myself. I was shell-shocked.
I realised then and there that he had done nothing but infatuate me so I began narrating his comments. I realised after 6,800 words that...
I know that I would love to retain Filthy Sanchez. So I could devour into his calf muscles and chew on his fingers like savage beasts do on Nickelodeon. Who alongside Okeydoke must I banish? Who is worthy of losing my respect in such a way that I no longer acknowledge their imaginative existence? It has to be Deddy.
As I first encounter the island amongst the vast seabed, I am attached to the raw aura of satisfaction that bewilders upon us all.
My silent trip on the journey across was a beneficiary; secluding my hidden strengths and weaknesses. I did manage to hear a few flaws however, in my newly formed and generalised clique. Okeydoke announced his love for hit teen sensation, Justin Bieber, as many around him either began to love or hate him. It was nothing more than a self-inflicted decision and I pounced on the opportunity to become the leader of those against Okeydoke. Upon self-titling myself “The Golden God” of SFA Survivor and the SFA in general, I knew exactly who I wanted to eat first, Filthy Sanchez. His constant referencing to how he was runners-up a under 13’s state korfball tournament, made me cringe as I reminisced upon my short-lived career as a korfball superstar. After playing on Leon Simons for most of the World Cup grand final, I collapsed in pain as my knee had dislocated itself 540 degrees upwards. It hurt as much as it sounds.
Beez looked mysterious in a way that makes blind men approachable, purely uncomfortable. His mouth began to open and close as his words were going at a million miles an hour but it was what he didn't say that truly astonished me. What he didn't say being that he wanted to eat myself. I was shell-shocked.
I realised then and there that he had done nothing but infatuate me so I began narrating his comments. I realised after 6,800 words that...
I know that I would love to retain Filthy Sanchez. So I could devour into his calf muscles and chew on his fingers like savage beasts do on Nickelodeon. Who alongside Okeydoke must I banish? Who is worthy of losing my respect in such a way that I no longer acknowledge their imaginative existence? It has to be Deddy.
Eth
For sale
Eth's Notepad #1
10:21 am: Well, just got an invite on Facebook from Gee Dub detailing that myself and a bunch of other SFA players will be hopping on a boat, going to a tropical island and playing Survivor. Naturally, I was pumped, so without hesitation I accepted the offer. I didn't want to be online for long enough so that SKM would notice during his routine 30-second run-through of "Which player's attention do I grab next?" so I quickly switched my computer off.
11:03 am: "I'm on a boat! I'm on a boat! Everybody look at me 'cos I'm sailing on a boat!" I was three minutes late to the official start time of 11 and ClarkeM was already off his face doing his best T-Pain impersonation. The only difference being that T-Pain has autotune. A lot of autotune. Although that's stating the obvious. At least he's not the one sailing us there.
11:06 am: Turns out ClarkeM is taking us there...got in an argument with the ship's captain, The Half Back, after he responded to Clarke by telling him that his singing was about the same quality as Jobe's posting. Clarkey responded by launching his stick-like body over the edge of the boat, yelling "You'll be ridin' dolphins, doing flips and shit!" or something similar. He then turned the boat on full throttle, carved through the pier, narrowly missing families and sped away.
11:37 am: We arrived at the island to Gee Dub, who welcomed us and broke down the next few days. He said, "From this point on, you are all on your own; the challenges you compete in, the immunity idols you win, it's all about outlasting the others and becoming the Survivor." I then realised that we wouldn't be singing Eye of the Tiger all day and all night.
11:43 am: While Gee Dub was having a time out to beg beez for the Season 15 vice-captaincy once again, we all took a moment to discuss things between ourselves and our possible strategies, to which I sarcastically remarked that I should stay low-key and coast through to the final for an easy victory, to see Okey staring at me sternly. Can't take an OkeyJoke.
11:44 am: My previous attempted pun got read out by BILC and I am now the laughing stock of Survivor. I shall redeem myself.
11:56 pm: Gee Dub had agreed to stop begging for the time being and identified the rest of the rules, closing with this: "You will all sleep in this glorious hut where you will eat your own food and sleep in your own bunk beds, and give me votes tomorrow on the two players you believe should go and get you guys food and shit." He pointed to a hut behind him. Deddy, Andonis, Harps and Rhodesy were the four teens who sprinted towards the hut yelling "Shotgun top bunk!" while I was much more mature and didn't really care.
1:43 am: Filthy Sanchez has just hopped into bed with me. I guess being Mexican he probably wasn't used to sleeping on his own. But geez, I know why they call him Filthy now...
8:15 am: After hours of [strike]sleeping[/strike] holding my nose in fear of death I rose, and contemplated who should be voted off. I thought of the threats, the big guys that dominated all proceedings, challenges, competitions, you name it, but I couldn't think of any. I remembered back to my sarcastic quote from yesterday in that I should vote off the people who could actually win if ignored about - you know, the girlish, non-threatening, weak, not-so hateful types of people. All of a sudden, I realised exactly who I should vote for. I wrote down HARPSichord and Andonis1997 in a blank sheet on this notepad and put it in my pocket to give to Gee Dub.
10:21 am: Well, just got an invite on Facebook from Gee Dub detailing that myself and a bunch of other SFA players will be hopping on a boat, going to a tropical island and playing Survivor. Naturally, I was pumped, so without hesitation I accepted the offer. I didn't want to be online for long enough so that SKM would notice during his routine 30-second run-through of "Which player's attention do I grab next?" so I quickly switched my computer off.
11:03 am: "I'm on a boat! I'm on a boat! Everybody look at me 'cos I'm sailing on a boat!" I was three minutes late to the official start time of 11 and ClarkeM was already off his face doing his best T-Pain impersonation. The only difference being that T-Pain has autotune. A lot of autotune. Although that's stating the obvious. At least he's not the one sailing us there.
11:06 am: Turns out ClarkeM is taking us there...got in an argument with the ship's captain, The Half Back, after he responded to Clarke by telling him that his singing was about the same quality as Jobe's posting. Clarkey responded by launching his stick-like body over the edge of the boat, yelling "You'll be ridin' dolphins, doing flips and shit!" or something similar. He then turned the boat on full throttle, carved through the pier, narrowly missing families and sped away.
11:37 am: We arrived at the island to Gee Dub, who welcomed us and broke down the next few days. He said, "From this point on, you are all on your own; the challenges you compete in, the immunity idols you win, it's all about outlasting the others and becoming the Survivor." I then realised that we wouldn't be singing Eye of the Tiger all day and all night.
11:43 am: While Gee Dub was having a time out to beg beez for the Season 15 vice-captaincy once again, we all took a moment to discuss things between ourselves and our possible strategies, to which I sarcastically remarked that I should stay low-key and coast through to the final for an easy victory, to see Okey staring at me sternly. Can't take an OkeyJoke.
11:44 am: My previous attempted pun got read out by BILC and I am now the laughing stock of Survivor. I shall redeem myself.
11:56 pm: Gee Dub had agreed to stop begging for the time being and identified the rest of the rules, closing with this: "You will all sleep in this glorious hut where you will eat your own food and sleep in your own bunk beds, and give me votes tomorrow on the two players you believe should go and get you guys food and shit." He pointed to a hut behind him. Deddy, Andonis, Harps and Rhodesy were the four teens who sprinted towards the hut yelling "Shotgun top bunk!" while I was much more mature and didn't really care.
1:43 am: Filthy Sanchez has just hopped into bed with me. I guess being Mexican he probably wasn't used to sleeping on his own. But geez, I know why they call him Filthy now...
8:15 am: After hours of [strike]sleeping[/strike] holding my nose in fear of death I rose, and contemplated who should be voted off. I thought of the threats, the big guys that dominated all proceedings, challenges, competitions, you name it, but I couldn't think of any. I remembered back to my sarcastic quote from yesterday in that I should vote off the people who could actually win if ignored about - you know, the girlish, non-threatening, weak, not-so hateful types of people. All of a sudden, I realised exactly who I should vote for. I wrote down HARPSichord and Andonis1997 in a blank sheet on this notepad and put it in my pocket to give to Gee Dub.
^^This one is quite hilarious Eth. Nicely done even though I've probably got the most votes in Survivor history, but at least I'm in the not-so-hateful group, so that is a positive.
even though I've probably got the most votes in Survivor history, but at least I'm in the not-so-hateful group, so that is a positive.
The Half Back
BC Approved
#****youclarkey
- Oct 19, 2010
- 7,864
- 4,428
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Ravens, Rabbitohs, Rockets, Everton
- Thread starter
- #92
^^This one is quite hilarious Eth. Nicely done
Clearly they see you as a threat. I'd just like to point out that you can choose to send anyone on the journey if you win. So if you write about Harps and Andonis, you can choose to send IMS.
ShaunDuggan
🤎 🦍 🤎
Challenge 1
Survivor, that's what they call this show, I call it a holiday away from the Mrs.
The boat ride in gave me a big scare, not only did I have to sit next to this guy funny smelling guy called OkeyDoke, but I suffered a splinter in the arse, not in the cheek, but right up in the hole. I thought about calling the medical staff in, but the thought I going home this soon spurred me on. I figure, it will just come out with my next poop.
The island looks amazing, I heard whispers on the boat ride that there may be dinosaurs on the island, lucky for me I know my dinosaurs and I know they will stick to the centre of the island. But the thing that worries me most is right here on the beach ................ Sand Sharks. They are menacing and can strike any time, lucky I am wearing my Ron Jermemy T-Shirt, Sand Sharks hate old fat pr0n stars.
I've been here for 5 minutes and it's time for my first dump, I know it's going to hurt. I find a secluded spot and I begin the most painful experience since the time I ate a G.I.Joe and had to poop that out. As I was about to squeeze it out I heard something in the bushes, I pulled my pants up and rushed to see who it was but I didn't get a good look. Disturbed and scared I don't do my poop.
Back on the beach we are discussing a fire and food, we are to select 2 guys to go get fire wood inwards of the island. I put forward expert dinosaur hunter and Jeff Goldblum lookalike DemonJim, if dinosaurs are out there I'm sure he can hold his own. The stinky guy from the boat OkeyDoke would be the other one as his smell would scare off any living creature.
I guess I might sneak off for that dump now.....
Survivor, that's what they call this show, I call it a holiday away from the Mrs.
The boat ride in gave me a big scare, not only did I have to sit next to this guy funny smelling guy called OkeyDoke, but I suffered a splinter in the arse, not in the cheek, but right up in the hole. I thought about calling the medical staff in, but the thought I going home this soon spurred me on. I figure, it will just come out with my next poop.
The island looks amazing, I heard whispers on the boat ride that there may be dinosaurs on the island, lucky for me I know my dinosaurs and I know they will stick to the centre of the island. But the thing that worries me most is right here on the beach ................ Sand Sharks. They are menacing and can strike any time, lucky I am wearing my Ron Jermemy T-Shirt, Sand Sharks hate old fat pr0n stars.
I've been here for 5 minutes and it's time for my first dump, I know it's going to hurt. I find a secluded spot and I begin the most painful experience since the time I ate a G.I.Joe and had to poop that out. As I was about to squeeze it out I heard something in the bushes, I pulled my pants up and rushed to see who it was but I didn't get a good look. Disturbed and scared I don't do my poop.
Back on the beach we are discussing a fire and food, we are to select 2 guys to go get fire wood inwards of the island. I put forward expert dinosaur hunter and Jeff Goldblum lookalike DemonJim, if dinosaurs are out there I'm sure he can hold his own. The stinky guy from the boat OkeyDoke would be the other one as his smell would scare off any living creature.
I guess I might sneak off for that dump now.....
EagleOz
The Eagle has Landed
Itsmyshow
Moderator
- Moderator
- #95
Challenge 1
Dear Diary,
This morning I was awoken to a loud thud on the roof of my cottage. At first I thought that it may have been Santa finally bringing me that ****ing bike I asked for 22 years ago, but alas, I realized quickly that it wasn't Christmas morning and I was likely being robbed.
I sprang to my feet and darted through the house (as you know me diary, you will know this means creaked slowly to my feet and then lumbered at a snail pace), to my surprise, there wasn't much going on, apart from my wife sitting at the computer with no clothes on, not sure what was happening there, but I digress.
I turned to return to the comfort of slumber when I see a tiny little man standing in the doorway, I laughed as the sight of this man made me giggle uncontrollably, he introduced himself as the "Almighty overseer Gee Dub", it was good to finally put a midget face to the name. He told me I could either come quietly or forcibly as I was to face that to which I had signed up for. When I had completed my laughter, I looked the midget right in the eye and said.....
When I awoke, I was on a vessel, a sea vessel. There were many weird happenings right there in front of me and I instantly recognized many of my fellow passengers. beez was there, whittling away at a piece of wood, making one end sharp. I hope he doesn't run whilst carrying this object, he could fall and impale himself.
It seemed that everyone for some reason, was sitting next to Okeydoke, I am not sure of the relevance, it just seemed that everyone was sitting near him and from accounts to date, it seems that he may have an foul odour, be unliked by many and recounts the "glory days" far too often. Personally, I just thought he was rather large, to have that many people sitting next to him is quite the effort.
I noticed many youngsters on this vessel and began to feel a little uneasy at the future of these young men. Deddy, Harps, Eth, Rhodesy and Adonis all seem to have bright futures ahead of them, but they have placed themselves in a very dangerous situation. Especially if beez is running with his sharp stick and they get in the way.
There seems to be an issue with Filthy Sanchez, he just sits in the corner giving people an evil eye from under his sombrero, I get the feeling that he may be Mexican, but I am just not sure. Later I will offer him some Nachos, I am sure there will be some wherever it is we are going.
I spotted Eagleoz but just as I thought, he was largely irrelevant, so I kept on walking to where a group of individuals gathered, mumbling quietly about something, I got close enough to eavesdrop and I realized that it was clarkeM, WGS and Duggan, they were talking about how to get me to join them, I wasn't clear on whether they were talking about forming a clique in this game of survival or to join the Wonders, either way, that WGS is an extremely handsome man, so I shot him a wink, in another time and place, I think we could be really good friends.
It took me a while, but I finally caught up with the two men that I knew I had to search for BILC and Easty were caught up in some sort of war of words, at times, it looked heated, but every now and then they would smile and give each other a high five. It was very interesting. I started to approach the two when out of the corner of my eye I spotted that damned midget again he was headed straight for me, I turned to face him and demand an answer for what had happened at my home, I said........
When I awoke I was surrounded by the other contestants, they were looking down at me and pointing, it was then that I realized that I was wearing RUL's pants. How embarrassing, no wonder he lost them in the first place. Only MC Hammer could get away with these.
The group informed me that a selection would be taking place on who to send into the wilderness to do stuff and never return. I responded "Who gives a ****, they ain't coming back whoever it is, all I care about is getting my hands on that ****ing midget who keeps rendering me unconscious somehow, I want answers dammit".
It was a long day diary, and I am sure that as this all goes on, it will be only you that understands me.. I am not sure what we will do next, many of the group are now eating bugs from under trees and saying "Hakuna Matata", this is seriously concerning already, maybe it would be better if I just rigged a two story cubby house and sang songs about Rainbows.
IMS out.
Dear Diary,
This morning I was awoken to a loud thud on the roof of my cottage. At first I thought that it may have been Santa finally bringing me that ****ing bike I asked for 22 years ago, but alas, I realized quickly that it wasn't Christmas morning and I was likely being robbed.
I sprang to my feet and darted through the house (as you know me diary, you will know this means creaked slowly to my feet and then lumbered at a snail pace), to my surprise, there wasn't much going on, apart from my wife sitting at the computer with no clothes on, not sure what was happening there, but I digress.
I turned to return to the comfort of slumber when I see a tiny little man standing in the doorway, I laughed as the sight of this man made me giggle uncontrollably, he introduced himself as the "Almighty overseer Gee Dub", it was good to finally put a midget face to the name. He told me I could either come quietly or forcibly as I was to face that to which I had signed up for. When I had completed my laughter, I looked the midget right in the eye and said.....
When I awoke, I was on a vessel, a sea vessel. There were many weird happenings right there in front of me and I instantly recognized many of my fellow passengers. beez was there, whittling away at a piece of wood, making one end sharp. I hope he doesn't run whilst carrying this object, he could fall and impale himself.
It seemed that everyone for some reason, was sitting next to Okeydoke, I am not sure of the relevance, it just seemed that everyone was sitting near him and from accounts to date, it seems that he may have an foul odour, be unliked by many and recounts the "glory days" far too often. Personally, I just thought he was rather large, to have that many people sitting next to him is quite the effort.
I noticed many youngsters on this vessel and began to feel a little uneasy at the future of these young men. Deddy, Harps, Eth, Rhodesy and Adonis all seem to have bright futures ahead of them, but they have placed themselves in a very dangerous situation. Especially if beez is running with his sharp stick and they get in the way.
There seems to be an issue with Filthy Sanchez, he just sits in the corner giving people an evil eye from under his sombrero, I get the feeling that he may be Mexican, but I am just not sure. Later I will offer him some Nachos, I am sure there will be some wherever it is we are going.
I spotted Eagleoz but just as I thought, he was largely irrelevant, so I kept on walking to where a group of individuals gathered, mumbling quietly about something, I got close enough to eavesdrop and I realized that it was clarkeM, WGS and Duggan, they were talking about how to get me to join them, I wasn't clear on whether they were talking about forming a clique in this game of survival or to join the Wonders, either way, that WGS is an extremely handsome man, so I shot him a wink, in another time and place, I think we could be really good friends.
It took me a while, but I finally caught up with the two men that I knew I had to search for BILC and Easty were caught up in some sort of war of words, at times, it looked heated, but every now and then they would smile and give each other a high five. It was very interesting. I started to approach the two when out of the corner of my eye I spotted that damned midget again he was headed straight for me, I turned to face him and demand an answer for what had happened at my home, I said........
When I awoke I was surrounded by the other contestants, they were looking down at me and pointing, it was then that I realized that I was wearing RUL's pants. How embarrassing, no wonder he lost them in the first place. Only MC Hammer could get away with these.
The group informed me that a selection would be taking place on who to send into the wilderness to do stuff and never return. I responded "Who gives a ****, they ain't coming back whoever it is, all I care about is getting my hands on that ****ing midget who keeps rendering me unconscious somehow, I want answers dammit".
It was a long day diary, and I am sure that as this all goes on, it will be only you that understands me.. I am not sure what we will do next, many of the group are now eating bugs from under trees and saying "Hakuna Matata", this is seriously concerning already, maybe it would be better if I just rigged a two story cubby house and sang songs about Rainbows.
IMS out.
Oh, right. I can safely say that won't be me
EagleOz
The Eagle has Landed
Oh, right. I can safely say that won't be me
Now that's just loser talk
No, that's just honesty.
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