Autopsy The reason why you never became a sporting legend...

[Rorzza]

It was a long time ago, I was 13 or 14 years old and the state champion for the 50 m individual medley in my age bracket. I was competing at the state champs, I'd drawn lane 4 in the final so I was the favourite again.

The pool was packed with spectators. While on the blocks crouching down after 'set', I noticed the strings of my buggie-smugglers was not tied. The gun fired, I dived in the pool, I swam the first fifty meters butterfly with my smugglers around my ankles. Turning was difficult, I attempted to pull my smugglers up at every turn, unsuccessfully. I can't remember how I did breaststroke. Needless to say I came last.

The officials at the blocks officiating on swimmers turns were very sympathetic. Word got around at school what happened which ment for a number of months I had to deal with silly jokes.

I didn't swim much after that, don't think it affected me at all, it's just a funny story! Now!

 

[Obese Arachnid]

It was a long time ago, I was 13 or 14 years old and the state champion for the 50 m individual medley in my age bracket. I was competing at the state champs, I'd drawn lane 4 in the final so I was the favourite again.

The pool was packed with spectators. While on the blocks crouching down after 'set', I noticed the strings of my buggie-smugglers was not tied. The gun fired, I dived in the pool, I swam the first fifty meters butterfly with my smugglers around my ankles. Turning was difficult, I attempted to pull my smugglers up at every turn, unsuccessfully. I can't remember how I did breaststroke. Needless to say I came last.

The officials at the blocks officiating on swimmers turns were very sympathetic. Word got around at school what happened which ment for a number of months I had to deal with silly jokes.

I didn't swim much after that, don't think it affected me at all, it's just a funny story! Now!

Just as well you didn't win, you would've been disqualified for using a rudder.

 

[Bad Horse]

Just as well you didn't win, you would've been disqualified for using a rudder.

Funny, i pictured it more as a winged keel

 

[Rorzza]

Just as well you didn't win, you would've been disqualified for using a rudder.

Funny, i pictured it more as a winged keel

It didn't serve any real purpose at all, it gave me no advantage over the other swimmers, it was pathetic!

 

[Laurie Holden]

It didn't serve any real purpose at all, it gave me no advantage over the other swimmers, it was pathetic!

He got shrinkage!!!

 

[Rorzza]

He got shrinkage!!!

Not shrinkage, it was cold, more stage fright.

 

[Laurie Holden]

Not shrinkage, it was cold, more stage fright.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

It is what it is

 

[Football God]

U16s my 100th game and my coach told me the Dandy Stingrays coach was there to watch me play, literally my worst ever I game I played. During my early juniors our team was a machine. Div 2 undefeated premiers, went up to Div 1 (played against tom scully) he played for Berwick at the time and they had won 49 games in a row and the played us and had a 50 game winning streak party set at their home ground for them after. We ended up beating them by 7 goals but unfortunately they got us back in the grand final. Scully actually punched one of our players in the head and got sent off in the 3qtr but we couldn't make it back.

Anyway, a lot of our good players left as I stupidly decided to be a one club player. Ah well. Next years afl game on PS4 will change that.

 

[TheGreatGrundy]

A matchstick figure, no left side to my game, no kicking penetration, an aversion to hard body contact, no evasive skills and a general lack of intestinal fortitude worked against personal success in football and rugby, both of which I played at different times to satisfy the school's compulsory winter sport requirements. Fear of the potential harm posed by a fast moving ball rendered me useless as a batsman and fielder in cricket. I had good hand/eye coordination and a lethal smash in table tennis and played competition for a number of years, but a handy B grade player is hardly destined to achieve legend status. Enjoyment of alcohol, cigarettes and the odd drug during what could have been prime sporting years probably didn't help much either.

 

[Temploar]

At 8 years old, I stopped playing Auskick after 5 minutes because it was too cold and the ball was freezing my hands.

At 13, I stopped swimming because I had gotten all my certificates and was too lazy to go pro.

At 14, I stopped playing cricket because I got hit plum in the thighs by a Sri Lankan fast bowler without a thigh guard.

At 15, I stopped learning karate because I'm already a mother******* beast.

Name a sport, I've given up on it.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

A matchstick figure, no left side to my game, no kicking penetration, an aversion to hard body contact, no evasive skills and a general lack of intestinal fortitude worked against personal success in football and rugby, both of which I played at different times to satisfy the school's compulsory winter sport requirements. Fear of the potential harm posed by a fast moving ball rendered me useless as a batsman and fielder in cricket. I had good hand/eye coordination and a lethal smash in table tennis and played competition for a number of years, but a handy B grade player is hardly destined to achieve legend status. Enjoyment of alcohol, cigarettes and the odd drug during what could have been prime sporting years probably didn't help much either.

Never pegged you smoker
Not of smell not of good health
Puff out life, gone soon

(Haiku for you)

 

[Temploar]

Never pegged you smoker
Not of smell not of good health
Puff out life, gone soon

(Haiku for you)

I want what you're having.

 

[TheGreatGrundy]

Never pegged you smoker
Not of smell not of good health
Puff out life, gone soon

(Haiku for you)

I quit smoking 7 years ago. Not something of which I am now proud.

 

[TheGreatGrundy]

I want what you're having.

Where is your signature from?

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I quit smoking 7 years ago. Not something of which I am now proud.

Not proud it was only 7 years ago.
Not proud you gave up smoking.

 

[Temploar]

Where is your signature from?

Some druggie's rap song. Nobody would be interested in the slightest.

 

[TheGreatGrundy]

Some druggie's rap song. Nobody would be interested in the slightest.

I am or I wouldn't have asked!

 

[Temploar]

I am or I wouldn't have asked!

Ahh touche TGG, touché.

 

[Mavs13]

I suffer from a severe case of LAZYITIS.
Hit me when l was about 11/12 and has just got worse the older l get.

 

[Obese Arachnid]

I suffer from a severe case of LAZYITIS.
Hit me when l was about 11/12 and has just got worse the older l get.

It's the disease no one talks about, mainly because they can't be bothered.

 

[Ketchup]

1. Genetics
2. Genetics
3. Genetics

 

[Temploar]

1. Genetics
2. Genetics
3. Genetics

Your father was Coles Homebrand Ketchup and your mother was Woolies Homebrand Ketchup?

You're right, you didn't have much luck in the gene pool.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

1. Genetics
2. Genetics
3. Genetics

Did you do your honours year?

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Some druggie's rap song. Nobody would be interested in the slightest.

But surely the question of TheGreatGrundy indicates some slight interest?