Marklar_33
Brownlow Medallist
So is average talent
Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition
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So is average talent
that would be true if teams like Collingwood finished above in the ladder.
The average age of the players who played is more important though
I'm pretty sure
Mofra
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Player #10b - Josh Hill
Pictured: Art imitates life
Josh Hill played small marking forward for West Coast / East Perth in 2017.
I can't really talk about Josh without referencing Richmond's forwardline in the 2017 Grand Final. They chased, harassed, pressured the opposition and basically played a selfless, team first game. It was similar to and in some ways an extension of the 2016 grand final, with Biggs' 7-go effort within a minute summing up the dedication and selflessness that is required to compete at the pointy end of the ladder where talent is taking a back seat to desire and dedication.
Then.... there's Josh. He has spent his career demonstrating the antithesis of this attitude and as football has continued to develop in this direction it only serves to expose the flaws in his game further. He goes at the opposition about as hard as Andrew Bolt asking Tony Abbott "the hard questions", cares about the West Coast forwardline as much as Freo fans care about the West Coast forwardline and enjoys physical contact less than Don Burke's mid-90s interns.
He seemed to play ok in darbies/derbies (or however the hell those weirdo WAxit secessionists want to pronounce it) but he was only selected in one this year.
Oh yeah, he was dropped back to the WAFL three times in 2017, in an era where West Coast topped up on over 40s to try and field a competitive team. West Coast could feasibly field a super-rules team and Hill's year still featured more dumpings than a Taylor Swift album.
Yes he kicked 16 goals this year but of those goals 16 were in junk time and 1 wasn't, and I remind BigFooty those stats do include a 1 goal margin of error.
His last game was a 6 disposal, 2 clanger effort where he looked about as lively as a Bill Cosby date and Hill looked like he wanted to be there half as much. I mean, if the roar of playing in front of dozens of GWS fans at Spotless Stadium doesn't rouse you into some sort of effort what are you even doing with your life?
Hill was delisted at the end of the year which removes West Coast of their biggest dickhead - Hill's dad, Damir. A man with all the charm of anal thrush, the subtlety of Liberace and an overinflated sense of self worth that only comes from a lifetime of being handed participation ribbons regardless of performance or attitude, it would almost be worth putting up with a year of Josh Hill like performances if it meant getting rid of him. Almost.
Anyway, good luck next year Josh and welcome back to the Bottom 50.
Pictured: Art imitates life
Josh Hill played small marking forward for West Coast / East Perth in 2017.
I can't really talk about Josh without referencing Richmond's forwardline in the 2017 Grand Final. They chased, harassed, pressured the opposition and basically played a selfless, team first game. It was similar to and in some ways an extension of the 2016 grand final, with Biggs' 7-go effort within a minute summing up the dedication and selflessness that is required to compete at the pointy end of the ladder where talent is taking a back seat to desire and dedication.
Then.... there's Josh. He has spent his career demonstrating the antithesis of this attitude and as football has continued to develop in this direction it only serves to expose the flaws in his game further. He goes at the opposition about as hard as Andrew Bolt asking Tony Abbott "the hard questions", cares about the West Coast forwardline as much as Freo fans care about the West Coast forwardline and enjoys physical contact less than Don Burke's mid-90s interns.
He seemed to play ok in darbies/derbies (or however the hell those weirdo WAxit secessionists want to pronounce it) but he was only selected in one this year.
Oh yeah, he was dropped back to the WAFL three times in 2017, in an era where West Coast topped up on over 40s to try and field a competitive team. West Coast could feasibly field a super-rules team and Hill's year still featured more dumpings than a Taylor Swift album.
Yes he kicked 16 goals this year but of those goals 16 were in junk time and 1 wasn't, and I remind BigFooty those stats do include a 1 goal margin of error.
His last game was a 6 disposal, 2 clanger effort where he looked about as lively as a Bill Cosby date and Hill looked like he wanted to be there half as much. I mean, if the roar of playing in front of dozens of GWS fans at Spotless Stadium doesn't rouse you into some sort of effort what are you even doing with your life?
Hill was delisted at the end of the year which removes West Coast of their biggest dickhead - Hill's dad, Damir. A man with all the charm of anal thrush, the subtlety of Liberace and an overinflated sense of self worth that only comes from a lifetime of being handed participation ribbons regardless of performance or attitude, it would almost be worth putting up with a year of Josh Hill like performances if it meant getting rid of him. Almost.
Anyway, good luck next year Josh and welcome back to the Bottom 50.
Aramis
Premiership Player
- Jul 31, 2016
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I don't know where it comes from... but my lord write a book or something... gold.
hawkman
Hall of Famer
I'm guessing 10a will be Griffin now it has been pointed out he played this year
Mofra
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Player #10a - Chris Masten
Pictured: Pretty much all of the Google search results for "generic Melbourne hipster barrista"
Chris Masten was a pick 3 just like Chris Judd, part of the Chris Judd trade, and assisted West Coast in 2017 about as much as... Ashley Judd.
An 'outside' midfielder, Chris... who am I kidding. There needs to be a term more 'outside' than 'outside mid' to describe Masten's game. He's not so much sitting outside of packs waiting for the ball, he's a $57 Uber fare ride away from the contest. Without surge pricing.
Public Service Announcement: For those of you from Geelong, Uber is a ride sharing app that facilitates the transport of willing persons from one location to another. It's kind of like a Taxi except they always turn up and the drivers know what a shower is.
So remember the bit where I mentioned that Josh Hill was dropped three times? Masten was dropped four times, or in employment terms "copped the British nanny treatment". Chris Masten would have been better off being a football kicked to Jack Darling in a final.
A team chasing Hawthorn retirees to bolster their midfield is dropping a former pick 3 to try and stay in finals contention. A team that plays on a large ground that is in theory more suited to outside midfielders than any other ground in Australia. A team who has fans often bemoaning their lack of midfield depth.
I guess we should just celebrate the small victories - Chris Masten didn't bite anyone this year (unlike 2015) and unlike Australia Day 2008 (sorry, invasion day for some posters, 'formerly JJJ day' for others and 'citizenship day' for a number of Australian Parliamentarians) he wasn't suspended for assault. I guess hearing "wanna step outside" from Masten is both an allegory to his modus operandi on the football field and a challenge to your average Perthite who is just trying to sit down and enjoy a $9 coffee in peace.
The best way to sum up his 2017 is to quote an anonymous poster on the West Coast board having an argument:
Nothing more to say. Chris, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.
Pictured: Pretty much all of the Google search results for "generic Melbourne hipster barrista"
Chris Masten was a pick 3 just like Chris Judd, part of the Chris Judd trade, and assisted West Coast in 2017 about as much as... Ashley Judd.
An 'outside' midfielder, Chris... who am I kidding. There needs to be a term more 'outside' than 'outside mid' to describe Masten's game. He's not so much sitting outside of packs waiting for the ball, he's a $57 Uber fare ride away from the contest. Without surge pricing.
Public Service Announcement: For those of you from Geelong, Uber is a ride sharing app that facilitates the transport of willing persons from one location to another. It's kind of like a Taxi except they always turn up and the drivers know what a shower is.
So remember the bit where I mentioned that Josh Hill was dropped three times? Masten was dropped four times, or in employment terms "copped the British nanny treatment". Chris Masten would have been better off being a football kicked to Jack Darling in a final.
A team chasing Hawthorn retirees to bolster their midfield is dropping a former pick 3 to try and stay in finals contention. A team that plays on a large ground that is in theory more suited to outside midfielders than any other ground in Australia. A team who has fans often bemoaning their lack of midfield depth.
I guess we should just celebrate the small victories - Chris Masten didn't bite anyone this year (unlike 2015) and unlike Australia Day 2008 (sorry, invasion day for some posters, 'formerly JJJ day' for others and 'citizenship day' for a number of Australian Parliamentarians) he wasn't suspended for assault. I guess hearing "wanna step outside" from Masten is both an allegory to his modus operandi on the football field and a challenge to your average Perthite who is just trying to sit down and enjoy a $9 coffee in peace.
The best way to sum up his 2017 is to quote an anonymous poster on the West Coast board having an argument:
Nothing more to say. Chris, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.
Mofra
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PS - for those of you trying to guess the top 10, I will just put this on the record: This is the first year of doing the Bottom 50 where any of the top 5 would have made a worthy no 1.
BLERN
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Player #10a - Chris Masten
Pictured: Pretty much all of the Google search results for "generic Melbourne hipster barrista"
Chris Masten was a pick 3 just like Chris Judd, part of the Chris Judd trade, and assisted West Coast in 2017 about as much as... Ashley Judd.
An 'outside' midfielder, Chris... who am I kidding. There needs to be a term more 'outside' than 'outside mid' to describe Masten's game. He's not so much sitting outside of packs waiting for the ball, he's a $57 Uber fare ride away from the contest. Without surge pricing.
Public Service Announcement: For those of you from Geelong, Uber is a ride sharing app that facilitates the transport of willing persons from one location to another. It's kind of like a Taxi except they always turn up and the drivers know what a shower is.
So remember the bit where I mentioned that Josh Hill was dropped three times? Masten was dropped four times, or in employment terms "copped the British nanny treatment". Chris Masten would have been better off being a football kicked to Jack Darling in a final.
A team chasing Hawthorn retirees to bolster their midfield is dropping a former pick 3 to try and stay in finals contention. A team that plays on a large ground that is in theory more suited to outside midfielders than any other ground in Australia. A team who has fans often bemoaning their lack of midfield depth.
I guess we should just celebrate the small victories - Chris Masten didn't bite anyone this year (unlike 2015) and unlike Australia Day 2008 (sorry, invasion day for some posters, 'formerly JJJ day' for others and 'citizenship day' for a number of Australian Parliamentarians) he wasn't suspended for assault. I guess hearing "wanna step outside" from Masten is both an allegory to his modus operandi on the football field and a challenge to your average Perthite who is just trying to sit down and enjoy a $9 coffee in peace.
The best way to sum up his 2017 is to quote an anonymous poster on the West Coast board having an argument:
Nothing more to say. Chris, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.
Killing it mof. This post has shown us we need more public service announcements.
RedmanWasHere
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This is easily the best write-up of the thread so far, despite the Swans trolling at the top!Player #10b - Josh Hill
Pictured: Art imitates life
Josh Hill played small marking forward for West Coast / East Perth in 2017.
I can't really talk about Josh without referencing Richmond's forwardline in the 2017 Grand Final. They chased, harassed, pressured the opposition and basically played a selfless, team first game. It was similar to and in some ways an extension of the 2016 grand final, with Biggs' 7-go effort within a minute summing up the dedication and selflessness that is required to compete at the pointy end of the ladder where talent is taking a back seat to desire and dedication.
Then.... there's Josh. He has spent his career demonstrating the antithesis of this attitude and as football has continued to develop in this direction it only serves to expose the flaws in his game further. He goes at the opposition about as hard as Andrew Bolt asking Tony Abbott "the hard questions", cares about the West Coast forwardline as much as Freo fans care about the West Coast forwardline and enjoys physical contact less than Don Burke's mid-90s interns.
He seemed to play ok in darbies/derbies (or however the hell those weirdo WAxit secessionists want to pronounce it) but he was only selected in one this year.
Oh yeah, he was dropped back to the WAFL three times in 2017, in an era where West Coast topped up on over 40s to try and field a competitive team. West Coast could feasibly field a super-rules team and Hill's year still featured more dumpings than a Taylor Swift album.
Yes he kicked 16 goals this year but of those goals 16 were in junk time and 1 wasn't, and I remind BigFooty those stats do include a 1 goal margin of error.
His last game was a 6 disposal, 2 clanger effort where he looked about as lively as a Bill Cosby date and Hill looked like he wanted to be there half as much. I mean, if the roar of playing in front of dozens of GWS fans at Spotless Stadium doesn't rouse you into some sort of effort what are you even doing with your life?
Hill was delisted at the end of the year which removes West Coast of their biggest dickhead - Hill's dad, Damir. A man with all the charm of anal thrush, the subtlety of Liberace and an overinflated sense of self worth that only comes from a lifetime of being handed participation ribbons regardless of performance or attitude, it would almost be worth putting up with a year of Josh Hill like performances if it meant getting rid of him. Almost.
Anyway, good luck next year Josh and welcome back to the Bottom 50.
Aramis
Premiership Player
- Jul 31, 2016
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Interesting... surely a 2 horse race between Vickery and Mayne for the mantle of spudking.
TedDougChris
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So many worthy spuds, what a time to be alive....
Lovely pivot away from the sex-pests, leaving some clear air for the top 10.
WAxit alone is worth the price of admission, absolute gold.
If only we could remove WA as easily as some unwanted pubes.
hawkman
Hall of Famer
Kind of like a divvy van then in Geelong
Dinsdale
®Moderation of beer©
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Player #10b - Josh Hill
Pictured: Art imitates life
Josh Hill played small marking forward for West Coast / East Perth in 2017.
I can't really talk about Josh without referencing Richmond's forwardline in the 2017 Grand Final. They chased, harassed, pressured the opposition and basically played a selfless, team first game. It was similar to and in some ways an extension of the 2016 grand final, with Biggs' 7-go effort within a minute summing up the dedication and selflessness that is required to compete at the pointy end of the ladder where talent is taking a back seat to desire and dedication.
Then.... there's Josh. He has spent his career demonstrating the antithesis of this attitude and as football has continued to develop in this direction it only serves to expose the flaws in his game further. He goes at the opposition about as hard as Andrew Bolt asking Tony Abbott "the hard questions", cares about the West Coast forwardline as much as Freo fans care about the West Coast forwardline and enjoys physical contact less than Don Burke's mid-90s interns.
He seemed to play ok in darbies/derbies (or however the hell those weirdo WAxit secessionists want to pronounce it) but he was only selected in one this year.
Oh yeah, he was dropped back to the WAFL three times in 2017, in an era where West Coast topped up on over 40s to try and field a competitive team. West Coast could feasibly field a super-rules team and Hill's year still featured more dumpings than a Taylor Swift album.
Yes he kicked 16 goals this year but of those goals 16 were in junk time and 1 wasn't, and I remind BigFooty those stats do include a 1 goal margin of error.
His last game was a 6 disposal, 2 clanger effort where he looked about as lively as a Bill Cosby date and Hill looked like he wanted to be there half as much. I mean, if the roar of playing in front of dozens of GWS fans at Spotless Stadium doesn't rouse you into some sort of effort what are you even doing with your life?
Hill was delisted at the end of the year which removes West Coast of their biggest dickhead - Hill's dad, Damir. A man with all the charm of anal thrush, the subtlety of Liberace and an overinflated sense of self worth that only comes from a lifetime of being handed participation ribbons regardless of performance or attitude, it would almost be worth putting up with a year of Josh Hill like performances if it meant getting rid of him. Almost.
Anyway, good luck next year Josh and welcome back to the Bottom 50.
this is my favourite Josh Hill highlight
Mofra
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Player #9 - Jake Stringer
Pictured: Jake, his former partner who he cheated on while pregnant, and those are his kids not potential dates in 13 years
Jake Stringer is a former pick 5, AA forward and premiership player. At the end of the season he was kicked out of the Bulldogs who hardly have a forward line and that should tell you something. He was formerly jumper number 9 hence this position was filled months in advance, like a Bay modding gig haha enjoy your vote, sheeple.
Let's take a step back. It's the start of 2017 and Jake Stringer is riding high. He's coming into the season as a member of the reigning premiers (ignoring the fact he was largely carried most of September / October 2016) and managed to complete the pre-season... although he was a back-marker in the time trial again, even behind an 18 year old rookie ruckman according to track watchers.
Jake started the year pretty well, generally going at about 2 goals per game (although he managed only two touches in the first half against Brisbane), missed a couple then had a blinder against the Saints.
Then a bye, and for the second half of the year it all started to turn pear shaped. Jake's attitude, workrate and on field performances sank faster than a frozen Leonardo DiCaprio character after clinging to the side of an improvised flotation device HE COULD HAVE TOTALLY FIT ON THAT DOOR ROSE YOU SELFISH WHORE!!!
Ahem. Excuse me.
Jake started to go missing for longer and longer periods during a game to the point where the coaching staff tried him in more positions than a Czech amateur video (nudge nudge wink wink) with the results largely the same. The same flaws in his game still existed, they were just no longer balanced out by the 2-3 minutes of brilliance he'd show per game. Opponents realized he doesn't apply much pressure (if you're male) and he's pretty easy to rebound from. I know the denizens of the bay are big fans of doing things one-handed but Jake takes it to the extreme by attempting most of his tackles one handed. "Jake's one-handed tackle" is a phrase likely to make Nick Dal Santo slightly more comfortable but was an infuriating facet of Jake's play.
Rumours of his off field behavior became progressively louder as well and even his teammates were publically outing him on instagram for missing physio appointments. Inevitably, a lazy player who doesn't go to physio gets injured which gives him more time to get up to mischief. Of when I say mischief, I mean "Saints fun with the moral compass of Stephen Dank" rather than a quiet night in with friends, Monopoly, and then in a few hours ex-friends.
There was a genuine unease within the Bulldogs playing group as the season wore on, exacerbated by revelations Jake had cheated repeatedly on his pregnant partner with a variety of skanks including a 17 year old schoolgirl and has SFA cash left to him after gambling most of it away.
He still wasn't fit enough to run much through the midfield, was hardly getting the ball, wasn't kicking goals, wouldn't provide defensive pressure, showed all the professionalism of a Fevola Brownlow interview and was about as good a teammate as Edward Scissorhands on an inflatable dingy.
Given he was shown to be lazy, unprofessional, a terrible human, arrogant, coasting through life on minimal effort and offering 'injections' to a variety of 'comely lasses o' virtue questionable' - 16 of the 17 clubs decided he wasn't really worth chasing. I mean, where would someone with such a horrible character fit in, and...
.. of course.
A club recovering from a drug scandal with a chemist for a coach and an ex-coach who attracted a cult-like following despite putting the club into a precarious position in the first place (not to mention that, despite being married, his pants were purely decorative only) was obviously the perfect fit for Jakey and his snakey. At the very least, Essendon once again have a well known rider on their list.
Jake, Stringsy, good luck at your new outer suburban home. I hear Tullamarine is lovely during the summer. Welcome to the Bottom 50.
Pictured: Jake, his former partner who he cheated on while pregnant, and those are his kids not potential dates in 13 years
Jake Stringer is a former pick 5, AA forward and premiership player. At the end of the season he was kicked out of the Bulldogs who hardly have a forward line and that should tell you something. He was formerly jumper number 9 hence this position was filled months in advance, like a Bay modding gig haha enjoy your vote, sheeple.
Let's take a step back. It's the start of 2017 and Jake Stringer is riding high. He's coming into the season as a member of the reigning premiers (ignoring the fact he was largely carried most of September / October 2016) and managed to complete the pre-season... although he was a back-marker in the time trial again, even behind an 18 year old rookie ruckman according to track watchers.
Jake started the year pretty well, generally going at about 2 goals per game (although he managed only two touches in the first half against Brisbane), missed a couple then had a blinder against the Saints.
Then a bye, and for the second half of the year it all started to turn pear shaped. Jake's attitude, workrate and on field performances sank faster than a frozen Leonardo DiCaprio character after clinging to the side of an improvised flotation device HE COULD HAVE TOTALLY FIT ON THAT DOOR ROSE YOU SELFISH WHORE!!!
Ahem. Excuse me.
Jake started to go missing for longer and longer periods during a game to the point where the coaching staff tried him in more positions than a Czech amateur video (nudge nudge wink wink) with the results largely the same. The same flaws in his game still existed, they were just no longer balanced out by the 2-3 minutes of brilliance he'd show per game. Opponents realized he doesn't apply much pressure (if you're male) and he's pretty easy to rebound from. I know the denizens of the bay are big fans of doing things one-handed but Jake takes it to the extreme by attempting most of his tackles one handed. "Jake's one-handed tackle" is a phrase likely to make Nick Dal Santo slightly more comfortable but was an infuriating facet of Jake's play.
Rumours of his off field behavior became progressively louder as well and even his teammates were publically outing him on instagram for missing physio appointments. Inevitably, a lazy player who doesn't go to physio gets injured which gives him more time to get up to mischief. Of when I say mischief, I mean "Saints fun with the moral compass of Stephen Dank" rather than a quiet night in with friends, Monopoly, and then in a few hours ex-friends.
There was a genuine unease within the Bulldogs playing group as the season wore on, exacerbated by revelations Jake had cheated repeatedly on his pregnant partner with a variety of skanks including a 17 year old schoolgirl and has SFA cash left to him after gambling most of it away.
He still wasn't fit enough to run much through the midfield, was hardly getting the ball, wasn't kicking goals, wouldn't provide defensive pressure, showed all the professionalism of a Fevola Brownlow interview and was about as good a teammate as Edward Scissorhands on an inflatable dingy.
Given he was shown to be lazy, unprofessional, a terrible human, arrogant, coasting through life on minimal effort and offering 'injections' to a variety of 'comely lasses o' virtue questionable' - 16 of the 17 clubs decided he wasn't really worth chasing. I mean, where would someone with such a horrible character fit in, and...
.. of course.
A club recovering from a drug scandal with a chemist for a coach and an ex-coach who attracted a cult-like following despite putting the club into a precarious position in the first place (not to mention that, despite being married, his pants were purely decorative only) was obviously the perfect fit for Jakey and his snakey. At the very least, Essendon once again have a well known rider on their list.
Jake, Stringsy, good luck at your new outer suburban home. I hear Tullamarine is lovely during the summer. Welcome to the Bottom 50.
TedDougChris
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You forgot to mention that said club, when replacing the players that were banned for taking illegal substances, then went and recruited someone who had just completed their ban for taking illegal substances, showing the integrity and ethics for which they are renowned for...
Aramis
Premiership Player
- Jul 31, 2016
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Analogous to how the Bulldogs also let him just freeze on the outer... he could have survived, all he needed was some f****** support.
PS. the pain is real in your Jake Stringer post... You tried to be strong but the scars shone through.
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