Favourite 12th man moment

[arzach]

"And for the croquet fans, once again, we'll have **** all for you."

Chappelli: "And its a ****ing head."
Javed: "You lucky prick!"

Pakistan are going to kick off? What f*****g game are we playing here?


Forgot about this one...

All Richie:

Now in these reduced overs matches, the umpires have to decide how many overs are to be bowled, if and when the rain should stop. Not only that, they must also decide the new run rate required by the batting side, per the new number of overs to be bowled...

And they do this by multiplying the number of balls bowled, by the number of balls faced. Then diving that figure by the average age of the batting side, minus, the number of spanners in a sidchrome tool kit.

...if play to recommence sometime in the next half hour, 45 mintures, Sri Lanka would have to be scoring somewhere in the vicinity of 35 to 36 runs an over, or there abouts. Not an impossible task, but pretty f*****g close to it.

And:

Imran Khan was left out of this Pakistan side, as his name was just a little bit to hard to take the piss out of.
Rubish Binny was left out, but, no one collected him.

 

[dylan101]

The Taxi ride is funny stuff

A couple of my favourites

Tony: Ikeepmyteethinajarbesidesthebed plays that one out towards point, they're going for a single here Wadayamean Wasi gonna have to hurry here the throw from Dean Jones hits the stumps and Wasi run out without scoring.

Bill: Of course he was run out without scoring Tony ya w***er.

Tony: Well that's what I just said Bill, Wasi out you stupid a-hole.

Bill: Wadayamean Wasi out Tony, look at the ****en replay.

Tony: I don't need to see the bloody replay Bill I've already said Wasi out for a duck.

Anything with Hansie Cronje is always funny, especially commentating with Tubby in the Final Dig.

Tubby: South Africa would have to be shitting themselves at the prospect of playing this aussies in this sort of form Hansie

Hansie: Yes Mark it's a safe bet they would be shitting themselves I'll give you the tip. Selectors are gambling on some of the new players finding form, and I know a couple of senior players are desperatly needing to fix their games.

Tubby: You'd be able to help them there Hansie

Hansie: They've been out of form recently and my inside information is that a couple of senior players may not last until the end of the tour in fact the whisper is that one players already been told to book his ticket home.

Tubby: Is that right Hansie

Hansie: Book his ticket, Just give me a moment will you Mark, Hello John, It's me Hansie, I wanna put a bet on,

Tubby: Chris Cairns in again now to Ricky Ponting, Gee that was close, The ball just took off at an acute angle. It's obviously hit on of those large cracks that Tony Greig showed us earlier on. As a matter of fact if you take a look at our crackcam replay you can see just what happened. That's hit Joe the camera man there in the head. He just came out for a breath of air it looks like and bingo, he's copped it right on the melon, it's why the ball deviated so much and in the end just missing the outside edge of Ricky Pontings bat.

Hansie: Now what are the odds of that happening Mark. A hundred to one, two hundred to one.

Tubby: I wouldn't know Hansie.

Hansie: I bet thats never happened before to a crackcam cameraman. I bet you a thousand dollars it's never happened before, cmom a thousand bucks lets go,

 

[Scotland]

One of the good longer scenes...

Tony: 'G'day dudes, awe we ready to rock?'
Bill (muffled): 'Excuse me mate this is a restricted area, you're not allowed in here'
Tony: 'Puss off Bull it's me you dopey bawsted'
Bill (muffled laughing) 'Oh, what have you got on your head. Stop it's hurting my nose'.

The exchanges continue for a good 5 minutes, funny stuff.

Who could forget the Hansie/Tubby commentary exchange when John the cameraman cops a ball to the head...

Hansie: 'Now what are the odds of that happening Mork? 100-1, 200-1? I bet you that's never happened before to a crack cam cameraman.'
Tubby: 'Well, no-'
Hansie: 'I bet you a thousand dollars that's never happened before.'
Tubby: 'Look, no-'
Hansie: 'Come on, a thousand bucks.'
Tubby: 'Well Hansie, it wouldn't have happened before, coz crack cam's only new.'
Hansie: 'Well that's probably right. I bet you a thousand dollars he gets hit again today.'
Tubby: 'No thanks Hansie-'
Hansie: 'Come on, a thousand bucks.
Tubby: 'Look, n-'
Hansie: There's a gorilla on the table now, let's go.'
Tubby: 'No thanks-'
Hansie: 'Come on, a thousand bucks, what are you?'
Hansie: 'You bloody wuss'.

 

[Scotland]

Well what are the odds of that happening dylan101? 100-1, 200-1? I bet you that's never happened before, two posters posting the same thing simultaneously without knowing...

 

[Xtreme]

Tony: Mark Taylor playing a very silly shot indeed, trying to smash that one over midwicket. A big edge and in the end the keeper takes a very simple catch.

Bill: Well I don't know how you can call it a silly shot Tony? At none for 200 odd after 20 overs, it's not like his f*****g team's in any trouble. Why wouldn't you have a go? (ya stupid prick).


Bill: Grahemy Labrooy? His name's Graeme Max...

Max: Yes, well. All his team mates have such long and complicated names. Seems a shame for this young man to miss out. I think I'll just go on calling him Grahemy.

Bill: Jeez you're f****d in the head sometimes Max.

I love stuff like:

"To me a grudge is nothing but a place to poark your coar"

 

[flight23]

its called walking max.........ya ********

 

[footyfreak]

I thought this thread was about everyone's favourite memories of when they have actually been 12th men.

On the subject of that, has anyone been made to do anything funny or stupid when they have been 12th men for a cricket team?

classic carbs

he's back mofo's, he's back!!!!!

 

[Stinga]

One of my favourites is the comentators on the plane with the footy yobos on a footy trip.

One of the yobbos goes up to Tony Greig and says " Hey Tony (pulls his pants down) i can se a crack opening up, you think you can get the key in?"

 

[Cousin Jed]

The Fuglies!

If you park the tiger on my Georgio Amarni your arse is grass.

 

[Stinga]

I'm also a big fan of when Richie got up in the morning and met the wife in the kitchen and when he's practicing his calls for the upcoming match.

"Hi Darl, great to see you here, for the first time today"

(toast pops) "Whatacatch, WHAT a catch"

(goes off to the shower) "I'll be back here for breakfast in just a few moments"

 

[Hollow Knight]

I'm also a big fan of when Richie got up in the morning and met the wife in the kitchen and when he's practicing his calls for the upcoming match.

"Hi Darl, great to see you here, for the first time today"

(toast pops) "Whatacatch, WHAT a catch"

(goes off to the shower) "I'll be back here for breakfast in just a few moments"

And MAxie practicing in the shower. "Yeeeeeeesssss, Yeeeeeeeeeesssss... welcome back, welcome back.... yeeeeeeessss"

 

[Scotland]

I really love when he gets stuck into the Chappells.

From Still the 12th Man:

Richie: 'C'mon, show us what you've got. I haven't heard you for a while.'
Greg: ' Allan Border, coming into bat now, for Australia.'
Richie: 'That's good, that's pretty good. I like the way you're cutting off the first half of every word there that's nice. And the same upward inflection on everything, you'll be annoying the s**t out of the viewers in no time.

To Ian in the same album...

Richie: 'Good calling, and just remember to keep it up vibe, and keep it interesting. No crapping on for hours with boring anecdotes or anything like that.'

From Boned:

Ian: 'Gee, well that's a bit of, uhh bad luck Rich.'
Richie: 'Well thankyou for that keen observation Ian.'

And who could forget Ian's Shakespeare in The Final Dig:

Ian: 'Friends, C*nts, Romanrymen. Lend me your ears. I am here to praise the berry, not to cease it.'

 

[pjcrows]

"Icanski... Noyoucantski now... passes across to Whocanski... Fillyouresky... Good pass to Sonofabitch... now on to Dawickedwitch... nice passki to Whocanski... the keeper comes out of the box... ****offyabitch, it's a goal! That's his second... England in deep shitski"

 

[pjcrows]

Richie: "OK, Bill, I'm off to have lunch with Sir Richard now..."
Bill: "Oh but I just thought..."
Richie: "That's OK Bill... you thought wrong"

 

[dylan101]

Anyone know of any wired world of sports 2 torrents?

 

[Brad Goodman]

Pearce off.

 

[thewhippersnapper]

Anyone know of any wired world of sports 2 torrents?

Try here that has all of the albums but you can just choose which one(s) you want/don't want in your torrent program.

 

[dylan101]

Try here that has all of the albums but you can just choose which one(s) you want/don't want in your torrent program.

Thanks

 

[Belnakor]

Kids: Hey Richie! How about an autograph?
Richie: Sure, why not.
Kids: Who should i make it out to? Just the Dear Ritchie?
Richie: bah what the ****? gone, piss off you cheeky little bastards! gan! piss off.
Kids in the background: Got em! What a catch, a marvellous effort that!
Richie: Garn piss off!

 

[Geelong_Bisons_#36]

Max Walker: The batsmen showing the bowler the full 4 + 1/4 inches of his blade.

Richie: Which u also did this afternoon Max.

Max: I'll think you'll find she was a little more than 4 +1/4.



Richie: Security, if Max Walker comes within 10feet of this ****ing door shoot him ok?

Security: Yes Mr Benaud.

later on when Max has snuck into the Channel 9 area...

Security: Sorry Mr Benaud I turned my back for a second and he was passed me in a flash, I called for him to stop but he wouldn't, then my bloody gun jammed.


Bill Lawry: Beautiful spell of bowling from Simon Oddonell. Inswinger, Outswinger, Bouncer here , and a yorker there, every ball a real corker. Simon Oddonell's had a ball e i e i o.

From Wired World of Sports 2.

Ken Sutcliffe (practising his commentary in the dressing room): Hit's the pad there's a big appeal. UUHHH!! (hit on the head)

Max Walker: and that's out Kenny my boy. There's no way a bloody male model from Mudgee is going to rob me of my rightful ****ing place, on the commentary, ****ing, team.

BUT ALL TIME FAVOURITE HAS TO BE:

BILL: Buried in his guts? That's the best caught and bowled u r ever likely to see my friend. Merv Hughes take a magnificent reflex catch to take his hatrick on the MCG. It's a great day for Australia, it's a great day for the world, and it's a great day for the great man. I love him I want to boof him get him up here.

Tony: Geez, settle down Bill.

Bill: No I won't Tony, **** you, **** the rain, **** Sri Lanka, **** Australia's 560 runs. Merv, Merv, Merv

 

[stmookeyj]

[youtube]sONjH9sE1GY[/youtube]


[youtube]FfbPx6YGxes[/youtube]

 

[ams4crows]

My Favourites are all from The 12th Mn Again

– Ritchie “Well Bill I’d go one step further than that even and say that I think the Hi-5 Should be out-lawed from the game all together. It’s just a bit of sepo Bull S*** that the West Indies introduced to the game and I reckon when it comes to congratulating one of your team mates there’s simply no better way of doing it with the traditional Australian Hug or a Kiss or a lick, a grope on the arse or a bit of a dry root. It’s still the most appropriate way I think of showing ones exuberance and excitement and it’s certainly the most masculine and manly ways of going about it.”

Ritchie “An innings played under extremely difficult conditions, just before the commencement of play this morning Tony Greig jammed another bunch of those ****ing keys into the pitch and once again he hasn’t been able to get the ****ing things out. This will be the 4th time I’ll have to drive him home this summer and I can tell you I’m getting pretty pissed off!”

Tony Greig “Well that’s certainly true Ian, Imran Kahn there’s never a shortage of Attractive young Aussie girls keen to get to his members end and face a couple of balls and he’s hung like a rogue elephant too Imran Khan. I’ll never forget on the 72, 73 tour with the rest of the world team I was sharing a room with him and one night he cracked one through the covers and I can tell you that little hotel bed of his blew up into something that resembled one of those huge Pakistani marques and boy oh boy was that something to behold.”

Tony Greig “Well Bill I think these little Sri Lankan’s are appealing against the light.” Bill Lawry “What are you ****ing talking about the lights have been turned on for the last hour.” Tony Greig “Yes well I’ve been pretty turned on myself with the sight of these little Sri Lankan’s here tonight.” Bill Lawry “Oh s**t here we go.” Tony Greig “In their magnificent dark blue uniforms set against the back drop of these bright MCG lights and I have to say these little fellas would be pretty strong contenders for the best dressed team award, the Aussies too looking very smart in their Cannery Yellow here.” Bill Lawry “Cannery Yellow? That’s Australian Gold my friend and don’t you ****ing forget it!”

 

[Jascave]

Here's another gem from the first 12th Man album:

Darrel Eastlake: "Well, NSW skipper Wayne Pearce looking pretty groggy down there, don't know if he's able to come off, Ronny Gibbs warming up down on the sidelines. Yes, Wayne Pearce is helped off the field now, Ron Gibbs comes on to replace him, and as Big Jack (Jack Gibson) rejoins me in the commentary box , that's a big blow for NSW, Pearce's off Jack."

Jack Gibson: "What did you say?"

DE: "Pearce's off, Jack, Gibbs on."

JG: "Don't tell me to p... off f..

DE: "OH, BIG JACK JUST HIT ME, I'VE GONE CRASHING TO THE GROUND, HO HO!"

 

[DIG]

When Max got the sack and is streaking across the ground.

"Look at that thing..no wonder they call him tangles"

"It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple"

and

Bill: "Got him! Is he...**** off! Is he..........no says Umpire Strikesback"

 

[shammersting]

Maxy doing the Wide world of Sports theme with his nose and hearing the producer in the background yelling out 'oh what the F..... when he does it at the beginning of the show. And Peter Cavan headbutting Tony Lockett's elbow...