Official Team Thread 🐻 Las Vegas Bears S35 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ - Congratulations Cap BnF Winner

[tony]

After enduring multiple seasons of disappointment and enduring Coach Walken's abuse and torment, it's time for a much-needed change. We've decided to bid farewell to Coach Walken and his relentless ways, burying him deep in the Las Vegas Desert where he can't cause any more harm. It's time to embrace a new era of coaching, one that uplifts us, motivates us to be our best, and truly believes in our abilities. That's why I am thrilled to introduce our new coach for Season 36, Ted Lasso. With his gentle soul, motivational spirit, and unwavering belief in our team, we embark on a journey of renewed hope and the pursuit of greatness. Welcome, Coach Lasso, to the Las Vegas Bears family, where we leave behind the shadows of the past and step into a bright future.



Statement from Mr Ted Lasso

Well, howdy, everyone! First off, let me just say what an honour it is to be here in Las Vegas and to be named the coach of the Bears. Now, I gotta be honest with you all, I'm stepping into uncharted territory here because this is my first time coaching qooty. And let me tell you, I don't understand the rules just yet, but I'm excited to learn.

Now, I've been doing some reading about this qooty thing, and I have to say, it's quite fascinating. I mean, who would've thought that a game involving a ball, some goalposts, and a bunch of players running around could get so complicated? But hey, I'm up for the challenge!

I've had some people ask me, "Ted, how can you coach a sport you don't even understand?" And you know what I tell 'em? "Well, I once coached a little league team in Kansas, and I didn't understand half the things those kids were saying either, but we still managed to have a good time!" So, I figure, if we can have fun playing with words we don't understand, why not do the same with qooty?

But seriously, folks, the great thing about coaching is that it's not just about knowing all the rules. It's about building relationships, fostering teamwork, and creating an environment where everyone feels supported. And I think we can all agree that those things transcend any sport or rulebook.

So, while I might be the new guy in town, I promise you this: we're going to have a blast figuring out qooty together. And hey, if anyone's got a spare rulebook lying around, I'll be happy to borrow it and use it as a bedtime story. It might help me get some sleep!

And you know what, folks? In this journey of ours, there's one thing I want you to remember: believe. Believe in yourselves, believe in each other, and believe in the power of teamwork. That's the catchcry of this team. When we step onto that field, let's carry the belief in our hearts and let it guide us through every pass, every shot, and every victory.

Belief is a funny thing, you see. It's like a spark that ignites the fire within us. It's what keeps us pushing forward, even when the odds are against us. So, let's embrace that belief, let it fuel our passion, and let it be the driving force that propels us to greatness.

Now, let's go out there, have some fun, and show the world that sometimes, not knowing all the rules can lead to the most exciting and unexpected victories. So, buckle up, Las Vegas, because the Bears are about to bring a whole new kind of magic to this city!

Thank you all for being here, and let's get ready to make some qooty history. And remember, if in doubt, just kick the ball and hope for the best! Cheers, everyone!

And remember, if all else fails, just give it a good old "Ted Lasso try." Who knows, it might just work!

Together, we're going to create something special. We're going to write our own story, and it's going to be one for the ages. So, let's strap on our boots, put on our game faces, and let the world witness the power of belief in action.

Now, let's go out there, have some fun, and show the world what believing can truly accomplish. Onward, Bears! Let's go out there and make the impossible possible!

Cheers to belief, to qooty, and to the magic that awaits us!

 

[tony]

Shadow Man ftw

Ouch, 27 touches and no votes. He might have been robbed a vote or two their.

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, gather around as we celebrate the rise of new stars in the realm of Qooty. Tonight, I have the utmost pleasure of presenting the highly esteemed Best Rookie award to a remarkable young player who has captured our hearts and sent shockwaves through the league. But before we dive into the limelight, let's give a thunderous round of applause to our fellow rookies, CountryLad and 4cunningTonneTruck. These lads have shown immense potential and contributed greatly to our team's success, leaving us in awe of their talent.

Now, let's direct our attention to the sensational young player who has secured the crown of Best Rookie, RonnieRaven! This rising star has burst onto the scene with the swag and charisma of a seasoned pro. His talent is as dazzling as his rhymes, and his rapping skills are on par with his footy finesse. Ronnieraven has proven that he can drop beats on the field and spit fire with his game.

In his rookie season, Ronnieraven has already made a significant impact. Not only was he ranked as the 5th best player for the Bears based on Dream Team points, but he also managed to set a unique record of giving away the most free kicks for the team, 22 in total! Ronnieraven has inadvertently perfected the art of giving away free kicks to the opposition. It's like he's conducting a symphony of rule violations that leaves umpires blowing their whistles in exasperation.

But jokes aside, Ronnieraven's ability to learn and grow from these experiences is commendable. Despite a few extra whistles, he has shown great resilience and determination, proving that mistakes can be stepping stones to success.

Congratulations, Ronnieraven, on winning the Best Rookie award! You have charmed us not only with your skills on the field but also with your lyrical prowess. May your journey with the Las Vegas Bears continue to be filled with electrifying moments, witty rhymes, and maybe a few less free kicks. Keep dropping those beats, mate!

 

[tony]

 

[tony]

The Stadium in the Sky was buzzing as the Las Vegas Bears took on the Fighting Furies in Round 12. The Furies came out with guns blazing, kicking the opening 2 goals of the game. The Bears were quick to respond, thanks to the experience of veterans Jezmiester40, Matera92, and Broken. The Bears managed to take a slender 1 point lead into quarter time, leaving the Furies feeling like they'd been sucker-punched.

In the second quarter, the Furies fought back hard, kicking 5 goals to our 2 and leaving the Bears trailing by 3 goals at half time. It was a tough pill to swallow, but the Bears were determined to come back stronger in the second half.

However, inaccuracy proved to be the Bears' Achilles heel in the third quarter, as we managed to score just 6 points while the Furies kicked 2 goals, leaving the margin at 27 points going into the final quarter. It was a tough ask for the Bears to come back from such a deficit, but we were not going to give up without a fight.

In the last quarter, the Bears' defense stood tall and managed to keep the Furies goalless, giving us a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, our accuracy in front of goal proved to be our undoing, as missed shots on goal killed off any chances of a comeback. Unfortunately, our shots on goal were about as accurate as a drunk monkey throwing darts blindfolded. The Furies held on for an 8-point victory, and we were left wondering where we went wrong.

In the space of a month, we have gone from sitting pretty at the top of the ladder to being outside the top 8. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but the team knows they need to dig deep and regain their form if we want to make it to the finals. Our next match against the top of the ladder Royals will be a true test of our skill.

Broken's good run of form in front of goal continued with 5 goals and Matera chipped in with 2 goals.

Muddiemoose had his boots on the wrong hooves with 4 points and CountryLad was trying to round up some points like a herd of cattle, but unfortunately, he only managed to corral 3 points without a goal.

Cap, Grin, Millky95, MWPP, RonnieRaven, Shadow Man & Supersuns all topped 20 possessions for the day.

JoshWoodenSpoon got donuts for the day and Test Tickle in his 1st game back for the season also managed to get 0 disposals despite taking a mark and winning a free kick, what he did with the ball on both occasions is a mystery.

MWPP's Fun Game Fact: Not only was it close on the overall scoreboard, but in other areas as well. Both teams had exactly the same number of kicks (134) and hitouts (10) , and almost the same number of marks (49 v 48) and Inside 50's (16 v 17)


Broken Millky95 Cap kane249 Electronic_Renaissance Test Tickle

 

[tony]

After 12 Rounds its pretty tight at the top of the Leaderboard with Cap and Millky95 only being separated by 1 vote. Electronic_Renaissance is within striking distance but will need to start getting a move on if he wants to win his first frying pan.

 

[Cap]

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to honour the heart and soul of our beloved Las Vegas Bears. Tonight, I have the absolute pleasure of announcing the winner of the highly esteemed Best Clubperson Award which was voting on by the playing group. This exceptional individual embodies the essence of what it means to be a true bear, and her name is MWPP!

MWPP is the epitome of bear greatness, and the team adores her with a passion that rivals her love for Harry Potter. She brings a touch of magic to our club, not only behind the scenes but also as an influential member of our esteemed Leadership group. MWPP's dedication and commitment to the Bears is truly spellbinding.

Whether it's organising team events, managing logistics, or brewing up some polyjuice potion for post-match celebrations, MWPP is always there, casting her enchanting charm on everything she does. She can multitask like Hermione Granger, juggle responsibilities like Fred and George Weasley, and bring the house down with laughter like the Marauders themselves.

MWPP's unwavering support and genuine care for her fellow bears make her an invaluable asset to our club. She's like the Remembrall of our team, always ensuring that no detail is forgotten, and that our spirits remain high.

So, let's raise our wands, oops, I mean glasses, to MWPP, the ultimate bearer of the Best Clubperson Award! Congratulations, MWPP, for enchanting us with your presence, spreading joy throughout the team, and proving that magic truly exists both on and off the field. We are honored to have you as part of our bear family!

 

[Cap]

Congrats MWPP another worthy recipient

 

[tony]

The Las Vegas Bears travelled to Gold City to take on the top-of-the-ladder Royals, who were on a roll, while we were on a three-game losing streak. It was a must-win game for us, and we started strong by kicking the first three goals of the game, setting the tone for what was to come.

From that moment on, the Bears dominated the game, putting on a clinic for the rest of the match. By the end of the first quarter, we had a comfortable 14-point lead, but we knew we had to keep the momentum going.

In the second quarter, we kicked six goals to the Royals' four, extending our lead to 26 points. It was a great team effort, but the highlight of the quarter was seeing our full-back, JoshWoodenSpoon, kick a goal. It was a rare feat for a defender and a moment we will cherish.

The third quarter was when our defense became an impenetrable brick wall, keeping the Royals scoreless, while our forwards had a field day, kicking another six goals for the quarter. We knew we had the game in the bag, but we didn't let up, determined to finish strong.

With a 66 point lead going into the last quarter, the game was all but won for the Bears. But we weren't finished yet. Our defense stood up again, only conceding one goal, while our forwards continued to pile on the pressure, kicking another four goals to cruise to an 84 point win.

It was a great team effort from start to finish, and we couldn't be happier with the result.

Muddiemoose's kicking has been about as accurate as a blindfolded bear trying to hit a piñata. He's only managed to score 7 points over the last 2 matches and 1 goal and 10 points over the last 5 games. Maybe we need to get him a pair of glasses.

The Bears had a field day in front of the goals, with Broken continuing his fine form and leading the charge by kicking 5 goals for the game. Jezmiester40 turned back the clock with a vintage performance, also slotting 5 goals. Art Vandelay_ bounced back from his absence last week to contribute three goals to the team's tally. Cap, CountryLad, Matera92, Millky95, and even defenders JoshWoodenSpoon and Senor M got in on the action, each kicking a goal to round out a dominant team performance.

Despite our dominant performance, only two of our players managed to accumulate over 20 disposals for the game: Cap with 23 possessions and 12 hitouts, and Matera with 24 possessions. However, it was a team effort, with most of our players getting at least 10 disposals each. Our even performance is a testament to our team's cohesion and ability to work together towards a common goal.


Matera92 Cap Jezmiester40 Supersuns JoshWoodenSpoon Dingster Millky95

 

[Cap]

I feel we really missed our finals run

 

[tony]

THE SIM CAN GO AND GET ****ed!!!
After a great win last week, we travelled to the BJO and started well again. We went into half time with a 27 point lead and the feeling in the Bears changerooms was one of happiness, but what happened in the 3rd quarter changed all that. The sim decided that it would give us a nasty surprise and insert a 10-inch rod up the rear end of the Bears, unlubricated!

A 27 point lead turned into a 34 point deficit, and the game was over faster than you can say “ouch”. After removing the rod that the sim had so kindly inserted in our rear end, we managed to win the last quarter and cut the final margin to 28 points. That’s something, right? This just tops off the downward spiral the Bears have been on over the past 6 weeks. We have gone from the top of the ladder to being out of the 8 and currently have the worst form in the league. But hey, at least we have a good sense of humor.

CountryLad lead the way with 19 touches and 2 goals, Shadow Man 18 touches and 1 goal, Millky95 17 touches and 1 goal, and Cap 16 touches, 14 hitouts and a goal.

Broken kicked 5 goals and CountryLad was the only other multiple goalkicker with 2.


Broken CountryLad Cap Shadow Man kane249 Dingster RonnieRaven

 

[tony]

I feel we really missed our finals run

Yeah I still don't know how we missed out on finals this season.

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to reveal the recipient of the highly esteemed Captain's Award. Let me start by saying that this decision was far from easy. There were so many outstanding individuals within our team who could have been worthy recipients of this prestigious honor. In fact, I changed my mind several times before ultimately settling on the winner.

Without further ado, I am thrilled to announce that the winner of the Captain's Award is none other than JoshWoodenSpoon! Give him a round of applause, folks!

Joshwoodenspoon, a remarkable member of our team and an invaluable part of our Leadership Group, has consistently demonstrated exceptional dedication and selflessness both on and off the field. His unwavering commitment to the team has been truly inspiring, providing valuable assistance in countless situations within the LG.

Now, I must admit, I'm at a loss for words. You see, I already used up all my creativity and wit during Josh's Hall of Fame induction last night. So, let's just pretend there's a hilarious and side-splitting joke here that leaves you all in fits of laughter. Trust me, it was the funniest thing ever!

Now, let's raise our glasses and toast to Joshwoodenspoon, the well deserving winner of the Captain's Award. Cheers, mate! May your future endeavours be filled with success, laughter, and an endless supply of wooden spoons!

 

[tony]

This week we travelled to the Eyrie to play the Phoenix, it was a cold, rainy and miserable day and the day didn't get any better for us with the Phoenix kicking the first goal of the day and us kicking as accurately as this kid trying to hit a piñata, in the first quarter.



After struggling with accuracy in the first quarter, we were relieved to see RonnieRaven kick a goal with our first shot on goal in the second term. This was the first of four lead changes for the quarter, making it an exciting back-and-forth battle. Although the Phoenix dominated the final part of the quarter, their inaccuracy kept us within striking distance, giving us hope for the rest of the match.

Going into the second half, 11 points behind, the Bears knew the first goal of the quarter was important. Tommycash delivered the goods, but the Phoenix quickly cancelled it out with one of their own. With Muddiemoose continuing his streak of behinds, it was up to kane249 and Tommycash to step up and kick back-to-back goals, putting the Bears back in front. However, as per the game's pattern, the Phoenix hit back with a goal to retake the lead heading into the final quarter.

At three-quarter time, the difference was only four points, so the first goal of the final quarter was crucial. Unfortunately, the Phoenix kicked the first two goals of the quarter, pushing their lead to 17 points, the highest it had been all game. However, the Bears didn't give up, and when kane249 kicked back-to-back goals, we were within one goal. Matera92, kane249 and Jezmiester40 all had shots at goal that could have given us the win, but all missed. In the dying seconds of the match, Dingster passed the ball to Tommycash, who hurried a kick towards the goal. However, the sim ended, leaving us all in suspense about what could have happened with that kick.

Goals: 4 kane249, 2 Jezmiester40 & Tommycash, 1 Matera92 & RonnieRaven
Possessions: 18 Dingster & Tommycash, 16 Supersuns, 15 Test Tickle, 14 Muddiemoose & Cap who also had 11 hitouts.

Muddiemoose has now kicked 1.12 over his last 7 games, that has to be some type of all time record of shitness. Please Moose, put on your glasses, I promise we won't call you four eyes.

ER Fun Fact: The Nevada Test Site, some 100km from Las Vegas, was established in 1951 for the testing of nuclear weapons. Mushroom clouds could be seen from Las Vegas and became a tourist attraction. They were even advertised as such, with scheduled times of detonation and the best viewing locations being listed.




Tommycash Cap Supersuns Dingster Muddiemoose Broken

 

[tony]

Cap has had a very good 3 rounds since we have last seen the leaderboard and now has extended his lead to 11 votes and looks on his way to winning his 3rd Mateflon Medal. Can anyone catch him?

 

[RookiePick]

Was wondering why I wasn't getting any tag notifications.

Then I remembered you campaigners dropped me.

More Bundy innkeep!

 

[Jezmiester40]

Sorry I'm late! What'd I miss?

 

[tony]

This week, we welcomed the Dragons to Las Vegas, and we were so welcoming to them that we let them kick the first five goals of the game. After going goalless in the first quarter, we finally kicked into gear in the second quarter and kicked four goals in a seven minute burst to get ourselves back into the game. It must have taken all our energy out because we let the Dragons kick the next four goals, and from that point, the game was over.
The second half saw the two teams go goal for goal, with the margin bouncing between 23 & 36 points. The final margin was a convincing 27 point win to the Dragons, which all but ended our chances of making the finals this season.

The one positive to come out of this game was Muddiemoose finally kicking straight and getting himself a goal.

Matera92, Millky95 and I Dont Care were our multiple goal kickers, each with 2 goals. Supersuns had the highest number of possessions with 24, followed by RonnieRaven with 21, Millky95 20,
Electronic_Renaissance 19, Matera92 18 and Dingster 17.

JWS Says: Heritage shmeritage. Next year we're introducing negative Mateflon votes.


Millky95 MWPP CountryLad Supersuns Art Vandelay_

 

[Cap]

Yeah I still don't know how we missed out on finals this season.

I feel ripped off.

Hopefully next season.

 

[Cap]

Sorry I'm late! What'd I miss?

Test Tickle did a nudie run

 

[tony]

Was wondering why I wasn't getting any tag notifications.

Then I remembered you campaigners dropped me.

More Bundy innkeep!

Did you notice our drop in form after we dropped you, that will teach us.

 

[Jezmiester40]

Test Tickle did a nudie run

Oh really? Dammit! And trust me to arrive on my donut game

 

[tony]

Sorry I'm late! What'd I miss?

Not much, everyone is passed out from last night.

 

[Jezmiester40]

Not much, everyone is passed out from last night.

Feeling so left out right now since i gave up the booze