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AFL Premiership Round 20
Hawthorn V Melbourne

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Sunday Aug 15
MCG 2:10 PM (Local Time)
Melbourne Forecast Melbourne Radar


Ladder:

Season Win/Loss

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The Melbourne Perspective:

PLEASE NOTE THIS INTERVIEW IS FICTITIOUS AND PERTAINS ONLY TO FOOTBALL MATTERS:

Drawing back on a Malby Red, I stood next to the Sir Kenneth Luke Stand in the late afternoon and beheld the remnants of VFL Park. The famous scoreboard was dust. The nearby dam, where I had once swum in my youth, was now a cesspool of mud. Squat little boxes, masquerading as town-houses, stretched to the horizon and beyond. I turned my attention back to the remaining grandstand. For whatever reason, its concrete reminded me of a bunker. Without warning, an image of Klaus von Stauffenberg – the hero who had tried to assassinate Hitler at the Wolf’s Lair - flashed through my mind. What could it mean, I asked myself. Was destiny knocking on my door?

“The Leader will see you now,” a prim-looking guy in a brown-shirt (with yellow lapels) boomed out. I looked down at my suitcase. All that it contained was a half eaten apple and a notepad – alas, there was no bomb.

“Follow me!” he ordered curtly. “And put out that cigarette. They’re forbidden here; and if you want to eat something, only vegetarian meals are allowed.” With his jackboots echoing in my ear, he led me down a dark corridor into the bowels of the Sir Kenneth Luke Stand. I passed through a metal-detector. He left me in a large room with a marble floor. There were no windows. Gloom-ridden, I was now alone in the office of the Leader.

To the right, there was a large hawk statue – or at least I thought it was a hawk – with its wings outstretched triumphantly. Its talons had the world in its grasp (and someone had wrapped a hideous Hawthorn scarf from the 1970s around its neck). The ten premiership cups were nearby, gleaming like bullion. The walls were plastered with various Weg posters from the premiership years and endless snapshots of September glory. I asked myself: is this Victory Disease? Were the Melbourne offices like this back in late 1964 after the twelfth premiership had been claimed? Hubris never goes unpunished; but with a young-enough Buddy on the list, who can say when the Day of Reckoning will come for the Hawkers? Downcast, I felt like the prophet Daniel at the court of King Belshazzar, surrounded by ill-begotten gold. Oh, for someone to write Mene, Mene, Tekel u-Pharsin on the wall: ‘You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting – your kingdom is divided and it cannot stand,’ but there no room on the walls for any such message to be inscribed.

The door opened and an all too familiar person strutted in.

“Ahhh, Biffinator, welcome to the Eagle’s – oophs, the Hawk’s Nest,” he boomed.

“Jeff, it is a great honour to meet you,” I replied. One of his adjutants also appeared.

“Are you sure that you don’t want a red wine?” Jeff offered as he settled into his chair. “It’s getting late in the day. I have a nice little vintage from an estate in the Barbarossa – what am I saying - the Barossa valley!”

I declined this offer, requested a coffee and sat down.

“Jeff, thanks for your time. I am a big fan of yours. I thought you were a terrific Premier of Victoria. I was really disappointed when you were defeated by Hack-Bracks. If you have been given more time then perhaps . . . .”

That was the last word I got in for the next ten minutes or so. Jeff went berko. Evidently the mere mention of his successor (and his own downfall) was enough to send him into a rage, and oh, how the wind blew! He pounded a map that lay on his desk. Froth bubbled out of his mouth. His eyeballs were bulging forth from his skull. Guttural words peppered his speech. Watching on in amazement, I sensed that his secretaries and adjutants in the office outside were standing on the other side of the door to eavesdrop in. Ten minutes later, the tempest finally died away. He drew a deep breath and sipped away at his water. Thinking it best to ignore the entire episode, I congratulated him on the successful venture into Tasmania and asked him what lay ahead.

“Hawthorn’s Reich –Biff, what is wrong with me today – reign is going to last over 1000 years,” he boomed as colour returned to his face. “That means we must expand overseas. Europe, for instance, is an untapped market. We can blitz them easily. Under my leadership, the Hawthorn Football Club will unleash an onslaught – marketing-wise, I should add - into Poland, followed by Norway, Holland, Belgium, France and the Balkans – they are all ripe for the picking. There is a lot of growth potential in Russia. It is largely untapped. If we want to remain a superpower, we should invest our energies there. As always, we will follow the Hawthorn Way: One Team - One Goal - One Leader.”

“So one day, a yellow and brown scarf will be flying from the bell-tower of the Kremlin?” I asked.

“Yes, Moscow,” he murmured dreamily. “Moscow.”

Behind him, the fax-machine stuttered into life. Jeff leapt from his chair to scrutinise the incoming fax.

“Good, good,” he trumpeted, doing a jig on the spot. “Eddie over at Collingwood has just signed our Non-Aggression-Pact. There is no reason why the two Super-Powers of the league cannot respect each other’s sphere of influence. This alliance will be permanent. We are certainly going to keep our end of the bargain!”

The smirk on his face became more pronounced. Something is up, I thought to myself; but he ain’t gonna tell me.

“Jeff, what are your views on the current health of the league?”

“Biffinator, there is no other way to put it, but it is time for a final solution. The successful clubs must head off in one direction; the sickly clubs, in another! Yes indeed, the latter must be euthanized. Norf is a running sore; Port is a failed experiment; your own Demons are a joke – yes, a joke with no debt but no money; St Kilda will never win anything; Sydney is being propped up by the league. It is the survival of the fittest. We are strong and we are going to become stronger. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a brown and yellow boot stamping on a human face—forever!”

After a moment’s thought, he added.

“And once St Kilda has been given the bullet, they won’t need their colours anymore. We might incorporate them into a new away jumper for the Hawthorn Football Club.”

I sighed.

“Jeff, the recent membership results made for sobering reading. It is astonishing how many kids you’ve signed up as members.”

“Yes, yes. We are very proud of the Hawthorn Youth. They’re well drilled and disciplined. We will be holding some rallies for them soon. When an opponent declares, ‘I will not barrack for the Wee & Poo’, I calmly say: ‘Your child belongs to us already... What are you? You will pass on. Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp. In a short time they will know nothing else but this new juggernaut.’”

There must have been a function occurring elsewhere in the complex. Faintly, we could hear their rendition of ‘We’re a Happy Volk at Hawthorn’. Jeff’s eyes, in response, went glassy.

“Yes, yes,” he muttered to himself. “Hawthorn uber alles!”

He stood bolt-upright. His right arm – menacingly – began to arc towards the ceiling.

“Don’t do it Jeff,” I shrieked. “Just don’t do it.”

I reached for a nearby glass of water and threw it in his face. He dropped his right hand to his side. Before he could react any further, a Hawthorn official burst into the room, followed by a sheepish-looking Buddy.

“Great Leader, I have some calamitous news to report,” he said breathlessly.

I was quickly shooed out of the room. As I walked past Buddy, I whispered.

“Well done, dumb-arse. Garland is waiting for you. Dees by 1 point.”

And I made good my escape.

Biffinator

 

[Deefolt]

The fact that you put the point up the top disturbs me... have some people questioned?

NONE THE LESS! Another great addition Biff, even more so you can picture it haha

 

[grizzlym]

Terrific preview, Biff.

One thing to add re Il Duce: sadly, getting the trains to run on time was beyond even his abilities

 

[stretcharmstrong]

Great work Biff, lol more than once! I liked

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a brown and yellow boot stamping on a human face—forever!

 

[RandB]

Your best yet Biff.

Funny to see JK over ruling his generals (I mean coaching staff) after their latest battle.

I managed to get a breakdown of the HFC membership Biff, a classified document which was smuggled out in one of Jeff's paintings...

German Sheppards: 6%

Spitzes: 4.8%

Pinschers: 4%

Rottweilwers: 3.2%

Schnauzers: 1.8%

Bavarian Mountain Hounds: 0.2%

 

[d33my]

This is my favorite one Biff.

“Hawthorn’s Reich –Biff, what is wrong with me today – reign is going to last over 1000 years,” had me lolling, then:

“Yes, yes,” he muttered to himself. “Hawthorn uber alles!”

He stood bolt-upright. His right arm – menacingly – began to arc towards the ceiling.

“Don’t do it Jeff,” I shrieked. “Just don’t do it.”

I reached for a nearby glass of water and threw it in his face."

Lost my s*** completely.

 

[Captain Jack]

vintage

 

[Deefolt]

in:
morton
miller
warnock
out:
TBA

 

[Deefolt]

Preview from dees site

Matt Burgans Preview

Match details
Hawthorn v Melbourne, Sunday, August 15, MCG, 2.10pm

Teams

Melbourne
B: Colin Garland, Jared Rivers, Clint Bartram
HB: Joel Macdonald, James Frawley, Rohan Bail
C: Tom Scully, James McDonald, Cameron Bruce
HF: Jamie Bennell, Jack Watts, Austin Wonaeamirri
F: Liam Jurrah, Brad Green, Colin Sylvia
FOLL: Mark Jamar, Lynden Dunn, Aaron Davey
I/C (from): Jordie McKenzie, Nathan Jones, Jack Trengove, Brad Miller, Matthew Warnock, Paul Johnson, Cale Morton
In: Miller, Warnock, Morton
Out: -

Hawthorn
B:
HB:
C:
HF:
F:
FOLL:
I/C (from):
In:
Out:

Media coverage
Television: Channel 7 (Melbourne, 3.00pm - One hour delay); Radio: Triple M, 3AW

2010 form
Melbourne: LLWWWLLLWLLDLLWLWWW
Hawthorn: WLLLLLLWWWWWWWLWDLL

Ladder position
Hawthorn: 8th, Melbourne: 10th

Head-to-head
Played: 151, Hawthorn: 77, Melbourne: 74

At this ground
Played: 71, Hawthorn: 36, Melbourne: 35

Last time they met
Round 1, 2010: Hawthorn 17.15 (117) d Melbourne 8.13 (61), MCG

Coach v coach
Alastair Clarkson: 4 wins, 0 losses
Dean Bailey: 0 wins, 4 losses

Injury list
Melbourne
Max Gawn (knee) - season
Jack Grimes (hamstring) - test
Jordan Gysberts (back) - indefinite
Danny Hughes (ankle) - test
Neville Jetta (shoulder) - season
Stef Martin (hip) - season
John Meesen (foot) - season
Brent Moloney (quad) - 1 week
Ricky Petterd (shoulder) - season
Jake Spencer (back) - indefinite

Hawthorn
Max Bailey (knee) - indefinite

Summary
The Demons have won four of their past five matches - their best streak under Dean Bailey. Remarkably, after 14 rounds, the Dees had just four wins and a draw to show. But wins over Essendon, Sydney Swans, Brisbane Lions and Richmond, now puts Melbourne in the picture for September. The Demons enter round 20 in 10th position with 34 points and a win over the Hawks will put them level with the brown and gold. Still, the fact Melbourne has come from a dark place - winning back-to-back wooden spoons in 2008/09 - means Bailey is hellbent on winning quarters and maintaining consistency first and foremost. Understandably, the red and blue faithful is excited at the prospect of finals action, having not tasted it since 2006. The momentum is building and this Sunday’s clash against Hawthorn will be Melbourne’s biggest test this season. It’s a far cry from when the Hawks smashed the Demons in the opening round this season - arguably Melbourne’s worst performance for 2010. Yet Hawthorn’s season quickly went south when it lost six in succession, before bouncing back significantly with seven wins in a row. But just one victory and a draw from its past five matches adds further intrigue, meaning Melbourne enters this match as clearly the form team.

Players to watch

Melbourne - Lynden Dunn: Since settling back into the side, following his recall in round 12, Dunn has grown in statue. Last round against Richmond, he kicked a career-best five goals, giving him 11 majors from his past three matches.

Hawthorn - Lance Franklin: The superstar Hawk booted 4.4 in Hawthorn’s 44-point loss to Sydney Swans last round. He has now booted 48 goals for the year. His duel with in-form defenders Colin Garland or James Frawley will be intriguing.

Leading disposal winners so far in 2010
Melbourne: Cameron Bruce (423)
Hawthorn: Luke Hodge (289)

Leading goalkickers so far in 2010
Melbourne: Brad Green (47)
Hawthorn: Lance Franklin (48)

How’s stat?
Melbourne has not defeated Hawthorn since round eight, 2006. The Demons have lost their past five encounters against the Hawks.

Memorable match
Round 9, 1926: Melbourne 21.28 (154) d Hawthorn 1.7 (13), MCG

Melbourne’s greatest winning margin occurred in this match, when the red and blue won by a whopping 141 points. It was the final in a sequence of five wins, and was said to be one of the easiest victories in Melbourne’s history. It was played on an extremely wet, muddy MCG. Harry Moyes kicked six goals and acting captain Ivor Warne-Smith controlled the entire game, as well as kicking three goals himself. For the record, Melbourne went on to win its second premiership in 1926.

Foot in both camps
Gordon Bowman, Michael Byrne, Robert Carroll, Albert Chadwick, Bert Chandler, Alastair Clarkson, Chris Connolly, Bill Deague, David Elliman, Roger Ellingworth, Ken Feltscheer, Tom Ferguson, David Flintoff, Lew Gough, Bob Herbert, Clarrie Lethlean, Les Meade, Keith Molloy, Jack O’Keefe, ‘Jack’ Pickford and Ralph Shalless

What Dean says …
“It’s clearly a very important game, absolutely. It’s going to be a great challenge for us, and if we play the way we did [last Sunday], it’s going to be a real struggle for us, because the Hawks certainly make you pay on the turnover. Eventually you like to play in as many of these types of games as you can. It’s coming to the end of the year for us, so it’s a great challenge and there’s going to be an enormous amount of pressure on us as there is the Hawks".

Key Melbourne question
Can Melbourne record its fourth win in a row, which would be a first under Dean Bailey, and keep its September flame alive?

 

[Buddha117]

Loved the 1984 reference; If you want a picture of the future, imagine a brown and yellow boot stamping on a human face—forever!

Good old O'brien

 

[Dez!]

I found the leading disposal winners interesting.

Bruce 423, seems normal enough but then Hodge with 289 as the leading disposal getter for Hawthorn.

 

[Deefolt]

I found the leading disposal winners interesting.

Bruce 423, seems normal enough but then Hodge with 289 as the leading disposal getter for Hawthorn.

it either leads to two things, either we over possess the ball ala geelong, or hawthorn has a much much more even spread.

I think over possessing the ball might be the answer in this case.

Its remarkable to see how even the clubs have been since hawks entered the VFA/VFL/AFL

 

[KillerWatts]

Another great preview Biff.

I found the leading disposal winners interesting.

Bruce 423, seems normal enough but then Hodge with 289 as the leading disposal getter for Hawthorn.

Yeah that seemed a bit odd, it's actually a typo. Should be 489.

 

[proka123]

Key to winning this game = Putting Bruce onto Hodge. He did the job on Ryan O'keefe a few weeks back and he can obviously win his fair share of the ball aswell.

 

[The Kipster]

Absolute GOLD a very fine read indeed Biff, 9/10 due to your vision of a 1pt Demon win...

All the Best

 

[Captain Jack]

NO CHANGE

Melbourne
B: Colin Garland, Jared Rivers, Clint Bartram
HB: Joel Macdonald, James Frawley, Rohan Bail
C: Tom Scully, James McDonald, Cameron Bruce
HF: Jamie Bennell, Jack Watts, Austin Wonaeamirri
F: Liam Jurrah, Brad Green, Colin Sylvia
FOLL: Mark Jamar, Lynden Dunn, Aaron Davey
I/C: Jordie McKenzie, Nathan Jones, Jack Trengove, Paul Johnson
Emg: Brad Miller, Matthew Warnock, Cale Morton

Miller unlucky...

 

[d33my]

Best outcome IMO. I do feel for Brad though, all jokes aside, I think his best chance of playing regular AFL footy is the Gold Coast. I hope something works out for him.

 

[Deefolt]

I honestly think they just didn't want to change the formula, I think that Miller has a future in our future.

 

[Dez!]

I honestly think they just didn't want to change the formula, I think that Miller has a future in our future.

Explain?

He's had what 9 years to show something and he hasn't, I don't understand how you can say he's got a future at the Melbourne Football Club.

 

[Deefolt]

Explain?

He's had what 9 years to show something and he hasn't, I don't understand how you can say he's got a future at the Melbourne Football Club.

I know you are not his number one fan, but if didn't show so much early you wouldn't hate him this much. Look at Daniel Ward not as good player but not a single comment about him back in the days.

You need to stop overrating him. I think that is what most peoples problem with him is.

 

[Dez!]

I know you are not his number one fan, but if didn't show so much early you wouldn't hate him this much. Look at Daniel Ward not as good player but not a single comment about him back in the days.

You need to stop overrating him. I think that is what most peoples problem with him is.

This has nothing to do with me not liking Brad Miller, also if there is one thing I don't do when it comes to Brad Miller and that's overrate him.

Now can you please tell me some valid reasons as to why after 9 years that Brad Miller still has a future with the Melbourne Football Club?

 

[Demon Revival]

Dez, just enjoy the fact Miller is not named in the team, everyone knows 9 years is time enough to make you mark on the game, but sometimes one has to be supportive of all of the players at the club of which we support & at the very least be subtle with our anger & venom...

 

[Deefolt]

This has nothing to do with me not liking Brad Miller, also if there is one thing I don't do when it comes to Brad Miller and that's overrate him.

Now can you please tell me some valid reasons as to why after 9 years that Brad Miller still has a future with the Melbourne Football Club?

He is still young...ish at 27, he is just break out game from everybody calling him cult status.

When I say overrate I mean you say he should do one thing but he obviously cant climb to your hights. Give him a lower bar then rate him. Bizzells biggest problem at geelong was that people compared him to ablett once, they thought he was as spud. As soon as melbourne we got him we changed him to a pretty good player, as we werent expect ablett.

People once compared him to Lyon, if miller was at another side I could see him doing a Bizzell and performing in their 22.

That may just be me though.

 

[Dez!]

He is still young...ish at 27, he is just break out game from everybody calling him cult status.

When I say overrate I mean you say he should do one thing but he obviously cant climb to your hights. Give him a lower bar then rate him. Bizzells biggest problem at geelong was that people compared him to ablett once, they thought he was as spud. As soon as melbourne we got him we changed him to a pretty good player, as we werent expect ablett.

People once compared him to Lyon, if miller was at another side I could see him doing a Bizzell and performing in their 22.

That may just be me though.

High expectations? I have no expectations of him, again he's had 9 years and to have not "broken out" yet means he never will.

It doesn't matter who he was compared to, the fact is he's of absolute no use to the Melbourne Football Club and I'd prefer to start developing a Fitzpatrick instead of the list clogger in Miller.

You still haven't given me a reason as to why we should re-sign him?

 

[FOOOOTY]

You still haven't given me a reason as to why we should re-sign him?

Well hes certainly got the forwards currently in the side on notice to play well, thats something....