Game Day Qualifying Final: Collingwood v Geelong MCG(our home, not theirs) Saturday 4:35pm

[sideswipe]

PIES
F Nicky D Miho Joshy D
HF Jamie DarceC Rambeau
C JNoble of the House of Orange Tay IQ
HB Crispy Murph Pendles
B Bruz DarceM Howey

Foll OurMase Remy'sprotector Steele
I/C AJ Lipinski Ginni WHE

Pussies
B Tuohy De Koning Bews
HB Duncan Henry Stewart
C Smith Selwood Holmes
HF Close Cameron Miers
F Stengle Hawkins Rohan
Foll Stanley Blicavs Dangerfield
IC Atkins Guthrie Guthrie Kolodjashnij

Don't know why I bothered writing the above. If you have come to this thread seeking information on the line-ups or anything else, then you are a dickhead.

You might be wondering, "Why is this f-wit doing the Game Day Thread? Where is everyone's favorite Game Day poster, the one who doesn't want to upset anyone and writes nice things just so he can get more likes?"

Well, let me tell you. WalterBlaknWhte is on holiday in Bali and has asked me to step in to fill his Frankston moccasins. Given Walt is a teetotalling vegetarian(true), the only thing he should be taking a holiday from is himself. Whilst this is the game day thread, I am observing the now time-honored tradition of The Premature Preview. Walt says to do it this way to make sure you get in first, just like when you make love.

Onto the preview. Firstly, f-k Geelong. Growing up, there were two types of Cat supporter.

The first was the landed gentry Western Districts fool who went to Grammar, is an MCC member, attends the footy in moleskins and RMs. A truly odious individual whose one claim to fame was a forebear who had the rat cunning to be first off a boat, onto a horse and headed West to stake a claim. They know very little about football and less about farming.

The second, more popular version is your more typical Geelong inhabitant. A ne'er do well who ended up in Sleepy Hollow because they couldn't cut it in the big smoke. Now out of work because the Ford factory shut. Lucky that social security goes a long way in Norlane.

There is now a third. The one who says they like Geelong because of the "surfcoast lifestyle". Truth is they live in a housing development nowhere near the beach and the only surfing they do is internet-based.

Regardless of the type, they will be very worried about this weekend. Deep down all Cats supporters are still those neurotic pre-2007 battlers who expect to lose anything important.

Their players are mentally and physically weak. And so very old. Dangerfield's calves and Cameron's hammies are no bueno. Expect one of them to go down early. Probably Danger as that self-obsessed clown is so petrified of finishing his career without a flag that he simply over-exerts in the big games, and produces nothing. Remember his 12 disposal gem in the 2020 GF? Of course you don't. No one does.

Us on the other hand? Can't see us losing.

Special mention to Brody Mihocek

41

Brody Mihocek

Age

31

Ht

192cm

Wt

99kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.9

3star

K

8.2

3star

HB

3.7

3star

M

5.3

5star

T

2.0

4star

G

1.6

5star

D

8.4

2star

K

6.3

3star

HB

2.1

2star

M

4.3

4star

T

1.9

3star

G

1.7

5star

D

10.2

3star

K

6.4

3star

HB

3.8

3star

M

4.6

5star

T

1.8

4star

G

1.6

5star

for racking up his 100th. That he is doing this in his fifth season is a tribute to him. What a gun. Think it might be time for him to kick his first bag of 5 or more. Has kicked 4 on 12 separate occasions.

Expecting big things from Jordy and Tay will give us that bit of extra grunt through the middle.

I could go on, but am getting bored. Guessing you are too.

Pies by 23. Can't wait for the Prelim.

 

[Prestigerrycomo]

Geelong really is the club for w@nkers.

Most other support groups I find you can have a sensible discussion despite the banter

Geelong supporters I’ve met in real life cannot dare have a single slight against any of their players

Hope we smash ‘em!

 

[manicpie]

Beautifully written sidey

 

[unplugged]

Great OP, would read again.

 

[live fast pieyoung]

wow! every post a winner in that preview sidey

 

[Vicky Park]

Thanks Swipey. Very cutting and very funny prose, and all very accurate and plausible.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about why we’ll win, and this is why:

I think the Cats will burst into tears at the sight of Maynard, and run straight into the McCreery brick wall in their haste to escape.

Ginni will tell Selwood how much he loves him, and Selwood will give away a 50 in disgust.

Chris Scott

Chris Scott

Age

47

Ht

182cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.6

4star

K

11.2

4star

HB

5.4

4star

M

5.1

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.4

3star

No current season stats available

D

13.2

4star

K

10.2

4star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.2

3star

T

2.8

5star

G

0.4

3star

will spend so much time looking in the mirror and adjusting his hair, that he’ll miss all of Fly’s genius moves.

The big lumbering bloated Geelong forwards will crash into each other while trying to adjust to the vast expanses of the foreign stadium.

Naicos will dance through his first final, finding it supernaturally easy.

Older brother will meet up with him on the wing and play kick to kick.

AJ will be his usual nonchalant self, and wonder what all the fuss is about as he slots several beautiful goals off his beautiful boot while wearing a beautiful smile (I’m a bit taken with Ash…)

And on a slightly more serious note, Maynard will be the player of the finals series. He was born for it, and has been building towards it for all of his career. Bookmark it.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Even Chris Scott

Chris Scott

Age

47

Ht

182cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.6

4star

K

11.2

4star

HB

5.4

4star

M

5.1

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.4

3star

No current season stats available

D

13.2

4star

K

10.2

4star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.2

3star

T

2.8

5star

G

0.4

3star

's beard will reject him after this game

What a joy it is to be back in finals after 17th

Jamie, Maynard, Double Daicos, Pendles, Darce etc etc

Big game players

We've got this


Collingwood by 64 points

 

[Gone Critical]

and remember it doesnt matter if we lose because getting to the prelim without another break is the new proven flag path......

 

[Gone Critical]

Even Chris Scott's beard will reject him after this game
Contribute to The Roar

What a joy it is to be back in finals after 17th

Jamie, Maynard, Double Daicos, Pendles, Darce etc etc

Big game players

We've go this


Collingwood by 64 points

Reclaim your footwear please

 

[Kirby]

and remember it doesnt matter if we lose because getting to the prelim without another break is the new proven flag path......

I see what you did there...

 

[jathanas]

The '22 AFL season has been a wild ride for pies fans and this game day preview is a befitting start to the finals series.

Excellent work sir sideswipe , kudos.

I could type 1000 words, none of which would augment what has already been written, so here's a gif of Chris after Ginni kicks his 4th:

P.S: I must point out an innacuracy in what has been an otherwise excellent write-up. WalterBlaknWhte does not wear moccasins, he strongly prefers Ugg boots.

 

[Harry O]

Mitch Duncan a late out ?

 

[DuckToaster]

I'm glad we're getting a home final, Nice of geelong to give it to us.

 

[Markfs]

i remember last year they were scraping the barrel trying to find someone to write these things....obviously we've scraped through the barrel and we're using the crap underneath it....

but on a less serious note, i was watching the game last night and i cant remember the amount of times that i thought brisbane were disconnected, gutless and petrified....and they won..

logic says that we'll win because we play as a team...as long as that's not ARC logic. In all the geelong euphoria, no one at fox has remembered to mention that geelong has been worse than brisbane at finals over the last decade. I'm sure their players know that.

 

[Chrispiesssss]

I thought I’ll do an analysis on the impact of Adams & De Goey without Grundy (Anzac Day - Round 6).

Since Grundy got injured in round 6, Adams & De Goey have played 9 games together out of 16.

Since the Bye (round 14) Adams and De Goey have only played together against the (16) GCS & (20) Port (Adams played 37%).

Since Round 6-

Adams with JDG has had 39 clearances from 9 games (this includes Adams injury game). Average : 4.33

Adams with JDG has had 16 Center clearances. Average : 1.77

JDG with Adams has had 38 clearances from 9 games. Average: 4.22

JDG with Adams has had 17 Center clearances from 9 games. Average: 1.88.

The above is when they have played together since round 6.

In the games they didn’t play together since round 6.

Adams has played 3 games without JDG. Average clearances : 6.33 & average Center clearances : 3.33

JDG has played 2 games without Adams. Average clearances: 6.5 & average Center clearances: 3.5.

Individually, they EACH perform better when both of them are not playing together.

However, I’ve gone a step further and analysed how the team has performed.

In the games that JDG & Adams played together, we won overall clearances in just 2 out of the 9 games. The games we lost clearances by we lost on an average of 6.6 clearances (3,4,16,5,3,14,8).

We had 2 big losses in clearances (GCS -14 & WBD -16) and both of those games were away from the MCG. GCS at Metricon & WBD at marvel who always smash our midfield.

In the games that JDG & Adams didn’t play together (post Grundy), we won clearances 2 out of 7 games. The wins were against GWS with no ruckman (keeffe & green) and Adelaide’s very young midfield. However, we lost our clearances by an average of 10.83 clearances per game (7,15,22,7,14).

Although JDG & Adams seem to perform better individually (small sample size) without each other. However, when both JDG & Adams are not in the team we lost clearances by an average of an EXTRA 4 clearances.

We should see a significant balancing of the clearance ledger on Saturday. Last time we played the cats, we won clearances (Grundy did play).

Furthermore, in our clearance losses at the mcg, we average a loss of 7.8 per game. Only won 2 against demons on QB & GWS giants. However, in our clearance losses at the MCG without JDG & Adams, we average a loss of 14 per game. WE DOUBLE OUR CLEARANCE LOSS FROM 7 to 14 WHEN JDG & ADAMS DONT PLAY.

I think a good way to summarise all of this is to compare the 2 Carlton games.

In round 11, Carlton had a better midfield (Cripps,Walsh, Hewett, Dow) and we lost clearances by 5 with JDG & Adams playing. However, in round 23 with only JDG playing against Cripps, Cerra, Setterfield and Docherty, we lost clearances by 14.

Adams playing is massive for us! Hopefully he gets through the whole game, we break even in the midfield and our defence can have a breather.

 

[Markfs]

Individually, they perform better when both of them are not playing together.

In round 11, Carlton had a better midfield (Cripps,Walsh, Hewett, Dow) and we lost clearances by 5 with JDG & Adams playing. However, in round 23 with only JDG playing against Cripps, Cerra, Setterfield and Docherty, we lost clearances by 14.

well thanks for clearing that up... i thought we would be better with both de goey and adams playing but it seems that we won't be better unless both are playing and one isn't playing.

 

[Chrispiesssss]

Magpies and Cats meet for 26th finals clash

If it’s September, it must be Geelong.

www.collingwoodfc.com.au

 

[Chrispiesssss]

well thanks for clearing that up... i thought we would be better with both de goey and adams playing but it seems that we won't be better unless both are playing and one isn't playing.

Hahaha fair call. What I meant was (and the stats show) that each perform better on an individual basis when the other isn’t in the team.

However, the team does better when both are playing.

 

[Markfs]

i remember so much of my high school maths. I use it every day to count my toes in case one has dropped off during the night...

i remember a problem in probability. You tossed a coin 9 times and it comes up heads every time. Just before the next toss, you bet on the result. The chances of a head is 50/50 unless the coin is stuffed. The chances of tossing 10 in a row is one in 1024.....so will it be a tails? The chances of a tails after 9 consecutive heads is 1023 in 1024. Of course, if the coin is warped, all bets are off..

sorry i just had to post this...i'm a compulsive tosser...

 

[Markfs]

Hahaha fair call. What I meant was (and the stats show) that each perform better on an individual basis when the other isn’t in the team.

However, the team does better when both are playing.

maybe because they are spending more time on the ball when the other isnt playing.... or maybe they're in some closet relationship...

well at least we know that we're a better side with both of them playing.

 

[gerryg400]

i remember so much of my high school maths. I use it every day to count my toes in case one has dropped off during the night...

i remember a problem in probability. You tossed a coin 9 times and it comes up heads every time. Just before the next toss, you bet on the result. The chances of a head is 50/50 unless the coin is stuffed. The chances of tossing 10 in a row is one in 1024.....so will it be a tails? The chances of a tails after 9 consecutive heads is 1023 in 1024. Of course, if the coin is warped, all bets are off..

sorry i just had to post this...i'm a compulsive tosser...

After 9 heads in a row the odds of a 10th head are 100%. Clearly at that point you are dealing with a 2 headed coin.

 

[No SPIN]

I thought I’ll do an analysis on the impact of Adams & De Goey without Grundy (Anzac Day - Round 6).

Since Grundy got injured in round 6, Adams & De Goey have played 9 games together out of 16.

Since the Bye (round 14) Adams and De Goey have only played together against the (16) GCS & (20) Port (Adams played 37%).

Since Round 6-

Adams with JDG has had 39 clearances from 9 games (this includes Adams injury game). Average : 4.33

Adams with JDG has had 16 Center clearances. Average : 1.77

JDG with Adams has had 38 clearances from 9 games. Average: 4.22

JDG with Adams has had 17 Center clearances from 9 games. Average: 1.88.

The above is when they have played together since round 6.

In the games they didn’t play together since round 6.

Adams has played 3 games without JDG. Average clearances : 6.33 & average Center clearances : 3.33

JDG has played 2 games without Adams. Average clearances: 6.5 & average Center clearances: 3.5.

Individually, they EACH perform better when both of them are not playing together.

However, I’ve gone a step further and analysed how the team has performed.

In the games that JDG & Adams played together, we won overall clearances in just 2 out of the 9 games. The games we lost clearances by we lost on an average of 6.6 clearances (3,4,16,5,3,14,8).

We had 2 big losses in clearances (GCS -14 & WBD -16) and both of those games were away from the MCG. GCS at Metricon & WBD at marvel who always smash our midfield.

In the games that JDG & Adams didn’t play together (post Grundy), we won clearances 2 out of 7 games. The wins were against GWS with no ruckman (keeffe & green) and Adelaide’s very young midfield. However, we lost our clearances by an average of 10.83 clearances per game (7,15,22,7,14).

Although JDG & Adams seem to perform better individually (small sample size) without each other. However, when both JDG & Adams are not in the team we lost clearances by an average of an EXTRA 4 clearances.

We should see a significant balancing of the clearance ledger on Saturday. Last time we played the cats, we won clearances (Grundy did play).

Furthermore, in our clearance losses at the mcg, we average a loss of 7.8 per game. Only won 2 against demons on QB & GWS giants. However, in our clearance losses at the MCG without JDG & Adams, we average a loss of 14 per game. WE DOUBLE OUR CLEARANCE LOSS FROM 7 to 14 WHEN JDG & ADAMS DONT PLAY.

I think a good way to summarise all of this is to compare the 2 Carlton games.

In round 11, Carlton had a better midfield (Cripps,Walsh, Hewett, Dow) and we lost clearances by 5 with JDG & Adams playing. However, in round 23 with only JDG playing against Cripps, Cerra, Setterfield and Docherty, we lost clearances by 14.

Adams playing is massive for us! Hopefully he gets through the whole game, we break even in the midfield and our defence can have a breather.

We won clearances by 4 when we last met Geel and won CP by 23.

 

[Chrispiesssss]

We won clearances by 4 when we last met Geel and won CP by 23.

Grundy was in the team and gave us 8 clearances & 12 CPs.

My whole analysis is based on him not being there and JDG/Adams carrying the load.

 

[Ginnieboy]

Game should have been tonight.

 

[JoinDate]

* Geelong

* the town

* their players

* their supporters

but especially

* their roosterhead of a coach

roosterhead