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The Grand Final Rematch
My dad used to tell me that when it comes to a Grand Final rematch, the runner-up of the previous year usually wins, due to the revenge factor. In the lead up to our third Grand Final rematch in four years, I decided to take a close look at the numbers.
Turns out that, unsurprisingly, when you put two good teams against each other the result is essentially a coin flip. Since 2011, five reigning premiers have won their rematch, with five going to the runners-up. Going back a little further, reigning premiers have won 12 of the last 20 Grand Final rematches (with five in a row from 2001–2005). With such a small sample size, due to the fact that I simply can’t be bothered going back further, we’ll still have to call it a 50/50 game, although if you had to say one way or the other, you’d lean toward the reigning premiers winning the second bout.
What does all this mean? Simply, it means that Darth_Tiger was wrong. Whether you won or lost the previous Grand Final is pretty much a non-factor in the rematches. We’re yet to win a Grand Final rematch, so I give us every chance of finally snatching one. However, recent word on this board is that we are in serious trouble, so I think we’ll need a bit of a shake-up to defeat the boys from Moe by the Sea again.
Geelong (AKA the Boys From Moe by the Sea)
The Cats have had a mix of results this year, but overall seem to be building into the season. All the while, Chris Scott continues his mid-life crisis, which began on 8 September 2017, became a mid-life disaster on 20 September 2019, and reached mid-life full-blown nuclear meltdown on 24 October 2020.
Now, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really watch this weekend’s Sydney vs Geelong game too closely. However, I had it on in the background while playing video games and noticed that the Cats were up 41–13 at quarter time. I heard Richo say something about them taking 42 marks and being +17 in contested possession, so I guess that’s something we want to avoid.
While it seemed that the Cats would probably give Sydney a pummelling, they decided to head back to Alphabet Soup Stadium, presuming the job to be done already. Why did this happen? I think I have the answer:
Everybody knows that Geelong hates youths. They don’t recruit youths and they don’t like playing against youths. Rumour has it that Alphabet Soup Stadium will soon have a strict no children allowed policy. So, when three Sydney players with under 15 games of experience kicked a goal each, Geelong went into panic mode. They proceeded to give up their 29 point lead and lose the game, with Gryan Miers faking an injury to avoid matching up on Rhyan Mansell next week. A shame, as it would have been the “Battle of the Ryans Whose Parents Can’t Spell”.
Richmond (The Greatest Team Ever Assembled)
Despite thrashing an inconsistent St Kilda two weeks ago, our form since has been horrific. Losing to the top two teams on the ladder is simply unacceptable for a team stacked with premiership heroes. Of course, I didn’t even bother watching our game against the Bulldogs. I read last week’s preview thread and became convinced that we stood absolutely no chance against the Greatest Midfield Ever Assembled™. Then when captain blood 17 and Michaels tipped the Dogs in the Tigercast, I knew we were well and truly screwed. Instead, I elected to play Dungeons and Dragons, and have been too afraid to check how many points we were obliterated by ever since.
Thankfully, the Richmond board is full of experts who know significantly more than our match committee and coaches, so I have taken some suggestions from our own and I think I have a plan and team that can get the Tigers back on track for premiership #14.
As we know, Geelong hates youths, so let’s get as many youths in the side as we reasonably can, considering form. I suggest that Naish, Rioli Jnr, Coleman-Jones and Stack all come into the side, along with Martin. Vlastuin is also a chance to return, after being concussed by Dangerfield six months ago in the Grand Final. Dusty and Tigga are both under 30, so they are allowed to play, even though they aren’t really youths anymore. Let’s also select Caddy, because everyone adores Caddy at half-forward.
Next, we need to clear out all the spuds that have pictures of Dimma with his second mistress. We can easily get rid of Rioli, Castagna, Aarts and Pickett. We still need to clear some spots, so let’s get rid of some of the older players who should have retired last year anyway. Cotchin is 31 and has done his hamstring again, so he’s obviously gone. Let’s also kick Houli and Riewoldt. Astbury and Edwards are very lucky to keep their spots.
Thus, Shadowthorn’s proposed team to thrash the Cats is:
SUB: Martyn
Do this, and the Cats will be running back to their bowling alley stadium by quarter time. We can get our season back on track after obviously losing to the Bulldogs on Friday night, and we’ll be one step closer to getting a top 10 draft pick from Geelong.
The Key Matchup
Hawkins and Cameron vs Traffic Cone and Balta
Last year, Balta gave Hawkins an absolute bath in the Grand Final. Against the Swans this weekend, Hawkins went two quarters without a disposal (from late in the 1st to 1:50 left in the 3rd, with his 4th disposal of the game resulting in a missed shot on goal). Balta would be wasted on Hawkins, so he’ll no doubt be lining up on Cameron instead, handing Hawkins over to the babysitter, a traffic cone.
Shadowthorn’s Expert Tip
If we play the youths: Tigers by 98
If we play the same spuds as usual: Cats by 17
My dad used to tell me that when it comes to a Grand Final rematch, the runner-up of the previous year usually wins, due to the revenge factor. In the lead up to our third Grand Final rematch in four years, I decided to take a close look at the numbers.
Turns out that, unsurprisingly, when you put two good teams against each other the result is essentially a coin flip. Since 2011, five reigning premiers have won their rematch, with five going to the runners-up. Going back a little further, reigning premiers have won 12 of the last 20 Grand Final rematches (with five in a row from 2001–2005). With such a small sample size, due to the fact that I simply can’t be bothered going back further, we’ll still have to call it a 50/50 game, although if you had to say one way or the other, you’d lean toward the reigning premiers winning the second bout.
What does all this mean? Simply, it means that Darth_Tiger was wrong. Whether you won or lost the previous Grand Final is pretty much a non-factor in the rematches. We’re yet to win a Grand Final rematch, so I give us every chance of finally snatching one. However, recent word on this board is that we are in serious trouble, so I think we’ll need a bit of a shake-up to defeat the boys from Moe by the Sea again.
Geelong (AKA the Boys From Moe by the Sea)
The Cats have had a mix of results this year, but overall seem to be building into the season. All the while, Chris Scott continues his mid-life crisis, which began on 8 September 2017, became a mid-life disaster on 20 September 2019, and reached mid-life full-blown nuclear meltdown on 24 October 2020.
Now, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really watch this weekend’s Sydney vs Geelong game too closely. However, I had it on in the background while playing video games and noticed that the Cats were up 41–13 at quarter time. I heard Richo say something about them taking 42 marks and being +17 in contested possession, so I guess that’s something we want to avoid.
While it seemed that the Cats would probably give Sydney a pummelling, they decided to head back to Alphabet Soup Stadium, presuming the job to be done already. Why did this happen? I think I have the answer:
Everybody knows that Geelong hates youths. They don’t recruit youths and they don’t like playing against youths. Rumour has it that Alphabet Soup Stadium will soon have a strict no children allowed policy. So, when three Sydney players with under 15 games of experience kicked a goal each, Geelong went into panic mode. They proceeded to give up their 29 point lead and lose the game, with Gryan Miers faking an injury to avoid matching up on Rhyan Mansell next week. A shame, as it would have been the “Battle of the Ryans Whose Parents Can’t Spell”.
Richmond (The Greatest Team Ever Assembled)
Despite thrashing an inconsistent St Kilda two weeks ago, our form since has been horrific. Losing to the top two teams on the ladder is simply unacceptable for a team stacked with premiership heroes. Of course, I didn’t even bother watching our game against the Bulldogs. I read last week’s preview thread and became convinced that we stood absolutely no chance against the Greatest Midfield Ever Assembled™. Then when captain blood 17 and Michaels tipped the Dogs in the Tigercast, I knew we were well and truly screwed. Instead, I elected to play Dungeons and Dragons, and have been too afraid to check how many points we were obliterated by ever since.
Thankfully, the Richmond board is full of experts who know significantly more than our match committee and coaches, so I have taken some suggestions from our own and I think I have a plan and team that can get the Tigers back on track for premiership #14.
As we know, Geelong hates youths, so let’s get as many youths in the side as we reasonably can, considering form. I suggest that Naish, Rioli Jnr, Coleman-Jones and Stack all come into the side, along with Martin. Vlastuin is also a chance to return, after being concussed by Dangerfield six months ago in the Grand Final. Dusty and Tigga are both under 30, so they are allowed to play, even though they aren’t really youths anymore. Let’s also select Caddy, because everyone adores Caddy at half-forward.
Next, we need to clear out all the spuds that have pictures of Dimma with his second mistress. We can easily get rid of Rioli, Castagna, Aarts and Pickett. We still need to clear some spots, so let’s get rid of some of the older players who should have retired last year anyway. Cotchin is 31 and has done his hamstring again, so he’s obviously gone. Let’s also kick Houli and Riewoldt. Astbury and Edwards are very lucky to keep their spots.
Thus, Shadowthorn’s proposed team to thrash the Cats is:
SUB: Martyn
Do this, and the Cats will be running back to their bowling alley stadium by quarter time. We can get our season back on track after obviously losing to the Bulldogs on Friday night, and we’ll be one step closer to getting a top 10 draft pick from Geelong.
The Key Matchup
Hawkins and Cameron vs Traffic Cone and Balta
Last year, Balta gave Hawkins an absolute bath in the Grand Final. Against the Swans this weekend, Hawkins went two quarters without a disposal (from late in the 1st to 1:50 left in the 3rd, with his 4th disposal of the game resulting in a missed shot on goal). Balta would be wasted on Hawkins, so he’ll no doubt be lining up on Cameron instead, handing Hawkins over to the babysitter, a traffic cone.
Shadowthorn’s Expert Tip
If we play the youths: Tigers by 98
If we play the same spuds as usual: Cats by 17
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