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Certified Legendary Thread The Cut

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Morton Boys: We don't have to play football, do we, Daddy?
Morton Snr: Ho ho ho, you betcha. Team sports will keep you away from temptations like rock music and girls.
Morton Boys: Yay!
 
Dees supporters: "Neeeee-eeeeeld! Neeeee-eeeeeld!"
Neeld: "What!?"
Dees supporters: "Neeeee-eeeeeld! Neeeee-eeeeeld!"
Neeld: "What - what is it!?"
Dees supporters: "Game's out there! Ha ha ha - made you look."
 

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Bartram *with ball in hand, looking around nervously for a pass, while opponents close in*: Uhh, ahhh.... Ummm... *Looks towards Mitch Clark sitting on the bench*
Clark: Don't look at me, just pass it stupid!
Bartram: Argh!
*Bartram kicks it out on the full to Clark, then gets poleaxed. Mitch also gets poleaxed*
 
Brian Royal should be first to go.

He is horrible and has killed our midfield.

Anyone would be an upgrade over him.


I would also like to see us hire Matt Rendell as head recruiter. His drafting with the Crows was first class, look no further than today's Crows-Blues game to see why.
 
Neeld: "Ha ha, hi - hi Bailey. Go Dees." :thumbsu:
Bailey: "Do you have a problem with the way I'M coaching!?"
Neeld: "No. No, no. No. It's just, that - well - like I was yelling earlier, it seems anyone with a half-a-brain could coach better than you."
Bailey: "Sounds like someone just volunteered!"
Neeld: "Me? But you were doing such a good job!"
 

Is it tea you're looking for?

8611.lionel.jpg
 

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^^^^Genuine lol.

One constant holds true about this place - the worse the team plays, the funnier this board gets.

And that's why it's the best Melbourne board on the interwebz! :thumbsu:
 
Wanted to have a crack.

Watts: Wow, you're David Neitz!
David Neitz: That's right. My car broke down in front of your house.
Watts: I cannot believe you are here! Do you think you could give me a few pointers?
David Neitz: Sure. There's only one thing you need to know to be a great KPF.
David Neitz's wife: Dave, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock.
David Neitz: Okay, look, I gotta run. [heading back to his car] Remember what I told you.
Watts: [returns to practicing kicking the football] Okay Jack, concentrate.
Jack's thoughts: Remember what I told you... Just one thing... My car broke down... I'm David Neitz... My car broke down... It was just vapor lock... vapor lock... vapor lock...
Watts: I'm dead.
 
Wanted to have a crack.

Watts: Wow, you're David Neitz!
David Neitz: That's right. My car broke down in front of your house.
Watts: I cannot believe you are here! Do you think you could give me a few pointers?
David Neitz: Sure. There's only one thing you need to know to be a great KPF.
David Neitz's wife: Dave, honey, I fixed it. It was just vapor lock.
David Neitz: Okay, look, I gotta run. [heading back to his car] Remember what I told you.
Watts: [returns to practicing kicking the football] Okay Jack, concentrate.
Jack's thoughts: Remember what I told you... Just one thing... My car broke down... I'm David Neitz... My car broke down... It was just vapor lock... vapor lock... vapor lock...
Watts: I'm dead.

Brilliant, thank you :thumbsu::thumbsu:
 
I've defended him at times this season but that's got to be it for Cale Morton. Gone in every sense of the word - if you're the player that's subbed in a loss like that you know you are shit.

Davey gone, Moloney gone, Jamar gone, Tom McDonald gone (has a future but can't kick), Bartram gone.... the list could go on.

Not sure what people have against Bartram his kicking is his only downfall and still it hasn't been that bad this year at all. Tom McDonald will be a serviceable defender. Jamar is actually playing quite well completely dominating the ruck regardless of opponent and it shows as we have been doing ok in the clearances. As for moloney well I'll wait till I can make a thread to discuss the likes of himself.
 

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Not sure what people have against Bartram his kicking is his only downfall and still it hasn't been that bad this year at all. Tom McDonald will be a serviceable defender. Jamar is actually playing quite well completely dominating the ruck regardless of opponent and it shows as we have been doing ok in the clearances. As for moloney well I'll wait till I can make a thread to discuss the likes of himself.

If he keeps the same form he's been showing so far this year I'd keep him a little longer. Unfortunately the guy doesn't have a lot of talent. But he does make up for it in his work rate which has been great this year.
 
An old Melbourne Episode:

Neale Daniher: Craig, do you think you can really get us a quailty midfielder to the club?
Craig Cameron: Well that depends on who is the better negotitor, Matt Rendell or me
Stephen Wells: Craig, ive worked out a three way deal were you win out, ill trade you a delicious Brent Moloney for you to send your crummy old Scott Thompson to Adelaide while we get Brad Ottens
Craig Cameron: Done and done!
 
The red and blueprint

1. Tank.
2. Prepare new logo, hire a trumpeter, have a cup of tea.
3. ??????
4. Premiership.
 
Tell you what, Craig, I’ll trade you the weight of a bowling ball on the eighth moon of Jupiter from my lunch, for the weight of a feather on the second moon of Neptune from your lunch.
 
An old Melbourne Episode:

Neale Daniher: Craig, do you think you can really get us a quailty midfielder to the club?
Craig Cameron: Well that depends on who is the better negotitor, Matt Rendell or me
Stephen Wells: Craig, ive worked out a three way deal were you win out, ill trade you a delicious Brent Moloney for you to send your crummy old Scott Thompson to Adelaide while we get Brad Ottens
Craig Cameron: Done and done!

Adelaide: Now Craig you can either keep Scott Thompson at Melbourne, or you can trade him in for what's in this box.

Craig Cameron: The box the box!
 

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