The Week 9 NBA Thread - where Draymond says goodbye, and Ja says hello

Who will cop the first ejection of the week?

  • Ja for pulling his gun on Pierre the Pelican

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Draymond for headbutting his psychologist

    Votes: 2 20.0%
  • Joker for asking the refs: "Why so serious?"

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Phoenix's medical insurer from Footprint Arena after staging a sit-in protest against Brad Beal

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Elmer after one too many hot takes

    Votes: 8 80.0%

  • Total voters
    10
  • Poll closed .

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May 23, 2012
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Tottenham Hotspur, New Orleans Pels
Hello, and welcome to the brave new world of this week's NBA.

Now that the in-season tournament has come and gone with great success - or at least that's what the league and its media partners keep telling us - it's back to the regular, uh, regular season. Not that anything is standing still here - the NBA continues to evolve at breakneck speed. I don't think Brad Beal has broken his neck yet, so I'm safe to use that term for now.

Like the off-season trade period, it can be tough to keep track of all the comings and goings in the modern NBA, but don't you worry - we've got you covered.


COMING - Ja Morant

Put out your shooting targets and lock away your pugilistic teenagers - he's back.

Whether Ja has actually learned anything from his latest sabbatical remains to be seen, but there's no denying that the Grizzlies could use an infusion of vitality, firearm felonies be damned. After the loss of Dillon Brooks and the enforced absence of half their roster, Memphis has fallen well behind the eight-ball in the ultra-competitive Western Conference.

Des Bane and Jaren Jackson are fine players, but they can only do so much themselves, as is starkly illustrated by the fact that the Griz rank dead last in the NBA in offensive efficiency. So it's fair to say that Ja should be welcomed back, warts and all.

Of course after a 25 game suspension, the NBA in their wisdom decided to schedule the Griz's 26th game of the season against the New Orleans Pels. Maybe Zion can take Ja out for a burger later, provided he doesn't shoot up our team bus first?


pierre-the-pelican.jpg


Vale Pierre II. At least he lived longer than Pierre I.



GOING - Draymond Green

Nothing wrong with the odd Pepsi Max (s/o to Westy Bogan ), but too much Red Bull is never a good thing.

The Dubs are in the midst of a bizarre season, whereby their previously comatose bench has become real strength, but the only thing their formerly formidable 'starting line-up of death' is killing of late is the team's playoff chances. Age and injuries have rendered Klay as more Brick Brother than Splash, and Andrew Wiggins has come full circle and reverted back to Minny Wiggy. Meanwhile Draymond it seems could find beef anywhere, even a chicken Big Mac.

Who knows what's really going on with Draymond, but it's probably fair to say that the Warriors still need him if they're to stand any chance of turning this thing around. Even by modern small-ball standards Golden State is pretty small, and that's before they lost Draymond to the therapy couch.

It'd be a shame to see a famous dynasty meet its demise in such inglorious circumstances, so... get better Draymond, get better!




Draymond is not compos mentis - he's got some bats in the belfry.



GOING - Evan Mobley, Darius Garland

COMING - One hell of a challenge for Cleveland


It kinda went under the radar this week, but the Cavs received a one-two to the groin that 2016-Finals Draymond would have been proud of.

After announcing that Darius Garland would miss several weeks with a broken jaw on Friday, the Cavs issued a second press release ONE HOUR later to issue the further news that Evan Mobley would be out for as long as two months after knee surgery. Cleveland fans haven't felt this depressed since the last tourism video came out.

Given Ricky Rubio is yet another pro taking time away for self improvement and 3rd stringer Ty Jerome is also injured, Cleveland suddenly has a big hole at point guard. Mobley they may be able to cover a little easier, but it's still wholly unwelcome news for a team which hasn't exactly set the world on fire as it is.

The good news is that Atlanta and Toronto continue to be hot garbage, Miami's treading water and Indy is coming back to the pack, so a top-6 finish is still not off the table for the Cavs. Plus in further good news, they're still not Detroit.




Every time I link this video, stewie griffen claims copyright. But he's too lazy to write OPs now, so I'm going to do it anyway.



COMING - Beef

GOING - Humility


Bad blood (insert Magic Johnson groupie joke here) is never far away in the NBA, but lately it seems to have reached epidemic proportions.

The Pacers and the Bucks (and the game-ball) got so out of hand that the Pacers actually went out and re-signed 36-year-old James Johnson to give themselves better martial capabilities. I mean it's a far cry from the Pistons and the Bulls in the 80s or the Knicks and Heat in the 90s, but it is mildly humorous in a petty kind of way.

Meanwhile Draymond seems intent on taking on an entire continent, one 'soft Euro' at a time, not to mention the entire WNBA. And those paragons of professionalism, NBA refs, are making it their mission for fans to witness one free ejection with every large popcorn purchased.

Is it the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East? The fractitous political climate in the US? The Lakers' monopoly on Christmas Day games? What is driving this erratic behaviour?




The 'where' is clear enough - it's omnipresent. The 'why' continues to elude peternorth .



COMING - The Bulls

GOING - Zach LaVine?


The Bulls were 5-14 and had lost 8 of their last 9 when Zach Lavine went down with foot inflammation. Since then Chicago has won five of eight, those three losses have been narrow affairs to the Bucks, Nuggets and Heat, all whilst averaging 119 points per game, a full 10 points over their season average.

It'd be myopic to blame all the Bulls' problems on LaVine, but his absence has allowed for greater balance in their line-ups, given more room for Coby White and even Nic Vucevic to flourish, and given credence to the old maxim that sometimes less is more.

Of course LaVine has been rumoured to - finally - be on the market in the last few weeks, but given his contract and injury problems, not to mention the Bulls' short-term success in his absence, it's fair to say that his trade market is far from robust. That's an issue in and of itself, but it also has a knock-on effect - it's difficult for the Bulls to make further decisions on the likes of DeRozan and Caruso until they have clarity on the LaVine situation.

Lavine purportedly favours a move to the Lakers. What that would do for them, or peternorth 's blood pressure, remains to be seen. Watch this space.



COMING - Expansion?


The rumours continue to fly.

In addition to a timeline, the locations remain a matter of conjecture. I think most would prefer to see the Sonics revived, and significantly an arena is ready and waiting for them. Presuming an an expansion of two teams, opinions probably differ more about the second candidate, with Vegas frequently mentioned.

More broadly speaking, adding two western US/North American teams makes the most sense, if only to serve to shift Minnesota to the eastern Conference, and finally make the 'NorthWest Division' make some freaking sense again. Minnesota ain't exactly Seattle. Meanwhile, on the subject of the Sonics...


GOING - the Wizards, Paycom Centre (formerly Chesapeake Energy Arena), taxpayer money


... their erstwhile owner Clay Bennett has struck a deal to 'contribute' $50 mil towards Oklahoma's new $850 million arena, scheduled for 2030 opening. I'm sure glad that his stealing Seattle's team, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and 15 years of lucrative NBA basketball has brought him such windfalls as to enable him to contribute 1/17th of the cost of a new arena for said stolen team. Public subsidies for rich douchebags - another NBA success story.

There was further big news this week when the Washington (nee Chicago via Baltimore) Wizards (nee Bullets) announced plans to move to Virginia. Given Washington's performance over the past four decades, there has been conjecture on whether Virginia might return the gift to sender.

In practical terms, this is more akin to the Nets hopping the border to Brooklyn than the Sonics being ripped from Seattle, but still noteworthy I guess.

Owner Ted Leonsis announced:

"We are committed to providing world-class fan experiences while continuously evolving our teams, deepening community ties, and solidifying our role as leaders at the forefront of sports and technology''

I'm not sure moving the team necessarily aids in deepening community ties, nor that watching Jordan Poole constitutes a world-class fan experience, or even that Wizards fans would agree to Washington's position as leaders at the forefront of anything other than providing punchlines... but apart from that it's a moving statement. Literally. cough




The entirety of my knowledge about Virginia, expressed in less than three minutes.



COMING UP:

Let's take a look-see at the upcoming schedule, shall we?


Monday - the Rockets visit the Bucks. I have it on good authority that Greeks and Turks don't get along. The Celtics host the Magic AGAIN?

Tuesday - the Wolfies visit Miami in the Jimmy Buckets revenge game. Luka's Mavs visit Joker's Nuggets in the Yugoslav derby.

Wednesday - the Griz bring the big guns to meet the Pels. A very odd 2022 Finals re-match is also on the cards.

Thursday - a heavyweight showdown between the Wolves and Sixers in Philly. 'Ducking' optional. Will the New York 'derby' finally come to life?

Friday - the Magic visit Milwaukee, while the red hot Thunder and Clippers clash. The Old Lakers host the New Lakers in Minnesota.

Saturday - Nick Nurse welcomes his former employers to Philly. A Texas derby between the Mavs and Rockets will help shape the SouthWest Division.

Sunday - The Thunder host the Lakers looking to cement their place among the West's best. The Bucks visit MSG, where hopefully John McEnroe attends.


Enjoy the week, folks.
 
COMING UP:

Let's take a look-see at the upcoming schedule, shall we?


Monday - the Rockets visit the Bucks. I have it on good authority that Greeks and Turks don't get along. The Celtics host the Magic AGAIN?

Tuesday - the Wolfies visit Miami in the Jimmy Buckets revenge game. Luka's Mavs visit Joker's Nuggets in the Yugoslav derby.

Wednesday - the Griz bring the big guns to meet the Pels. A very odd 2022 Finals re-match is also on the cards.

Thursday - a heavyweight showdown between the Wolves and Sixers in Philly. 'Ducking' optional. Will the New York 'derby' finally come to life?

Friday - the Magic visit Milwaukee, while the red hot Thunder and Clippers clash. The Old Lakers host the New Lakers in Minnesota.

Saturday - Nick Nurse welcomes his former employers to Philly. A Texas derby between the Mavs and Rockets will help shape the SouthWest Division.

Sunday - The Thunder host the Lakers looking to cement their place among the West's best. The Bucks visit MSG, where hopefully John McEnroe attends.


Enjoy the week, folks.


Old school rivalry. Gonna be spicy
 

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Stories from back in the day ... females chasing athletes, then extracting sperm from a used condom using a turkey baster and you can figure out the next step to entrap them with 18 years of rich persons child support.

Assuming that exchange is real, USA court system probably would have given her $100k per MONTH child support plus expenses for top 1% schooling and shit. Maybe even more, Ant on a max contract plus endorsements ...
 
Stories from back in the day ... females chasing athletes, then extracting sperm from a used condom using a turkey baster and you can figure out the next step to entrap them with 18 years of rich persons child support.

Assuming that exchange is real, USA court system probably would have given her $100k per MONTH child support plus expenses for top 1% schooling and s**t. Maybe even more, Ant on a max contract plus endorsements ...
Drake and Chilli sauce
 
Control your boner Ant-Man

Got zero sympathy for players (or men in general) like him who rush into bed with a beautiful and most likely total strange woman he just met and had a one night stand.

Haven't we learnt anything from Tristan Thompson and his horny sexcapdes? (How many kids from different mothers does he have, 7 or 8 isn't it ? FML)
 
Control your boner Ant-Man

Got zero sympathy for players (or men in general) like him who rush into bed with a beautiful and most likely total strange woman he just met and had a one night stand.

Haven't we learnt anything from Tristan Thompson and his horny sexcapdes? (How many kids from different mothers does he have, 7 or 8 isn't it ? FML)
TBH I don't think any of this is the problem, it's being irresponsible in the way he does it and then, well, being a bit of a campaigner.
 

Really lousy news.

* cancer.

Rest in Power Big Man
 


Pretty insidious behaviour to try pressure her into getting an abortion.

Hope this scandal doesn't detail the Wolves best season in franchise history (at this point of the season anyway)

Soft statement. Disappointing.
 
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