Event Mobb Medal Awards Night - TONIGHT!!!

[Gus]

lol at Gus

lol with Gus.

Not at Gus.

 

[Reardo]

Hmmm, Roys table right next to the bar. Nice.

 

[footy fumbler]

Hmmm, Roys table right next to the bar. Nice.

Bitch you swapped the Dragans name and put us near the toilets.

 

[peterss]

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to tonight’s coverage of the Sweet FA’s Mobbenfuhrer Medal, for those of you that don’t know what the Mobbenfuhrer is the easiest way to explain it is that the Brownlow medal is the Mobbenfuhrer’s poorer east Indian cousin. The bonus for the Mobbenfuhrer medal is that the votes for the players are not subject to the umpire’s opinion; instead we rely on the simulator to give us the best three players on the ground of each game in the 14 round season. This is in my opinion an infinitely fairer method as the stats from each game are used to determine the best, not the gut feeling of some little maggot that couldn’t make it as a player so he takes it out on athletes ten times the person he will ever be.

But enough of that let’s move onto the evening, now for those of you that haven’t had the privilege of reading one of my threads before you should know that they cross between 3rd and 1st person and can at times be quite confusing to read. To put it bluntly; too bad. I haven’t changed my style in the 5 years on this website and I’m not doing it now. Other than that enjoy the next three hundred pages of this thread, except of course for Peterss who is the poor bastard that is actually posting this for me and is no doubt already sick of the verbal crap spewing from my mouth. So obviously you’re all excited for the count but before we head into the heart of the crown casino for the nights festivities we’re going to head outside for the red carpet arrival of some of our guests who will be speaking to SFA’s number one reporter Joe Blogs.

 

[Frothies Mcveigh]

Where art thou peterss

EDIT: There art thou peterss

 

[peterss]

First cab of the ranks is Roy’s player Fat Pizza:
JB: “Now FP welcome to the count and do you believe you are a chance?”
FP: “What count?”
JB: “The Mobbenfuhrer medal count”
FP: “Whats that?”
JB: *laughs nervously* “You know the award for the best player as judged by the sim in the SFA”
FP: “Never heard of it”
JB: *Looking around trying to get out* “Uh... so why are you here?”
FP: “Black jack, I saw the red carpet and assumed the pricks here at the crown had finally given me the entrance I deserved.”
JB: “So you think you might hang around?”
FP: “Free piss?”
JB: “Ah alcohol is complimentary”
FP sprints down the red carpet and is next seen heading to the bar...

 

[peterss]

Next player down the red carpet is Southern Dragons captain Ljp86
JB: “Ah LJ as a two time award winner you’ll no doubt be quietly confident heading into the evening”
LJ: “Not really Joe, I’ve again had a quality season carrying my teammates down at the Dragon Island but since we didn’t make finals I don’t like my chances.”
JB: “You carried your teammates?”
LJ: “Let’s be honest JB if I had quality blokes around me with even half my talent then the premiership cup would never move from the Island.”
JB: “Interesting call LJ be interested to see how your teammates react.”
LJ: “Who cares? With the way Axel recruits this time next week I’ll have an entire new squad around me.”
JB: “So pre-season training has already begun for the Dragons?”
LJ: “Pre-season? I’m so good I don’t need pre-season.”

 

[peterss]

As LJ turns and heads down the red carpet with Swedish triplets on his arm JB turns his attention to a rather surprising guest of the Mobbenfuhrer medal, ex-Wonders player Pacemaker.
JB: “Pacey, rather surprised to see you here tonight”
P: “Yes well Joe I’m here as a guest of the administrator, apparently Boncer has organised a table for me and other ex-superstars of the SFA.”
JB: “Ahh Pacey according to our guest list you are sitting with Jack_Riewoldt_Rulz tonight.”
Pacey: “As I said superstars”
JB: “Um yes.... of course now Pacey....”
*JB’s next question trails off as he and the entire red carpet turn to watch Fat Pizza be thrown out of the casino by security completely naked*
Pacey: “Hey! I’m over here”
JB *distracted by Fat Pizza’s attempts to oil himself up in order to slip past the guards*: “Yes we know Pacey but seriously nobody cares”
Pacey: “I’m the greatest ever”
JB: “The main thing is you think that”
*Pacey storms away, FP is now making a deal with the guards it appears if he no longer drinks they’ll let him stay for the count*

 

[peterss]

The next player down the carpet is Furies player TigerGlory
JB: “Welcome TG, consider yourself a chance tonight?”
TG: “Certainly, now that I’m rid of the disease that was the Demons I think I have a real shot”
JB: “The Demons were your disease?”
TG: “Absolutely, they were holding me back.”
JB: “Not to question your thoughts TG but since you left the Demons actually made the finals for the first time ever and the team you joined, the Furies, went from reigning premiers to wooden spooners.”
TG: “Irrelevant, I helped the Furies win the pre-season premiership and that is all that matters”
JB: “Of course TG how silly of me, thank you for your time”

 

[peterss]

*As TG heads down the carpet and inside JB turns his attention to his final interview on the carpet and we’ve saved the best for last, it is the man who the award is named after, Mobbenfuhrer himself*
JB: “So Mobbenfuhrer no doubt this night holds particular significance for you?”
Mobb: “Actually I prefer Sir Mobbenfuhrer”
JB: “My apologies Sir Mobb I wasn’t aware you had been knighted”
Sir Mobb: “I haven’t been but let’s face it I’m the closest thing this comp has to royalty”
JB: “You certainly are Sir Mobb, now do you think this is the year you’ll finally win the award?”
Sir Mobb: “Absolutely, the “changes” to the sim that I said were designed to prevent midfielders dominating were actually a bug that named me BOG in all the matches”
JB: “Uh.... so.... does this mean you’re spoiling the result?”
Sir Mobb: “Wait and see JB, but for those of you who don’t want to read all this bullshit that Boncer has put together the answer is yes, I win.”
*Before JB can say anything Fat Pizza is back outside, this time he runs up to Sir Mobb and starts poking him in the side of the face*
FP: “PRESSURE POINT, PRESSURE POINT.”
*Sir Mobb tries to shake it off with a laugh and attempts to calm FP down*
FP: “PRESSURE POINT, PRESSURE POINT”
Sir Mobb: “Listen here you mother ****er if you don’t stop touching me I will take that microphone and shove it so far up your ass you will be able to talk through it for the rest of the night”
*FP stops in shock*
*Reardo and Roylion casually saunter over*
Roy: “Glad to see your back Mobb”
Sir Mobb: “Sir Mobb”
Rea: “Not bloody likely, you left us during the year so your no bloody Sir”
Mobb: “Fair call”
Roy: “So Mobb lets go inside and party we’ve got a rule for our table”
FP: “Yeah for every vote you get you have to skull a pint”
Mobb: “Sounds good”
*The four Roy players turn and head down the carpet*
JB: “That’s all for the SFA red carpet lets head inside to begin the count”

Beginning of the count to begin shortly...

 

[Reardo]

Stand and applaud Mobbs you *****, he's a ****ing God!!*

*No homo

 

[Frothies Mcveigh]

Haha quality peterss

 

[Gus]

excellent write up Peterss.

 

[Big Bad Buddy]

Defiantly a good read so far!

 

[peterss]

Haha quality peterss

Cheers....Id like the credit for it but its just copy and pasted from a word document that bonce sent me


The start of the awards to begin very, shortly.....Yes im dragging it out just like a normal awards night is

 

[peterss]

*As a camera pans the broom closest of the casino it is clear to see excitement is high in the building, everyone is clearly waiting for Boncer to take the stage*
*As a dramatic drum roll begins a spotlight shines on the left hand side of the stage and Boncer steps into it heading towards the middle of the stage to stand behind a podium*
*Boncer stands smiling at the podium and pauses before speaking waiting for the thunderous applause to stop, it is clear that this is the moment, the moment that everyone has been waiting for. The arrival of the reigning Mobbenfuhrer meddalist.*
*Boncer goes to speak but he is interrupted by another round of thunderous applause, as the camera pans the room it shows every member of the SFA standing and cheering for their fearless leader. Even Boncer’s long time foes Okeydokey and co, have grudgingly climbed to their feet to acknowledge the great man with a standing ovation.”
*Eventually the applause dies down and Boncer is able to speak*
B: “Welcome to our night of nights my friends, it has been my absolute pleasure to be the administrator of this fine competition during the past season and it has, in my opinion, been a season of change.” “Take for example one of the teams in the Grand Final this weekend, the West Coast Wonders, this time last season you could make a strong argument that their three biggest names were Pacemaker, Kerrby and Rick18.” “Well now Pacemaker is lost to the SFA” *Boncer is forced to pause due to a large cheer from the SFA crowd, Pacemaker is seen putting his tear stained face into his hands* “Kerrby has joined the Hawks and Rick is no more than a part time wannabe tough guy as opposed to the full time captain/wannabe Boncer that he was last year.” “But that is not the only change; Tim_saints and others have left, Okey and others have left and returned and finally we have seen a lot of fresh faces with a large numbers coming from Bay 13.” “All in all the SFA is largely different to what it was during the last Mobb medal count and I personally think it shows that despite large changes the SFA can endure these changes and still come through the other side strong.”

 

[Frothies Mcveigh]

Oh, well quality copying and pasting peterss

 

[footy fumbler]

good interviews Peterss, it's all happening how did Channel 9 not cover this?

Stand and applaud Mobbs you *****, he's a ****ing God!!*

*No homo

I always do when he enters.

 

[peterss]

“But enough of my crap for the time being, let’s move onto the reason why we are all here which is the Mobb Medal and let’s begin the night with Round 1:
Round 1

 BOMBERS           0    2        1    6        6    12       8    16   64       
HAWKS             7    5        11   8        12   9        15   11   101

The first game of the season saw the Hawks make the long trip across the sea to Abdu Prison to face the Bombers. The Hawks off-season had seen them continue their trend of only recruiting people that were already established in the league and as such former Wonders captain Kerrby was the only recruit added to the squad. The Bombers however had faced a shocking off-season with talks of them folding continually circling the prison, never the less they were given an extra week to recruit and as such managed to find enough posters to field a relatively new side. As a result the Bombers were hoping that a win would be on the cards to help shake the doubts anyone had about them. However the Hawks had other ideas and by quarter time the Bombers were down by 45 points and when the lead had stretched to 65 points by half time the Hawks shut up shop in the second half allowing the Bombers to win the second half and add some respectability to the scoreboard but the Hawks still won by 37 points. Tarkyn with 5 goals, Reggie with 4 and Biggie with 28 touches were the Hawks best but despite the one sided game not a single Hawks player managed to poll a vote with the following Bombers players getting the nod:
Votes

3. Bomber Bears (BOM) 33 disposals
2. HawkPatrol (BOM) 32 disposals and a goal
1. breeno (BOM)  30 touches and 5 behinds

 DRAGONS           3    1        5    3        7    5        9    8    62       
WONDERS           3    1        6    7        10   9        15   10   100

Dragons recruiting manager Axel. had been very busy during the off-season and Dragons fans were anxious to see how their new recruits would perform in their first home game of the season. LJ whilst captaining multiple SOO titles has never competed in the big dance of the season as a captain and many punters were predicting that this would be his year. The wonders however had undergone serious changes since their season ended, Rick18 had stepped down as captain paving the way for Croweater to step up and fill his shoes and also allowing Pacemaker to step up as VC. This vice captain appointment however angered former captain Kerrby and he left the club heading to the Hawks. A tight first half had the visitors in front by 10 points at half time and after the mid-game break the visitors broke free running out 38 point winners. Half-back-flank kicked 3 goals for the Dragons whilst Croweater kicked 4.4 for the Wonders. The votes however were determined by the sim as:
Votes

3.ClarkeM (WON) 30 disposals and a goal
2. Fuji Rock (WON) 28 touches and 3 behinds
1. Pacemaker (WON ) 22 touches

 FURIES            6    6        9    8        11   12       15   13   103      
THEROYS           1    1        6    2        9    5        12   9    81

The furies proudly unfurled their premiership flag in round 1 against the Roys, the Furies had also enjoyed a strong pre-season campaign winning the title comfortably and were expected to easily account for the Roys in round 1, the focus for the Furies was on their star recruit Tiger Glory and to see how he would play. The Roys on the other hand were again coming under fire for their poor on-field performances, despite their strong off-field presence their on-field performance had been described as nothing short of pathetic. However an upset was not to occur with the Furies racing to a 35 point lead at quarter time, the Roys fought valiantly for the rest of the game and ended up going down by 22 points to the reigning premiers. Roylion kicked 5.1 for the losers whilst rfctigerarmy kicked 3.6 for the victors. The best 3 players were:
Votes

3. Bend It Like Cotchin (FUR) 33 disposals and 2 goals
2.ItsMyShow (THE) 31 disposals
1. hougie (FUR) 26 disposals

GUMBIES           0    3        3    8        8    9        13   10   88       
DEMONS            3    4        6    4        10   7        13   11   89

The final game of the round saw the Gumbies host the Demons in their round 1 match. The Gumbies had been fairly quiet in the off-season, whilst the SFA is all about the noise a club can make the Gumbies took the tack of steering clear of controversy in the pre-season with Peterss calmly steering the club to their first round clash with no real fanfare. The Demons were similar in their approach except several things were different about their pre-season, the first being the loss of their former captain TigerGlory to the Furies and they also failed to defend their pre-season title. Something that they hoped would actually be better for them then winning the cup. After a disappointing first quarter, where they failed to score a major, The Gumbies stepped it up for the final 3 quarters ensuring the game would be a tight tough affair with the Demons claiming a one point thriller. JSelwood kicked 4.1 for the losers whilst Cats2Rise kicked 6.4 for the winners. The vote getters were as follows:
Votes

3. lions_den (GUM) 22 disposals and 3 goals 
2. StFly (GUM) 26 disposals and 1 goal
1. Dylz48 (DEM) 22 disposals

Round 1 leader board

3. Lions_den (Gumbies), Bend_It_Like_Cotchin (Furies), ClarkeM (Wonders), Bomber Bears (Bombers)
2. StFly (Gumbies), ItsMyShow (Roys), Fuji Rocks (Wonders), HawkPatrol (Bombers)
1. Dylz48 (Demons), Hougie (Furies), Pacemaker (Wonders), Breeno (Bombers)

 

[peterss]

Oh, well quality copying and pasting peterss

Cheers



Heres the first order of Booze at the Gumbies table...

 

[peterss]

Round 2

 DRAGONS           2    1        3    1        6    3        7    7    49       
FURIES            1    0        4    4        5    5        7    7    49

The start of round 2 saw the Dragons host the Furies, the reigning premiers went into this one as red hot favourites due to their comfortable first round win and the Dragons poor showing in the first week. Things were going as expected at half time with the Furies in front but an impassioned plea from Ljp86 saw the dragons breathe fire in the 3rd and had them in front at the last change. A thrilling last quarter saw the lead see-saw but when the dust settled scores were level. The best players were:
Votes

3.HBK619 (FUR) 25 disposals and a goal
2.Ljp86 (DRA) 15 disposals and a goal
1. Bend It Like Cotchin (FUR) 23 disposals and a goal

HAWKS             5    4        7    9        10   10       16   13   109      
GUMBIES           6    2        7    6        8    10       13   13   91

After suffering a thrilling loss the week before the Gumbies were determined to make up for it against the Hawks in their round 2 clash and they jumped out of the blocks early holding a slim lead at quarter time. However after that the Hawks seemingly had all the answers and despite a strong Gumbies showing the Hawks ran out 18 point victors. Tarkyn_24 kicked 5.5 for the winners whilst Winty kicked 6.4 for the losers. The votes went to the following players
Votes

 3.Biggie 36 disposals (HAW)
2. Boncer34 31 disposals (HAW)
1. Perth Swans (GUM)25 disposals

THEROYS           2    4        6    9        8    12       9    13   67       
BOMBERS           0    1        2    4        9    7        13   15   93

The Roys hosted the Bombers in what was already being tipped as a battle for the wooden spoon with the Roys being given the slight edge due to being the home team and at half time it looked like they had the match wrapped up. Leading by 29 points and keeping their opponents to only 16 for the first half the Roys were cruising. However a 7 goal 3rd quarter saw the Bombers storm to the lead heading into the final term and they ended up running out 26 point winners. The vote getters were
Votes

3. JakeThePeg  20 disposals and 1 goal(THE)
2. HawkPatrol (BOM) 22 disposals
1. Kahuna (BOM) 29 disposals

 WONDERS           4    3        6    5        10   7        14   11   95       
DEMONS            2    3        8    5        14   12       24   18   162

A close encounter was expected in the West when the Wonders hosted the Demons in the final game of round 2 and at half time it appeared another Demons thriller was on the cards. The Wonders had held and early lead before the Demons wrestled the lead to take a slim 2 goal margin at the long break. However the Wonders quite simply failed to appear in the second half as the Demons ran riot kicking 16 goals, winning by 67 points and registering the highest total for the season. Storm20 was valiant for the Wonders up front kicking 3 whilst GoCattas kicked 4 for the victors. The vote winners were
Votes

3. ClarkeM (WON) 37 disposals
2. Fuji Rock (WON) 30 disposals and 2 goals
1. Dylz48 (DEM) 33 disposals and 3 goals

Round 2 leader board

6. ClarkeM (Wonders)
4. Fuji Rocks (Wonders) ,  HawkPatrol (Bombers) , Bend_It_Like_Cotchin (Furies)
3. Lions_den (Gumbies), Bomber Bears (Bombers), JakeThePeg (Roys), Biggie (Hawks), HBK619 (Furies)
2. StFly (Gumbies), ItsMyShow (Roys), Dylz48 (Demons), Ljp86 (Dragons), Boncer34 (Hawks)
1. Hougie (Furies), Pacemaker (Wonders), Breeno (Bombers), Kahuna (Bombers), Perth Swans (Gumbies)

*A small murmur goes around the room as one of the pre-count favourites ClarkeM starts in the best possible way whilst former medallists Boncer34 and Ljp86 both get on the board*

 

[peterss]

Round 3

 GUMBIES           3    2        6    5        8    8        10   10   70       
THEROYS           3    4        3    6        5    8        8    10   58

The first game of Round 3 saw two teams clash that both had something to prove. The Gumbies were determined to make up for the previous week’s loss whilst the Roys were desperate to get their first win of the season. In a game that can be at best described as ordinary the Gumbies lead by 17 points at the main break and ran out 12 point winners. Winty kicked 3 for the Gumbies while Roylion was inaccurate for the Roys kicking 2.4, vote getters were
Votes

3.  RoJo Junior (GUM) 33 disposals
krisholio14 (GUM) 29 disposals
Perth Swans (GUM) 24 disposals

*As he looks to read the next game Boncer is forced to duck as a hail of empty pint glasses are thrown at him by the completely drunk Roys players for describing their game as ordinary*

 FURIES            3    0        5    3        9    5        12   7    79       
WONDERS           4    6        10   11       15   13       18   15   123

When the Furies hosted the Wonders all they were concerned with was continuing their solid start to the year and also maintaining their incredible undefeated streak which stretched back into the home and away rounds of the previous season. The Wonders however were desperate for a better showing after their poor second half the week before and they certainly delivered smashing the Furies all over the park and inflicting the Furies first loss in a long time winning by 44 points. Croweater lead from the front kicking 5 whilst rfctigerarmy kicked 4 for the Furies. Vote getters were
Votes

 3. hougie (FUR) 27 touches and one goal
2. Aidancdaman (WON) 26 touches
1. Pacemaker (WON) 27 touches

 DEMONS            3    4        7    7        10   11       14   12   96       
HAWKS             5    2        10   2        16   3        20   7    127

The undefeated Demons were full of confidence on the back of their belting of the Wonders when they hosted the other undefeated team, The Hawks, in a early season blockbuster. However the Hawks ruined any chances of a tight contest leading from start to finish and eventually cruising to a 31 point win inflicting the Demons first loss for the season. Vote getters were
Votes

3. Boncer34 (HAW) 32 disposals and a goal
2. Hawks1523 (HAW) 30 disposals and 3 goals
1. Joe King (DEM) 22 disposals and 1 goal

 BOMBERS           3    3        7    5        9    5        10   5    65       
DRAGONS           4    2        6    3        11   4        16   15   111

Few gave the Bombers any chance of winning when they hosted the Dragons in their Round 3 clash despite the fact that the Dragons were yet to win a game and the Bombers were on the board courtesy of their previous round win over the Roys. So it was a pleasant surprise for Bombers fans when they led at half time however a strong second half from the Dragons proved too much for the boys from Baghdad and the boys from the Island ran out 46 point winners. StantonLegend kicked 4 for the winners, votes went to
Votes

3.  Ljp86 (DRA) 29 disposals
2. RoaringUniLions (DRA) 26 disposals and 2 goals
1. Amazing Bombers (BOM) 25 disposals

Round 3 leader board

6. ClarkeM (Wonders)
5. Ljp86 (Dragons), Boncer34 (Hawks)
4. Hougie (Furies), Fuji Rocks (Wonders) ,  HawkPatrol (Bombers) , Bend_It_Like_Cotchin (Furies)
3. Lions_den (Gumbies), Bomber Bears (Bombers), JakeThePeg (Roys), Biggie (Hawks), HBK619 (Furies), Rojo Junior (Gumbies)
2. StFly (Gumbies), ItsMyShow (Roys), Dylz48 (Demons), RoaringUniLions(Dragons), Hawks1523(Hawks), Pacemaker (Wonders), Perth Swans (Gumbies), Aidancdama (Wonders), Krisholio14 (Gumbies)
 1. Breeno (Bombers), Kahuna (Bombers), Amazing Bombers (Bombers), Joe King(Demons)

***There will be a short break for a toilet and shagging break or whatever else it is players want to do....But be quick as it wont be long till round 4 ***

 

[Frothies Mcveigh]

Woot ClarkeM

 

[StFly]

You would not believe how hard it is to find a park for a tank these days, so apologies to whoever came in the horse and carriage, however I do have some fine cuts of meat to make it up to you with.

 

[Reardo]

I think Freakies date was just drinking out of the mens urinal.