Vicky Park's 2016 Collingwood Hair Do Review

[left at home]

Agree 76, something to work with there. Although a second tier do. Defs not a starring role.

got your work cut out with mayne, that hair just crazy

 

[PicaBoo]

And he is back. And how.
The right priorities, strong focus on follicular presentation.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

And he is back. And how. The right priorities, strong focus on follicular presentation.

Ahhh, Lachie's done the old Emperor Nero brush forward to disguise impending baldness.

(am I being paranoid or is that a giant crack pipe in the corner of the room?)

 

[Magpie Girl]

Ahhh, Lachie's done the old Emperor Nero brush forward to disguise impending baldness.

(am I being paranoid or is that a giant crack pipe in the corner of the room?)

I think it's a broom
He's doing a clean sweep

 

[PicaBoo]

Ahhh, Lachie's done the old Emperor Nero brush forward to disguise impending baldness.

(am I being paranoid or is that a giant crack pipe in the corner of the room?)

That is his old mob.

 

[Quicky]

I reckon Brromhead has the best do' at the Pies.

 

[Gymnorhina tibic]

Hi Vicky, can you give me some advice, every time I go to the barber and he asks me what I want I say "number 2 on the side and short on the top please" What I really want is a haircut that makes me look like I am the coolest man in the room-how do I tell my barber this?

 

[Vicky Park]

And he is back. And how.
The right priorities, strong focus on follicular presentation.

I suppose that's not a bad way to restart a career. At the very least he's thinking of his appearance.

 

[Vicky Park]

Hi Vicky, can you give me some advice, every time I go to the barber and he asks me what I want I say "number 2 on the side and short on the top please" What I really want is a haircut that makes me look like I am the coolest man in the room-how do I tell my barber this?

Why are blokes shy about asking for a decent haircut? Is it cost? Is it fear of looking a bit hipsterish, or worse, metrosexual (is that still a word?). I despair.

I recommend you do what we women do. Cut a picture out of a magazine and take it with you, and tell the barber you want to look like that. Can I suggest you start with George Clooney and if neccessary work backwards from there?

 

[Gymnorhina tibic]

Why are blokes shy about asking for a decent haircut? Is it cost? Is it fear of looking a bit hipsterish, or worse, metrosexual (is that still a word?). I despair.

I recommend you do what we women do. Cut a picture out of a magazine and take it with you, and tell the barber you want to look like that. Can I suggest you start with George Clooney and if neccessary work backwards from there?

Thanks, good advice I will bring a photo of Dave Warner next haircut

 

[Vicky Park]

Thanks, good advice I will bring a photo of Dave Warner next haircut

Not my first choice, but I guess you have to start somewhere.

 

[mike123]

Hopefully Wells takes Varcoe and Kirby under his wing in this regard.

 

[Vicky Park]

I reckon Brromhead has the best do' at the Pies.

He's gone all wild and unkempt. Hope it flows thru to his footy.

 

[Mooresome]

Easy way is shave head and wear hat in sun , ends all hair problems

 

[Mooresome]

Oh on second thoughts this would be bad because then VP would not be needed for the expert opinions on style
so put the razor away and go man bun when its annoying and long.

 

[JB1975]

Why are blokes shy about asking for a decent haircut? Is it cost? Is it fear of looking a bit hipsterish, or worse, metrosexual (is that still a word?). I despair.

I have a wild swirl of salt and pepper hair, maybe more steel wool than hair I suppose. I'm not afraid of telling the hairdresser that I want to look like George Clooney. I pay my hard-earned $30. That they fail to deliver on my request, that the result is usually more deranged than distinguished, is a source of perpetual disappointment.

 

[THATSGOLD]

And he is back. And how.
The right priorities, strong focus on follicular presentation.

Ugh. I dislike him so much. Looks shocking.

 

[PicaBoo]

Ugh. I dislike him so much. Looks shocking.

Looks very imperial to me. Ready to reign supreme over back -and hairlines alike.

 

[Vicky Park]

That they fail to deliver on my request, that the result is usually more deranged than distinguished, is a source of perpetual disappointment

Try a change of hairdresser. There's got to be one out there, somewhere, who can deliver.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Try a change of hairdresser. There's got to be one out there, somewhere, who can deliver.

Should always apply the 2 strikes rule to haircutters JB1975: don't stay loyal to someone who is butchering your hat.

F%ck*ng love my haircutter - would marry the guy if I batted for his team. We've been together 10 years and are going strong.

 

[76woodenspooners]

Hi Vicky, can you give me some advice, every time I go to the barber and he asks me what I want I say "number 2 on the side and short on the top please" What I really want is a haircut that makes me look like I am the coolest man in the room-how do I tell my barber this?

IMO Men and and women have very different experiences at the hairdresser (I spent much of my formative years bored out of my brain hanging out at my mother's hairdressing salon)

Women can happily go to the hairdresser's looking like Sinead O'Conner, show the hairdresser a pic of Miranda Kerr and say "I wanna look like that", then spend the next 6 hours being tortured whilst being told "Darling you're going to look gorgeous!!" They catch up on the latest bitching of who's banging whom in Hollywood, drop $425, and then leave looking like Sinead O'Conner and feeling gorgeous.

The key is this: The mission of a women's hairdresser IS NOT about about cutting their client's hair. It IS NOT about making their client look good. It IS entirely about making their client FEEL good about how they look. A skilled women's hairdresser is first and foremost a psychologist. The 'doing stuff to hair' thing is secondary and merely a means to an end. It really doesn't matter if a woman comes out of the hairdresser with a pink birdsnest on her head, what matters is that she feels like a super model in that pink birdsnest. The reason why women's haircuts are so expensive is the same reason why women's perfume is so expensive.

Men are different. Men are very different. Men don't expect to be talked to while they're getting their hair cut - at most maybe exchanging a few idle pleasantries. That doesn't work for a cutter of women's hair. How can they possibly ply their trade of being a psychologist if their client just wants them to STFU and cut their hair?

My advice would be this ...

Firstly, stay away from unisex hairdressing salons. It might seem like a joyous experience to have the apprentice rub her boobs in your face while massaging eucalyptus oil into your scalp, but it really is short term gratification that you'll regret when you leave the salon with a pink birdsnest on your head.

Stick to barber shops. Try many different ones, particularly ones out in the burbs that can't survive unless they're good. Keep an open mind about funky hipster joints, but understand that that at best you'll be paying extra for something you don't value. Stay away from cheap churn 'em out places at shopping centres. Ask the barber for their advice for what they should do, and if they can't handle that then leave. If the barber uses scissors, that's a good thing. It means that they're taking care.

Have a look at the people in the barber shop, do they look like you? If you're a 19 year old Asian with thick black hair, and the shop is filled with aging caucasians, then maybe the barber might not to be used to cutting your kind of hair.

When you do find a barber you like then stick to them, and tip them generously. You'll still be paying much less than you would at a fancy unisex salon.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

...It really doesn't matter if a woman comes out of the hairdresser with a pink birdsnest on her head, what matters is that she feels like a super model in that pink birdsnest.

I am more superficial than you 76.

Nowhere in my wedding vows was it stated that pink birdsnest is suitable for wifely presentation.

 

[76woodenspooners]

I am more superficial than you 76.

Nowhere in my wedding vows was it stated that pink birdsnest is suitable for wifely presentation.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, somebody failed to read the fineprint

Nowhere in your wedding vows did it say that you are entitled to your own opinion about your wife's presentation.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

...(I spent much of my formative years bored out of my brain hanging out at my mother's hairdressing salon)

My mother was also a hairdresser - she ran a salon from our house.

Looked pretty easy so I volunteered to cut my mate's hair when we were in year eleven. Tricky exercise when you have no skills.

 

[76woodenspooners]

My mother was also a hairdresser - she ran a salon from our house.

Looked pretty easy so I volunteered to cut my mate's hair when we were in year eleven. Tricky exercise when you have no skills.

That moment when you realise that a BigFooty poster must be your own sister