Certified Legendary Thread The Cut

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Topkent

Premium Platinum
Aug 29, 2010
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Been a fair bit of talk of delistings so time to bump this thread then

Thinking about it tonight I feel theres no point keeping Dawes, Dunn, Garland, Grimes on the list
We have already picked a youthful team and we are playing better than we ever did with these guys, so they should be moved on at all costs so they arent clogging up the list

Michies times up, Newton and Trenners should get the benefit of 1 more year to prove themself
Id delist JKH myself but could understand if they kept him
Lumumba one more season aswell as I still crazily think he has something to offer when we move the footy like we did against the Hawks
 

A11dAtP0w3R

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Oct 18, 2013
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00Stinger

Duel Group 1 winner
May 8, 2007
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Liverpool & San Francisco 49ers
CLOSING SCENE

GRIMES
Oh, I, I can't stand it any longer. This whole team is insane. Insane, I tell you! Daahh! Aaah!
Grimes runs off the training track, and into the coaches room.
GRIMES
I can be lazy too!
Grimes takes his footy jumper off, and moons one of the assistant coaches.
GRIMES
Hi, look at me, I am a worthless player, just like Matthew Bate! Give me a contract extension!
Grimes walks into the weights room, and grabs two 1kg dumbells.
GRIMES
Ooh, I lift weights like a girl, but nobody minds, because I'm Lucas Cook!
Grimes quickly pumps out 2 reps, then heads to the bathroom.
GRIMES
(off screen) I'm using the girls toilets, just like Cale Morton. Give me a new contract!
Grimes emerges from the bathroom and waves his hands in Morton's face.
GRIMES
Now I'm returning to training without having a shave. But it doesn't matter, because I'm Lynden Dunn!
Grimes runs to Bennell's locker and spins around in the chair.
GRIMES
I don't need to get a kick, 'cause someone else will do it for me. (slaps himself on the forehead) D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
BENNELL
Hey, you okay, Grimey?
GRIMES
I'm better than okay, I'm Jamie Bennell.
BENNELL
(chuckles) You wish.
Mark Neeld walks in.
GRIMES
Oh, hi, Neeldy. I'm the worst football player in the world. Time to go home to my mansion, because I'm Aaron Davey!
He sees a dangerous-looking ball flying towards a pack of players on the ground.
GRIMES
What's this? (reads sign) "Beware of backing into packs"? Well, I don't need excuse not to do this, because I'm Luke Taps--
Grimes backs into pack and is polaxed. The scene cuts to the Melbourne Football Club website - it is the injury list. It reads Grimes out Indefinately.
Not quite how I predicted it would end for Ol' Grimey
 

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Sellout Scully

Club Legend
Jun 7, 2012
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New Melbourne coach Simon Goodwin wanders into the trade market looking for some talent but encounters a mysterious Essendon dealer.


Frogurt.png



Goodwin: Do you sell players?
Dodoro: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to trade. We also sell Jakey Melkshakes. Which I call Jelkshakes.
Goodwin: Well I need something for my future premiership team...
Dodoro: Perhaps this will please them....

Dodoro moves his hand along a shelf, passing over several unusual objects including an abandoned thumb with blonde straw on it, to a disheveled looking Michael Hibberd

Dodoro: Take this player. But beware it comes with terrible history of dopping
Goodwin: Ooo...that's bad
Dodoro: But it comes with a free Jelkshake
Goodwin: Oo that's good
Dodoro: The Jelkshake is also doped
Goodwin: That's bad
Dodoro: But you get your choice of assistants to go with them
Goodwin: That's good
Dodoro: The assistants include Troy Chaplin
Goodwin: .... (stares blankly)
Dodoro: That's bad.
 

00Stinger

Duel Group 1 winner
May 8, 2007
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Neither of these are actually mine


Al Clarkson: Hey Ty! Hey Jaeger! Come on in. There's plenty of room. Sorry, not you, Sam.
Sam Mitchell: Why not!?
[Al Clarkson points to sign, "No Mitchells Club"]
Sam Mitchell: But you let in Tom Mitchell!
Tom Mitchell: [pops head out window] Hyuck hyuck!
Al Clarkson: It says no Mitchells. We're allowed to have one.
Sam Mitchell: Ohhhhhhhh!





Adam Simpson: How could you trade Sam Mitchell? He's the heart and soul of the club?
Clarkson: Come on Adam, clubs don't have souls. It's something Marketing gurus made up to attract members.
Simpson: But the AFL says every club has a soul. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain?

[Cut to Gillon McLachlan counting money]
McLachlan: I don't hear trading

Clarkson: How can you be so stupid? Listen, Hawthorn doesn't have a soul. West Coast doesn't have a soul. There's no such thing as a soul.
Simpson: Fine. If you're so sure about that why don't you trade Sam Mitchell to me?
Clarkson: What you got?
Simpson: Pick 33
Clarkson: Deal.
Simpson: Pleasure doing business with you.
Clarkson: Anytime, Chump

 

LeverPuller

BigFooty Tanker
Jun 23, 2011
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Q49, Olympic Stand
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Al Clarkson: Hey Ty! Hey Jaeger! Come on in. There's plenty of room. Sorry, not you, Sam.
Sam Mitchell: Why not!?
[Al Clarkson points to sign, "No Mitchells Club"]
Sam Mitchell: But you let in Tom Mitchell!
Tom Mitchell: [pops head out window] Hyuck hyuck!
Al Clarkson: It says no Mitchells. We're allowed to have one.
Sam Mitchell: Ohhhhhhhh!





Adam Simpson: How could you trade Sam Mitchell? He's the heart and soul of the club?
Clarkson: Come on Adam, clubs don't have souls. It's something Marketing gurus made up to attract members.
Simpson: But the AFL says every club has a soul. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain?

[Cut to Gillon McLachlan counting money]
McLachlan: I don't hear trading

Clarkson: How can you be so stupid? Listen, Hawthorn doesn't have a soul. West Coast doesn't have a soul. There's no such thing as a soul.
Simpson: Fine. If you're so sure about that why don't you trade Sam Mitchell to me?
Clarkson: What you got?
Simpson: Pick 33
Clarkson: Deal.
Simpson: Pleasure doing business with you.
Clarkson: Anytime, Chump

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