What are some of the best commentary one-liners in footy?

[BigVic]

"Oh Jesaulenko, you beauty", "I see it but I don't believe it" and "Leo Barry

Leo Barry

Age

46

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184cm

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89kg

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Def

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12.8

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5.6

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1.6

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you star" are some of the most popular commentary one-liners in footy.

Also "Serong, seright" and "Thirteen, Thirteen" and "He came up behind him like a librarian" are some classics. Another one is "Like a cork in the ocean"

What are yours?

 

[Drought Break]

1990 GF. And that effort from Izzard was pathetic

 

[Defabs]

"Oh Jesaulenko, you beauty", "I see it but I don't believe it" and "Leo Barry you star" are some of the most popular commentary one-liners in footy.

Also "Serong, seright" and "Thirteen, Thirteen" and "He came up behind him like a librarian" are some classics. Another one is "Like a cork in the ocean"

What are yours?

“Collingwood..what have they unleashed here”
“Ohhh he’s getting better….he’s getting bigger and better.”
“Can he do it again…you betcha.”
“Oh he’s done it again”
“Great tackle by you know who….the big guy”

All from the same game and from the same commentator in reference to the sane player. Gold!

Rewatch the highlights and you’ll agree these quotes win by the Flemington straight!

 

[sobrave]

"FROM THE PAINT" - Dwayne "the maestro" Russell

 

[Partridge]

"Oh Jesaulenko, you beauty", "I see it but I don't believe it" and "Leo Barry you star" are some of the most popular commentary one-liners in footy.

Also "Serong, seright" and "Thirteen, Thirteen" and "He came up behind him like a librarian" are some classics. Another one is "Like a cork in the ocean"

What are yours?

None.

If a commentator is doing their job I don't want to hear pat one-liners. They should blend in, not try to be the stars.

A major reason why all footy commentary absolutely sucks (with the sole exception of Adam Papalia), and why it is the worst it has ever been.

 

[jakson68]

After a freakish goal, Dennis came up with.

"As far as miracles go, that is right up there with Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett"

It still gets me smiling

 

[JackFlash]

Michael Williamson during the St.kilda V Collingwood 1966 Grand Final..."My hand is still shaking"

 

[mr bagcroft]

After a freakish goal, Dennis came up with.

"As far as miracles go, that is right up there with Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett"

It still gets me smiling

We can end the thread on this one from Dennis talking about some dogs player I cant recall;

"goes into the pack optimistically, comes out misty optically".

 

[jakson68]

We can end the thread on this one from Dennis talking about some dogs player I cant recall;

"goes into the pack optimistically, comes out misty optically".

Dennis was one of the best.

Commentators of today, have nothing on past commentators.

 

[I Remember Bluey]

Jack Dyer - "If you don't mind umpire"

 

[MF]

We can end the thread on this one from Dennis talking about some dogs player I cant recall;

"goes into the pack optimistically, comes out misty optically".

Commetti is the GOAT.

 

[Percel]

All Commeti gold (stolen from the net)

Remember the name: Y-Z-E – terrific young player, bad Scrabble hand.

On the work of Bulldogs star Tony Liberatore

Tony Liberatore

Age

58

Ht

163cm

Wt

77kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

20.1

5star

K

10.5

4star

HB

9.6

5star

M

1.5

2star

T

4.3

5star

No current season stats available

D

10.0

3star

K

5.2

2star

HB

4.8

4star

M

1.0

1star

T

0.0

1star

as he burrowed into a pack:

Liberatore went into that last pack optimistically and came out misty optically.

On former Melbourne, Sydney and Collingwood ruckman Darren Jolly

Darren Jolly

Age

42

Ht

200cm

Wt

108kg

Pos.

Ruck

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.4

2star

K

5.2

2star

HB

4.2

3star

CL

2.3

4star

HO

21.0

5star

No current season stats available

D

3.2

1star

K

1.6

1star

HB

1.6

2star

HO

3.2

5star

:

Jolly gets it to Green. Where’s the giant?

On a Carlton champion:

There’s Koutoufides – more vowels than possessions today.

Closely assessing the team list in his Football Record:

Barlow to Bateman...The Hawks are attacking alphabetically.

On the cliches of sport:

So it’s back to the old drawing board. Obviously a luxury that the guy who invented the drawing board didn’t have – Cometti on the struggles of coaches.

On Brisbane midfiedler Simon Black:

He’s like Diogenes or O.J. Simpson – he’s always searching.

On an errant shot at goal by former Richmond star Darren Gasper:

Ahh, Gasper the unfriendly post.

Upon seeing Port Adelaide’s Josh Carr

Josh Carr

Age

43

Ht

179cm

Wt

80kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

17.8

4star

K

10.6

4star

HB

7.2

4star

M

4.0

4star

T

3.3

5star

CL

2.0

4star

No current season stats available

D

12.2

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

5.0

4star

M

2.6

3star

T

0.8

3star

approached by a tackler:

Carr – covered by a third party.

On a collision between Carr’s brother Matthew and former Docker Trent Croad:

Carr was just poleaxed by his own team-mate. Does that qualify as Croad rage?

On the eternal struggles of the tall defender:

Right now Shannon Watt

Shannon Watt

Age

43

Ht

193cm

Wt

95kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.3

2star

K

5.5

2star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.4

3star

T

1.0

3star

No current season stats available

D

2.8

1star

K

1.4

1star

HB

1.4

2star

M

1.0

1star

T

0.6

3star

looks like a man in a darkened room trying to discover where all the furniture is.

On a West Coast Eagles champion:

The way Jakovich is playing today he’s closer to teething than retiring.

On Collingwood’s burly full-forward of the 2000s:

When Anthony Rocca

Anthony Rocca

Age

46

Ht

195cm

Wt

105kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.3

3star

K

8.1

3star

HB

3.2

3star

M

5.2

5star

T

1.5

3star

G

1.9

5star

No current season stats available

D

10.8

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

3.6

3star

M

5.2

5star

T

1.8

4star

G

2.0

5star

backs into a pack, he beeps.

The Dockers’ defence is in disarray. Everybody wants to be Gladys Knight, nobody wants to be the Pips.

On the unfortunate lot of a lumbering Adelaide ruckman:

Shaun Rehn has been terrific again today but look at him, he’s paid a price. Like a Saint Bernard in a heatwave.

On a Brownlow medal-winning former Bulldogs and Bears star:

Hardie decides to have a bounce. Look at him go. Amazing. Not bad for a guy who’s built like a pirate’s lunch table.

On St Kilda’s premiership drought:

The Saints have had more five-year plans than Fidel Castro.

On the one-dimensional kicking skills of Essendon forward Scott Lucas

Scott Lucas

Age

46

Ht

192cm

Wt

98kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.5

4star

K

12.4

5star

HB

3.1

3star

M

6.0

5star

T

1.9

4star

G

1.9

5star

No current season stats available

D

17.2

5star

K

12.4

5star

HB

4.8

4star

M

6.6

5star

T

0.6

3star

G

4.4

5star

:

I think it’s safe to say Lucas takes his right leg out there purely for balance.

On his former colleague Robert DiPierdomenico:

That’s the latest from the huddles. For those of you who don’t know, Dipper is a graduate of the Don Corleone school of elocution.

On a former Adelaide and Geelong livewire’s unpredictable moves:

I swear if Ronnie Burns

Ronnie Burns

Age

51

Ht

183cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.2

3star

K

6.5

3star

HB

4.7

3star

M

2.3

2star

T

1.3

3star

G

1.7

5star

No current season stats available

D

12.8

4star

K

7.8

3star

HB

5.0

4star

M

2.4

3star

T

0.4

3star

G

1.6

5star

were building a house he’d start with the roof.

On football tactics:

Some people might say that was a set play, but if it was, the Swans must have copied it off a Portuguese bus timetable.

On Simon Black, again:

A lot of talk these days is about ‘inside players’. Well, as we saw there, if Simon Black was any more inside he’d be a pancreas.

On a clash between Essendon and Hawthorn great Paul Salmon and the more slimline St Kilda star Nicky ‘Elvis’ Winmar:

Just as Winmar landed, big Salmon came crashing down on top of him. They’re slowly getting up and now I can report the building has left the Elvis.

 

[Orange crush]

The orange team ….

 

[GhostofJimJess]

Five minutes after he'd commentated on Heath Shaw

23

Heath Shaw

Age

38

Ht

183cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.0

5star

K

15.8

5star

HB

5.2

4star

M

6.3

5star

T

2.4

4star

MG

472.4

5star

D

14.5

3star

K

11.0

4star

HB

3.5

2star

M

5.0

5star

T

1.6

3star

MG

244.0

4star

D

13.4

4star

K

9.6

4star

HB

3.8

3star

M

5.8

5star

T

1.4

4star

kicking one off the side of his boot and out on the full, Dennis Cometti on Heath Shaw

23

Heath Shaw

Age

38

Ht

183cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.0

5star

K

15.8

5star

HB

5.2

4star

M

6.3

5star

T

2.4

4star

MG

472.4

5star

D

14.5

3star

K

11.0

4star

HB

3.5

2star

M

5.0

5star

T

1.6

3star

MG

244.0

4star

D

13.4

4star

K

9.6

4star

HB

3.8

3star

M

5.8

5star

T

1.4

4star

spotting up a nice short pass onto the chest of a teammate. - "That's the Shaw shank redemption"

 

[Back One Out]

"What a mark by Schwass! The ball just stuck in his outstretched hands. It was a real sticker. A Schwass-sticker!"

- Dennis Cometti in the early 90's.

 

[Back One Out]

1988 Grand Final... Hawthorn 22.20 (152) def. Melbourne 6.20 (56)

DENNIS: "Melbourne are like the kid at the wrong end of a driving range getting paid a dollar a bucket."

 

[Partridge]

Five minutes after he'd commentated on Heath Shaw kicking one off the side of his boot and out on the full, Dennis Cometti on Heath Shaw spotting up a nice short pass onto the chest of a teammate. - "That's the Shaw shank redemption"

The thing was, the majority of Commetti's observations were very quick and impromptu - he had a flair for it. For a while I think he started trying to do it artificially, then very sensibly eased off and just went back to commentating.

Small wonder he was the best at it.

 

[Neese]

If you saw me and my Librarian colleagues in the pub you would not think we are quiet

 

[Mister Dog]

James Brayshaw:

“from downtown”

 

[burge13]

The best will be when Derwayne says "im retiring"

 

[010203]

Dennis Cometti - 2013 prellim Hawthorn vs Geelong - ''Get the hearse for the curse''.

Cometti again - "Metropolis, kicking to the City end".

Huddo - " The miracle on grass". "I see it but I don't believe it".

I liked Tim Lane's Bob Murray reference after Leo Barry

Leo Barry

Age

46

Ht

184cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

12.8

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

5.6

4star

M

5.0

5star

T

1.6

4star

No current season stats available

D

4.4

1star

K

2.6

1star

HB

1.8

2star

M

0.8

1star

T

1.2

3star

's famous mark in dying seconds of the 2005 grand final.

 

[StillAtLarge]

Sandy Roberts underrated, he let the picture tell the story

 

[ashep]

"Franklin again. He might try for a 70 metre goal. Then he really would be worth all the money they're paying him! GIVE HIM A LONGER CONTRACT!!"

 

[Dazzler9]

If you saw me and my Librarian colleagues in the pub you would not think we are quiet

SHOOSH!!

 

[Dazzler9]

Not footy, but worthy of an entry.

David Gower - "He's on 69. A very comfortable position to be in."