- Mar 16, 2014
- 8,524
- 8,666
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
And so we're edging closer to the season proper and next week we start to ramp up with a battle against the traditional foe, the Dark Scum of Mordor, Carlton.
Don't get me started on my loathing of Carlton. Suffice to say that they should go the way of Carthage. Princes Park should be burned to the ground and salt sown into the earth so nothing grows there again. A blighted waste should be a reminder to Carlton supporters of just what they deserve.
Having established the objective truth, let's turn to the practice match.
The mighty Magpies:
Questions abound after our stellar 2022 and though we should expect plenty of rotations and a few experiments, we might just glimpse a few answers too. Let's list some of the more intriguing questions for the pies:
1. The biggest questions are around the flankers. Who will pin down their positions for the opening round? For the forwards, we have young Reef Mcinness, who promised so much as a medium forward before popping his shoulder in a savage attack on the football mid-year. Bobby Hill promises to be our first zippy crumber since Magic Davis carved it up in 2010 and got us into that grand final replay with his 40m snap. Wilson has shown plenty of promise, while Bianco hasn't looked out of place and Carmichael played well in the intra-club. Ginnivan and Mcreery have established reputations and Sidebottom, Elliot, De Goey and Lilinski will all spend time forward. Adams looks set to join that group. Now that's depth. Who will seize their opportunities?
Meanwhile in defence there's the same questions. Quaynor and Maynard and Noble have established themselves, while Hoskin-Elliot looks like a lock to me down there. Pendlebury will set us up from half-back and drift into the middle when needed. N. Daicos seems likely to move into the midfield which leaves open the question who else might get a run in defence? Markov is staking a claim.
2. Third tall forward and backs. The questions arise as to who plays forward and back in the key positions. Forward locks are Mihocek and McStay. But who plays third tall? Likely to be a mix of Cameron/Cox, with a fourth tall option on the bench (Ash Johnson looks most likely since Ollie Henry showed us what loyalty doesn't mean and took the high road to betrayal town).
Key Backs are Moore and Frampton with Howe as the third and perhaps Murphy or Kelly on the interchange. Suffice to say there are spots up for grabs.
Opposition:
Though it makes me nauseous, I have to discuss the subhuman Carlton team. Oy how I long for the last 20 years of failures. Oh how I loved that day we turned up with wooden spoons, all the better to thrash them with.
Alas, those days have allowed them to stockpile early draft picks and quite a team. They should be competing for a top-four side, though thankfully the Injury Gods seem to be bringing some karma to the world. Without Williams and Walsh they come back a bit to the pack. Still, their tall forwards will test us -- Frampton in particular. They have two of the very best key forwards in Curnow and McKay -- good enough to send a shiver down my spine. Their tall backs are quality and they have a midfield to match us. In fact, they are ready to contend this year and should be a better side than last. I expect to see them Preliminary final weekend. Where's the bucket? I want to throw up.
The Washup:
So we have two finals aspirants going head-to-head. The fact, it was so evenly matched the last time we played only our superior moral stature was the difference. This means we'll get a good sense of where we're at and which players might be set for a good year. There's plenty of excitement for us, I think: N Daicos in the middle with DeGoey and Mitchell sounds devastating. Our wingers in J Daicos and Sidebottom are among the best in the business. Our new forward setup looks deadly and we've filled some holes in our defence. There are some concerns over some aging stars: how long can the legends of Howe, Pendlebury, Sidebottom and Adams keep going? Can Cox carry the bulk of the ruck? Will Cameron return from injury and can he play like he did the first half of the year or will he drop to the level of his second, serviceable, half? Which youngsters will take the next step?
The brutal truth -- and I promise to give it to you as objectively as I see it each week -- is that Carlton might be several steps ahead of us on talent, one step ahead of us in terms of team balance and game plan, but a few toes behind on spirit and soul and ethical value -- they are, after all, the slum-dwelling orcs of Mordor. That vicious rodent Voss is a perfect coach for them. I'll never forgive him for shouting at Scotty Burns in the GF. But I digress. It all makes for an intriguing matchup.
Prediction: Pies by 1 point in a match that doesn't really amount to a hill of beans but should give us a sense of our best team
PS. Just who is Finnish? A third generation from a famous pie family, Finnish has some Scandinavian roots and is sometimes mistaken for Ragnar Lothbruk -- or at least the actor who plays him -- though he's mostly Irish rather than nordic. He joined bigfooty when living in Finland close to a decade ago and was homesick for someone to talk to about the footy. As a kid he loved the 1990 team and will never love players more than he loved Daicos, Millane, Brown, Shaw, the Moorwoods, and the rest of them. That's what it is to hit middle age -- you love the old teams and the old music but you do your best to keep up.
Finnish will not use player's nicknames out of respect for other posters. We're gonna be professional here. There will also be none of these Americanisms. We don't have "Offence and Deefence." No, we have attack/forwards and defence/backs. Enough cultural imperialism and commercialisation. Take your complaints the the obese owner of SEN. Yes, the potato Hutchinson. He'll listen to your tears. As a writer and editor he will also do his best to distinguish between they're and their, and use appropriate punctuation. But he's not perfect and doesn't expect anyone else to be. For God's sake, let the season begin already!
Don't get me started on my loathing of Carlton. Suffice to say that they should go the way of Carthage. Princes Park should be burned to the ground and salt sown into the earth so nothing grows there again. A blighted waste should be a reminder to Carlton supporters of just what they deserve.
Having established the objective truth, let's turn to the practice match.
The mighty Magpies:
Questions abound after our stellar 2022 and though we should expect plenty of rotations and a few experiments, we might just glimpse a few answers too. Let's list some of the more intriguing questions for the pies:
1. The biggest questions are around the flankers. Who will pin down their positions for the opening round? For the forwards, we have young Reef Mcinness, who promised so much as a medium forward before popping his shoulder in a savage attack on the football mid-year. Bobby Hill promises to be our first zippy crumber since Magic Davis carved it up in 2010 and got us into that grand final replay with his 40m snap. Wilson has shown plenty of promise, while Bianco hasn't looked out of place and Carmichael played well in the intra-club. Ginnivan and Mcreery have established reputations and Sidebottom, Elliot, De Goey and Lilinski will all spend time forward. Adams looks set to join that group. Now that's depth. Who will seize their opportunities?
Meanwhile in defence there's the same questions. Quaynor and Maynard and Noble have established themselves, while Hoskin-Elliot looks like a lock to me down there. Pendlebury will set us up from half-back and drift into the middle when needed. N. Daicos seems likely to move into the midfield which leaves open the question who else might get a run in defence? Markov is staking a claim.
2. Third tall forward and backs. The questions arise as to who plays forward and back in the key positions. Forward locks are Mihocek and McStay. But who plays third tall? Likely to be a mix of Cameron/Cox, with a fourth tall option on the bench (Ash Johnson looks most likely since Ollie Henry showed us what loyalty doesn't mean and took the high road to betrayal town).
Key Backs are Moore and Frampton with Howe as the third and perhaps Murphy or Kelly on the interchange. Suffice to say there are spots up for grabs.
Opposition:
Though it makes me nauseous, I have to discuss the subhuman Carlton team. Oy how I long for the last 20 years of failures. Oh how I loved that day we turned up with wooden spoons, all the better to thrash them with.
Alas, those days have allowed them to stockpile early draft picks and quite a team. They should be competing for a top-four side, though thankfully the Injury Gods seem to be bringing some karma to the world. Without Williams and Walsh they come back a bit to the pack. Still, their tall forwards will test us -- Frampton in particular. They have two of the very best key forwards in Curnow and McKay -- good enough to send a shiver down my spine. Their tall backs are quality and they have a midfield to match us. In fact, they are ready to contend this year and should be a better side than last. I expect to see them Preliminary final weekend. Where's the bucket? I want to throw up.
The Washup:
So we have two finals aspirants going head-to-head. The fact, it was so evenly matched the last time we played only our superior moral stature was the difference. This means we'll get a good sense of where we're at and which players might be set for a good year. There's plenty of excitement for us, I think: N Daicos in the middle with DeGoey and Mitchell sounds devastating. Our wingers in J Daicos and Sidebottom are among the best in the business. Our new forward setup looks deadly and we've filled some holes in our defence. There are some concerns over some aging stars: how long can the legends of Howe, Pendlebury, Sidebottom and Adams keep going? Can Cox carry the bulk of the ruck? Will Cameron return from injury and can he play like he did the first half of the year or will he drop to the level of his second, serviceable, half? Which youngsters will take the next step?
The brutal truth -- and I promise to give it to you as objectively as I see it each week -- is that Carlton might be several steps ahead of us on talent, one step ahead of us in terms of team balance and game plan, but a few toes behind on spirit and soul and ethical value -- they are, after all, the slum-dwelling orcs of Mordor. That vicious rodent Voss is a perfect coach for them. I'll never forgive him for shouting at Scotty Burns in the GF. But I digress. It all makes for an intriguing matchup.
Prediction: Pies by 1 point in a match that doesn't really amount to a hill of beans but should give us a sense of our best team
PS. Just who is Finnish? A third generation from a famous pie family, Finnish has some Scandinavian roots and is sometimes mistaken for Ragnar Lothbruk -- or at least the actor who plays him -- though he's mostly Irish rather than nordic. He joined bigfooty when living in Finland close to a decade ago and was homesick for someone to talk to about the footy. As a kid he loved the 1990 team and will never love players more than he loved Daicos, Millane, Brown, Shaw, the Moorwoods, and the rest of them. That's what it is to hit middle age -- you love the old teams and the old music but you do your best to keep up.
Finnish will not use player's nicknames out of respect for other posters. We're gonna be professional here. There will also be none of these Americanisms. We don't have "Offence and Deefence." No, we have attack/forwards and defence/backs. Enough cultural imperialism and commercialisation. Take your complaints the the obese owner of SEN. Yes, the potato Hutchinson. He'll listen to your tears. As a writer and editor he will also do his best to distinguish between they're and their, and use appropriate punctuation. But he's not perfect and doesn't expect anyone else to be. For God's sake, let the season begin already!
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