The Great Potatoe Harvest of 2019

Tempy Tiger

Premiership Player
Sep 18, 2006
4,349
3,443
AFL Club
Melbourne
So who gets it in the neck?
- Keilty, surely
- JKH, again, surely, but I remain adamant he is an AFL level player, we just killed his career as is our want
- Tim Smith, I think he stays
- AVB, gone, unfortunately his body is broken beyond repair
- bedford, gone, has shown 2/3 of 0
- Lewis - cooked
- Kolodjashnij (what a ridiculously hard name to spell!) gone, for his own well being
- Jeffy - left the building two years ago
- Stretch - unfortunately has become a quintessential list clogger
- Maynard - I hope we keep him,
- the Waffen brothers, I hope we keep josh

It’s shaping up to be an all time record harvest.

On top of this, Jones, Hibberd and Nev are all near to the end and Brayshaw looks as invested as Jack Watts in a gym.
 

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Sylvia Saint

Norm Smith Medallist
May 20, 2004
7,187
6,337
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Crusaders
Delist: Maynard, KK, JKH, J Wagner (senior list)
Delist: Keilty, C Wagner (rookie list)
"Retire": Garlett
50/50 retire: Vandenberg

1 year deal: Lewis (play as permanent forward / off field mentor)

Keep: The rest you mentioned.
 

Tempy Tiger

Premiership Player
Sep 18, 2006
4,349
3,443
AFL Club
Melbourne
We'd have to jettison every midfielder we currently have into space for him to be frivolously considered for a run of games at senior level.
Our midfield sucks. Oliver has regressed this year. He gets lots of possessions but most of them help the opposition more than us. Harmes gets a pass. He’s our best mid right now in my opinion. Brayshaw s**ts me to tears. He’s lazy, has zero accountability and runs one way. Trac is only capable of doing short bursts here and there as he has the engine of an e-bike. Viney is a shell of what he was. He’s not even aggressive anymore and that was always his best trait. Nathan Jones was b grade at the peak of his powers. He’s no longer even best 22. Lewis moves worse than me and I’m fat and 43 years old. Salem, id like to see more of in the guts. Fritsch isn’t an onballer.

So who are the gun mids keeping him out? Our team is picked on reputation, not performance.
 

Proper Gander

Owl whisperer and secret agent
Feb 15, 2015
16,161
26,524
Port Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Mt Buller Demons
Potatoes (gone)
JKH, Keilty, Maynard

Turnips (likely gone)
T Smith, Lewis, Jeffy

Beets (could stay, could go)
Stretch, Wagners

Magic Beans (will stay because they could sprout into something beautiful, but probably won't)
KK, AVB

Sweet Potato (could fool some clubs with his bright colour and be traded, still a potato)
ANB
I would like to present J Hunt as a sweet potato option. I like him, but I feel as though his speed and headband might persuade a club he is twice the player he is, and we might get something nicer back.

I would also like to move Jordan Lewis from Turnip to potato. I wouldn’t have a few weeks back but there are now some embarrassing and awkward circumstances between me and Jordy that make it difficult for me to see him on TV so sorry Jordan, you have to go. It’s not you, it’s me.
 

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Reality IS

Debutant
May 8, 2019
73
97
AFL Club
Melbourne
Potatoes
JKH, Keilty, T Smith, Jeffy

Turnips
Lewis, Stretch, C Wagner, Maynard, KK

Beets
Stretch, AVB, J Wagner, ANB

Trade Table (all of the above. if anyone wants them!)
Viney
O Mac
Hunt
Baker
Pruess
 

Dancing Potato

Club Legend
Jul 7, 2015
1,814
3,093
AFL Club
Melbourne
I would like to present J Hunt as a sweet potato option. I like him, but I feel as though his speed and headband might persuade a club he is twice the player he is, and we might get something nicer back.

I would also like to move Jordan Lewis from Turnip to potato. I wouldn’t have a few weeks back but there are now some embarrassing and awkward circumstances between me and Jordy that make it difficult for me to see him on TV so sorry Jordan, you have to go. It’s not you, it’s me.
I'd like to keep Hunt but you're right that he's exactly the sort we might get something decent back for.

Are the embarrassing and awkward circumstances hair related? I feel like it definitely would be for you...
 

Proper Gander

Owl whisperer and secret agent
Feb 15, 2015
16,161
26,524
Port Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Mt Buller Demons
I'd like to keep Hunt but you're right that he's exactly the sort we might get something decent back for.

Are the embarrassing and awkward circumstances hair related? I feel like it definitely would be for you...
No it’s worse than that.

I am going to regret posting this at some point but whatever.

Have you ever been asleep and having some vaguely sexy sort of dream and you wake up and are feeling all good and all only to suddenly freak out and leap out of bed because you’ve just realised the cast of characters? I’m finding it difficult to look Jordy in the eye at the moment. He’s been selected in every game since, plus he pops up everywhere in commentary roles. Something has to be done or I’ll utilise the power of the #metoo movement and confuse the courts by attempting to take out an AVO on my TV
 

CWaffles

Premiership Player
Jul 10, 2012
4,271
4,403
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Ferrari, Chicago Bulls, NY Giants
Potatoes (gone)
JKH, Keilty, Maynard

Turnips (likely gone)
T Smith, Lewis, Jeffy

Beets (could stay, could go)
Stretch, Wagners

Magic Beans (will stay because they could sprout into something beautiful, but probably won't)
KK, AVB

Sweet Potato (could fool some clubs with his bright colour and be traded, still a potato)
ANB
You of all people would know a Potato when you see one.
 

Johnny Karate

All Australian
Apr 13, 2015
776
1,887
AFL Club
Melbourne
Out: Lewis, Stretch, Maynard*, JKH, Garlett, C Wagner*, J Wagner, Keilty*

50/50: Kolodjashnij, vandenBerg (contracted but his chronic foot injuries could force him into retirement), Walker *(see vandenBerg replace foot with shoulder), J Smith (could seek a trade if he’s f’ed off at the club).

Will stay but meh: Spargo, Hannan, O Mac, ANB, T Smith

Declining: Jones, Hibberd, Jetta

Need a ******* rocket up them: Viney, Brayshaw, Preuss, Weideman, T Mac, Hunt

Who knows? - Bedford, Jordon, Nietschke, Sparrow, Baker, Chandler, Bradtke, Dunkley


* Rookie
 
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