Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Markfs]

Magden is playing over in SA as well.

Foggy, sometimes you're like some kid at the zoo with a stick prodding the animals.....

 

[Markfs]

I'm not sure if jen's twitter link will work but if this is training, what in the world are the coaches thinking????????? Are they auditioning for boney m?

 

[sr36]

I'm not sure if jen's twitter link will work but if this is training, what in the world are the coaches thinking????????? Are they auditioning for boney m?

It's the plant based milk. Their bones are stuffed and they can't run properly.

 

[sr36]

Not always, I think. I was abusing the browns to get them out the door. There are some players that just dont meet the standards of a collingwood player. But if Will Kelly actually learns how to play football this year, I might be more willing to accept him. It's hard to be so generous when he is doing things with his hair that are just unacceptable. So it's complicated for me, but I follow your thinking.

You're right. It is complicated with so many reasons to yell angry abuse. But if you stick to the basics of screaming 3s and a w as often as possible, you can't really go wrong. Spud, squib, soft, woke.

 

[Markfs]

Mitchell could be a dark horse if the "he racks up useless possessions that don't hurt the opposition" mantra gets going.

That's a nice pick. The greater the promise, the greater the letdown...

 

[Markfs]

You're right. It is complicated with so many reasons to yell angry abuse. But if you stick to the basics of screaming 3s and a w as often as possible, you can't really go wrong. Spud, squib, soft, woke.

I'm looking forward to this season's post game loss threads where we can just let rip.... I think it's the basis of the science

 

[Markfs]

It's the plant based milk. Their bones are stuffed and they can't run properly.

You're being kind to the coaches. They're humiliating the players. Trying to make them soft...

 

[sr36]

You're being kind to the coaches. They're humiliating the players. Trying to make them soft...

Nah. It's a bit of classic mongrel humiliation of the show ponies.

The coaches are trying to build mongrel. You can see in the photo below that they're beginning with the basics that our softest blokes didn't learn in their formative years.



WHE is working on the classic mongrel play of nipple crippling the younger bloke. The kind of thing that Bruzzy has been doing since under 10s. He'll work up to wedgies, Chinese burns and dead legs and if all goes well he'll get a taste for it and hopefully progress to grinding blokes faces into the dirt. We can only hope.

 

[Hyakutake]

Nah. It's a bit of classic mongrel humiliation of the show ponies.

The coaches are trying to build mongrel. You can see in the photo below that they're beginning with the basics that our softest blokes didn't learn in their formative years.

View attachment 1591472

WHE is working on the classic mongrel play of nipple crippling the younger bloke. The kind of thing that Bruzzy has been doing since under 10s. He'll work up to wedgies, Chinese burns and dead legs and if all goes well he'll get a taste for it and hopefully progress to grinding blokes faces into the dirt. We can only hope.

I'd be worried about starting a nipple cripple war with a guy with that sort of legendary mullet. What starts with a nipple cripple often ends with squirrel grip under those circumstances in my experience

 

[Markfs]

I'd be worried about starting a nipple cripple war with a guy with that sort of legendary mullet. What starts with a nipple cripple often ends with squirrel grip under those circumstances in my experience

He's got the mullet but has he got the mongrel....

I've seen designer mullets before and the other thing is that he's from adelaide... i think they're so far behind that the roughguys are the skinheads...

 

[Markfs]

that hyphen guy in the above pic looks like he's pushing 40....and i've got better muscle definition.. has he ever lifted some weights?

 

[Vicky Park]

It's the plant based milk. Their bones are stuffed and they can't run properly.

Why don’t we just call it ‘woke milk’? It’s easier to say ‘he’s a woke milk drinker’ or ‘he drinks woke milk’.

It combines all our prejudices in a very simple phrase that even we can remember, when spewing our bile. And it neatly encapsulates all that’s wrong with some of these guys.

That, plus as I’ve just learned, their inability to do nipple cripples, Chinese burns and the like. How much to we pay their coaches? Pathetic if they’ve failed to teach these techniques. I’m disgusted.

 

[jmac70]

Why don’t we just call it ‘woke milk’? It’s easier to say ‘he’s a woke milk drinker’ or ‘he drinks woke milk’.

It combines all our prejudices in a very simple phrase that even we can remember, when spewing our bile. And it neatly encapsulates all that’s wrong with some of these guys.

That, plus as I’ve just learned, their inability to do nipple cripples, Chinese burns and the like. How much to we pay their coaches? Pathetic if they’ve failed to teach these techniques. I’m disgusted.

Every player should drink full cream milk and know how to deliver an atomic wedgie.

 

[Markfs]

Why don’t we just call it ‘woke milk’? It’s easier to say ‘he’s a woke milk drinker’ or ‘he drinks woke milk’.

It combines all our prejudices in a very simple phrase that even we can remember, when spewing our bile. And it neatly encapsulates all that’s wrong with some of these guys.

That, plus as I’ve just learned, their inability to do nipple cripples, Chinese burns and the like. How much to we pay their coaches? Pathetic if they’ve failed to teach these techniques. I’m disgusted.

gee whiz, i'm not sure we need to go into that prejudice stuff. If we're anything, we're just prejudiced for collingwood. We embrace all types, as long as they can bring their mongrel skills. We dont want to get too fixated on the wokes as long as the boys dont exhibit wimpish behaviour. I think when the season starts, we'll see a lot more football things to target. The out of season visits to cafes will just become one part of our focus. I know that I'd like to make it clear to other pie supporters that my hatred is free of any prejudice.

 

[sr36]

Why don’t we just call it ‘woke milk’? It’s easier to say ‘he’s a woke milk drinker’ or ‘he drinks woke milk’.

It combines all our prejudices in a very simple phrase that even we can remember, when spewing our bile. And it neatly encapsulates all that’s wrong with some of these guys.

That, plus as I’ve just learned, their inability to do nipple cripples, Chinese burns and the like. How much to we pay their coaches? Pathetic if they’ve failed to teach these techniques. I’m disgusted.

I usually go with woke milk, but that's a broader category that includes things like reindeer milk and milk sourced from Himalayas from a whole range of beasts. And whilst those other woke milks are despicable, they don't result in the diseased bones that Darcy Moore is sooking about.

 

[Vicky Park]

I usually go with woke milk, but that's a broader category that includes things like reindeer milk and milk sourced from Himalayas from a whole range of beasts. And whilst those other woke milks are despicable, they don't result in the diseased bones that Darcy Moore is sooking about.

I hope the club is testing all these milks, to see if we can use some to our advantage. Milk obtained from mammals is so old fashioned. Innovate Pies!!

 

[Markfs]

i think the next big event is the vote for captain. If darcy gets in, we'll have more to worry about than just the milk....

 

[Markfs]

i worry about what happens to the spud after he gets tossed on the scrap heap in the near future......someone out there must need a guy to hold the stop/slow sign at a road construction

 

[sr36]

I hope the club is testing all these milks, to see if we can use some to our advantage. Milk obtained from mammals is so old fashioned. Innovate Pies!!

Shark milk would have to have some mongrel inducing effect.

 

[Markfs]

Shark milk would have to have some mongrel inducing effect.

Rumour has it that the selwood brothers were breast fed until they were 18

 

[Horaceg]

They can still be whipped but are not eligible for the Blair Memorial Trophy.

Appreciate the confirmation, active Participation, wouldn’t want anyone outside the Club in receipt of the ‘Blairie’

 

[Horaceg]

Rumour has it that the selwood brothers were breast fed until they were 18

Rumour?……They Are still feeding each other that way

 

[sr36]

Rumour has it that the selwood brothers were breast fed until they were 18

I'm glad you mentioned Joel Selwood. I've been doing some research on what it takes to win flags, and there's no doubt that mongrel is crucial, but it's about how to maximise it, and the answer is obnoxious twerps as leaders. Selwood, Tony Shaw, Clarkson, Mick Malthouse = flags. With that in mind, I'm proposing Ginnivan as captain and some serious obnoxiousness training for McRae.

 

[Pistol Night]

I'm glad you mentioned Joel Selwood. I've been doing some research on what it takes to win flags, and there's no doubt that mongrel is crucial, but it's about how to maximise it, and the answer is obnoxious twerps as leaders. Selwood, Tony Shaw, Clarkson, Mick Malthouse = flags. With that in mind, I'm proposing Ginnivan as captain and some serious obnoxiousness training for McRae.

Fly could do that training and still only be slighty miffed. Hes too nice of a bloke

 

[Pistol Night]

Rumour?……They Are still feeding each other that way

Ollie Henry the surrogate