Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Finnishpie]

We’ll never be rid of the one on the right, who never plays, because everyone is scared of his dad. Big Bad Craig Kelly. I’m scared just typing his name.

Becoming CEO of his son’s club was a clever move to bolster his son’s career. Although ‘bolster’ implies the existence of a career, and some of us doubt even that. Perhaps the new CEO can try and locate the career, as one of his first tasks at the AIAIAAI Centre. After he finishes scaring everyone.

This is Craig Kelly undercover VP, and this is what I'm gonna do to you....

 

[Pistol Night]

This is Craig Kelly undercover VP, and this is what I'm gonna do to you....

Our CEO ladies and gents.

 

[Vicky Park]

yeh he's locked in. Did that renewed perm appear post-ned announcement? It might be ned jnr's middle finger to the masses that he is going nowhere for 5 years or more. And every photo of him that I see of him indicates to me that he's as thick as a brick and almost immune to whipping. It's very deflating....but we just have to accept that he fills the role of permanent list clogger. Derek has normally rotated that role...

I’m not opposed to the role of permanent list clogger. At least it makes them easier to spot, for dullards like me.

 

[Markfs]

I’m not opposed to the role of permanent list clogger. At least it makes them easier to spot, for dullards like me.

fortunately we do have some particularly expert experts in this forum. Probably like you, I'm not a great judge of footy skills unless someone like the Madge turns up and drops the ball consistently. I normally judge a player on how many opposition players he can injure.

I think a lot of it boils down to Derek. He needs to adjust his choice of players away from which schools they go to, birthdays, quality of the lamingtons provided by mothers.....and look a little more at whether the kid can actually play the game. If he does that, we can afford to carry a few sons of ex players. And then as official list cloggers, we can sent them out to media events and the sports people will love em.

 

[Markfs]

In a brutal takedown by Jen in another thread, she has said that the new guy on the list is going to take Madge's number.....so thats the kiss of death for the kid. He might as well chuck his footy career in. It's a bit unfortunate because the kid meaured up at 207cm this morning, after growing from 204cm yesterday and 201 a few weeks back when they last measured him. I cant believe why the club just doesnt measure him every hour to get him up to 220cm before the start of the season.

 

[sr36]

Surely one of the criteria for your Whipping should be an age limit. You can not be whipped under the Geneva Convention unless you are 25 years of age or over.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hallelujah, a bloke with half a clue. This mob has whipping frenzy, if it moves whip it and if it doesn't whip it.

Jesus Christ. 25? You want the club to give the Browns and the Kellys 7 years on the list before we are allowed to whip them? Preposterous.

And as for noideaatall castigating us for whipping players who don't move? ******* hell...

 

[sr36]

Looking at another thread about what team to field in round one, I noticed that little johnny noble had been left out. It's not the first time that he has been ignored hoping that he would simply clean out his locker and go home. It seems that north can get rid of their noble but we're struggling to do it.

We cant just leave this eyesore to remain in the team. He is not up to our standard. We've been saying that since he arrived and shocked us as to just uncool this guy was. And it doesnt matter how many hair makeovers he has and how many tatts he gets to cover his body.....he will never look like a Collingwood player.

If you can bring yourself to look, here is the little one with that other aberration....obviously prior to the visit to the richmond parlour to get the hair permed... Notice the ripped jeans on the little one.

I am begging the fly to end this now. Just clear out his locker and change the lock on the front door of the AMA Bisexual Centre. Just ignore him and he'll get it at some stage.....hopefully....and delist him and he might give up..... hopefully

View attachment 1603265

I'm just impressed that even during off season you remembered who John Noble is.

 

[sr36]

whiipping boy hairView attachment 1603000

That pube headed bloke has been in a lot of photos with footballers recently. Is he a groupie?

 

[Vicky Park]

That pube headed bloke has been in a lot of photos with footballers recently. Is he a groupie?

Pay attention! He occupies the newly created role of 'permanent list clogger' - or PLC. He's there to receive all the abuse, bile and vitriol, so the other players dont cop it. Its a brillaint initiative by the club.

 

[Markfs]

Pay attention! He occupies the newly created role of 'permanent list clogger' - or PLC. He's there to receive all the abuse, bile and vitriol, so the other players dont cop it. Its a brillaint initiative by the club.

Lifetime or until Ned gets the flick....

 

[Markfs]

well unless she's plays AFLW, we got a photo without a footballer and Ned the Sequel in it

 

[Markfs]

I promise this is the last pic.......I just had to post it to share my bewilderment...

 

[sr36]

Pay attention! He occupies the newly created role of 'permanent list clogger' - or PLC. He's there to receive all the abuse, bile and vitriol, so the other players dont cop it. Its a brillaint initiative by the club.

Not sure how brilliant it is. When we're cracking the whips during and after a loss (or win). We're not bothering with a pube headed bloke who was hiding in hospital or spudding it up in the reserves. It's the blokes who spud or squib it up on the big stage that earn the lashes. Lashing Pube Head is just an off season distraction.

 

[sr36]

I promise this is the last pic.......I just had to post it to share my bewilderment...

View attachment 1603481

Did you put photos of Mariah Carey and a female Afghani refugee into one of those silly apps that combines two photos?

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

I’m not opposed to the role of permanent list clogger. At least it makes them easier to spot, for dullards like me.

Should we give them a special number to recognise their status?

 

[sr36]

Should we give them a special number to recognise their status?

Tough call. So many numbers to choose from.

11 to honour Blair or 26 to honour Ben Johnson? Or what about 24 for Apple turnover Turner?

Personally, I'd go with 27. It hits the incredible spuddishness of Jason Wild and then segues into the astonishingly soft squibishness of Craig Starevich - currently worn by a work for the dole recipient - Cooper Murley. Yep we haven't whipped him yet - only because he may not actually exist. Did Dekka just make up someone's name on draft day?

 

[Markfs]

Did you put photos of Mariah Carey and a female Afghani refugee into one of those silly apps that combines two photos?

No i did try mariah carey and an afghan hound....but ned jnr provided something more bizarre

I just got a call from the pie equity officer. She told me to go easy on ned jnr. He's on a journey....

 

[jmac70]

View attachment 1600841Pensive skipper

Nice pants.

 

[Markfs]

I've been advised that I have lost the generational plot and I should read this

Adwan: Yes, Millennials and Gen Z are “Soft.” That’s Not a Bad Thing.

Making the case that “softness” should be destigmatized.

mndaily.com

In short, mongrelness is beyond generation z. They see strength in perms and empathy. They are going to negotiate their way to a premiership using their social media skills. I can't wait....

 

[Markfs]

Did you put photos of Mariah Carey and a female Afghani refugee into one of those silly apps that combines two photos?

Talking about photos, I've noticed that a few of the familiar faces have acquired a darcy look on their avatars? (is that how you say it?) Maybe its time for you to ditch that fonz guy and hitch up with the darcy train.....

 

[Markfs]

one can see where he got his nose.... I always thought that Peter was his father...

 

[Markfs]

I was thinking about a theme song for the thread.....

 

[Matrix10]

That pube headed bloke has been in a lot of photos with footballers recently. Is he a groupie?

Re-incarnated Shirley Temple.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Looks like Oleg is our new potential whipping boy. Rumour has it he kicked Charlie Dean in the injured foot to ensure a spot opened up for him. You might think that ruthless….but it was in reality done out of desperation so I’m prepared to forgive him. If he hadn’t done what he did he might be a Carlton player by now. With that threat hanging over ones head, of course anybody would go to extreme measures and be perfectly justified doing so.

 

[Vicky Park]

Looks like Oleg is our new potential whipping boy. Rumour has it he kicked Charlie Dean in the injured foot to ensure a spot opened up for him. You might think that ruthless….but it was in reality done out of desperation so I’m prepared to forgive him. If he hadn’t done what he did he might be a Carlton player by now. With that threat hanging over ones head, of course anybody would go to extreme measures and be perfectly justified doing so.

Oleg has been saved. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I can’t imagine the trauma he experienced during his - 24 hours? - at Carlton. I think the Geneva Convention might apply.

But Fly and co sensed his distress and with Dean’s cooperation, found a way to extract him from behind enemy lines. And his stache, which I think will be the focus of some vitriol on here. I already don’t like him because of it.