Roast The Drag on my Intelligence, the Bane of my Existence, my unchallenged Icon of Mediocrity … that is David Koch

[Lockhart Road]

Reading all of this thread among others, my first instinct is to want 5 minutes alone in a locked room with Koch with no witnesses. The rational side of me, however, tells me that will acheive nothing but vent a little bit of my rage towards this vile regime.

We simply have to find a way, by any means necessary, to very spectacularly and publicly shatter this smug turd's ego. To not do so is as un Port Adelaide as the current frauds in charge themselves.

Five minutes in a locked room.

I would enjoy that … but no such thing is possible.

Many years were spent - by me - trying to engage with David Koch. In all my time we never had a one-on-one. Koch is someone you can never nail down. He is a lizard. He is a coward.

He had KT sack me … even though my disagreements with the club were based on support for KT, up to a debatable point.

Koch never replied to an email, never created the atmosphere in which we could communicate, despite my efforts to create achievements for the club. He viewed me as competition. Yes, he is THAT small.

China was Koch’s creation in his inward-looking little mind. He was fearful, he was envious, of anyone who might have more savvy on China than he did. It wasn’t hard to be such an adversary because Koch had none.

Koch never replied to an email from me. He never initiated a subject for exchange with an email of his own.

The only time in eleven years that he sent me an email was to complain to me about my putting pressure on the club to properly recognise my colleague, Peter Phillips, when he suddenly died last year, at home one Saturday morning.

Koch lectured me on what my approach should be to the club at such a time.

I answered his email and I gave him hell. You know me. I know how to put hell into words.

Koch replied, only because I had started my email with ‘My Dear David …”

He started his email with ‘My Dear Denis …” After that there followed one word: ‘Noted’.

To say that David Koch is a glob of excrement on the road to progress is to praise him beyond reality.

 

[Peninsula Boy]

Lockhart Road unveiling the mystery of David Kochmonger and it is really ugly.

What a Legend.

 

[Launchpad McQuack]

Reading all of this thread among others, my first instinct is to want 5 minutes alone in a locked room with Koch with no witnesses. The rational side of me, however, tells me that will acheive nothing but vent a little bit of my rage towards this vile regime.

We simply have to find a way, by any means necessary, to very spectacularly and publicly shatter this smug turd's ego. To not do so is as un Port Adelaide as the current frauds in charge themselves.

The largest injury you could cause David is to ask him who he is and what he does but just look at your phone when he starts talking.

 

[Lockhart Road]

Lockhart Road unveiling the mystery of David Kochmonger and it is really ugly.

What a Legend.

I have only just started.

 

[Peninsula Boy]

I have only just started.

Holy Genesis, Batman.

I feel for you buddy. To be close up to this parasite ruining our club. You must have great restraint.

 

[Lockhart Road]

Holy Genesis, Batman.

I feel for you buddy. To be close up to this parasite ruining our club. You must have great restraint.

It’s not restraint. It’s reality - something Koch never had sight of.

There are a select number of BF posters who rank up there equal to anything I might be accused of trying to create.

Without REH our club would not be where it is … wherever it is.

We need his unique contribution to be recognised and put out there … forcefully.

The man is a marvel. Not superhero. I leave that for a moment - a level which I hope he decides to go for.

Up against such people who are real PORT people, those such as Koch have no chance.

 

[GremioPower]

Imagine Ange Postecoglou in charge of the socceroos being asked by SBS to throw yerba mate over his shoulder as a stunt prior to a match against Argentina in their country? Reckon he or FA would be "yeah that's ******* hilarious!"

It would be hilarious. In the sense of watching someone stupid doing stupid things:

— Che, loco, ¿viste lo que pasó con el Canguro? Te lo juro que tiró la yerba-mate por sobre el hombro hacia atrás como se fuera un cura africano.

— Sí, lo vi. No entendí nada. Deve ser una costumbre australiana…

—​

— Hey, mate, did you see what happened with the Kangaroo? I swear he threw the yerba-mate back over his shoulder like an African priest.

— Yes, I saw it. I’m clueless. It must be an Australian custom...

 

[1954]

The largest injury you could cause David is to ask him who he is and what he does but just look at your phone when he starts talking.

I couldn't agree more hurting the campaigner's ego is the way to go.

I remember back in the early 1980's when an absolutely up herself female who had a pathetic little day time tv show on C10 called a Touch of Elegance came into the book publisher's office where I worked and asked to see one of the editors.
Cool as a cucumber, and remaining totally professional but with just a slight hint of sarcasm our receptionist asked her who she was, resulting in said female just about collapsing on the spot at the lack of recognition, it was absolute GOLD!

 

[StrappingTape]

Yep, he will survive the crows going past us.

They pantsed us twice this year, they are already past us head to head.

 

[MrMeaner]

I was listening to a podcast earlier this week in which the host and the guest were discussing NFL teams and owners. My ears pricked up when they mentioned how some owners don't really care about winning, so long as the revenue stream is there. Our Chairman (and those under him) acts like one of those owners.

 

[philreich]

Exactly. This is the issue. Koch has closed the gap between our best and worst by lowering our ceiling to a point where we can't win a flag. The GWS loss didn't really hurt because nobody paying attention thought for a second that we could win the flag.

Winning a premiership is so far down the priority list for this club, it's insane.

Which is why it's so important to get rid of Koch - if he stays for another 10 years, then so does Ken.

 

[1954]

They pantsed us twice this year, they are already past us head to head.

Agreed, Hinkley's showdown record is as abysmal as his final's record!

 

[Capital Power]

I was listening to a podcast earlier this week in which the host and the guest were discussing NFL teams and owners. My ears pricked up when they mentioned how some owners don't really care about winning, so long as the revenue stream is there. Our Chairman (and those under him) acts like one of those owners.

Our owner (the AFL) doesn't care about us winning. In fact, they'd rather we stayed middling. Everything else stems from that.

 

[Jojay]

Hopefully you'll be disclosing some more nuggets soon Lockhart Road ?

 

[Jojay]

Our owner (the AFL) doesn't care about us winning. In fact, they'd rather we stayed middling. Everything else stems from that.

Yep, we're perpetually tenth in pretty much every conceivable metric. Mission accomplished.

 

[1954]

My avatar, I believe, sums up Hinkley. It reveals what is in between his left ear and his right ear - not a complete vacuum, but not the right stuff that a senior AFL coach in 2019 (when it happened) should have.

Hinkley knew he was on TV, and thus an audience from Camperdown would be watching. So he playacted. He tried to be funny, but what he achieved was to be insulting, not just to his Chinese hosts but also to his employers. He cared about neither.

Alan Richardson, out of sight in the GIF, said something like: “I think there are people down there, Ken.”

Ignorance, primitive personality, latent racism rendered suddenly obvious, zero internationalism … all are on display.

And what is not on display, but is lurking in the shadows, is Koch. Whether he even knows, to this day, that Hinkley‘s stunt, performed wearing a PAFC uniform, was caught on global TV, is unknown. Perhaps Tredders will ask him next week.

Hinkley represents Koch in everything he does - Koch put him where he is and Koch keeps him where he is, therefore Koch bears responsibility for every dumb stunt Hinkley pulls, every bogan word that comes out of Hinkley’s mouth, every grin that Hinkley wears after a loss on gameday, every embarrassment Hinkley causes to the directors, members and supporters of PAFC.

Koch is ultimately responsible for putting a drongo in front of a TV camera in Shanghai so that the world, China especially, can see and wonder who the leaders of PAFC really are, what the culture-setters at Alberton really think, and consequently doubt the genuine intent of Australians in general.

Hinkley’s off-the-cuff attempt at his sort of humour was an insult to every one of us.

Absolutely agree LR, the tea incident epitomised Hinkley's complete lack of class, and the club's beyond pathetic off field `so called' leadership, no Port coach in the club's history would have ever been that F****** stupid, and as unlikely as it would have been that someone like him would have got a gig in Big Bob McLean's time I suspect any BS like that and they would have had strips torn off them!

 

[PJ Power]

Five minutes in a locked room.

I would enjoy that … but no such thing is possible.

Many years were spent - by me - trying to engage with David Koch. In all my time we never had a one-on-one. Koch is someone you can never nail down. He is a lizard. He is a coward.

He had KT sack me … even though my disagreements with the club were based on support for KT, up to a debatable point.

Koch never replied to an email, never created the atmosphere in which we could communicate, despite my efforts to create achievements for the club. He viewed me as competition. Yes, he is THAT small.

China was Koch’s creation in his inward-looking little mind. He was fearful, he was envious, of anyone who might have more savvy on China than he did. It wasn’t hard to be such an adversary because Koch had none.

Koch never replied to an email from me. He never initiated a subject for exchange with an email of his own.

The only time in eleven years that he sent me an email was to complain to me about my putting pressure on the club to properly recognise my colleague, Peter Phillips, when he suddenly died last year, at home one Saturday morning.

Koch lectured me on what my approach should be to the club at such a time.

I answered his email and I gave him hell. You know me. I know how to put hell into words.

Koch replied, only because I had started my email with ‘My Dear David …”

He started his email with ‘My Dear Denis …” After that there followed one word: ‘Noted’.

To say that David Koch is a glob of excrement on the road to progress is to praise him beyond reality.

Can we please get this behaviour out into a very public forum?
The man needs to be held to account.
He is a lizard, a coward and much, much worse. The more I hear and witness of the way he runs our club, the more ashamed I am of us.

 

[philreich]

Can we please get this behaviour out into a very public forum?
The man needs to be held to account.
He is a lizard, a coward and much, much worse. The more I hear and witness of the way he runs our club, the more ashamed I am of us.

I hope people boo him when he gets up to speak at the B&F - that's if anyone bothers to turn up.

 

[backtozero]

FIVE MINUTES ALOOOONE

 

[Lockhart Road]

Hopefully you'll be disclosing some more nuggets soon Lockhart Road ?

What do you want to hear about first?

1. The posh lunch at the end of 2016 at the top of Pacific Place at which Koch was host and a few of us were invited along as ears and worshippers? He wanted to spend an hour telling us about all the restaurants in Hong Kong that he’d been to; I insisted on interrupting with questions about PAFC, and talking about the Kai Tak Sports Park to be built on the site of the old airfield where a stadium big enough to play AFL might be incorportated. Koch made it clear he knew nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park, didn’t want to hear anything about the Kai Tak Sports Park, and if anyone raised the subject again he would explode in a spray of oxenscheissen. At the end of the lunch he refused to shake my hand properly, just brushed it then pulled away. He did not enjoy that lunch one iota. Why? Because he is chairman of PAFC in name only. In the real world he is a self-centred bully loaded down with shortcomings he‘s scared of others finding out about in public. In fact I was going to sneak out the back and pay the cheque myself to see how he handled that … but he called for it himself just in time.

2. Koch’s sojourn in Hong Kong after the first Jiangwan Stadium match in May 2017? My son and I met up at Pro Drinkers Corner with Butch, Westie, Hartlett, Pittard and Broadie. We had a pizza and a few beers, then my son escorted the players across the road to the Wednesday night race meeting. I was told they ran into Koch … wearing shorts (apparently a signal that he’s off-duty and is not to be asked questions about PAFC). I dutifully set up for him a phone interview next day with Sam Agars, scribe at the South China Morning Post who’d published three or four articles on PAFC in HK and China already. “Does he have anything new to tell me?” asked Sam. “Just ask him about Port Adelaide’s huge interest in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park,” I replied.

An hour later I got a call, long-distance, from Richo. Koch had called him. Koch was furious. The interview was a bummer and when Sam Agars said something about the Kai Tak Sports Park, Koch growled: “I know nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park!!!” I asked Richo: “So the chairman forgot his pro bullshit, eh? Why didn’t he just tell Sam: “PAFC is very interested in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park.” It would’ve made a good heading for a sports-page article, a bit of spin; the Park was four years or more from being built. But no, Koch didn’t think of that. Koch has a problem thinking on his feet. You see, I was testing him. He failed the test.

Koch was in Kowloon at the time, at his daughters flat. I was in Happy Valley at home across the harbour. Rather than call me himself and have a one-on-one about how to take advantage of the opportunity that a press interview presents … Koch made a long-distance call to Richo, overworked and not involved way down in Alberton … and told Richo to call me and tell me to cease and desist bothering Chairman Moi whilst he was with his family in Kowloon.

One thing Moi knows how to do - and that is fail the simplest of tests, miss a chance for some international PR, and make it very difficult if not impossible for me to ever line up Sam Agars and the South China Morning Post for our next interview with somebody human.

 

[philreich]

What do you want to hear about first?

1. The posh lunch at the end of 2016 at the top of Pacific Place at which Koch was host and a few of us were invited along as ears and worshippers? He wanted to spend an hour telling us about all the restaurants in Hong Kong that he’d been to; I insisted on interrupting with questions about PAFC, and talking about the Kai Tak Sports Park to be built on the site of the old airfield where a stadium big enough to play AFL might be incorportated. Koch made it clear he knew nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park, didn’t want to hear anything about the Kai Tak Sports Park, and if anyone raised the subject again he would explode in a spray of oxenscheissen. At the end of the lunch he refused to shake my hand properly, just brushed it then pulled away. He did not enjoy that lunch one iota. Why? Because he is chairman of PAFC in name only. In the real world he is a self-centred bully loaded down with shortcomings he‘s scared of others finding out about in public. In fact I was going to sneak out the back and pay the cheque myself to see how he handled that … but he called for it himself just in time.

2. Koch’s sojourn in Hong Kong after the first Jiangwan Stadium match in May 2017? My son and I met up at Pro Drinkers Corner with Butch, Westie, Hartlett, Pittard and Broadie. We had a pizza and a few beers, then my son escorted the players across the road to the Wednesday night race meeting. I was told they ran into Koch … wearing shorts (apparently a signal that he’s off-duty and is not to be asked questions about PAFC). I dutifully set up for him a phone interview next day with Sam Agars, scribe at the South China Morning Post who’d published three or four articles on PAFC in HK and China already. “Does he have anything new to tell me?” asked Sam. “Just ask him about Port Adelaide’s huge interest in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park,” I replied.

An hour later I got a call, long-distance, from Richo. Koch had called him. Koch was furious. The interview was a bummer and when Sam Agars said something about the Kai Tak Sports Park, Koch growled: “I know nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park!!!” I asked Richo: “So the chairman forgot his pro bullshit, eh? Why didn’t he just tell Sam: “PAFC is very interested in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park.” It would’ve made a good heading for a sports-page article, a bit of spin; the Park was four years or more from being built. But no, Koch didn’t think of that. Koch has a problem thinking on his feet. You see, I was testing him. He failed the test.

Koch was in Kowloon at the time, at his daughters flat. I was in Happy Valley at home across the harbour. Rather than call me himself and have a one-on-one about how to take advantage of the opportunity that a press interview presents … Koch made a long-distance call to Richo, overworked and not involved way down in Alberton … and told Richo to call me and tell me to cease and desist bothering Chairman Moi whilst he was with his family in Kowloon.

One thing Moi knows how to do - and that is fail the simplest of tests, miss a chance for some international PR, and make it very difficult if not impossible for me to ever line up Sam Agars and the South China Morning Post for our next interview with somebody human.

I despise this bloke more every time you post - SURELY there's a way to get rid of him!!!!!

 

[Port 2004]

What do you want to hear about first?

1. The posh lunch at the end of 2016 at the top of Pacific Place at which Koch was host and a few of us were invited along as ears and worshippers? He wanted to spend an hour telling us about all the restaurants in Hong Kong that he’d been to; I insisted on interrupting with questions about PAFC, and talking about the Kai Tak Sports Park to be built on the site of the old airfield where a stadium big enough to play AFL might be incorportated. Koch made it clear he knew nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park, didn’t want to hear anything about the Kai Tak Sports Park, and if anyone raised the subject again he would explode in a spray of oxenscheissen. At the end of the lunch he refused to shake my hand properly, just brushed it then pulled away. He did not enjoy that lunch one iota. Why? Because he is chairman of PAFC in name only. In the real world he is a self-centred bully loaded down with shortcomings he‘s scared of others finding out about in public. In fact I was going to sneak out the back and pay the cheque myself to see how he handled that … but he called for it himself just in time.

2. Koch’s sojourn in Hong Kong after the first Jiangwan Stadium match in May 2017? My son and I met up at Pro Drinkers Corner with Butch, Westie, Hartlett, Pittard and Broadie. We had a pizza and a few beers, then my son escorted the players across the road to the Wednesday night race meeting. I was told they ran into Koch … wearing shorts (apparently a signal that he’s off-duty and is not to be asked questions about PAFC). I dutifully set up for him a phone interview next day with Sam Agars, scribe at the South China Morning Post who’d published three or four articles on PAFC in HK and China already. “Does he have anything new to tell me?” asked Sam. “Just ask him about Port Adelaide’s huge interest in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park,” I replied.

An hour later I got a call, long-distance, from Richo. Koch had called him. Koch was furious. The interview was a bummer and when Sam Agars said something about the Kai Tak Sports Park, Koch growled: “I know nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park!!!” I asked Richo: “So the chairman forgot his pro bullshit, eh? Why didn’t he just tell Sam: “PAFC is very interested in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park.” It would’ve made a good heading for a sports-page article, a bit of spin; the Park was four years or more from being built. But no, Koch didn’t think of that. Koch has a problem thinking on his feet. You see, I was testing him. He failed the test.

Koch was in Kowloon at the time, at his daughters flat. I was in Happy Valley at home across the harbour. Rather than call me himself and have a one-on-one about how to take advantage of the opportunity that a press interview presents … Koch made a long-distance call to Richo, overworked and not involved way down in Alberton … and told Richo to call me and tell me to cease and desist bothering Chairman Moi whilst he was with his family in Kowloon.

One thing Moi knows how to do - and that is fail the simplest of tests, miss a chance for some international PR, and make it very difficult if not impossible for me to ever line up Sam Agars and the South China Morning Post for our next interview with somebody human.

I have never met the bloke however I have always thought him an egoistical a-hole. We need to get rid of the cretin asap.

 

[Workingclass]

I despise this bloke more every time you post - SURELY there's a way to get rid of him!!!!!

banners in camera view and Kochies a w***er chants probably your best bet.

won't wash with the family friendly image the AFL wants. that's for sure

 

[Jojay]

What do you want to hear about first?

1. The posh lunch at the end of 2016 at the top of Pacific Place at which Koch was host and a few of us were invited along as ears and worshippers? He wanted to spend an hour telling us about all the restaurants in Hong Kong that he’d been to; I insisted on interrupting with questions about PAFC, and talking about the Kai Tak Sports Park to be built on the site of the old airfield where a stadium big enough to play AFL might be incorportated. Koch made it clear he knew nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park, didn’t want to hear anything about the Kai Tak Sports Park, and if anyone raised the subject again he would explode in a spray of oxenscheissen. At the end of the lunch he refused to shake my hand properly, just brushed it then pulled away. He did not enjoy that lunch one iota. Why? Because he is chairman of PAFC in name only. In the real world he is a self-centred bully loaded down with shortcomings he‘s scared of others finding out about in public. In fact I was going to sneak out the back and pay the cheque myself to see how he handled that … but he called for it himself just in time.

2. Koch’s sojourn in Hong Kong after the first Jiangwan Stadium match in May 2017? My son and I met up at Pro Drinkers Corner with Butch, Westie, Hartlett, Pittard and Broadie. We had a pizza and a few beers, then my son escorted the players across the road to the Wednesday night race meeting. I was told they ran into Koch … wearing shorts (apparently a signal that he’s off-duty and is not to be asked questions about PAFC). I dutifully set up for him a phone interview next day with Sam Agars, scribe at the South China Morning Post who’d published three or four articles on PAFC in HK and China already. “Does he have anything new to tell me?” asked Sam. “Just ask him about Port Adelaide’s huge interest in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park,” I replied.

An hour later I got a call, long-distance, from Richo. Koch had called him. Koch was furious. The interview was a bummer and when Sam Agars said something about the Kai Tak Sports Park, Koch growled: “I know nothing about the Kai Tak Sports Park!!!” I asked Richo: “So the chairman forgot his pro bullshit, eh? Why didn’t he just tell Sam: “PAFC is very interested in supporting the Kai Tak Sports Park.” It would’ve made a good heading for a sports-page article, a bit of spin; the Park was four years or more from being built. But no, Koch didn’t think of that. Koch has a problem thinking on his feet. You see, I was testing him. He failed the test.

Koch was in Kowloon at the time, at his daughters flat. I was in Happy Valley at home across the harbour. Rather than call me himself and have a one-on-one about how to take advantage of the opportunity that a press interview presents … Koch made a long-distance call to Richo, overworked and not involved way down in Alberton … and told Richo to call me and tell me to cease and desist bothering Chairman Moi whilst he was with his family in Kowloon.

One thing Moi knows how to do - and that is fail the simplest of tests, miss a chance for some international PR, and make it very difficult if not impossible for me to ever line up Sam Agars and the South China Morning Post for our next interview with somebody human.

You continue to not disappoint Lockhart Road. This stuff is just gold.

There's a saying..

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

or another one..

When you hear the truth, you know it (or in this case, when you read the truth, you know it).

We all know this is the real David Koch. If this info could somehow get out into the mainstream, even the happy clappers would start to second guess themselves. Until then, we are royally screwed.

 

[Vagabond0]

Anyone with a western stand membership or seen this fraud at Adelaide oval would read LR posts and not blink an eyelid.

It's obvious just looking at the guy what a con he is, doesn't belong anyone near a sporting arena.